Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Massachusetts All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Massachusetts
Recent | Best Of
Just As Long As I Get the Obligatory Milkbone
Girl: Well, the sad thing is I'm gonna have to treat you like Morgan when she doesn't want to take her ear infection pills.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Massachusetts | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was He on Dancing with the Stars?
Girl: Wait, who's Hitler?
Guy: Are you serious?
Girl: I don't watch a lot of tv...
Peabody, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Guys | History | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2011-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was That a Racial Slur?
Stoned girl #1, eating mint cookie: This tastes like Oreos.
Stoned girl #2: This isn't Oreos! It's... Oxford Creme cookie.
Stoned girl #1: Sounds like a pretentious Oreo to me.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curly
The Original Screenplay for Waiting to Exhale Left Something to Be Desired
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo' sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Gays | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Smoking | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Wouldn't Pot Be Microwaveable?
Crazy old woman to teenagers: I just learned something today. The Native Americans had microwaveable pot!
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Categories: Education | History | Massachusetts | Technology | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"The Literature Of Drug Prescriptions" Was a Popular Course at UMass
Guy: I can't tell if he's being poetically ambiguous or if he just has really bad handwriting.
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
Categories: Character | Compliments | Guys | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's So 1995.
Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant's penis!
Concord, Massachusetts
Categories: About celebrities | Family ties | Massachusetts | Penis | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Okay, Love You Too. Bye, Mom.
Loud woman on phone: Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? (pause) You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid... (keeps repeating it)
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess That Has Its Positives and Negatives.
Blonde 8th grade girl, reading poster about sex offenders: He assaulted her with a battery?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay loves julia
The Song?
Sorostitute: Like, ohmigod, Africa is like so cute!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Feelings | Geography | Massachusetts | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And They Have Cats
Female student #1: Can you ride me piggyback after class?
Female student #2: Can *he* ride *you* after class?
Female student #1, giggling: That's not what I meant!
Male student: Wait, don't you have, like, 20 cats?
Female student #1: (slaps him)
Female student #2: You do have a lot of cats...
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Categories: Animals | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Sex | Students | Posted 2011-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Thought You Said Your Family Was Functional?
Math professor #1: Don't derive like my brother.
Math professor #2: No, don't derive like my brother!
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Categories: Advice | Education | Family ties | Massachusetts | Teachers | Posted 2011-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Have to Ask Me That with Your Top Off?
Girl to friends, on third night of semester: Wouldn't you want to have sex the second night back?
Fitchburg State University
Fitchburg, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Questions | Sex | Posted 2011-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Take It Down If Either Of You Ever Wants a Job
Girl #1 on Facebook: And then I gave my mom a lap dance.
Girl #2, looking at pictures: It looks like she was enjoying it.
UMass
Dartmouth, Massachusetts
Categories: Dancing | Family ties | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
First Time in Massachusetts, Sweetie?
Black girl, after seeing renaissance a cappella group rehearsing: White people be doing the most ridiculous things! No offense...
Williams College
Williamstown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: None taken
Categories: Black people | Girls | Massachusetts | Music | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When I Thought You Couldn't Get Any Fruitier, Buddy.
Pizza delivery guy, singing, with a handful of Froot Loops: Frooooooot loooooops!
Later, coming out of building: Everybody loves Froooooot Looooooooooops!
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: chromathegreat
Categories: Character | Employees | Massachusetts | Singing | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Advertised As Used Bicycles
Cab driver, ending phone call: That's why you never marry a chick that'll swallow for an extra $20. Can't believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | BJs | Massachusetts | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2011-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Things Nobody Else Tells You, Dear Reader
Man to friend: I think the worst part about this whole cancer thing is that his smell has changed.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Friends | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Categories: Birds | Gripes | Massachusetts | Masturbation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now What Makes It Cold?
Teen girl to friend: It's called "iced tea." It tastes like tea, but it's cold.
Green Line Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rob
Categories: Diet & weight | Girls | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Words | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Best First Date I've Had in a Good Long While
Girl: And then he asked if I had dingleberries, and I was like, "no," and then I said "but my cat does."
UMASS
Massachusetts
Categories: Ass | Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Posted 2010-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Strawberry Shortcake and the Purple Pieman Never Quite Saw Eye-to-eye
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: I don't have change, but I do have this muffin.
Hobo: Can't buy no weed with a muffin!
Boston, Massachusetts
In Cambridge? Perish the Thought.
Girl to friend: We're under a bridge! I feel like a crack dealer.
Midsummer Common
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anti-Math
We Suspect Richard Simmons Is Gathering Strength Somewhere, Waiting for His Next Moment.
Physical therapy student: So he's gotten a *lot* more fit in the last 300 years, right?
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Categories: Beauty | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Agent's Grooming Me for Beverly Hills Begging
Beggar #1: Spare change?
Beggar #2: Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.
Beggar #1: I just got back from California.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Holidays | Homeless | Massachusetts | Money | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: Top That, Motherfucker!
Amherst girl to Dartmouth guy, discussing Hillel dinners at Harvard: I turned down a position at Massachusetts General Hospital because they don't have squash courts.
Commuter Rail Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Doctors | Health & Hygiene | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Make the Solution Come to You
Nursing lab instructor: You don't go down when you're suctioning.
College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Categories: Advice | Maladies | Massachusetts | Nurses | Words | Posted 2010-11-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Just Drew a Bunch Of Unicorns on the Test Paper and Handed It In
Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ginger
Categories: Education | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Stupidity | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Preschool Teacher. Ever.
Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Massachusetts | On the phone | Preppies | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is This Quote Culinary Erotica? Discuss.
Girl #1: I don't know if I want cookie dough, I'd rather make cookies.
Girl #2: Oh, man. It's totally carnal, the things I wanna do to that cookie dough. I want it on my face.
(five minutes later)
Girl #1: Okay, I want some cookie dough.
Girl #2: I thought you didn't want any!
Girl #1: You gave such a rave review of the cookie dough on your face that I entertained the possibility that I, too, might want it on my face.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Trust Only Gay Men
Woman with three young daughters: Okay girls, we're spies... On the search for sparkly heels. Look everywhere!
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Parenting | Shoes | Posted 2010-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like I Did That Time You Asked Me Out
Emo kid: Old people see me on the street with my bright pink hair and my studded collar and my eyeliner, and they hate me!
Girl: If I was old and I saw you, I would just laugh.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Categories: Age and ageing | Fashion | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Hair | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of the Perils Of Being Raised on AIM
Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shifty
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | Names | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Mel Gibson Pegged.
Suit: I assume he's sitting in his backyard in a loincloth right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Massachusetts | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Bad Ones
Lazy construction worker: Watch out, that stuff is hot!
Busy construction worker: It's okay, my fingers are used to the heat. I used to have habits.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kendra
Categories: Body parts | Construction workers | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Straight Guys Totally Understand Why Girls Like Girls
Short skinny emo girl: I'm half gay.
Preppy dude walking by: There is so much to say there, so much to say.
Natick, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Un-gay friend.
Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Preppies | Sexuality | Skinny people | Posted 2010-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Still Think The Bachelor Can't Get Any Worse?
Guy on crutches: I have nothing to offer a woman. It's like, "hey! I live at the homeless shelter, wanna go on a fucking date?"
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Libby
Categories: Bonding | Guys | Massachusetts | Money | Offers and requests | Posted 2010-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...What's Next-- You Gonna Audit Me?
Drunk girl stumbling outside bar, dropping purse and chasing after boyfriend: You are the ruiner of fun.
Provincetown, Massachusetts
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Comebacks | Couples | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Massachusetts | Relationships | Posted 2010-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What Everyone Says. And Everyone Lies.
Woman: I'd rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MarthaQ
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Massachusetts | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody Respects a Gentleman Bandit
Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, "hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you." (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S.m. Torres
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Etiquette | Massachusetts | Murder | Students | Teachers | Threats | Posted 2010-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But With Bottled Water
Male college student, about 30-town boil water order: I feel like I'm in Mad Max!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jean
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | Massachusetts | Movies | Students | Posted 2010-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...In the Immortal Words Of Jack Kerouac
Old lady: I have a roof over me and clothes on my back, but I can't wash my box...
Lowell, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad I wasn't sitting next to her
Categories: Cleanliness | Clothes | Massachusetts | Old folks | Vagina | Posted 2010-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cooool...
Clueless dude on tiny bike: So... What are you?
Cute racially ambiguous girl: What am I? Like what race am I?
Dude: Uh, yeah.
Girl: What kind of question is that?! Is that how you talk to girls? I'm an alien, okay? I'm from Mars!
Boston, Massachusetts
Mrs. Clinton's a Superb Secretary Of State
Hobo in track suit, shouting into cell: Why? Because she has no goddamn boundaries!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Keeps Me from Biting Myself
Teacher, about Thoreau: Who's heard about the cone of silence?
Kid: I know about the cone of shame!
Concord Museum
Concord, Massachusetts
Categories: Education | Kids | Massachusetts | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2010-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...You're in for One Miserable Ride.
Angry girl to group of male friends: You can sleep with my mother, you can kill my father, you can burn down my house, but if you fuck with my bike...
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Veli Velo
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Massachusetts | Murder | Sex | Violence | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Raise Your Hand If You See Nothing Wrong with This Logic
Old Scottish professor in mid lecture: There happened to be something wrong with the quality of the product from the plant in Belgium, and the company response was: "well, of course you're getting sick, you live in Belgium. What a stupid place to live."
Medford, Massachusetts
SpongeBob? Absolutely.
Ghetto girl on phone, angrily: Yeah, well, I bet he's just lollygagging somewhere with his grandma!
22 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Time Management | Posted 2010-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kirk Cameron: "No."
Student in library: Could you forget that Jesus died for your sins for like five minutes?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Jesus | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Students | Posted 2010-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Know, Eminem.
30-something guy: I can't speak English, but my prose is fuckin' smooth.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hb
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Language barrier | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Slang for "Gays," You Bigot?
Large female tourist in plaid bermuda shorts: You know what's wrong with California? Too many windows!
Quincy Market
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Categories: Fat people | Massachusetts | Questions | Stupidity | Tourists | Posted 2010-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What With Original Sin and So Forth
Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Dads | Family | Fears | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Parenting | Posted 2010-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of Your Editors Is Wearing a Cheers Sweatshirt-- True Story.
Guy to cab driver: I just want to go where nobody knows my name.
Cab driver: You mean Cheers, "where everybody knows your name"?
Guy: No.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Airports & flights | Conductors | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Tale As Old As Time...
Father to teen daughter: We've got the rubber suits, but we're out of talcum powder!
Concord, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emma W.
Categories: Cleanliness | Clothes | Dads | Massachusetts | Teens | Posted 2010-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Minus the Herpes
Tall, redhead girl: I'm worried that people are getting a little too comfortable being pantless around me.
Petite, indian girl: I wish I was you...
Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gangsta Stackable
College kid #1: You know what would be tight? If we got some of those plastic containers from Ikea.
College kid #2: Oh yeah, that shit's stackable, yo.
Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | Train | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Some Top-Drawer Fucking Right There
TA: I fucked that little guy from my class again. But I left a drawer in my desk open. He found a Sudafed and I came.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Getting off | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2010-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Need To-- Ever Seen a White Baby?
Asian kid: We don't do a lot of jumping around.
Black kid: Except in the wars, when Chuck Norris has lots of babies.
Asian kid: And white people are marrying everyone.
Babson College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bruce
Categories: About celebrities | Asians | Black people | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lousy Human Condition
Cute girl #1: Do you ever wake up and just smell really bad for some reason?
Cute girl #2, without hesitation: Yeah!
Tufts University
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: concerned about sanitation
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Chillin' in Central Park
Man on cell: Did I say Boston? I'm sorry, I was just in Boston, that's why I said that. Atlanta, I'm in Atlanta right now.
Beacon Hill Starbucks
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Lies | Massachusetts | On the phone | Restaurants | US Geography | Posted 2010-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Seen His Hair?
Indignant little boy: Beethoven is not creepy!
Little girls, in unison: Yes he is!
Melrose, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Insults | Kids | Massachusetts | Music | Posted 2010-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Isn't This Fun?
Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy...
Mother, exasperated: No! It's not even proportionate to the snowman!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Only in Boston...
Apparently Ending Sentences with Prepositions Is Not on That List.
Amnesty International worker: Do you guys have a minute to help end violence against women?
Dude #1: I'm Cambridge's one registered Republican. Do you have a minute to talk about the things I don't have a minute for?
Dude #2: Burn!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Assholes | Comebacks | Guys | Massachusetts | Time Management | Posted 2010-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Deejays Moonlight
Big black woman acting as bathroom attendant: Welcome, beautiful ladies, to the best urination station in the nation! A big pee at the Big E! Stall 5 is open! Okay, we've got a full house, so I wanna hear some flushin'! Ma'am, go to numba 2, let it flow through! Pee as comfortably as you can, cause we all know this place was built by a man! The stalls are too small, haha!
Bathroom, Big E Fairgrounds
Springfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Gender issues | Massachusetts | Pee | Restroom | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Think Of a Few Places
Fabulous shopping man to another: That's the thing about happiness! Even if I had some, I wouldn't know where to put it!
Boston, Masscahusetts
Overheard by: surprisingly happy
Categories: Guys | Happiness | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kids Always Get Payback When You Take Them Shopping
Mom to young son: There's a doggie! Do you know what sound a doggie makes?
Son: Mooo.
Mom, distracted by shiny things: Uh-huh. (pause) Hey! Dogs don't say "moo"!
Target
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Manda
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Parenting | Posted 2010-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, Ironically, Would Be a Good Title for a Country Song
Black girl to white friends: Black people want to be country, but we don't want to listen to the music.
Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: meems
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Music | Race | Posted 2010-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Sheer Drama, Jersey Shore Has Nothing on the North Shore
Restaurant waitress, ranting: If my family weren't here I would take my shoe off and stab you in the eye with it.
Saugus, Massachusetts
Categories: Bartenders | Body parts | Family ties | Massachusetts | Shoes | Threats | Posted 2010-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's All Tweet!
Girl: I just spilled some tea. But luckily it was in a frying pan!
Entire room: Yaaaay!
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Posted 2010-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Exactly...
BU student #1, looking at his CharlieCard: Dude, I have never seen this guy anywhere in Boston. Where do you think he is?
BU student #2, also looking at his CharlieCard: Dude, I don't know.
BU student #1: Maybe he died.
BU student #3: Yeah, because he was sticking his fucking head out of the fucking train window while the train was in motion.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Death & dying | Guys | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Violence | Posted 2010-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ryan Seacrest Was Pissed, Too
Man: Yeah, so the whole night he kept telling us that he had trapped this "goblin" and had locked it under the stairs. So finally, at the end of the night, we went to go check, and found that he had locked a midget in the crawlspace.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Magic | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Posted 2010-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Care If You Are My Grandma.
Man on cell: What? You calling me fat pussy? I will punch you in the face!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Body parts | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Threats | Posted 2010-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why the Fairy Always Dies When His Mom Reads Him Peter Pan
Ten-year-old boy: Dad, why are people clapping?
Father: Because the conductor entered the stage. It's respectful.
Ten-year-old boy: I personally don't believe in clapping for someone unless they've done something.
Tanglewood Music Center
Lenox, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bystander girl
Coupons Are Just What the Government Uses to Distract You from the Aliens
Barista: That will be $9.74, please.
Customer: I have a coupon.
Barista, singing as she rings up new total: Lies, lies, lies.
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Trouble
Ten Bucks Says She Has a Daughter Who's Single
Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?
Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jigawhat
Long Story Short, That Show Left Me with a Bad Taste in My Mouth.
Guy: I've never seen an emcee try to facefuck a crowd like that before.
The Roxy
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Guys | Massachusetts | Music | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Say "Trouser," This Conversation Is Over.
Girl: I was thrown up on by a snake yesterday.
Friend: What kind of snake?
Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Robbo
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one's about Matt*--my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Foreigners | Hippies | Massachusetts | Parenting | Porn | Posted 2009-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Forever 21 Started Manufacturing Habits...
70-something nun to another: I don't care about the bra straps. It's my boobs that really stand out in this shirt.
Holyoke, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ldiggitydawg
Categories: Christianity | Clothes | Massachusetts | Nuns | Old folks | Rack | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ironically, That's When I Realized We Were Lost.
Girl: So then she told me her sister decided to major in geography. I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was laughing so hard.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: English Major
Categories: Education | Family ties | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | Posted 2009-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not to Mention Tommy Lee's Package
Passerby, to himself: Man, they should totally make Google a wonder of the world. I mean, they already have Hollywood and shit.
Technology Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachael Johnson
Categories: Compare and contrast | Internet | Massachusetts | Strangers | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Sure Those Pointed Hoods Are Just for Style
Man handing out pamphlets to white women: You two don't look like you're racist!
Kenmore Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: anonymous
Without a Booster Seat.
30-something: This is my first time sitting at a table!
North Adams, Massachusetts
Overheard by: little miss spy
Categories: Crazies | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Playing Boggle Again?
Gay goth kid: Diana Ross, what are you doing in my mouth?
Dunkin Donuts
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hootinanny
Categories: About celebrities | Goths | Massachusetts | Mouth | Music | Queers | Questions | Stores | Posted 2009-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Ham.
Frathole: The thing about being Jewish is that you don't have to believe in god.
UMass
Massachusetts
Overheard by: So proud of my degree
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | God | Massachusetts | Religion | Stupidity | Posted 2009-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So, No-- I'd Just Cheat on You with One.
Girlfriend: Would you ever date a playboy bunny?
Boyfriend, after long pause: I feel like this is a trap.
UMass Dorm
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Animals | Couples | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worst. Magician. Ever.
Girl, paying for something: Oh. hang on, I have more money in my butt.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Ass | Compare and contrast | Girls | Massachusetts | Money | Posted 2009-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Googled "Lesbian Triplets" and Got Distracted by Porn
College girl #1: So it turned out that he was one of the lesbian triplets!
College girl #2: No way!
College girl #1: Yeah, the tranny!
College girl #2: Owen? I love Owen! I knew him when he still identified as a girl!
College girl #1: Yeah, and it turned out the midget was trans too.
Hampshire College
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Gender issues | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Knock New York Apartments 'Til You've Tried Them
Girl: The toilet was in the living room.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: James
Categories: Girls | Massachusetts | Pee | Poop | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Canadian.
Hipster girl: Oh, look, there's a movie theata here too!
Hipster guy: Movie "theata"? Wow, you do have an accent... but your sister, she's really got an accent!
Hipster girl: Actually, she has a speech impediment.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Family ties | Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | Language barrier | Massachusetts | Words | Posted 2009-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
'Cause I'd Love to Have Promotional Footage for My Website
Girl #1: They're checking out your ass. Up you skirt.
Girl #2: Whatevs. (pause) Wait, do they have cameras?
Hotle Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Categories: Ass | Bars & Clubs | Clothes | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone Deserves at Least One Brush with Greatness
Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!
Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Animals | Education | Girls | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Poop | Stores | Women | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Many Girls Are Fascists, but Don't Know It
Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Fears | Girls | Massachusetts | Movies | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Pick Up a Harvard Guy
Guy with sunglasses on cell: So I went back to the apartment today and he was passed out again! (pause) Yeah, dude, I think he smoked a bowl on my bed and then seized a few times...
B Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Drugs | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | On the phone | Train | Posted 2009-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As We Learned at the Scientology Convention
Dude: Well, maybe pickles are proto-zombies!
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Food | Guys | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Zombies | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day
Girl on cell: So he was like, "I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there." and I was like, "Fuck Brian. I make better waffles."
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Food | Girls | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Kardashian Is Which? Show Your Work.
Girl #1: Oh my god! Look at the little toddler snowsuits!
Girl #2: Will one of you please get knocked up?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Pregnancy | Posted 2009-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Get Homesick
Emphatic girl: Babies can't watch porn!
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Porn | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why You Often See Sneakers Thrown Over Telephone Wires
Woman to man: I ask you for sneakers, and you give me skanky, nasty sneakers? I will never ask you for sneakers again. I would rather go footless.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: but wouldn't you still need sneakers?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Massachusetts | Shoes | Women | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's No Euphemism, Dear Reader
Girl on cell: I would've loved to have gone to that socks summit. It sounds amazing!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me, too?
Categories: Clothes | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Limbo Is Not a Man's Game, Son.
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You're gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Parenting | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Talking Out Of My Ass, Of Course.
Harvard student to another: Okay, so I was thinking in my brain...
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: non-ivy-leaguer
Categories: Body parts | Massachusetts | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2009-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Why Her Name Is Bjorrjammijjinanan
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
Categories: Family ties | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Parenting | Relationships | Shopping | Posted 2009-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me... Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And a Photo Of My Face Drooling White Liquid?
Greek mythology professor: So, why is there a flying penis on the screen?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Education | Massachusetts | Penis | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Lovemaking Session Is Like One Of the Matrix Movies
Blonde: So if you don't swallow it, where does it go?
Brunette, exasperated: I don't know, I dodge it!
Dorm
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: BJs | Bimbettes | Cum | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Social Norms Are Different in the People's Republic
10-year-old boy to friend, about Austin Powers: Your mom let you watch that movie? She doesn't even let you have sugar!
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Or, Put More Eloquently, "What What (In the Butt)?"
Woman on toilet: What the fuck is going on with my ass?
Medford, Massachusetts
Categories: Ass | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Restroom | Women | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight, on No-Context Theatre...
Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who's Phyllis?
Guy #2: She's this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sunny
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Food | Guys | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Like Mental Calisthenics, You'll Love This Quote!
17-year-old mom: And she thought that you were my mom!
18-year-old friend, gesturing to baby: Wait... so is this your sister or my grandchild?
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Friends | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Keeping Up With the Judashians
Teenybopper #1: So I haven't had my period in like six weeks!
Teenybopper #2: Girl, that means you must be pregnant!
Teenybopper #1: No, cuz then I'd have to be, like, a female Jesus!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Jesus | Massachusetts | Pregnancy | Teens | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens When Mom Isn't Around to Stop Him
Greasy man, with greasy chick hanging on him: On the walls! Cum all over the windows! Cum cum cum, I loooove to cum!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Savannah and Alena
Categories: Chicks | Cum | Guys | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, President Obama!
White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great... 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.
Massachussetts
Next Time, Actually Read My Nametag.
Drunk chick: Haha, you're a cheeky queen.
Drunk queer: Don't call me a cheeky queen! I'm a dirty bitch!
Provincetown, Massachusetts
The Enemy Of My Imaginary Enemy Is My Imaginary Friend
Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.
Boston, Massachusetts
Oh, Now You're a Doctor?
Freshman boy: I think I have gingivitis.
Friend: You can't get gingivitis on your hand!
High School
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shiny
Categories: Friends | Hands | Maladies | Massachusetts | Students | Posted 2009-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Mean Is, You Really Stand for Something.
Lady in suit to man in wheelchair: Well, you're quick on your feet, I'll give you that. You're quick on your feet... Oh.
Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Categories: Body parts | Disabled | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Where the Naked Twister Game Is Taking Place
Teen boy #1: Haha, you have to be in the back of the bus.
Teen boy #2: Is that a race thing?
Teen boy #1: No, its a sexual thing.
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sara
Categories: Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Questions | Race | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Congratulations?
20-something guy: Dude, I have been waiting four to five years for this boner.
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neme
Categories: Erections | Guys | Massachusetts | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was More Of an Excuse for Two Guys to Have Sex
Girl to friend: Your first time was a three-way?
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Friends | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Sex | Posted 2009-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Finished with the Scavenger Hunt
Guy on cell: Now I just need to get jumped.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not the best place to shout that out
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Sex | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Going for Drinks After Work Can Be a Minefield
Girl #1: Get your hand out of your crotch!
Girl #2: It's not in my crotch!
Girl #1: Yeah, well it's in my way!
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: No, no, no, no! Wait! No!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Terrible Twos.
Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.
Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Bus | Fears | Massachusetts | On the phone | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Maybe a Blowjob or Two
Black teen employee to teen girl employee: Some of these people, they want to get to know you and make a connection, and I'm like, "man, I don't want to be your friend, I just want to give you a towel."
Marino Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Coworkers | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Cuckoo As a Table-Saw Today.
Director of the office of judicial affairs: It was a blizzard. It was snowing so much, it was snowing like a pig. (pause) I have no idea why I just said that.
Orientation
University, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emurii
Categories: Animals | Bosses | Compare and contrast | Massachusetts | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Monster!
Student: Is there anything I can do to make this grade better?
Teacher: Uh, do better work.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Education | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Wonder I Keep Passing Out!
Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm... 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something?
Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Anorexics | Clothes | Clothing | Diet & weight | Girls | Massachusetts | Money | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Would Be Cute Except That the Bus Is Empty
Bus driver: Push back, push back! Don't be afraid! Hold somebody's hand, tell 'em you love 'em!
57 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Categories: Bus | Bus drivers | Feelings | Hands | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Posted 2009-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Would End the Fun and Games
Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Parenting | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2009-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You Go Cowboy, You Get a Whole New Posse
Preteen girl #1, trying on cowboy hat: If I was a cowboy, would you be my friend?
Preteen girl #2: No.
Newburyport, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Tweens | Posted 2009-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Craig Kilborn Lends Name to Chewable Prozac.
Little boy in handicapped stall: I like you... I like you, Craig... You relax me.
Ladies Room, Barnes & Noble
Saugus, Massachusetts
Lest a Fire Hose Become Your Bidet
T conductor, over loudspeaker: Sir! The world is not your toilet!
Park St. Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Conductors | Massachusetts | Pee | Public Transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sadly, Also the Current Plot Of The Real World
First grade boy: I had two girlfriends but I lost one.
First grade girl: Didn't one of them kiss you?
First grade boy: Yeah, Hannah told Alexis to kiss whoever she liked more, and it was me and this other girl, and she was going to kiss her, but then she kissed me and we've been together for, like, forever.
First grade girl: Yeah.
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: was still playing with barbies- clothed
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Students | Posted 2009-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Read It in This Travel Brochure
Girl: All you Boston niggaz suck, ya'll pussies be leaving the party at two.
Guy: Cause niggaz get shot at three.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sam
Categories: Girls | Guys | Insults | Massachusetts | Murder | Time Management | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Just Hate Arguments, Though
American man: Fish is good in salad.
Australian man: Fish is great in salad!
American man: Do you even like fish?
Australian man: No.
Harvard Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Foreigners | Friends | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Now Walk Like an Egyptian
Cop, over cruiser speaker, to lethargic group of hipsters: Go ahead...walk.
(hipsters saunter across street)
Cop, still on speaker: Good job.
Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kaitlin
Categories: Compliments | Cops | Hipsters | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Was the Ear.
Guy on phone: I didn't, like...have eye-sex with him. (pause) I didn't fuck him in the eye!
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mike Dunn
Categories: Body parts | Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Rappers Moonlight.
Train driver: This train is being taken out of service. Brigham Circle will be the last stop for this train. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
E Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: camille
Categories: Advice | Conductors | Gripes | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2009-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Vacations Exist.
Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick... Chiswick... Cheese balls... Cheese balls...balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stefa
Categories: Balls | Conductors | Food | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Train | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kids Flock to Her Slumber Parties for Her Mom's Brownies
Chick on cell: Yeah, mom, listen: I'm trying to buy some weed. Yeah, I'll call you back if I get any. Okay, love you too. Bye.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrienne
Categories: Chicks | Drugs | Family ties | Massachusetts | Moms | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Even Gonna Ask About Your Leash Collection
Grandmother: So my friend gave me dog biscuits for my birthday.
Teen girl: But you don't have a dog.
Grandmother: She knew I would appreciate them, dear.
Teen girl: And it isn't your birthday.
Grandmother: That doesn't matter. I was going to save them for the Boxer that young man brings around the home, but I got hungry around noon.
Teen girl: Oh no. You didn't.
Grandmother: What? It's not as if I ate them plain. I boiled a cup of coffee and dipped them.
Frammingham, Massachusetts
R2D2 Refused to Answer Me
Student to friend: So I said, "Dude! You're the one inside the metal box!"
Harvard University Campus
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CT girl
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Friends | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Prefers to Feel His Moon in My Seventh House
Girl #1: I mean, there's condoms for free in the student center! Why don't you guys use protection?!
Girl #2: Sigh. I don't know. I think because I'm a Gemini.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Who has this conversation when I'm sitting right next to them?
Categories: Condoms | Default | Euphemisms | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Sex | Stupidity | Posted 2009-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
QED, Girlfriend
Young woman #1: How much time do I waste studying that I could be working out?
Young woman #2: I'd rather be skinny than smart.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Health & Hygiene | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Women | Posted 2009-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...About the DVD Release Of Happy Feet
Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!
Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me too
Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | Nipples | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Good Luck Finding Feminist Theory There
Frazzled student at exam pick-up room: Where can I find religion?
Exam worker: The Catholic church across the street?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mary
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Employees | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Questions | Religion | Students | Posted 2009-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anyone Else Find This Lady Frightening?
Short girl hugging friend: Let's make CocoRosie jokes and spoon.
Basketball Game
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sounds pretty nice to me
Categories: Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Music | Offers and requests | Relationships | Posted 2009-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What We All Want, Jimbo.
Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's dick.
Government Center
Boston, Massachsetts
Overheard by: Jchill
Categories: BJs | Default | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Penis | Thugs | Words | Posted 2009-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hate When They Do It While You're Driving, and You Can't See the Road
Frustrated gamer playing The Legend of Zelda: Did you see that? She's such a slut! Her vagina was just totally up in link's face. And he's like, twelve. Why are women like that all the time?
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: the girl in the corner cramming for finals
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Insults | Massachusetts | Questions | Vagina | Posted 2009-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Wonder It's Spreading So Fast
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Airports & flights | Animals | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Questions | Sex | Teens | Posted 2009-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Tried Craigslist?
Woman walking Corgi shouting to woman walking King Charles Spaniel: He wants to meet a licky dog.
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Aunt Kelly
Categories: Animals | Default | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But, Like, Why Do They Always Salivate When I Ring This Bell?
Professor: How do you feel about presenting?
Student: Nervous. I don't like talking in front of people.
Professor: These aren't people, these are students!
Students: (silence)
Professor: That's not a nice thing to say. You can't believe I just said that, can you?
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: CR
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Feelings | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Are Entire Websites Devoted to That Sort Of Thing, Sweetie.
Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)
Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts
While Girls Are Busy Inserting Tampons
Girl to friends: Of course guys are better at math and science than girls are, they have more time to work on it!
Dining Hall, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: what?
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Posted 2009-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.
Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?
College
Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Jesus | Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Religious fanatics | Teachers | Posted 2009-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Think About This Too Long, Dear Reader
Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Posted 2009-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or It Would If You Didn't Keep Pausing to Vomit.
College girl on cell: You're making a valid argument. It sounds completely sober!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Students | Posted 2009-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, This Is Applebee's.
Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K-Mart... Shit, I mean "Wal-Mart."
Wal-Mart
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Caitlin
Categories: Default | Employees | Massachusetts | Names | Offers and requests | Shopping | Stores | Posted 2009-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You've Ever Waited Weeks for Grades, You'll Understand the Applause
Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Teachers | Posted 2009-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially an All-Girls' College?
Smithie: Why do I go to college if my only ambition is to be a constantly drunk trophy wife?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Colleen
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Education | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Students | Posted 2009-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then There's the Peeing in My Closet
Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)
Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'll Grind Them Up, Snort Them, and Hope for the Best
Girl #1, holding up box of Kellogg's frosted flakes and reading: Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: There aren't any directions.
Clark University
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jedusor
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Girls | Insults | Massachusetts | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Makes Me Feel Less Bad About Sleeping with Him Behind Your Back
Angry girl: He. Gave. Me. Go-no-rrhe-a!
Calm girl: So? (pause) You're not getting back with him?
Pierpont Dorm
UMass, Amherst
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | STDs | Sex | Words | Posted 2009-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are There No Gay Cougars?
Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like...old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: gymbo
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Death & dying | Default | Feelings | Fruit | Massachusetts | Queers | Posted 2009-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Pick Up My Tab, Right?
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Suits | Posted 2009-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It May Be Time to Take the Wii Out Of the Office
Male bar patron #1: Matt's just too much, man.
Male bar patron #2: I can't take that much manhood.
(awkward pause)
Male bar patron #3: I'm sore.
The Sevens
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bar Patron
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Gotta Get Home for Shabbas
Hobo, picking through recycling for cans and bottles: Thank god it's Friday!
Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | God | Happiness | Hobos | Massachusetts | Posted 2009-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I'd Punch Her in the Face
Guy to friend: If I walked in on you making out with my little sister I would punch you in the face! But then I would be like, "Eh...she could do worse."
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Guys | Massachusetts | Relationships | Threats | Posted 2009-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Opposed to Doing the Voodoo That You Do So Well
Girl: She really hated you for awhile, though. She even made a voodoo doll of you.
Guy: Are you fucking serious?!
Girl: Well, she Velcroed a bunch of angry words to a cabbage patch doll and then cried because she was afraid the doll thought she was angry at it specifically.
Guy: She always maintained an impressive level of incompetence.
Boston, Massachusetts
Though Technically It Was Me in the Bathroom Mirror
Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile-vomit.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Memory lane | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Thus Saith the Lord
Guy: If you bang a girl unprotectedly, you have to keep banging her protectedly to make sure she doesn't start showing.
Allston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Sex | Posted 2009-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
College Applications Get More Personal Every Year
Middle schooler to friend: So, have you ever had anal sex with your mom?
Brighton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Holly
Categories: Backdoor | Default | Family ties | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Sand on the Beach, So Are the Balls Of Our Lives
Gay #1: One guy likes to have his junk stepped on, but no punches in them.
Gay #2: Ow!
Gay #1: I don't like balls in my toes, though.
Gay #2: Just think of it as sand on a beach!
Starbucks
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Scott
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Gays | Massachusetts | Penis | Restaurants | Posted 2009-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wasn't This a Cheers Episode?
Waitress: Is this the book club? These are your free shots.
Bar
Allston, Massachusetts
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Books | Default | Drinking & drunks | Employees | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Quit My Job on Capitol Hill
20-something girl to friend: Then one day I look around and think: "where did all these penises come from?"
Lee's Diner
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: BoboB
Categories: Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Penis | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As It Says My Big Book Of Things Only Men Are Fired for Saying
Professor to girl walking into class with a large box: Wow, you have such a big package! (entire class starts laughing) I am so getting fired today.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: miao miao
Categories: Class | Compliments | Default | Euphemisms | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Teachers | Words