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So I'm Sorry I Did That, Amber

English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it's true.

Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

If You Don't, Try the Cafeteria's Amphetameatloaf

History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya'll get high from this, you're welcome.

High School
Columbia, South Carolina


Overheard by: thank you!

Using a Venus Razor Does Not Make You a Goddess, Ms. Pratt

English teacher: It's a big responsibility to be a goddess, it troubles me all the time.

A.C. Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen

Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, 'You've been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!'
Girl #1: ... So, how did she find out?

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina


Overheard by: Addison

Who Knew Yuppie Teens Could Leave Us So Intrigued?

Yuppie teen girl #1: I'm sooo glad it didn't happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their... like... stuff.

Hotel elevator
South Carolina


Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?


Categories: Default | Feelings | Girls | South Carolina | Teens | Words | Yuppies | Posted 2008-03-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Also an 87-Year-Old Asian Man.

Girl #1: Hey, I know you! Isn't your name 'Laura'?
Girl #2: No, not even close, actually.
Girl #1: Yes, it is. Your name is Laura.
Girl #2: No, it really isn't.
Girl #1: Well, it is now.

Friendly's
South Carolina


Categories: Default | Girls | Names | Questions | South Carolina | Posted 2008-03-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... In Church

Guy to pal: Sometimes I wish it were socially acceptable to have another guy suck your dick.

Simpsonville, South Carolina


Categories: BJs | Guys | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hello? Decepticons

Queer to fag hag, after Transformers preview: I thought they were, like, good guys...

Regal Cinemas
Greenville, South Carolina


Overheard by: Trying not to laugh hysterically


Categories: Movies | Queers | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

There'll Be No Puss in Boots

Woman, speaking up to friends: My cat is gay, and I'm okay with that... I tell the groomer he wants the pink bow, not the plaid one.

Restaurant
Columbia, South Carolina


Categories: Animals | Ladies who lunch | Sexuality | South Carolina | Posted 2008-01-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Until Someone Adds an "S" to It

Male student #1: I was seriously one letter away from spelling 'vagina.'
Male student #2: That's a pretty high-scoring word.
Male student #3: You'd be, like, a Scrabble Club hero or something.

Addelstone Library
Charleston, South Carolina


Overheard by: i was impressed


Categories: South Carolina | Students | Vagina | Words | Posted 2007-12-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Plus, I Finally Had That Baby

Chick #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Chick #2: It was really fun -- my wart fell off!
Chick #1: Really? How?
Chick #2: I don't know! It just fell off. It was the best weekend ever!

Charleston, South Carolina


Categories: Body parts | Chicks | South Carolina | Posted 2007-12-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Unless It Happens to Someone Else

Hipster: Anal leakage is never funny.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Katie


Categories: Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | South Carolina | Posted 2007-11-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Didn't Do the Reading, Did You?

Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?

College of Charleston
South Carolina


Categories: Jesus | South Carolina | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Line Uttered by Thousands of Theater-Goers in the '80s and '90s

Big black lady in checkout lane: This place is a hell of a lot better than Wal-Mart.
Companion: Tell me about it.
Big black lady: Last time I was in there, my blood pressure was, like, eight hundred over five hundred.
Companion: Mmm-hm.
Big black lady: I was seeing stars. Pretty colors, though. Man, I should not have seen cats.

Target, Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina


Overheard by: amused cashier


Categories: Black people | Gripes | South Carolina | Posted 2007-10-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And I Loved Being Your Finger-Puppet

Short girl: I'm gonna go and buy you a birthday card.
Tall girl: Yeah, you didn't buy me anything for my birthday!
Short girl: Yes, I did! I bought your fingers!
Tall girl: Oh, yeah! [Laughs.]

Magnolia Mall
Florence, South Carolina


Categories: Friends | Gifts | South Carolina | Posted 2007-10-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He's Driving a Buss These Days and Getting Ready to Move Out of His Dad's Apartment

Fat lady pulling her kid from path of speeding bus: That's right -- step out and meet Jesus!

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Cootine


Categories: Moms | South Carolina | Threats | Posted 2007-08-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How Hemingway Really Died

Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!

The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina


Overheard by: innocent bystander


Categories: Bars & Clubs | North America | South Carolina | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook