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No Sword Fights in the Library, Dude
Computer nerd on laptop: See that walking cucumber over there? (pause) Yeah, well, I have a magic sword!
Dartmouth College Library
New Hampshire
Overheard by: Madeleine
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Food | Magic | New Hampshire | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Santa Sure Has Changed Over the Years.
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Categories: Animals | Compliments | Friends | Girls | New Hampshire | Sexuality | Smoking | Posted 2011-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All You Need Is a Duffel Bag
Woman to coworker: You'd think if they were going to decapitate someone they wouldn't hide the evidence in their rear window.
West Lebanon, New Hampshire
Categories: Coworkers | Crimes | Murder | New Hampshire | Weirdness | Posted 2010-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hard Is That?
Old woman, yelling: Did you remember to put Viagra on the list?
Old man, yelling, very annoyed: Of course I did!
Old woman, yelling: Well, I don't know! You forgot to put milk on the list!
Mall
New Hampshire
Categories: Food | Health & Hygiene | Malls | New Hampshire | Old folks | Posted 2010-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With a Bastard Vampire Baby
Mom to daughter in Team Edward t-shirt: If you were taking your pill in the first place, you wouldn't be pregnant right now.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: let me kick her in the stomach
Categories: Moms | New Hampshire | Parenting | Preggers | Pregnancy | Posted 2010-02-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Now You Pay Attention?
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won't work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won't work, you'd think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm... Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
Categories: Education | Gripes | Grumpies | Insults | Kids | New Hampshire | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Technology | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Want Me to Divorce You, Too?
Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um... no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!
Salem, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jenna
Categories: Family ties | Kids | Moms | Money | New Hampshire | Parenting | Questions | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Toys | Posted 2010-01-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Last Time I Messed Up the Order and Ruined the Whole Thing.
Wannabe thug, carrying Celtics flag: First I'm gonna get blood on it, and then ash!
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Categories: New Hampshire | Threats | Thugs | Violence | Posted 2009-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Ironic, Since I'm Only Thirteen.
Girl: I would fuck the diction out of Chris Hansen.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: About celebrities | Girls | Gripes | Insults | New Hampshire | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight, on The Little Girls Next Door...
Little boy walking with two little girls: I think we should all hold hands. I think that I should be in the middle so you can both hold my hand.
Keene, New Hampshire
Categories: Hands | Kids | Kids | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Posted 2009-11-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
New Teen Slang for "It's Radical!"
Student #1, viewing political cartoons of Egypt: There's a face on that rock!
Student #2: Because it's the sphynx!
New Hampshire
Categories: History | New Hampshire | Pop culture | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...For Her Birthday.
Girl #1: I used to be really good friends with her, but then we got in a fight.
Girl #2: How come?
Girl #1: Well, I gave her lice.
Rockingham Mall
Salem, New Hampshire
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Malls | New Hampshire | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2009-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nag, Nag, Nag. Jesus.
Girl to roommate guy: You should really clean the blood out of your clown shoes.
Colby-Sawyer College Dorm
New London, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jess
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | New Hampshire | Shoes | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper
Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!
Hooksett, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Evee
Categories: Death & dying | Default | Guys | Kids | Kids | New Hampshire | Words | Posted 2009-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Give Me Back Those Quarters.
Dad to son: I don't need to pay someone 50 cents to tell me that I'm overweight.
Pheasant Lane Mall, New Hampshire
Categories: Dads | Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Malls | Money | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Posted 2009-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...If You Know What I Mean...
Student to friend: When she painted the banana, or vice-versa.
Colby-Sawyer College
New Hampshire
Overheard by: J.McC
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Fruit | New Hampshire | Students | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet New Hampshire's Ski Mom Of the Year
Mother to crying toddler: Shut your mouth and go ski somewhere!
Bear Peak, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Leigh
...of Color
Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.
Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Categories: Default | Employees | Food | Names | New Hampshire | Old folks | Politics | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2009-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Two Great Tastes That Taste HorribleTogether
Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry... My english...it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks...I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
Categories: Couples | Default | Girls | Guys | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Porn | Sexuality | Teens | Words | Posted 2008-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As You'd Know If You Ever Watched TV With Me
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.
Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: jefe
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Death & dying | Default | Kids | Kids | Moms | Murder | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Parenting | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Get Into My Van, and We'll Discuss It There
Single mom to four-year-old son: Will you just stop being a cupcake and go ask him?
Four-year-old (sighing, then approaching a man nearby): Excuse me? Do you think my mom is pretty?
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Taylor
Categories: Beauty | Default | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Kids | Moms | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Limbo Bar Might As Well Have Been a Phallus
Professor: This weekend I went to a new restaurant that had a bar. It was interesting to see how the new generation dances these days.
Student: What's weird about dancing?
Professor: In my day we would have called that rape.
UNH
Durham, New Hampshire
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Default | Memory lane | New Hampshire | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now We Know Why Seat Belts Are Necessary
Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Food | Guys | New Hampshire | Questions | Posted 2008-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Always Calling Them Fat and Poking at Their Thighs
Girl, pointing at KFC: Don't eat there. They're mean to the chickens.
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Really?
Categories: Animals | Default | Girls | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Violence | Posted 2008-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Portrait of the Social Worker As a Young Girl
Eight-year-old girl standing on shopping carriage to mother 15 feet away: Do not leave your child unattended! (slight pause) Mom! Get over here!
Wal-Mart
Seabrook, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: Default | Girls | Gripes | Kids | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Parenting | Stores | Posted 2008-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest Roommate Ever
Loud man: ...and he wakes me up at night licking my eyelids!
Siam Orchid
Manchester, New Hampshire
Categories: Body parts | Default | Guys | New Hampshire | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Can Keep Blaming the Terrorists If You'd Like
Girl to boyfriend: Like, I think it has more to do with you being on crack more than anything.
Baker Library
Dartmouth College, New Hampshire
Overheard by: you think?
Categories: Default | Drugs | Girls | New Hampshire | Posted 2008-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Me and My Husband in Koala Suits
Teacher: So, the koala bears are pretty much high all of the time. They fall off the trees. I have videos!
High School
Londonderry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: humanities student
Categories: Animals | Default | Drugs | Education | New Hampshire | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2008-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Succubi Are Surprisingly Good Mothers, Considering
Small boy: [Runs up to his mother and hugs her around the waist.] Don't take my soul!
Macy's
Salem, New Hampshire
Categories: Fears | Guys | Kids | Kids | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Stores | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Than of Ever Tanning without Burning
Suit: Yeah, right, I've got a better chance of shaking hands with the Lord... And I'm a Jew.
Keene, New Hampshire
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | New Hampshire | Religion | Suits | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Without Your Wife Being All, "I'm Divorcing You"
Professor: Children aren't property -- you can't just throw them in a blender.
Philosophy class, University of New Hampshire
Durham, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Shadowsurfr1
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Kids | New Hampshire | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I, on the Other Hand, Can Wait Indefinitely
Goth girl 1: Oooh, and I am just waiting to give you herpes. I can't wait!
Goth girl 2: ... Um...
Starbucks, Ashbrook Road
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: macchiato junkie
Categories: Goths | New Hampshire | STDs | Posted 2008-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Especially Enjoy the Blue Ones
Hyperactive camper: Oh, boy, my favorite -- milk and cookies and pills!
Overnight camp
Wolfeboro, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Counselor Lou
Categories: Happiness | Kids | New Hampshire | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Did She Swallow That?
Sophomore guy #1: She got pissy that I didn't want to talk to her anymore.
Sophomore guy #2: What did you do?
Sophomore guy #1: I told her, 'I have pressing GPA issues to worry about and can't be concerned with whether or not you are going to be giving me head.'
Dartmouth College
Hanover, New Hampshire
Overheard by: steph
Categories: Gossip | New Hampshire | Students | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Subtle Wine/Beer Distinction
Preppy girl: Wait, Irish people are from Ireland? I always thought they were from Italy!
Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Lily F.
Categories: New Hampshire | Preppies | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tigers See Right through That Psychobabble
Boy to girl who's just presented her current event: Your shoe is untied.
Female classmate: Way to pay attention!
Boy: You know, I was just trying to be a friend and tell her so she doesn't trip and fall or something.
Female classmate: Freud would say otherwise.
Teacher: Freud would say otherwise.
Boy: Yeah, yeah.
Teacher: Do you even know who Freud is?
Boy: Yeah, yeah, the big white tigers -- I get it.
Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Lily F.
Categories: New Hampshire | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until You Can Eat Them Inside the Lines
Russian mother to young daughter: No, you are not going to eat crayons for lunch!
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Crayola
Categories: Food | Moms | New Hampshire | Posted 2007-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
