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As You Should Know All Too Well, Cuntrella

Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell that?
(silence)
Student
: Looks like it's time to whip out the dic!

Teacher: Some words should *not* be shortened.

High School Classroom
Rhode Island

Right Up There with the Taoist Classic "C Is For Cookie-- Is Good Enough for Me"

Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn't listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I've got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like "I don't see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies."

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This


Categories: Advice | Default | Food | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | Rhode Island | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now Aren't You Glad We Went Through My Daughter's Sock Drawer?

Middle-aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!

Dunkin' Donuts
University of Rhode Island

And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days

Guy in suit: I said, "It's better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now."

Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island


Overheard by: Jo

One Day He Will Write Lyrics for Christina Aguilera

Dad in locker room, to son: Jake, take your pants off.
Five-year-old son, singing: Take your pants off, do the ducky-ducky.
Dad: Jake!
Five-year-old son: Take your pants off, do the something-something.

Newport Athletic Club
Middletown, Rhode Island


Categories: Clothing | Dads | Default | Gripes | Kids | Music | Rhode Island | Posted 2008-03-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We're Now Almost Certain the Holy Grail Was Actually a Cockring

Theology professor: I can talk about whores and sex with animals... It's in the Bible!

Providence College
Providence, Rhode Island


Overheard by: too busy laughing to take notes


Categories: Education | Rhode Island | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Their Lullabies Are the Stuff of Nightmares

Professor, on possible Nazi allusions in animation: Well, it was a German film, and any time you hear German muttering, it's harsh words and armbands.

Rhode Island School of Design
Rhode Island


Overheard by: Sandro


Categories: Gossip | History | Rhode Island | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Don't Think They Know That

College girl: I'm taking this online Arabic course... Did you know their alphabet is just all, like, smiley faces?

Providence, Rhode Island


Categories: Bimbettes | Language barrier | Rhode Island | Posted 2007-11-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Of Course, They Also Don't Sleep with You

Lesbian: True friends don't believe you have STDs!

Energy-Alternative club
Providence, Rhode Island


Overheard by: Christine


Categories: Lesbos | Rhode Island | STDs | Posted 2007-11-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Geez, I Hope He Means "Pissing Out His Ass"

Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn't happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad...

Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island


Overheard by: Ang


Categories: Poop | Rhode Island | Teens | Posted 2007-09-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Maybe It's Time to Invent Fig Leaves

Drunk frat boy: Shiiit, I'm God! I'm God, and I've seen so much asscrack!

Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island


Categories: Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Rhode Island | Posted 2007-07-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook