Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Places | North America | USA

In Totally Unrelated News, Which Of You Left an Earring in My Carpet Last Night?

Biology prof: So the dinosaurs were eating all the iridium poisoned plants, and dying of drug overdoses. That's why you find them in all these weird positions, they were having bad trips and just... dying.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Danielle

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Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family

Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!

Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Amred

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Is That a Baby Bird in Your Bangs?

30-something #1: Last night I was brushing my hair, cause you know I haven't owned a hair brush in a year... And all these sticks and grass and dirt kept falling out.
30-something #2: You are a dirty hippie, you need to use some soap!
30-something #1: I don't like labels, man. I don't have soap.
30-something #2: True, man, labels are whack. But dude, you smell.

Hostel
New Mexico

Overheard by: Alex

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...Ooo, There's That Smell Again!

Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.

College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico

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Does That Explain Your Face-Condom?

College girl #1: Makeup is like a sock for your face: it covers it, but doesn't really protect it.
College girl #2: Wow... That's deep.

New Mexico

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Featuring a Bottomless Cup Of Coffee

Girl: Yeah, I work at Show Me's. It's like Hooters, only sluttier.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

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Then My Crush Only Increased.

Ten-year old girl #1: He was pretty cute.
Ten-year old girl #2: I know! I had the biggest crush on him in third grade... until he died.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Overheard by: Wait. What?

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Isn't That an Old Irish Drinking Song?

Neal Patrick Harris lookalike: Okay, okay: no pickle dicks on Molly!

Albuquerque, New Mexico

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What Are You Doing in Albuquerque, Then?

Security officer, pulling out fingernail clippers from carry-on: Sir, what are your intentions with these?
Man in line, deadpan: To take over the world.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Zombie

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That String Bikini Really Brings Out Your Eyes

Boy: I feel naked.
(long awkward pause)
Girl: I'm glad you're not.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Molly, LQTM

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I Told My Dad It Was a Sports Injury. He's Never Been Prouder.

Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!

Starbucks
New Mexico

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Talk Amongst Yourselves

Math professor, taking baby steps across the front of the room: Infinity is waaay over there. It's gonna take me awhile to get there.

Southern Methodist University
Taos, New Mexico

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Smells Like He Needs a Bath

Teenage girl: God is in every queef.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

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You'll Need a Mental Enema First

Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.

UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: klutch

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It Kind of Unloaded on Us, If You Follow Me

Religious nut: Go back to the kitchen!
Gay girl #1: We do it in the kitchen!
Gay girl #2: Oh yeah. That's the day we realized our dishwasher had wheels.

Pride Parade
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Cade

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And Acquisitive

17-year-old boy: Geez, Angelina Jolie adopted another kid?
13-year-old boy: Why, how many does she have now?
17-year-old boy: I think, like, four.
13-year-old boy: Wow! She's fertile!

Alamogordo, New Mexico

Overheard by: DeeRock

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But What's Better Than Being Desired by Men You Despise?

Girl with glasses: Yeah, so ever since I got these glasses hipster guys keep hitting on me.
Friend: So? What's wrong with hipster guys?
Girl with glasses: Eh, nothing really. It's just, you know, you're living in Albuquerque -- how hip can you be?

Albuquerque, New Mexico

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