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Tyra Banks, During Every Taping Of America's Next Top Model, Encapsulated.
Black professor: Actually, it wasn't neither... Excuse me, I had an Ebonics moment. Please forgive me.
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Categories: Education | Language barrier | Mississippi | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2011-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least in My Case
Female law student #1: You don't have to know that. You can just 69 it.
Female law student #2: Wait... What?
Female law student #1: You know, 69 it. Get rid of it.
Female law student #2: No honey, it's "86" it. That thing you said is something dirty.
Mississippi College School of Law
It Just Pops Out
Law student: She just gets all boner-fied about civil procedure.
Mississippi College School of Law
...And I'm Usually Into 20-Something Honduran Men...
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, "how was it?" He was like, "oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on." And I was like, "what?" He said "yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman."
Mississippi College School of Law
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Erections | Health & Hygiene | Mississippi | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Magic Night Cletus Met Brandine
Male redneck: You can come over, but you can't be shittin' in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously... I like you and all, but I don't know you good enough for you to be stankin' up my bathroom.
(they leave together)
Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?
Categories: Mississippi | Poop | Rednecks | Relationships | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Well, Not Human Bodies.
Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, "Bedbugs?!" It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.
Casino
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: so, where are they?
Categories: Animals | Coworkers | Health & Hygiene | Mississippi | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Political Marriage, Encapsulated.
Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me?
Girlfriend: Yeah...
Boyfriend: That was nice.
Mall
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: good times
Categories: Couples | Feelings | Malls | Mississippi | Questions | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess I Was Absent the Day They Taught That in School
Girl #1: It's like that old saying: abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Girl #2: What?! Abstinence?
Girl #1: You've never heard that? It's like when you don't get any for a while, and then you do, and it's really good? You know, makes you love 'em more.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: it's one in the same
Extra Chunky
20-something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co-worker: What?! What was it?
20-something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: don't ditch health class
Categories: Coworkers | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Mississippi | Pregnancy | Questions | Posted 2009-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Always Wondered What Went on at Those Methodist Schools
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Education | Gripes | Mississippi | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Pole Make Me Look Fat?
Girl in stall: Hi, can you put mom on the phone? (pause) Hey mom, yeah, it's me...next time you're online, go to my Facebook page and check out the pictures of me at the strip club.
Ladies Restroom, Library
Mississippi
Categories: Default | Family ties | Girls | Internet | Mississippi | Offers and requests | Restroom | Posted 2009-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Diet Regimen: A Jerk for Breakfast, a Jerk for Lunch, and a Sensible Breakup
Slightly drunk friend: I hate Valentine's Day!
Slightly drunker friend: Me too. Anyway, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm just going to convince myself that I'm in love with him. That way, when he breaks my heart, I'll drop 20 pounds.
Volta Taverna
Oxford, Mississippi
Overheard by: that's the only diet i know...
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Mississippi | Relationships | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Any Tattoos or Distinguishing Marks?
Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.
News Station
Jackson, Mississippi
Eh, My Sister Does the Same Thing
Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.
University of Mississippi
Categories: Advice | Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Masturbation | Mississippi | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One With a Minimum-Wage Support Staff
Student to college secretary: Have any peppermints?
Receptionist: As in candy?
Student: Yeah. Peppermints.
Receptionist: Um, no?
Student: What kind of a dumb-ass school doesn't have peppermints?!?
University for Women
Mississippi
Overheard by: Megan S.
Categories: Candy | Colleges & Universities | Default | Insults | Mississippi | Questions | Students | Women | Posted 2008-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nice Try-- No Homosexual Calls Himself "Homosexual"
Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
Then It's All: "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk--Got Yer Boobie!"
College girl #1: You laugh a lot during sex, then?
College girl #2: I think you have to laugh during sex. Otherwise it's too solemn. I mean, sex is like: "Oh yeah, oh yeah, queef."
Chinese Restaurant
Columbus, Mississippi
Overheard by: Megan S.
Categories: Default | Feelings | Gender issues | Girls | Mississippi | Restaurants | Sex | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was It a Big Bang?
Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
Categories: About celebrities | Creepsters | Default | Fears | Feelings | Guys | Mississippi | Restaurants | Science | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Think We All Know What Happened with Monica and That Cigar
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Categories: Advice | Black people | Compare and contrast | Education | Euphemisms | Foreigners | Mississippi | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Relax --Not Like He's a Hipster
Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Categories: Body parts | Friends | Girls | Mississippi | Questions | Sexuality | Violence | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, That's How Every Father Feels
20-ish guy: If I have a little girl, I want her to either have the highest moral standards or be ugly as shit.
McCool Hall, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | Guys | Mississippi | Students | Wishes | Posted 2008-02-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Never Knew You Were a Lady
Girl #1: I have to fart. [Girl #2 ignores her.] I have to fart. [Still ignored.] Hellooo!
Girl #2, annoyed: What?
Girl #1: I said I have to fart!
Girl #2, after long pause: Do you want a cookie?
Columbus, Mississippi
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Burping & farting | Chicks | Mississippi | Posted 2007-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, I'm Sure There's Some Sick Fuck Out There
Professor, trying to explain something entirely unrelated to elephants: I mean, no one wants their elephant to explode!
Planetary Geology class, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Overheard by: blondie
Categories: Education | Mississippi | Teachers | Posted 2007-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Anne of Green Gables? Really?
Professor: I guess one lesson we can take from this book is to never slap a Chinese warlord.
20th Century World Novel class, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Overheard by: blondie
Categories: Advice | Mississippi | Teachers | Posted 2007-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hmmm... Ulysses. That Sounds Good.
Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes... So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y'know?
Sorostitute #2: So true...
Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi
Categories: Education | Mississippi | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody Knows God's White and Has No Rhythm
Girl #1: Is that hail?
Girl #2, looking out window: No, it's just some guys stepping.
Girl #1: Oh. I was wondering why the hail had a beat.
Mississippi University for Women
Columbus, Mississippi
Categories: Bimbettes | Mississippi | Weather | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
