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It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn't that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
So Anyway, Are the Cheerleaders All Okay?
Queer #1: You said: "Oooh, girl, you can't build a pyramid on top of a pyramid."
Queer #2: Did I say: "Oooh, girl"?! I did not say "Oooh, girl"!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: The Faghag
...Just Because You Seem Unable to Get Dishes Really Clean
Girl to friend, walking from their car: Jesus, Amber, nobody thinks you have a penis.
Nashville, Tennessee
That Was an Olsen Twin
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
...to Quote Walter Cronkite
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That's why titties and Tater Tots don't mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
I Got Strung Up by My Ankles at an AC/DC Concert for That Mistake
English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don't expect an answer to. When a band yells, "Are you ready to rock?", they're not actually expecting someone to yell back, "Not quite, give us a couple more minutes."
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Tennessee | Words | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like Having a Principle, Only Easier
Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.
Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee
The Hamburglar Deserves Everything He Gets
Teenage girl to another: So you can do it! You are going to go there, have sex with him, and I am going to tickle it out of you!
McDonald's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Girls | Gossip | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Sex | Teens | Tennessee | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Just That All Those Ink-Blots Looked Like Vaginas
Woman on cell: Well, I don't feel like a lesbian.
Volunteer State Community College
Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | On the phone | Sexuality | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler
Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don't get me wrong, but that's not my life.
Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Ladies who lunch | Maladies | Restaurants | Tennessee | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Viagra Is So Popular
Woman: Wood is like money to old people.
Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: FACT.
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Erections | Money | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nala Would Be an Animal in Bed, Though
Drunk college guy: Is that Nala?
Drunk college chick: She is so pretty... Don't you think she's pretty?
Drunk college guy: I'm not really into cartoons...[after several seconds] I gotta say, though, Kim pretty hot.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bragging | Christianity | Compliments | Default | Guys | Religious fanatics | Sex | Tennessee | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alternative Sculptors Can Be So Demanding
Girl #1: Who was that?
Girl #2, hanging up cell: My boyfriend.
Girl #1: What'd he want?
Girl #2: Tampons.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Jenni
Categories: Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Racist? You Decide!
Daughter: It's like... I didn't see any Mexicans around for months, and then today, I've seen so many!
Father: Well, it got warm.
Cool Springs Mall
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Haha, what?
Unless Jesus Got Jealous
Girl: You know, Santa and Superman would make an adorable gay couple.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Tennessee | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated.
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there's Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies' locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Tennessee | Posted 2008-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ummm, We're at a Wal-Mart in Tennessee.
Mom: Do you want to take your coat off?
Toddler: Go to hell!
Wal-Mart
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
Three, but They Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
Yeah, I'm the Smart-Ass Who Isn't Out of Insulin
Woman behind counter: The doctor isn't here.
Old lady: What about a nurse?
Woman behind counter: The nurses aren't allowed to write prescriptions.
Old lady: Well, you know, you're a fucking smartass.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jesa
I'll Now Require an Itemized List
Chick on boat at company party: So, your brother-in-law inherited the porn collection of a dead man? ... Okay, just making sure I understood what we were talking about.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: stuck on a boat
Marry Me.
Chick on cell: I love not wearing panties! It makes me almost as hot as that time the cable company gave us free porn for a week!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Sportin' drawers
He's Got to Be More Careful with His Fingering!
Dave Matthews Band groupie: Dude, the violinist totally screwed Dave up. He, like, totally blew his wad all over Dave's song!
Starwood Amphitheater merchandise stand
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: About celebrities | Gripes | Guys | Music | Tennessee | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Belinda Describes Herself As "Passionate"
Guy: You really need to stop driving by my house and calling me 20 times a day.
Ex-girlfriend: Whatever. You're acting like I'm a crazy stalker or something... And I don't drive by your house all the time.
Guy: Well, every time I or my dad or my roommate leave the house, you're driving away. It's kind of creepy.
Ex-girlfriend: Oh, what? Like, I mean, I would never shoot you!
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
All That Talk of Stakes...
High school girl #1: That guy in front of us is pretty hot.
High school girl #2: I thought that, too, until I realized he was touching himself during the play.
High school girl #1: What?!
High school girl #2: Yeah. I guess the Salem Witch Trials turn him on.
Intermission of The Crucible
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: the dude was a freshman.
Categories: Chicks | Getting off | Tennessee | Posted 2007-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Matches My Dress
Six-year-old boy: Look, Dad! I got a sticker.
Dad: That's a butterfly sticker, which is a girl sticker. You can't have that.
Six-year-old boy: Okay, Dad. What do you want me to do with it?
Dad: Give it to me.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Katelyn the sticker collector
Childbirth Is Very Much a Mixed-Media Event
Thrilled grandma: She was smiling so much, she could have shit her face.
Chattanooga State Library
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Overheard by: Joe!
Works for Me
Teen girl #1: So, I was in Health today, and the teacher was telling us about how you can get gonorrhea in your eye by giving someone a blowjob.
Teen girl #2: I think the entire point of that class is to scare you out of having sex.
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Then I'd Have to Sit Down and Rest
Fat drunk guy: Dude, I would totally kick a couple of chicks in the cunt!
Barley's
Knoxville, Tennessee
Besides, White Girls Don't Have Much Soul to Start With
Girl #1: Oh my god!
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: I think Charlie ate my soul!
Girl #2: ... Is that a euphemism for something I don't want to hear about?
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: this bus is weird...
... By Us.
Male cashier: There's just something about Trina that I don't like...
Female cashier: She just gets robbed too much.
Convenience store
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Yikes, Where?
Teacher, on Rosh Hashanah: Dylan?
Dylan: Here.
Teacher: Katie?
Katie: Here.
Teacher: Adam?
Class: Jew.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Her Hopes Dashed, Cheryl Moved On
Girl #1: Oh my god, is that the Nazi symbol on your necklace?!
Girl #2: ... It's a Star of David!
Bus Shelter C
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Ever Wondered How It's Possible to Have Fun in Tennessee?
Midwestern tourist: Excuse me, are there any malls around here?
Local teen, in exaggerated accent: We don't have malls in these here parts. Malls tempt the young ones to siiin. [Tourist leaves, scared. Teen then grumbles without accent] Fucking tourist.
Broadway and 4th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Hobo: Directions? That'll Be One Blow Job
Preppy girl: Can we have our cell phones on for the field trip?
Teacher: No.
Preppy girl: But what if we get separated from the group? How will we find our way back?
Female peer: Ask a friendly hobo.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
No Need for the Nuclear Option
Girl, almost running into parking meter: Whoops.
Guy: Holy crap! Did you really just do that?
Girl: Shut up. [Guy gradually edges her off to the side.] ... Are you trying to make me actually run into one?! [Guy laughs.] Ughhh, I am so withholding sex.
Guy: Wait, wait! I didn't mean it!
Church Street and 7th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Staples Does Have Everything!
Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I've ever seen!
Staples
Franklin, Tennessee
They Were Baffled, but Cooperative
Man: I remember how one Halloween we ran out of candy and had to start giving the kids tea bags.
Mafiaoza's
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: John Chapin
The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Drinking & drunks | North America | Penis | Sex | Tennessee | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's All I've Ever Needed
Grad student: Do you still need your rocks warmed?
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes
Animal technician: Oh, did she pipette her hoo-hah yesterday?
Research facility
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Categories: Medical personnel | Questions | Tennessee | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Only Be Able to Make Improvements on the Basis of Efficiency
Professor: At every threshold capacity spanking is happening!
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Largely Involving Your Vagina
Angry girl: I don't want any sluts at my table!
Friend, calmly: Well, I guess I should move, then.
Angry girl: You're not a slut. You just make... odd choices.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Vastly Amused