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Have I Ever Shown You Your Birthing Video, Sweetie?
Little boy waiting in line with his mom: Mommy, have you ever been ripped apart?
Lane Bryant
St Cloud, Minnesota
Overheard by: Jesi
And You Were Sixteen Going on Seventeen
Girl: I can't believe you've never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn't watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
The Next Cosmo Cover Story
Loud girl on cell: You better start showing me some respect before you start licking my friends' clits!
Perkin's
St Cloud, Minnesota
Overheard by: Jesi
Somewhere There's a Live, Cheerful Half of a Rat, and No One Knows How Heavy He Is
Girl #1: And I was like: "How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?"
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Diet & weight | Friends | Minnesota | Questions | Science | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Always Wanted to Be a Fascist
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
Warthogs! Cabbages! Pokemon!
Professor: So, what are most songs written about?
Student #1: Apple bottom jeans?
Student #2: Boots with the fur?
School of Environmental Studies
Minnesota
I Thought There Was Just Solid, Liquid, and Gas?
Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There's a state called Mankato?!
University of Minnesota, Minnesota
Rain on Your Wedding Day, for Instance, Is Just Good Luck
[At computer lab.]
Student #1: Try looking up "irony-", that might work.
Student #2: Irony isn't even a word, idiot.
Royalton, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lynn
Graduation Is Such a Sausagefest
Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he's just teaching there for the kielbasa.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Food | Friends | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Minnesota | Offers and requests | Penis | Words | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Looks Who's Talking, Mister "The-Pirate-Movie-Was-Rated-Arrr"
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He's a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]
Guy #2: I haven't seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
"Take, Eat, This Is My Body" Would Actually Work As a Pick-Up Line
Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drunks | Frat boy types | Guys | Jesus | Minnesota | Students | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Those Murdered Tomatoes...
College guy: I like salsa, but it makes me sad.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dancing | Feelings | Guys | Minnesota | Music | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the New FBI Thriller Silence Of the Shams
Girl #1: You can't just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!
Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: isa
Categories: Body parts | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Minnesota | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Ward Was Out of Town, June Left Beaver with Wally and Went Barhopping
Guy: So, what do you do?
Woman: Well, I'm actually a homemaker.
Guy: ... Oh! So you're, like, in construction? That's cool.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: DRB
His G-String with the Elephant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn't even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: also not surprised
So If You See Me Twitch, Clutch, or Froth, Lend a Hand, Okay?
Flight attendant to another: I don't mean to alarm you, but last night I went into cardiac arrest.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Flight attendants | Health & Hygiene | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About Spiral Notebooks!
Young girl, spraying perfume: These smell yucky. Who actually buys these, Mom?
Mom: Put those down. Those are for prostitutes.
Macy's
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: ChasingDori
Might As Well Have Said, "He Has a 5-Inch Penis and a Job at Foot Locker"
Girl #1: I think he's a nice guy.
Girl #2: Nice is the ultimate mediocrity.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: girl in scrubs
Categories: Comebacks | Compliments | Default | Girls | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Don't Like the Way the Air Is Looking at Me
Sorority girl: I just hate water... It hates me back.
Dinkytown
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Karolyn
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Minnesota | Sorority types | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wish I Had Somebody Who Cared Enough to Abuse Me
Bimbette #1: ... So, after he called in to quit for me, I'm sure everyone was like, 'He must be one of those, like, abusive boyfriends who won't let her work!'
Bimbette #2: That'd be okay, though.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: an invisible fiend
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | Gossip | Gripes | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and Getting Highlights
Drunk lady: So, like, I haven't been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn't that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You're serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don't think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It's my New Year's resolution.
St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aayin
Categories: Death & dying | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Minnesota | Women | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know Which Kind of "Special" Your Kid Is
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik's Cube. He'd probably eat it.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik's cubes
More Organized Than "We," Grammar Slob
Little boy: Mommy, why do they have Halloween candy out already?
Mother: That's for people who are more organized than us.
Rochester, Minnesota
They Can't Bite Me
Huge guy waving Bud Light bottle at old Native American lady: There's a reason I like ladies without any teeth.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Categories: Body parts | Bragging | Jerks | Minnesota | Posted 2008-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't You Pull 'em Back Up into Your Abdomen?
Teen boy, jokingly: So, yeah -- I was thinking about getting my testicles removed, so that way no one can kick me there anymore.
Teen girl, mortified: No, don't! You need one to live!
Fairfax, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amused friend
I Won't Dignify That with a Witty Retort
Lost woman: Excuse me, can you tell me what state I'm in?
Mall of America
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: ugh...tourists
Milkshakes Bring Out the Worst in Him
Little kid #1: No, Daddy would never swear!
Little kid #2: Yeah, he does -- when he drinks!
Dairy Queen
Roseau, Minnesota
Overheard by: jo
Which End Is He Interested In?
Cute lab tech guy: So, to take a stool sample, take this stick and smear it in here.
Hot girl patient: I have to smush it?
Cute lab tech guy: Yep, like that. So, do you have a boyfriend?
Park Nicolette Clinic
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Categories: Creepsters | Minnesota | Poop | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Should We High-Five?
Chick to friend, pointing at a building: That's where I killed my baby!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
I Want to Stay Down -- Like George Michael
Small boy, dancing and singing: Wake me up before you go-go, I don't ever wanna be a yo-yo!
Hallmark store
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Minnesota | Music | Posted 2007-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not If That Requires Fucking
Chick: I just don't want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?
Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota
Categories: Couples | Minnesota | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know, a Pot -- Like Madonna In "Lucky Star"
Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.
Minnesota
Categories: Body parts | Creepsters | Minnesota | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Just Get a Room This Time, Okay?
Hot chick: I was too tired for a layover in Denver! It's not like you'd let me nap -- we'd just end up fucking in the airport bathroom for five hours. Wait! If Denver's the Mile High City, do you think bathroom sex can count us into the Mile High Club? Oh my god, I am changing my flight -- Cleveland can wait. Cock is so much more important.
Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Wishing I was the dude in Denver
Categories: Airports & flights | Chicks | Minnesota | Sex | Posted 2007-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Will Accept That As a Promissory Note
Hipster girl: Don't you dare lick me!
Hipster boy: [Licks her.]
Hipster girl: I love you.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
But Then the Manager of the Baskin-Robbins Found Out and I Got Fired
Teen girl on cell: Yeah, I couldn't stop putting my tongue in them for, like, two months.
St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Anna
Categories: Gossip | Minnesota | On the phone | Posted 2007-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smart and Beautiful -- I'm a Lucky Man
Dude: What are some words that rhyme with 'chicken'?
Chick: Frickin', lickin', hair.
Dude: 'Hair' doesn't rhyme with 'chicken'!
Chick: Yeah, it does -- chicken, hair; chicken, hair.
Dude: Yeah, I guess it kind of does.
Metro bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Notice: Headline Delayed Due to Vomit on Keyboard
Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.
Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota
And I Have the Trophies to Back That Up
Girl in front: Hey! I can shoot a cat as well as the next girl!
Normandale Community College
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: who questions that ability??
It's in the Fridge with the Pizza
Chick: Hey, want some pizza?
Hobo: Sure!
Chick: It's cold, but it's still pizza.
Hobo: What?! Cold pizza? Who eats cold pizza? I ain't never heard anything like that in my life. No, I don't want any of your crack-ass pizza.
Chick: Hey, you're homeless! You're not supposed to be picky.
Hobo: I bet you have a tight pussy.
W 9th Street and LaSalle Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: izz-ay
I Guess You Could, Like, Help Stop the Burning
Bimbette #1: I would love to be a fireman! You work, like, three days a week, and when you're there you can just, like, sit and watch the news until the fire alarm goes off!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, but you'd have to watch people's houses burn down.
Bimbette #1: Yeah... That'd be, like, really depressing.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Categories: Bimbettes | Jobs & Careers | Minnesota | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
