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Have the Last Name "Spears"
Four-year-old kid, pickig up magazine: Hey, Dad, it's Britney Spears!
Dad: No, that's Jamie Lynn, her sister.
Four-year-old kid: Ohhh, the pregnant one.
Dad: Yep.
Four-year-old kid: But she's not even an adult!
Dad: You don't have to be an adult to get pregnant.
Four-year-old kid: So then how do you get pregnant?! [Dad puts magazine back.]
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Cortny
Categories: About celebrities | Dads | Default | Family ties | Kids | Nebraska | Pregnancy | Questions | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Until You Find Jesus
Thug: Yeah, right... The sign shouldn't read 'Welcome to Omaha' -- it should read 'Welcome to Omaha... You're gonna get fucking lost.'
Omaha, Nebraska
Bed, Bath, and Beat-Offs?
Chick #1: A woman came up to me and said there was a guy beating off into the dress.
Chick #2: Really?!
Chick #1: Sure enough, I walked over and his pants were around his ankles.
Guy passerby: Where the hell do you work?
Omaha, Nebraska
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Masturbation | Nebraska | Posted 2007-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Good? Count Me In!
Annoying mom: Is smoking good or bad?
Five-year-old son: It's bad.
Annoying mom: That's right. And how bad is it? It's like eating everything at the top of the food pyramid.
Clinic lobby
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: joe the xrayguy
Now Available in Pineapple Pus and Sore Apple
20-something to boyfriend: He was like syphilis on a stick!
Omaha, Nebraska
And Over Easy
Guy #1, about super tan waitress: Wow, she's well done. I prefer medium-well.
Guy #2: Yeah, me, too. I like a little pink.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: evh
So It's Not a Chain,Then?
Student #1: ... And this concludes my presentation on Sudan. Are there any questions?
Student #2: Sudan... Is that where that Hotel Rwanda thing happened?
Professor: No, that would be Rwanda.
International Marketing class, University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: Meagan
Everything I Chose to Do to You Is Your Fault
Wife: This is the last chance. I'm really going to file for divorce unless you're willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won't cheat on.
Omaha, Nebraska
