Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
South Carolina All Categories > Places > North America > USA > South Carolina
Recent | Best Of
You Women Sure Know How to Dick Around.
Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That's it! Straddle it, you'll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.
Target
North Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chris M
Categories: Advice | Character | South Carolina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Kind Of Sorry-Ass Man Drinks at Applebees?
Loud drunk man at bar to attractive woman leaving restaurant: Can I take you out to McDonald's sometime?
Woman: No, I'm married. Thanks for the offer, though.
Drunk man: Married? Well, shoot! Where's your husband at then?
Woman: He's working.
Drunk man: Working? Well, hell! I work sometimes too!
Applebee's
Beaufort, South Carolina
Categories: Drunks | Etiquette | Food | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Relationships | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2011-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sassy New Rap Song by Gloria Steinem
Old redneck to wife: I don't need no damn misogynist. I done tried that, and it didn't help.
Greenville, South Carolina
Categories: Character | Couples | Feelings | Insults | Relationships | South Carolina | Posted 2011-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...the Last Time I Was Truly Happy.
Sexy baseball coach: I was shooting pheasants, naked, in Boise, Idaho.
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Saywhat?!
Categories: Animals | Leisure | South Carolina | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2011-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Way to Start Off the Marriage with a Splash!
50-something Southern belle: We got married last year and he refused to leave for the honeymoon until he went gator hunting. We didn't consummate for three days!
South Carolina
Categories: Gripes | Relationships | Sexuality | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2010-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One's a Very Black Sheep, Indeed
Southern belle: I basically have two brothers. Well, no, I have three. Basically three brothers.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: John S.
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Science | South Carolina | Posted 2010-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Straight Guys See Women's Clothes Solely in Terms Of What They Cover
Annoyed wife trying on unattractive skirt: So what do you think?
Husband, with baby: It looks nice.
Annoyed wife, returning to dressing room: What do you know?
Husband to baby: Son, you have no chance.
Old Navy
South Carolina
Overheard by: Kempii
The Zac Efron Movie That Should Be Made
Teenage boy, shrieking: He touched my penis! He touched my penis! And I'm gay! I'm gay!
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Penis | Queers | Sexuality | South Carolina | Teens | Posted 2010-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the People Who Brought You Rice Cakes...
Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?
Midlandstech, South Carolina
Categories: Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...That's an Erection, Joey.
Teenage boy to friend: Oh, damn, my skin's turning purple again!
Friend: Your skin's turning purple again?
Teenage boy: Yeah!
Friend: Oh, damn!
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Friends | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least, He Said It Was Mayonnaise
Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Food | Girls | On the phone | South Carolina | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Way to Step on My Gripping Tale, Britney
Girl #1: So I didn't go to your brother's house last night.
Guy: Oh, where'd you go?
Girl #1: I was in a car.
Guy: Oh.
Girl #1: Yeah, and they were all like, "Yeah! Whassup?"
Girl #2: I was in a car last night.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Questions | South Carolina | Stupidity | Posted 2009-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Surprised That You Left the House
Girl #1: I smell vagina. Do you smell vagina?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Is it my vagina? Maybe it's your breath. (girl #2 blows in her face) Yeah, it's your breath. It smells like vagina.
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Girls | Questions | Sensory experiences | South Carolina | Vagina | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since the Rain Machine Is Broken
Host to dumb tourist: Would you like to sit inside or in the garden?
Dumb tourist: What's the weather like in the garden?
Host: I'm going to guess that it's the same as outside the front door you just walked through.
Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Crash
Categories: Employees | Idiots | Questions | Restaurants | Science | South Carolina | Stupidity | Tourists | Weather | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What You Never Knew About Clark Kent's Upbringing
Daddy: If you don't eat...
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!
Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Carrie
Categories: Ass | Dads | Food | Kids | Parenting | Restaurants | Sensory experiences | Should have used a condom | South Carolina | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Always Regretted Not Attending Finishing School
Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Aubree
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Girls | Pee | Questions | South Carolina | Posted 2009-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Now I Understand Why Your Pants Are Always Wet
Tall balding guy: You know how you can eat so much and be so full that when you take a piss you can't even see your dick?
Friend: No.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: could not stop laughing
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Friends | Guys | Pee | Penis | Questions | South Carolina | Posted 2009-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And That He Watches According to Jim??
College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said "single."
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to...
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Nuddles
Categories: Default | Friends | Girls | Internet | Kids | Questions | Relationships | Sorority types | South Carolina | Students | Posted 2009-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worst. Smoothie. Ever.
Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like "I think there's still a strawberry up there!"
Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina
Overheard by: starch
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Guys | Pop culture | South Carolina | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even If I Am 87% Synthetic
Overly dramatic English teacher: You will have the face you deserve when you are eighty. I will be beautiful.
AC Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Compliments | Default | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And All These People Were Lying on Me
Sorority ditz: It's not that I didn't want to do the homework, I was just too drunk.
USC
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Education | Sorority types | South Carolina | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bratz Has Everyone Confused
Lady to greeter: Do you have any children's CDs...like for real children?
Greeter: (bewildered look)
Greenville, South Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Music | Offers and requests | Questions | South Carolina | Women | Words | Posted 2008-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Worse, in Canadia Wearing a Spandex Unitard
Ten-year-old boy to another: Yeah, I told my sister that if she kept it up, she'd end up in Mexico with her panties off.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i want to meet the sister
Categories: Default | Family ties | Geography | Guys | Kids | Sexuality | South Carolina | Threats | Posted 2008-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In South Carolina, Getting a Piece of Tail Involves Surgery
Teenage waitress telling baby boomer male customer her medical issues: Yeah, and I got this tail thing right here. (points at lower back) It looks like I'm growing a tail.
Fatz Cafe
Lexington, South Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Default | Employees | Restaurants | South Carolina | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Getting Thinner with Every Stomach Spasm!
Drunk girl to another drunk girl puking at the curb: Girl, it's okay girl. You're still cute, girl.
Greenville, South Carolina
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compliments | Default | Drunks | Girls | South Carolina | Posted 2008-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially If She Has to Pay for a Funeral
Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.
Clemson, South Carolina
Categories: Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Guys | South Carolina | Stupidity | Posted 2008-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Would You Characterize Kelly Ripa?
Teen #1: I hate her. She is such a milk!
Teen #2: What? Don't you mean "milf"?
Teen #1: No, man. She is a mother I would like to kill.
Teen #2: Oh. I think she is a milky milf!
Teen #1: There is something wrong with you.
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Creepsters | Death & dying | Default | Friends | Guys | Murder | Sex | South Carolina | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Sorry I Did That, Amber
English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it's true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Don't, Try the Cafeteria's Amphetameatloaf
History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya'll get high from this, you're welcome.
High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: thank you!
Categories: Default | Drugs | Education | Etiquette | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Using a Venus Razor Does Not Make You a Goddess, Ms. Pratt
English teacher: It's a big responsibility to be a goddess, it troubles me all the time.
A.C. Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Bragging | Default | Gripes | Pride | Religion | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Women | Posted 2008-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, 'You've been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!'
Girl #1: ... So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Condoms | Default | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | South Carolina | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Knew Yuppie Teens Could Leave Us So Intrigued?
Yuppie teen girl #1: I'm sooo glad it didn't happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their... like... stuff.
Hotel elevator
South Carolina
Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?
You're Also an 87-Year-Old Asian Man.
Girl #1: Hey, I know you! Isn't your name 'Laura'?
Girl #2: No, not even close, actually.
Girl #1: Yes, it is. Your name is Laura.
Girl #2: No, it really isn't.
Girl #1: Well, it is now.
Friendly's
South Carolina
Categories: Default | Girls | Names | Questions | South Carolina | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... In Church
Guy to pal: Sometimes I wish it were socially acceptable to have another guy suck your dick.
Simpsonville, South Carolina
Categories: BJs | Guys | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hello? Decepticons
Queer to fag hag, after Transformers preview: I thought they were, like, good guys...
Regal Cinemas
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh hysterically
Categories: Movies | Queers | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There'll Be No Puss in Boots
Woman, speaking up to friends: My cat is gay, and I'm okay with that... I tell the groomer he wants the pink bow, not the plaid one.
Restaurant
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Animals | Ladies who lunch | Sexuality | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Someone Adds an "S" to It
Male student #1: I was seriously one letter away from spelling 'vagina.'
Male student #2: That's a pretty high-scoring word.
Male student #3: You'd be, like, a Scrabble Club hero or something.
Addelstone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i was impressed
Categories: South Carolina | Students | Vagina | Words | Posted 2007-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus, I Finally Had That Baby
Chick #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Chick #2: It was really fun -- my wart fell off!
Chick #1: Really? How?
Chick #2: I don't know! It just fell off. It was the best weekend ever!
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | South Carolina | Posted 2007-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless It Happens to Someone Else
Hipster: Anal leakage is never funny.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Katie
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | South Carolina | Posted 2007-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Didn't Do the Reading, Did You?
Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?
College of Charleston
South Carolina
Categories: Jesus | South Carolina | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Line Uttered by Thousands of Theater-Goers in the '80s and '90s
Big black lady in checkout lane: This place is a hell of a lot better than Wal-Mart.
Companion: Tell me about it.
Big black lady: Last time I was in there, my blood pressure was, like, eight hundred over five hundred.
Companion: Mmm-hm.
Big black lady: I was seeing stars. Pretty colors, though. Man, I should not have seen cats.
Target, Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: amused cashier
Categories: Black people | Gripes | South Carolina | Posted 2007-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Loved Being Your Finger-Puppet
Short girl: I'm gonna go and buy you a birthday card.
Tall girl: Yeah, you didn't buy me anything for my birthday!
Short girl: Yes, I did! I bought your fingers!
Tall girl: Oh, yeah! [Laughs.]
Magnolia Mall
Florence, South Carolina
Categories: Friends | Gifts | South Carolina | Posted 2007-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Driving a Buss These Days and Getting Ready to Move Out of His Dad's Apartment
Fat lady pulling her kid from path of speeding bus: That's right -- step out and meet Jesus!
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Cootine
Categories: Moms | South Carolina | Threats | Posted 2007-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hemingway Really Died
Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!
The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Categories: Bars & Clubs | North America | South Carolina | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
