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Trust Me-- I Know My Teletubbies
Guy on cell: I told you... the orange ones are hermaphroditic and the purple ones are sterile.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: piruqsiviliriji
Categories: Default | Guys | On the phone | Oregon | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Sure Your Vagina Is Purple for a Pefectly Innocuous Reason
Guy: Well, do you have lots of unprotected sex with anonymous men?
Girl: I don't think so.
Guy: (pause) Well, you're probably safe then.
Southern Oregon University
Overheard by: Kayli
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Oregon | Questions | STDs | Sex | Posted 2008-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Partner, Paul, Is As Dumbfounded As I Am
Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I'm having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he's not my Dad
...When Sinking Your Opponent's Battleship
Teenage to friends: My dad says it's only gay if you make eye contact.
Lacomb, Oregon
Overheard by: lalenalynn
Categories: Body parts | Default | Friends | Oregon | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Assume That Means a General Lack of Randiness
Girl: What about her? She's cute.
Guy: Yeah... but her boobs are small.
Girl: What's wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They're... not... big.
Restaurant, Oregon
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Oregon | Questions | Restaurants | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well Obviously
Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Well He Was French
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can't let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]
Philosophy professor: It's not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Even We Winced at This One
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes...
Man #2: Oh, dude, I'm gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn't mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
Your Editors Are Still Giggling about "Beaverton"
Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I'll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I'll be the owner.
Little girl: Don't even *think* about it!
Beaverton, Oregon
Here, Have Some Incense and Peppermints
Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It's not good for you.
Eugene, Oregon
And She Washes and Folds My Spiderman Underwear
Dude: It's not that I live with my mom, it's that my mom is my roommate...
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Sarah
And That One Didn't Measure Up to My Standards
Chick #1: Ewww!
Chick #2: It wasn't me! I take responsibility for all of my actions, including farts.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: martin
Categories: Airports & flights | Burping & farting | Default | Girls | Gripes | Oregon | Posted 2008-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good Thing "Shut Up, You Cow" Is Easy to Convey with Body Language
Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I'm bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I'm bleeding from my neck! Don't you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn't speak English before I married you!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: corwin
Categories: Airports & flights | Assholes | Default | Fat people | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Language barrier | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Women | Posted 2008-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anyone Who's Seen Se7en?
Student: Who doesn't want to blow up a fat man before they die?
Ethics class, Oregon State University
Corvallis, Oregon
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Diet & weight | Oregon | Questions | Students | Violence | Posted 2008-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Used to Think It Was Sad, but Now I Can Laugh about It
Dude: I may be bipolar, but she's fucking crazy!
650 NE Holladay Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Too Many Papercuts
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | Mental illnesses | Oregon | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Trust Skinny People with Your Food
Skinny guy #1: I'm thinking our restaurant should have, like, taxidermied animals and tomato plants and stuff.
Skinny guy #2: Way cool!
Skinny guy #1: That way it could be like a museum of natural history full of the things people are eating, living or dead.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Airports & flights | Animals | Default | Food | Guys | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Skinny people | Wishes | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do You Always Have to Add That?
Guy #1, leaving the bar: I'll see you later.
Guy #2, still nursing his drink: Yeah, if I don't die first.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: molly
Categories: Airports & flights | Comebacks | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Oregon | Overheard in PDX | Time Management | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Like to Give It the Appearance of Fullness
Hot Asian girl to friend: Well, it was great talking to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stick a wad of cotton in my vagina.
Oregon State University
Corvallis, Oregon
Categories: Asians | Health & Hygiene | Oregon | Posted 2008-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Your Father Needs More Encouragement to Be Flatulent
Little boy: Mommy! I want to get my daddy this card!
Mother: But honey, you don't know what that means.
Little boy: Yes, I do! I do!
Mother: Okay, what does it mean?
Little boy: Pull my finger. It means... pull my finger! That's what you do, right? You pull the monkey's finger.
Mother: Um... Honey, you don't know what that means. Here, why don't you give Daddy this other card instead?
Little boy, crying: No! I do know what it means. I want to get my daddy this card! He would like it!
Mother, sighing: Okay, fine... But you don't know what it means.
Little boy, happily: My daddy is really going to like this card! I just know it!
Fred Meyer
Springfield, Oregon
B-R-I-T-N-E-Y
Little boy #1, reading flap on trash can: T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U spells... um... Garbage!
Little boy #2, hitting boy #1: No, you dummy! Garbage starts with a 'B'!
Burger King
Grants Pass, Oregon
But I'm Willing to Share
Three-year-old girl, cheerily scratching at rash: I have excema!
Crowded train
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggs
Categories: Maladies | Oregon | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Nice Change from My Standard Rape-Murder Fantasy
Awkward guy to girl: Sometimes I pretend you are my child... And man, are you cute!
Eugene, Oregon
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | Oregon | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Avoid Any Unseemly Sexual Desire
Man: Yeah, we're getting married as soon as she gets her ovaries removed.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Steve
Categories: Body parts | Gossip | Guys | Oregon | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks to the Child Labor Laws
Little boy running from price scanner: Mom, my hand's not for sale!
Target, 2255 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Miranda
You'll Forget All about What You Wore in the '80s
Jovial woman on cell: So, when the Alzheimer's sets in, this'll all work out for you in the end!
Grocery store
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggson
Categories: Happiness | On the phone | Oregon | Posted 2007-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Not Even My Real Mom -- She Won Me in a Poker Game
Six-year-old soccer player #1: It's about having fun! It's not all about winning.
Six-year-old soccer player #2: My mom says it is.
Lincoln City, Oregon
Even Hallucinations Need Veterinary Care
Hobo holding up stuffed glove: ... And now the mitten is having babies... And the liquid is starting to come out...
Ashland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karrie
But Otherwise Quite Civilized
Dude: Is it okay if I bring her to the party this evening? She's a Republican.
Bookstore
Florence, Oregon
Or Swaying Slightly Until I'm Fatigued
Fat guy wearing velour muumuu top: I don't have a wife or kids to support, so I don't feel a burning need to earn an income. I can focus on what feels healthy, what makes me happy... Like dancing.
Coffee shop
Portland, Oregon
Categories: Fat people | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're the Worst Math Teacher Ever
Latina: You ride me too hard! You hurt my vagina bone muscle.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: Inside thought...
How We Feel about Everything West of New York
Man to wife, thoughtfully: Everything south of San Francisco could just... just fall into the water, and it wouldn't really matter.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Catherine
To Me It's Just Another Thing I Have to Clean
Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh... No...
Dude: Seriously? To me that's like... like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, 'I'm going to tip that shit over.'
Eugene, Oregon
Categories: Girls | Gripes | Guys | Masturbation | Oregon | Time Management | Posted 2007-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So He Sends Other Stones to Fight in Iraq
Bitter guy: Men and women are like stones in a river that lived next to each other for a long time... But one of the stones is a stupid confused idiot who doesn't ever want to be happy or for any stones anywhere to be freaking happy.
Eugene, Oregon
Quite The Contrary
Hoochie to another: Just because you're a slut doesn't mean you have dibbs!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Hoochies | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hanes Put Me through Grad School
Girl to friend: Yeah, the few times I've sold my underwear it was always the cheapest pair that sold for the most.
NW 23rd Avenue
Portland, Oregon
I Leave the Details to My Subordinates
Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!
1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: really?
Categories: North America | On the phone | Oregon | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Give Your Brother CPR While I Call an Ambulance
Mom to daughter: See? That's why we don't laugh in this family -- you go and suffocate on your own vomit!
Portland, Oregon
They Told Him to Burn Things
Teen girl: He was lying on my boobs and he said he could hear them talking.
Salem Center Mall
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Tess Miller
