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Have the Last Name "Spears"

Four-year-old kid, pickig up magazine: Hey, Dad, it's Britney Spears!
Dad: No, that's Jamie Lynn, her sister.
Four-year-old kid: Ohhh, the pregnant one.
Dad: Yep.
Four-year-old kid: But she's not even an adult!
Dad: You don't have to be an adult to get pregnant.
Four-year-old kid: So then how do you get pregnant?! [Dad puts magazine back.]

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Cortny


Categories: About celebrities | Dads | Default | Family ties | Kids | Nebraska | Pregnancy | Questions | Posted 2008-02-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... Until You Find Jesus

Thug: Yeah, right... The sign shouldn't read 'Welcome to Omaha' -- it should read 'Welcome to Omaha... You're gonna get fucking lost.'

Omaha, Nebraska


Categories: Gripes | Nebraska | Thugs | Posted 2008-01-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Bed, Bath, and Beat-Offs?

Chick #1: A woman came up to me and said there was a guy beating off into the dress.
Chick #2: Really?!
Chick #1: Sure enough, I walked over and his pants were around his ankles.
Guy passerby: Where the hell do you work?

Omaha, Nebraska


Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Masturbation | Nebraska | Posted 2007-12-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That Good? Count Me In!

Annoying mom: Is smoking good or bad?
Five-year-old son: It's bad.
Annoying mom: That's right. And how bad is it? It's like eating everything at the top of the food pyramid.

Clinic lobby
Omaha, Nebraska


Overheard by: joe the xrayguy


Categories: Kids | Moms | Nebraska | Smoking | Posted 2007-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now Available in Pineapple Pus and Sore Apple

20-something to boyfriend: He was like syphilis on a stick!

Omaha, Nebraska


Categories: Chicks | Nebraska | STDs | Posted 2007-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Over Easy

Guy #1, about super tan waitress: Wow, she's well done. I prefer medium-well.
Guy #2: Yeah, me, too. I like a little pink.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: evh


Categories: Beauty | Guys | Nebraska | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So It's Not a Chain,Then?

Student #1: ... And this concludes my presentation on Sudan. Are there any questions?
Student #2: Sudan... Is that where that Hotel Rwanda thing happened?
Professor: No, that would be Rwanda.

International Marketing class, University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Lincoln, Nebraska


Overheard by: Meagan


Categories: Class | Nebraska | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2007-05-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Everything I Chose to Do to You Is Your Fault

Wife: This is the last chance. I'm really going to file for divorce unless you're willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won't cheat on.

Omaha, Nebraska


Categories: Hubbies | Insults | Nebraska | Threats | Posted 2007-04-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook