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Tonight's Movie: The Object Of My Infection
Teen girl on phone: The chlamydia is inclusive.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Health & Hygiene | STDs | Teens | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Though I Do Still Have PTSD from That House.
Hippie: Yeah, John saw things that nobody should see.
Chic woman: Dude! We all did! Your house was seriously gross!
Hippie: Uh, I meant when he was in the war in Iraq...
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compliments | Geography | Hippies | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2011-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hope to Graduate Magma Cum Laude
Teacher: That would make such a great scene in a movie: A volcano smoking, then it erupts, and thousands of ninjas spout out of it and run forth and populate the earth!
Student: This is the best class ever!
Memphis, Tennessee
First Of All, It's Totally Disgusting That He Rode a Niña
Wife: Are you sure your office isn't closed for Columbus Day?
Husband: No, we could opt to take it off rather than the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Wife: Oh, that would be dumb.
Husband: Yeah. Besides, I think Columbus was kind of an a-hole.
Nashville, Tennessee
I Blame Myself for Buying You the Little Pin-striped Suit and Supersoaker
Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.
Memphis, Tennessee
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Glad the condom broke | Holidays | Tennessee | Posted 2010-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A New Grammar Book by Tyra Banks
Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Drunks | Girls | Insults | Language barrier | Tennessee | Posted 2010-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Teachers Want Is to Fit in
Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure... Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!
Nashville, Tennessee
Start With Those Who Have Babies
Older woman to her friend: You just don't ask your mother about your sex life. If you have questions, go ask your friends.
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Overheard by: Perplexed
I Just Like Peeing on Sticks
Mom: So tell me the truth. Was that your pregnancy test dad found in the trash?
Daughter: Jesus Christ, mom! No!
Mom: Okay, well, I just wanted to...
Daughter, interrupting: I wish it was my test! At least then I'd be having a good time!
YMCA
Nashville, Tennessee
Just As Well-- I'm a Little Fuzzy on the Whole "Bagel" Concept
Customer: Do you have any lox?
Wal-Mart employee: Of course. They're over in hardware.
Customer: No. Lox, like bagels and lox.
Wal-Mart employee: Lots? Lots of bagels?
Customer: I'll just go to Publix.
Wal-Mart
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Heading for Publix, too.
Isn't Tennessee Enough?
American girl: I get really emotional when I'm in church. I feel like I don't deserve to be there.
Brazilian girl: That's because you deserve to be in prison.
Nashville, Tennessee
I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability
Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Nashville, Tennessee
No Easy Feat, Considering It Was Sauce from a Domino's Pizza.
Dude on cell, excitedly: Yeah, dude. Everything. We even learned how to make food out of pizza sauce!
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Miss Behaved
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Food | Guys | Tennessee | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Our Sex Life Is Gaggleicious
19-year-old girlfriend: You're a silly goose!
19-year-old boyfriend: You are too!
19-year-old girlfriend: That's why we are dating!
Memphis, Tennessee
I'm Saving Those for the Yearbook
Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
The "Hugs, Not Drugs" Campaign Has Had Mixed Results
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Tennessee | Thugs | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Imagine It's a Lot Like Victory.
Little boy throwing fit: I've never had dessert in my life! I don't even know what it tastes like!
Outside Cookie Store
Kingsport, Tennessee
Almost As Rude As Answering Your Cell Phone in Class
Pol-sci professor: Nuking other countries is kind of rude.
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
It's a Prerequisite for Graduation.
Professor: How old are you?
Visiting high school student: Seventeen.
Professor: And you're not married? Well, you've come to the right place!
Freed-Hardeman University
Henderson, Tennessee
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Education | Questions | Relationships | Students | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2009-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Momma Grows Red Fur, Then We'll Talk.
Dad: Does Gracie love momma?
Toddler: Pshnoooooo.
Dad: Does Gracie love Elmo?
Toddler: Yeah!
Target
Nashville, Tennessee
...Where No One Knows My Identity.
Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Eve's dropper
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Friends | Guys | Tennessee | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Need to Stop Watching Those Darned Kardashians, Sir.
Professor: You just need to expose yourself! That's how you better yourself!
Middle Tennessee State Univ
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Libby K.
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Education | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jesus Wept.
5th grade girl: And he says to me, "you are so stupid," and I say to him, "you are more stupid than me." Then he says "nuh-uh, you more stupider than anybody." And I'm said, "whatever, stupid!"
Tennessee
Overheard by: beth
Categories: Compare and contrast | Insults | Students | Stupidity | Tennessee | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop Being Black at the Store!
Mom to child yelling and running around: Quit it! You embarrassin' me in front of the white folk!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: A white folk
If She Doesn't Want Them, Our Entire System Of Currency Is Shot to Shit
Woman on phone: Well, if she wants the fucking dishtowels, she better!
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Drew
Categories: Insults | On the phone | Tennessee | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whose Bra Is This, Anyway?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #1: I feel like I smell really terrible. Can you smell me?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #2: Yeah. We should probably take a shower... wash away the sins of last night.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bathing | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Aunt Jemima Eats Burritos, Everyone Knows It.
Churchgoer to another: Did you fart? Something smells like buttermilk.
Methodist Church
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Nick
Categories: Burping & farting | Compare and contrast | Food | Sensory experiences | Strangers | Tennessee | Posted 2009-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tennessee Teenagers Have Only Two Options
Loud smoking kid: Man, I gotta help out at vacation bible school next week.
Girl: Why?
Loud smoking kid: I promised Zach I would if I wasn't in jail.
Sewanee, Tennessee
Just Because Of the Short-Shorts and Rollerskates?
Curious brunette: Hey, is that casting agent friend of yours gay?
Exasperated brunette: No! That's the guy I sleep with sometimes. Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Rosepepper Cantina
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Amy Rose
I'm Just Psyched to Have the Opportunity to Mock It
Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it's High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well... so do I!
Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: i hate it too
So We Didn't Do the Hanksta-Panksta
Preppy Hispanic girl: He thinks he's so gangsta-gangsta, but he's not. He's a wangsta-wangsta.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Latinas | Preppies | Stupidity | Tennessee | Posted 2009-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Confucius Was Quite the Misogynist
Old man to another: Well, ya know what they say. Life's too short to dance with ugly women!
Flea Market
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Default | Guys | Old folks | Tennessee | Posted 2009-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Fun and Flirty One
Guy #1: Yo, fathead! Going to prison is just a fact of life. Everybody goes at least once.
Guy #2: I know, man...I'm just gonna miss the daily hustle.
Guy #1: Like I said, you're not a man till you've worn a jumpsuit.
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Hannah H
I Just Thought It Would Be a Lot Bigger, Is All.
Little girl in stall with dad: You're silly! This is silly!
Dad, peeing: Nothing is silly in here.
Girl: That's silly. This is silly. Stop.
Men's Bathroom
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
What Exactly Is on These Stamps?
Postal worker, about upcoming breast cancer research stamps: The scientists and the breasts will be out soon.
Post Office
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: just want to send a package
The Doctor Said You Border on Mumu Fat.
Woman: You should shop at Lane Bryant!
Girl: Mom, that's a fat girls store!
Woman: I shopped there when I was 17, and you're much fatter that I was!
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
Categories: Advice | Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Girls | Shopping | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2009-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Learn How to Spell.
Adult male to adult female and teen: You know what I told her? I says "you're a cunt, with a capital K."
Outside Skateboard Shop
Chattanooga, Tennessee
I Notice You Came Up with That Description Awfully Quickly
Dude #1: Dude, are you still drunk?
Dude #2: Maybe a little, how could you tell?
Dude #1: You smell like beer, weed, and hooker spit!
Lecture Hall
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: bluecollarbelle
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Drunks | Guys | Questions | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Posted 2009-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party
Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.
Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara
Categories: Default | Frat boy types | Guys | Memory lane | Names | Questions | Restaurants | Students | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By Paying That Guy on the Internet for It
Blonde Vanderbilt freshman: It literally was, like, the best essay I've ever written. I mean, it was awesome. My mom helped me a lot.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Family ties | Guys | Students | Tennessee | Posted 2009-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Lean Cuisine Commercials Have Rocked Our Society to the Core
Girl #1: You know, thanks for listening to my problems. I know you've got a lot of your own, and they're totally worse than mine.
Girl #2: Dude! My problems are like...I had really crappy Chinese for dinner four hours ago shit. Your problems are just like, you had chicken and a salad for dinner last night shit. It's totally cool.
East Tennessee
Overheard by: yeah? well i had lasagna for dinner.
Anyway, Aliens Share a Hive Consciousness and Can't Die
Sophomore #1, during heated debate about zombie safety: Wait! What if there were alien zombies?
Sophomore #2: Shut up! We're talking about realistic stuff, here!
Theatre Class, Rossview High
Clarksville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Offers and requests | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Tennessee | Zombies | Posted 2009-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I Watched the Wheels in His Mind Go Round and Round
Woman to friend: He told me last night he had a baby girl named Traley. I asked him if that was short for trailer park.
Nashville, Tennessee
Oops, Sorry About Your Hair.
Cute girl #1: Hey, I want you to meet one of my best guy friends.
Cute girl #2 to male friend: Hey, nice to meet ya.
Male friend holding lighter, totally ignoring others: I can make fire! (shouting) I'm a goddamn wizard!
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: kiwi
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Guys | Magic | Tennessee | Posted 2009-02-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Other Words, It's Like Being Molested
Happy teacher: Welcome to creative writing class. This class is like us taking a hot bath. Together. With candles.
Harpeth Hall School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Default | Education | Health & Hygiene | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You're Dying, You Have a Better Life Than This Guy
Nurse: Is there any chance you're pregnant?
Lady, looking at husband in disgust: No, you have to have sex to get pregnant.
(husband looks at floor and shakes his head)
Hospital
Tennessee
Overheard by: the guy behind you
And If You Could Pass to the Front Your Wallets and Jewelry, That Would Be Awesome-- Thanks!
Pilot to passengers: Everyone, please make sure your seatbelts are fastened. I'm gonna fly this plane like I stole it.
Flight from Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Advice | Airports & flights | Default | Offers and requests | Pilots | Public Transportation | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dolly Parton Doesn't Get Out Much These Days
Blonde: Oh my god! Are you wearing makeup?
Black man in drag: Yes I am, sugar.
Blonde: Where did you get it?
Black man in drag: Um, the store.
Blonde: Do they make makeup for black people?
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Overheard by: Natalie
Dos Cervezas, Por Favor!
Four-year-old boy, excitedly, as he and his family are being seated: Beer! Beer! Dad, they have beer here!
El Metate Mexican Restaurant
Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mrs. H.
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Kids | Restaurants | Tennessee | Posted 2009-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Giving New Meaning to "Here Comes the Bride"
(girl is trying on a wedding gown with a huge train. Grandmother and mom are fanning the train out around her)
Grandma: Okay, we're going to be the fluffers.
Mom: Yes we are.
Nashville, Tennessee
Makes Teaching Teenagers Seem Almost Bearable
Chemistry teacher: We've been experimenting with butane for the last three periods and I'm a little high right now.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
On the Other Hand, If I Don't Make Out with Him, the Terrorists Win
Roommate: I am afraid that if I make out with him, he'll think that I'm an Iraqi.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Possibly...
Categories: Default | Fears | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Tennessee | Posted 2008-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I May Just Be Really, Really Slutty
Woman to friend: How can she know she's bi at 16? I'm 35 and *I* don't know if *I'm* bi!
Outside Steinmart
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: BecauseISaidSo
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Questions | Sexuality | Stores | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then We March Through Georgia!
Foreign language professor on first day of class (in Russian): By the end of this year, I will have you singing like Russian whores!
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Language barrier | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Show the Driver Your Sippy Cup, Boy
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Categories: Bus drivers | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Education | Guys | Kids | Parenting | Parents | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eli Whitney: I Swear, Sir, That Was Never My Intention!
Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, "Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?" What a retard!
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
Categories: Default | Drunks | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Penis | Relationships | Sorority types | Stupidity | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Bet Oscar the Grouch Would Be Into Flogging
Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One... Hahaha... Two... Hahaha...
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Friends | Girls | Restaurants | TV shows | Tennessee | Posted 2008-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Motherfucking Dog
Dude: But he fucked my mom!
Friend: Well, you did steal his dog.
Dude: Yeah, I guess.
Flea Market
Tennessee
Overheard by: Mouse
In the Sense That I Won't Do the Reading Anyway
Spacey English major: So... he's a queer writer, right?
Surprised teaching assistant: No. He's just Jewish American.
Spacey English major: Oh, same thing.
University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Religion | Sexuality | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2008-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Tutor. Ever
Woman on cell: Okay. Well, do you want the blowjob first or do you want to study first?
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Default | Education | Offers and requests | On the phone | Questions | Tennessee | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Really Should've Written a Shopping List
Wife to husband: There was something I was going to tell you, but it didn't have anything to do with strap-ons or racism. Oh well, it'll come to me.
Target
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Categories: Clothes | Default | Memory lane | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn't that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
So Anyway, Are the Cheerleaders All Okay?
Queer #1: You said: "Oooh, girl, you can't build a pyramid on top of a pyramid."
Queer #2: Did I say: "Oooh, girl"?! I did not say "Oooh, girl"!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: The Faghag
...Just Because You Seem Unable to Get Dishes Really Clean
Girl to friend, walking from their car: Jesus, Amber, nobody thinks you have a penis.
Nashville, Tennessee
That Was an Olsen Twin
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
...to Quote Walter Cronkite
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That's why titties and Tater Tots don't mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
I Got Strung Up by My Ankles at an AC/DC Concert for That Mistake
English teacher: A rhetorical question is a question you don't expect an answer to. When a band yells, "Are you ready to rock?", they're not actually expecting someone to yell back, "Not quite, give us a couple more minutes."
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Tennessee | Words | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like Having a Principle, Only Easier
Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.
Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee
The Hamburglar Deserves Everything He Gets
Teenage girl to another: So you can do it! You are going to go there, have sex with him, and I am going to tickle it out of you!
McDonald's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Girls | Gossip | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Sex | Teens | Tennessee | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Just That All Those Ink-Blots Looked Like Vaginas
Woman on cell: Well, I don't feel like a lesbian.
Volunteer State Community College
Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | On the phone | Sexuality | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler
Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don't get me wrong, but that's not my life.
Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Ladies who lunch | Maladies | Restaurants | Tennessee | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Viagra Is So Popular
Woman: Wood is like money to old people.
Maryland Farms
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: FACT.
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Erections | Money | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nala Would Be an Animal in Bed, Though
Drunk college guy: Is that Nala?
Drunk college chick: She is so pretty... Don't you think she's pretty?
Drunk college guy: I'm not really into cartoons...[after several seconds] I gotta say, though, Kim pretty hot.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student
Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.
PM's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bragging | Christianity | Compliments | Default | Guys | Religious fanatics | Sex | Tennessee | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alternative Sculptors Can Be So Demanding
Girl #1: Who was that?
Girl #2, hanging up cell: My boyfriend.
Girl #1: What'd he want?
Girl #2: Tampons.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Jenni
Categories: Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Racist? You Decide!
Daughter: It's like... I didn't see any Mexicans around for months, and then today, I've seen so many!
Father: Well, it got warm.
Cool Springs Mall
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Haha, what?
Unless Jesus Got Jealous
Girl: You know, Santa and Superman would make an adorable gay couple.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Tennessee | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated.
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there's Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies' locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Tennessee | Posted 2008-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ummm, We're at a Wal-Mart in Tennessee.
Mom: Do you want to take your coat off?
Toddler: Go to hell!
Wal-Mart
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
Three, but They Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
Yeah, I'm the Smart-Ass Who Isn't Out of Insulin
Woman behind counter: The doctor isn't here.
Old lady: What about a nurse?
Woman behind counter: The nurses aren't allowed to write prescriptions.
Old lady: Well, you know, you're a fucking smartass.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jesa
I'll Now Require an Itemized List
Chick on boat at company party: So, your brother-in-law inherited the porn collection of a dead man? ... Okay, just making sure I understood what we were talking about.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: stuck on a boat
Marry Me.
Chick on cell: I love not wearing panties! It makes me almost as hot as that time the cable company gave us free porn for a week!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Sportin' drawers
He's Got to Be More Careful with His Fingering!
Dave Matthews Band groupie: Dude, the violinist totally screwed Dave up. He, like, totally blew his wad all over Dave's song!
Starwood Amphitheater merchandise stand
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: About celebrities | Gripes | Guys | Music | Tennessee | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Belinda Describes Herself As "Passionate"
Guy: You really need to stop driving by my house and calling me 20 times a day.
Ex-girlfriend: Whatever. You're acting like I'm a crazy stalker or something... And I don't drive by your house all the time.
Guy: Well, every time I or my dad or my roommate leave the house, you're driving away. It's kind of creepy.
Ex-girlfriend: Oh, what? Like, I mean, I would never shoot you!
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
All That Talk of Stakes...
High school girl #1: That guy in front of us is pretty hot.
High school girl #2: I thought that, too, until I realized he was touching himself during the play.
High school girl #1: What?!
High school girl #2: Yeah. I guess the Salem Witch Trials turn him on.
Intermission of The Crucible
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: the dude was a freshman.
Categories: Chicks | Getting off | Tennessee | Posted 2007-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Matches My Dress
Six-year-old boy: Look, Dad! I got a sticker.
Dad: That's a butterfly sticker, which is a girl sticker. You can't have that.
Six-year-old boy: Okay, Dad. What do you want me to do with it?
Dad: Give it to me.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Katelyn the sticker collector
Childbirth Is Very Much a Mixed-Media Event
Thrilled grandma: She was smiling so much, she could have shit her face.
Chattanooga State Library
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Overheard by: Joe!
Works for Me
Teen girl #1: So, I was in Health today, and the teacher was telling us about how you can get gonorrhea in your eye by giving someone a blowjob.
Teen girl #2: I think the entire point of that class is to scare you out of having sex.
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Then I'd Have to Sit Down and Rest
Fat drunk guy: Dude, I would totally kick a couple of chicks in the cunt!
Barley's
Knoxville, Tennessee
Besides, White Girls Don't Have Much Soul to Start With
Girl #1: Oh my god!
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: I think Charlie ate my soul!
Girl #2: ... Is that a euphemism for something I don't want to hear about?
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: this bus is weird...
... By Us.
Male cashier: There's just something about Trina that I don't like...
Female cashier: She just gets robbed too much.
Convenience store
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Yikes, Where?
Teacher, on Rosh Hashanah: Dylan?
Dylan: Here.
Teacher: Katie?
Katie: Here.
Teacher: Adam?
Class: Jew.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Her Hopes Dashed, Cheryl Moved On
Girl #1: Oh my god, is that the Nazi symbol on your necklace?!
Girl #2: ... It's a Star of David!
Bus Shelter C
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Ever Wondered How It's Possible to Have Fun in Tennessee?
Midwestern tourist: Excuse me, are there any malls around here?
Local teen, in exaggerated accent: We don't have malls in these here parts. Malls tempt the young ones to siiin. [Tourist leaves, scared. Teen then grumbles without accent] Fucking tourist.
Broadway and 4th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Hobo: Directions? That'll Be One Blow Job
Preppy girl: Can we have our cell phones on for the field trip?
Teacher: No.
Preppy girl: But what if we get separated from the group? How will we find our way back?
Female peer: Ask a friendly hobo.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
No Need for the Nuclear Option
Girl, almost running into parking meter: Whoops.
Guy: Holy crap! Did you really just do that?
Girl: Shut up. [Guy gradually edges her off to the side.] ... Are you trying to make me actually run into one?! [Guy laughs.] Ughhh, I am so withholding sex.
Guy: Wait, wait! I didn't mean it!
Church Street and 7th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: pedestrian
Staples Does Have Everything!
Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I've ever seen!
Staples
Franklin, Tennessee
They Were Baffled, but Cooperative
Man: I remember how one Halloween we ran out of candy and had to start giving the kids tea bags.
Mafiaoza's
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: John Chapin
The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Drinking & drunks | North America | Penis | Sex | Tennessee | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's All I've Ever Needed
Grad student: Do you still need your rocks warmed?
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes
Animal technician: Oh, did she pipette her hoo-hah yesterday?
Research facility
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Categories: Medical personnel | Questions | Tennessee | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Only Be Able to Make Improvements on the Basis of Efficiency
Professor: At every threshold capacity spanking is happening!
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2007-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Largely Involving Your Vagina
Angry girl: I don't want any sluts at my table!
Friend, calmly: Well, I guess I should move, then.
Angry girl: You're not a slut. You just make... odd choices.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Vastly Amused
Categories: Euphemisms | Friends | Tennessee | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
