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Trust Me-- I Gave Derek His First Blow Job.
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can't be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that'd do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
And Is It Anything Like "Walk Like a Prescription"?
Guy in Pirates jersey: Just another planet Monday... Wait, how does that go?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flab Treesports
...But Does It Matter?
Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No...
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Categories: Euphemisms | Food | Girls | Maryland | Questions | Posted 2011-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mary Magdalen and Jesus Had This Misunderstanding All the Time
Guy to friend: So, when you shouted "god!" you really meant "whore", right?
University of Maryland
As I Learned at the Birth-a-Bear Workshop
Boy to friend: I'm totally capable of giving birth to a live teddy bear.
High School
Clarksville, Maryland
See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?
30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8x10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5x7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.
Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Daniel
Just Don't Ask Me to Ride Your Pinta
Girl: So, while fixing the leak, you may discover something else?
50-year old mechanic, grinning and nodding: I am Columbus.
Auto Body Shop
Lanham, Maryland
Overheard by: Jen
Yadda Yadda Yadda, Now He's a "She"
Bro #1: What a douchebag move!
Bro #2: Seriously. He glued it to the car. He could have just taped it!
Suburbia, Maryland
Have You Ever Felt the Stinging Shame Of a Violin Bow on Your Behind?
High school girl #1: I hate how everyone judges you based on your grades.
High school girl #2: What?
High school girl #3: Well, okay. By "everyone," I mean Asians.
Walter Johnson High School
Maryland
Kermit: It's Not Easy Oozing Green
Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes "Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?" And I go, "No, it's my feet, I swear!" Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Nasty Nate
Categories: Bartenders | Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Maryland | Penis | STDs | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Unkindest Cold Cut Of All
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No...?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Categories: Burping & farting | Compare and contrast | Dads | Kids | Kids | Maryland | Parenting | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also a Major Problem at Chimpanzee Schools
Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!
Potomac, Maryland
I Meant SkyMall Magazine, but Whatever
Newbie guy on airplane: What's this?
Female friend: For your entertainment.
Newbie guy: Ooooh! Barf bag!
Washington International Airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Friends | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Public Transportation | Questions | Posted 2010-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why You Shouldn't Wait to Have Sex 'til Marriage
Med student #1: You broke up with her because of a facial expression?
Med student #2: Man, if you saw her "o" face you'd would've done the same. (makes contorted face with mouth wide open)
Med student #1: Oh, hell yeah... that's some ugly shit to come to.
Med student #2: I would have never been able to get off... and all those sounds!
Med student #1: Sexy?
Med student #2: Jungle. Primal.
School of Medicine
University of Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Maryland | Questions | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Students | Posted 2010-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Untrue Blood...
Mother to eight-year-old: Tommy*, get in the picture with your aunt Linda!*
Tommy*: You're hungover!
Mother: Just get in and smile.
Tommy*, indignant: She's not related to me! In what way, shape or form does she share my blood?!
Havre de Grace, Maryland
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Kids | Maryland | Moms | Posted 2010-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Can't Shame Me Into the Army
College guy: I'm scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I'm scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don't wanna!
Salisbury, Maryland
For the Last Time, It's Called a "Tax Audit"
Party girl: It's a pow-wow!
Party guy: Dude, everyone knows it's not a pow-wow without a fire.
Party girl: I have a sombrero.
Party guy: No, no, that's a fiesta!
Salisbury, Maryland
Categories: Language barrier | Maryland | Sorority types | Words | Posted 2010-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So I Requested a Different Waiter.
Girl to friends: He looked like a Mexican vampire, and it did not work for me.
Clarksville, Maryland
Overheard by: I can see why
Categories: Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Maryland | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Close Enough.
Female student: It's a Wonderful Life... That's the one about the Holocaust, right?
Clarksville, Maryland
Overheard by: Jimmy Steward played Hitler
...How's Your Relationship with Your Grandma?
Girl on cell: So, like, I refused her. I told her I'm not friends with whores.
Salisbury, Maryland
Categories: Girls | Insults | Maryland | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yoko Ono in the 1970's: Encapsulated.
Girl wearing long, flowy skirt to friend: I just feel a deep connection with the lighting of this room. I'm a big fan of lighting.
Maryland
On My Deck
Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I've got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one letter away from making me a very happy woman.
Girl #2: I was one letter away from making myself a very happy woman. If I had that, I'd go fuck myself.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Then We'll Rebuild the Engine in My Chevy
Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but...
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't--I'm going home right now to google "demons" and "possession."
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Only if I can watch...
The School Needs All Its Federal Funding
Student teacher: All right, guys, let's try that again. But this time with 30 to 40% less child death.
Clarksville, Maryland
Categories: Death & dying | Kids | Maryland | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Stroke Was His Own Idea
Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Death & dying | Maladies | Maryland | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mom Still Reminisces Fondly About the First Visit from the Police
Girl: When I see small children, I feel like I owe my mother an apology.
Baltimore, MD
Overheard by: Ren
...So Most Of You Got That Wrong on the Midterm.
Psychology professor at all-women college: Personality disorders are the people you end up married to.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Sabrina
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Family ties | Maryland | Mental illnesses | Relationships | Teachers | Posted 2009-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Like to Tape Pictures to It
Customer #1: Can you tell me about these TVs? Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. You are dressed just like them.
Customer #2: That's okay. I don't know much about TVs.
Customer #1: What's to know? You plug it in and connect the cable, right? You probably know as much as them. Now these TVs, if they are digital, which they say they are... do I need a cable box for these or do I just put the setting on cable?
Customer #2: I don't know. I don't have a digital TV.
Customer #1: I don't have a TV either. I'm homeless. I have a radio.
Best Buy
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Scomart
Categories: Clothes | Customers | Maryland | Offers and requests | Shopping | Technology | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Clustered Around the Mayonnaise and Wonder Bread
Aunt: Jared*, put the toy back. We are going to go over to K-Mart, because they have a better selection.
Four-year-old: I don't want to go to K-Mart, auntie! There's too many white people over there!
Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: His (embarassed) Mother
I Thought That Was Only Possible in Thailand?
Professor: Here, let me make you some flesh. You know, you can buy flesh in the school store!
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Painting with Mr. Lector
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Maryland | Shopping | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And She Raised Them As Her Own.
Staff man: Yeah, she was freaking out. But the mouse had some babies before it passed...
Warped Tour
Columbia, Maryland
Whiter? Is That Possible?
Girl: It's like Everybody Loves Raymond, but with white people.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Liz
Categories: Compare and contrast | Girls | Maryland | Race | TV shows | Posted 2009-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's All Fun and Games 'til Somebody Pokes a Baby Out
Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject...
Who's Black and White and Back from the Dead All Over?
Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!
Art Class, Middle School
Maryland
Categories: Black people | Education | Jesus | Maryland | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're So Full Of Shit, Jason
Jock: Our soccer team's like the colon--it's probably there for a reason but no one knows what it is.
Friend: That's the appendix.
Westminster, Maryland
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Jocks | Maryland | Stupidity | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'll Require More Staring Time Before We Go Eat
Guy: Man, look at this guy! It's weird how they keep the eyelashes and hair on to keep them semi-human. You can see everything!
Girl: Um, are all penises so big?
Guy: I think it's due to preserving process.
Girl: I'm hungy.
Body Worlds Exhibit
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: 8lb Gem my ASS!!
All the Good Men Are Either Straight or Extinct
Gay man: I find Neanderthals really attractive. If there were Neanderthals around now, I would be all over that.
Hyattsville, Maryland
Overheard by: prefers guys with smaller noses
Why Do You Go to Church?
Girl to friend: It's like someone touches your cunt and you get all happy.
Easton, Maryland
Your Editors All Have Bulletproof Alibis
High school girl: There was way too much drama in sixth grade. All my friends were always talking about how their boyfriends knocked someone up. I'm like, "you're twelve years old! Get over it!"
Greenbelt, Maryland
Categories: Age and ageing | Education | Girls | Maryland | Pregnancy | Relationships | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Intellectual Version Of Double Dare
Professor: They were playing the Rocky theme song while I was trying to think great thoughts.
McDaniel College, Maryland
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Maryland | Movies | Music | Philosophy | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just As a Conversation Piece, Y'know?
Hipster: You're buying an Ethiopian? I did that once.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Tickle Feet
And Let's Hope to God It's Perez Hilton
(little girl is spinning and singing in grocery store line)
Dad, very calmly: Honey... Next time the gypsies come to town, they're leaving with an extra person.
Severna Park, Maryland
If You Don't Accept My Low, Low Introductory Offer Right Now
Mother to kid: Stop that right now, or I'm going to give you to a stranger!
Stranger: Good luck finding one who'll take her.
The Baltimore Aquarium
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cols
Categories: Family ties | Kids | Maryland | Moms | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Strangers | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sort Of Thing That Keeps Us in Business
Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there...
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh...
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Girl: Uh-huh...
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad.
Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cool Breeze
You Can Sell the Blood to Marilyn Manson for a Bundle.
Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Education | Feelings | Maryland | Music | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pearls Of Wisdom from How to Raise a Serial Killer
Rich mother: Well, you'll just have to hold it! You can't go to the bathroom around here! They are positively disgusting, you'll die!
Little child, crying: Please, mommy, I need to go!
Rich mother: Don't you value your life?
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Alex Ello
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Maryland | Moms | Parenting | Poop | Stupidity | Posted 2009-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So...um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind...
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought...
Get Off That Muffin for a Sec.
Guy #1, smashing grapes: I'm making wine.
Guy #2: That's not how you make wine.
Guy #3: Yeah, you need yeast. Hey, Melissa, come here.
Maryland
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Fruit | Guys | Maryland | Science | Posted 2009-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Don't See Either on the Menu
Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.
Maryland
Overheard by: Neither nor
Says It's a Slurpery Slope
Blonde teenager: Look at her. She's either a whore or a dyke.
Friend: That's why my dad doesn't let me drink Slurpees.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Dylan
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Maryland | Offers and requests | Teens | Posted 2009-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Even Get Me Started About Boo Beret Cereal
Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!
Grocery Store
Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
NewsFlash: Teen Sober. Film at 11.
Sober teen: The mall is, like, all about clothes now.
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Sven Johnson
Notice the Bite Marks on My Shoulder
Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.
Frederick, Maryland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Maryland | Questions | Texting | Posted 2009-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, Gossip Girl!
Woman to friends: Who would have know that shaving my pubes wouldn't get rid of pubic lice?
Chipotle
Towson, Maryland
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Default | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Questions | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2009-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
History's an Unbroken Chain Of Pushing, Wrestling and Girl-Chasing
Four-year-old girl, showing off scrape on arm: I got that on the playground today when Joey pushed me and I fell!
Mom: Joey should keep his hands to himself. Does your teacher tell him that?
Four-year-old girl, like mom is stupid: Moooooom, he's a boy and that's what boys do! They like to push and wrestle and chase girls!
Mom: Um, that may be true, but it still doesn't make it right.
In Line at Starbucks
Bethesda, Maryland
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | Hands | Kids | Kids | Maryland | Moms | Restaurants | Posted 2009-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Could Say to Her Was, "Congratulations."
Girl #1: So what do you think of her boyfriend?
Girl #2: I can see his underwear through his pants.
Tapas Teatro
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Underwear Moderator
The Cartoon Network-History Channel Merger Confused Everybody
Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
In His Electronic Sepulchre There by the Sea
Girl discussing Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait: It's just that it seems like he went through and for each word looked in the dictionary for the longest synonym. Or, well, did he use those words back then?
Baltimore School for the Arts
Baltimore, Maryland
And I'm a Republican!
Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Maryland | Names | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Are Only a Flautas Fairy and an Empanada Elf!
Concerned middle aged woman: But there is no such thing as a burrito fairy!
Flight over Maryland
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Maryland | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Hitler and People Who Smell Tied for Third
Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.
Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
The Truth About Cats and Dark
Professor: If you walk into a dark room, you're not going to just step on a cat laying in the middle of the floor.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Maryland | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: Bend It Like Bitchy
Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?
Baltimore, Maryland
I Need To Use The John
20-something girl in bathroom, to cat scratching at the bathroom door trying to get in: Why? Why the hell do you want to come in here? You don't even like me!
Maryland
Sugar Bear Is Next
Serious philosophy teacher: Captain Crunch has been raped.
High School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: clementine
Categories: About celebrities | Crimes | Default | Internet | Maryland | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Violence | Posted 2008-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait 'Til She Realizes Drag Queens Have Better Legs Than She Does
20-something girl #1: Did you hear Dan and Jack are getting married?
20-something girl #2: But they're guys.
20-something girl #1: Yeah... guys who fell in love in college, have been together eight years, have never broken up once, and Dan proposed while they were in Paris.
20-something girl #2: Bitches! They stole my dream! See, this is why feminism sucks.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | Gripes | Maryland | Philosophy | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes Over the Intercom at Work, Just for Fun, But That's It.
Girl in skirt: And so she was just sitting in the stall on her phone when I went in! She was having a normal volume conversation.
Girl in pants: Ewww. What did you do?
Girl in skirt: I mean, I peed. But reluctantly. It's not like I want to broadcast my bodily functions to everyone, you know? (pause) I mean I'm broadcasting them to you right now, but not over the phone.
Girl in pants: Right. Totally.
Rockville Pike, Maryland
At The Same Time?
Tween to friends: Imagine if Hitler gave everybody hugs!
Baltimore, MD
Totally!
Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no...I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Default | Girls | Hair | Maryland | Nipples | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2008-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are Hamburgers Still Okay?
Student: Dogs belong on leashes, not...inside you!
University of Maryland
Overheard by: MD
He's in Training for the Cobra Fight
Woman, paying for breakfast: I had to beat up my son for this five dollars.
Deli Counter
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Minivet
They're Working Their Way Up to Their Heroin Midterms
Dude to chick: It's the first day of class--let's get wasted! (both hi five)
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Girls | Guys | Maryland | Time Management | Posted 2008-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'd Be Lucky If They Were Only Rapists
Rednecks in pickup truck, driving past bus stop: Hey, pretty girl! Want a ride?
(pretty girl waiting for bus shakes her head, truck moves on)
Pretty girl, to male companion: So, is everyone here just really friendly, or what?
Male companion: No, they're creepy. Don't talk to them.
Highlandtown, Baltimore
Overheard by: tourist
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Maryland | Offers and requests | Rednecks | Posted 2008-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then She Left for Parts Unknown
Girl: My mom said "Just don't pass out in the port-a-potty."
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Default | Girls | Maryland | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But My Girlfriend Definitely Is
Guy on cell: Yeah, I haven't decided yet if camels are enough like horses for them to scare the crap out of me to ride.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: I never knew he was afraid of horses!
Unless They Belong to the Right Fraternity
Beautiful blonde to almost empty room: Well, I don't experiment with animals either.
Greenbelt, Maryland
We Suspect It's Only Physical
Little boy, running and screaming down the aisle: I...love...diet...Coke!
Borders
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Liz
I'll Tell the World!
Guy: Dude, his nipples are like as big as my pecs!
Girl: ...people can hear you here.
Stamp Student Union
University of Maryland
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Girls | Maryland | Nipples | Posted 2008-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Guys Prefer to Be Firmly Held
Little kid (skipping and yelling): Tighty whitey man! Tighty whitey man!
Mount Vernon Farmers' Market
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: livin'
It's an Essential Part of Your Education
(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know "saxophone" sounds a lot like "sexy-phone"!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it "the sex"!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, "Hey, do you know how to play the sex?"
Boy #1: Heh-heh... Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew... That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah...but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh...
School Bus
Maryland
Overheard by: Sam
Disney May Have Crossed the Line With Whinny the Poo
Drunk girl: I've seen a horse sit on a goddamn toilet!
Pimlico Race Course
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Rachel Isadora
Why Parachute Pants Are Making a Comeback
Girl: I will pull my pants up and show you I am not hairy!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
They Tend to Get Saucy
Supervisor to trainee: Don't be afraid of the tomatoes.
Safeway
Rockville, Maryland
A Choice Every Man Must Make at Some Point in His Life
Guy #1: Sure, that is something I have always wanted to do... I mean I would rather fuck a girl in the ass than ummmmmm... go skydiving.
Guy #2: Well said, my man.
Baltimore, Maryland
Any Excuse to Put Fruit on Your Bottom
Early 20-something woman on cell with boyfriend: I would love to dress you up as yogurt!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Fine-- Arby's It Is
Dad: What do you want for dinner?
Toddler #1: Shit!
Dad: Uh, you can't say that...
Toddler #2: Shit!
Toddler #1: Shit!
Toddler #2: Shit!
Toddler #1: Shit!
Dad: Uh...
Grocery Store
Maryland
Granted, I Cut Her, but They Still Owe Me Ten Bucks
Gay guy: I told them not to have hip-hop night cause a bitch would get cut. And what happened? A bitch got cut!
Outside The Hippo
Mt. Vernon, Mayrland
Someone's Gotta Inspire Hanson's Next Effort
Guy: What are you showing me? Bruises on your knees? You can't do that with every guy in the band you know.
Girl: I know. But that would be awesome if I could!
Carroll Community College
Maryland
Overheard by: Left Speechless
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Guys | Maryland | Questions | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whereas Elizabeth Taylor Will Turn Into Delicious Pudding
Professor: One day you'll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you're Cher--she'll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.
McDaniel College
Maryland
Categories: About celebrities | Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Maryland | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Shown That They Do Exist, He Fainted
Grungy dude, pointing to expensive vacuum: You should get this one. It sucks up everything!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I don't have much carpet. I need, like, a Broom Vac or something.
Grungy dude: A Broom Vac?! Put down the crack pipe!
Target
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Couples | Default | Drugs | Girls | Guys | Maryland | Stores | Technology | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Drugging Miss Daisy
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Drugs | Etiquette | Ladies who lunch | Maryland | Restaurants | Weirdness | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By 35, She Was Already Set in Her Ways
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually "poop," but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Guys | Kids | Maryland | Offspring | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, Just Make an Audio-Visual Geek Your Friend
Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It's not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] ...It's not good to be a teacher, perhaps that's what it is.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
Which, for Some Reason, Makes Me All Tingly Inside
Woman #1: That's a wonderful coat.
Woman #2: I hope it stays cold long enough for me to enjoy it.
Woman #1: You know, you're really brave. I have a fur at home but I can't stop thinking about those crazy PETA people chasing me down with a van and hurting me.
Sidewalk in front of Grocery Store
Maryland
You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can't dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Drunks | Guys | Maryland | Pride | Relationships | Restaurants | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I'm all for feminism, but I don't like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Categories: Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Girls | Maryland | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Sorority types | Stores | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fool Me Twice, Shame on Morton's
Freshman girl: Never snort salt.
Other freshman girl: I know, right! It burns so bad!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Shelby
Categories: Advice | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Sensory experiences | Sorority types | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nas: It's About Time
Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!
Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom
The Foil Helmet Just Seals in the Knowledge
Student: I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don't know, so I'm trying to learn all these alphabets... I must be paranoid, I don't know.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: l_tau
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Fears | Geography | Maryland | Mental illnesses | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since the Judge Ordered Me to Steer Clear of Markers
Lady #1: I'm ready, are you coming?
Lady #2: I think I may just stay here and smell the pencils for a while.
Animal Hospital
Abingdon, Maryland
Overheard by: Paying for food
Since Barenaked Ladies Was Already Taken
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I'm calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna's
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Age and ageing | Education | Guys | Maryland | Music | Names | Penis | Restaurants | Vagina | Words | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's Not Even Including the Millions of Unborn Babies
Girl to friend: I swear to god, if there is semen on my shirt, I will kill everyone.
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Tom and Laura
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Murder | Sorority types | Threats | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's More Like a Museum of Strangers' Poo, Honey
Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It's like a little house where I'll always be protected.
Renaissance Festival
Maryland
Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey
Why Nobody's All That Sold on the Idea Of Heaven
College guy: And then, there would be no more vagina!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Laiah and Caitlin
And You Stole Me from a Playground!
Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn't our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn't our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you've got to stop saying that when we're in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn't!
AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Family ties | Fears | Kids | Kids | Lies | Maryland | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then the Mescaline Wore Off, and I Was Naked in a Public Fountain
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans... It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
Portrait of the State Senator As a Young Man
Guy #1: God, that burns! Chlamydia's a bitch! You ever get chlamydia?
Guy #2: Nah, man. I don't fuck sluts.
Guy #1: Well, I do!
College Park, Maryland
For the Last Time, These Are Tabs of E.
Four-year-old boy to eight-year-old sister: Geez! Just take some Midol and relax!
Six Flags
Maryland
Categories: Advice | Default | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Maryland | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Expect to Awaken Tomorrow Nauseated, Infected
Tipsy girl: You know what type of night it is? I'm wearing a leopard-print dress and leggings! It's that type of night!
Shout-out: www.overheardatlc.blogspot.com
But We're Totally in the Clear with Wikipedia, Right?
Dude: You know, less than half of Snapple facts are true.
Chick: Really? Because I totally cited those in research papers.
College Park, Maryland
Old Breadsticks Will Also Do in a Pinch
Guy: You gotta watch out for the Italian Air Force, dude. They've got, like, hang-gliders, and guys who throw rocks.
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Overheard by: Sara
Couldn't We Just Discriminate Against People Wearing Explosive Clothing?
Bimbette: Well, discriminating against the Muslims is different than against, like, the Russians for Hitler and everything.
Archbishop Spalding High School
Severn, Maryland
Overheard by: Wait, is she kidding?
Categories: Bimbettes | Compare and contrast | Default | Geography | History | Maryland | Politics | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do They Count If You Have to Blow Them Up?
Music history professor: Darwin says that the sole purpose for living things is to survive and procreate. What about us, as musicians? Do we need music to survive and procreate? Well, some people believe that music was created as a sort of mating call. Compare the reproductive life of Jimi Hendrix to the reproductive life of... well, me.
Class: Um...
Music history professor: Well, clearly I win hands-down because of all my groupies.
1 East Mount Vernon Place
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: stravinsky
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Maryland | Music | Science | Sex | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once a Month. Our People Love Dragons and Firecrackers
White girl to Asian guy: So... How often is Chinese New Year?
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Idiots | Maryland | Overheard in College Park | Questions | Students | Stupidity | Time Management | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weapons of Mass Digestion
Paranoid blonde: He's just so quiet and creepy. I really feel like he could kill someone!
Annoyed brunette: Because he's quiet and creepy?
Paranoid blonde: Well, he, like, steals forks from the dining hall and stuff!
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
As Pimpin' As Anything in This Comic Book Store, Anyway
10-year-old boy to Scrabble players: You guys are playing Scrabble? That's totally pimpin'!
Comic book store
Towson, Maryland
Someone Who Can Afford Better Than Macy's
Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay... What's a hooker?
Macy's, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland
Overheard by: jd
Further Evidence That Frat Boys Are Born, Not Made
Two-year-old: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...
Mother, trying to talk to her friend: What?!
Two-year-old, thrusting pizza at her: Blow me!
Mom's friend: Well, that's one for the baby book.
Pizza Hut
Maryland
Life Was Better When Knowledge Was the Province Of Those Who Could Lie About It
Biology professor: Hey, didn't they discover that process in corals?
Grad student: No, they discovered that in plants.
Biology professor: That's what I just said!
Grad student: But coral is not a plant.
Biology professor: What? Yes, it is!
Grad student: No, it's not, it's an animal!
Biology professor: Since when?
Grad student: Since always -- go look it up!
Biology professor, after disappearing for five minutes: Fucking Wikipedia...
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: How'd you get this job, anyway?
I Didn't Know They Made Thongs That Big
Male student: So, how's your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
But Yes.
Teen boy #1: You had sex? Really?
Teen boy #2: Hell yeah, I did.
Teen boy #1: Was it like West Virginia?
Teen boy #2: Huh?
Teen boy #1: You know, 'Wild and Wonderful'!
Teen boy #2: ... Dude, that's gay.
Frederick, Maryland
When You Can Take the Handicapped Kid's Scissors Away, Grasshopper...
Bimbette: ... You, like, learn to flip people on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with retarded kids and they, like, have come at her with scissors and tried to cut her throat before.
Barista: That doesn't sound like a job I'd want to have.
Bimbette: No, she loves it.
Starbucks
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: I just want my mocha, please
Categories: Baristas | Bimbettes | Jobs & Careers | Maryland | Violence | Posted 2008-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Definitely the Low Point of Any Bon Jovi Concert
Chubby guy on cell: You know it's bad when Bon Jovi shows up.
Target
Westminster, Maryland
Overheard by: JoviFan4Life
Categories: About celebrities | Maryland | Music | On the phone | Posted 2008-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just about Thingamajiggies and Doodads
Sorostitute on cell: Like, I don't know, we hook up every now and then, and we talk... But, like, not about stuff.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Categories: Gossip | Maryland | Relationships | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does This Have Anything to Do with Political Philosophy?
Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell 'tree' chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, 'But the T sounds like a ch--!' and he would say, 'That's because you're a damn foreigner!'
Shout-out: overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Books | Education | Language barrier | Maryland | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You and Your Goddamn Exercise
Father to eight-year-old son in front of paddle boat vendor: No! We have jet skis. Are you kidding me?!
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Y G B S M
Let's Just Say I Felt the Earth Move
Queer #1: I bruised my pelvis once during sex. It was the last time I had sex with a woman. Remember?
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #3: I don't know this story.
Queer #1: Well, to be more exact, I woke up to having sex with a woman. Or, rather, I regained consciousness to discover a woman fucking me. That was the same day as the bulldozer.
Queer #2: You don't have to say anything else for this to be a perfect story.
Queer #3: Wait... A bulldozer?
Wine bar
Baltimore, Maryland
Or When You Have Some Good Weed. Either One.
Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.
Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer
Once Your Testicles Drop, What Else Is There?
Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
What's the Point, If We Can't Break Stuff?
Four-year-old ballerina #1: I need to ask my mom.
Four-year-old ballerina #2: That's good, because my house is crap.
Pre-ballerina: Well, it's not crap -- we just have a lot of crap in it.
Four-year-old ballerina #1: Can I come over to your place and play?
Dance studio
Maryland
Categories: Cleanliness | Kids | Maryland | Posted 2007-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Huffing Is a Privilege, Not a Right
Mom to little boy: Son, come get in this car right now and I'll give you your glue...
Annapolis Mall
Maryland
Overheard by: Lila K
Yeah, Um, We Got the Roses and Chocolates
Teacher during earthquake drill: Guys, if we die right now, I love you!
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Kelsey
Would've Meant More If You'd Had It All with Me
Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: voltaire
Maybe I Should Find a Nice Lesbian and Settle Down
Twink #1: I don't want to just date him for the weekend -- I want something for the rest of my life.
Twink #2: You could die Sunday. That would be the rest of your life.
The Hippo
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Categories: Friends | Maryland | Relationships | Posted 2007-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If So, Have I Got the Portable Fainting Couch for You!
Loud lady to friend: So, have you fallen down in any more parking lots this summer?
Panera Bread
White Marsh, Maryland
Overheard by: just eatin my lunch
Categories: Ladies who lunch | Maryland | Questions | Posted 2007-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Poor Cat Needs Something to Poop On
Queer: ... And I was like, 'Honey, it's not like I have a subscription to Town and Country to look at the dresses!'
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Bubbling Like Hot Oatmeal
Chick: ... So she said, 'Hey, look over here,' and then she opened her gown and, like, all I saw were these weird big boobs...
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Not Anymore, You Don't
Angry mother: Don't do that! [Son screams.] I have friends, you know! You think I would rather be with you than with them?! I have a life!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: K-lee
Stupid Alphabet
Girl #1: That library isn't much help at all.
Girl #2: Yeah, I buy my own books. Libraries are only good for poor people that want to read.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Courtney
If You'll Refer to the Third Bullet-Point on My Resume
Drunk queer: I can pick up a shot glass with my ass!
Outside Grand Central
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
So Put That Thing Away
Five-year-old boy to passing stranger: I ain't yo' baby's mama.
College Park, Maryland
Betty Soon Deconstructed Her Entire Reality
Girl on cell: Wait, what do you mean by downtown? Like, down... in a town?
Goucher College
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Maryland | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or It'll Validate and Reinforce His Behavior. But Still, Sex!
20-ish girl: I know it's stupid since he keeps dicking me around, but I really just want to have sex with him. Maybe if I have sex with him I could hook him!
Friend: You could hook him? Like drugs?
20-ish girl: Yeah! Like, maybe my vagina would be like crack to him...
Bar
Bel Air, Maryland
Always a Pleasure to Meet a Lady from the South
Fluffy, bunny-foo-foo white girl to friend after yoga: Bitch, I ain't eatin' no biscuits 'n' gravy!
Gym
Maryland
Overheard by: amy beth
Moot Point, As It All Leads to Chlamydia and Death. Got It, Kids?
Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we're going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn't that, like, over the phone?
Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture
Sex, Death...
Punk chick #1: Well, it's just... I'm confused...
Punk chick #2: It's okay, it's summer! There are a lot of confusing things in the air, like love... and pollen.
Maryland
Yeah, It's Pretty Much Only Crunchy White Folks These Days
Professor: Are there any Buddhists in this class? Anyone in here a Buddhist? Huh? All these Asians and no Buddhists?!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
A Squirrel?
Ghetto woman, indignantly: And then he told my mama he wanted me to get tested 'cause he didn't think the baby was his!
Ghetto man, outraged: Inconsiderate fuck! It was his, wasn't it?
Ghetto woman: Hell no! I don't know who I be sleeping with! [They laugh.] Bitch, please -- I fuck like a squirrel!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Tiki
The Angel of Midterms Spares Jared
Professor: I've decided to move the midterm to next week, because apparently we are missing a substantial amount of Jews.
Student to friend: Holy crap! Passover just saved my ass!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: BECKEKE
Why Are You Using Mr. Potato Head As an Anatomical Model?
Biology professor: No, penises don't just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Chicken
Because I'm Tired of Being Uncle Walter's
Kid: Mommy, if I were invisible, would I be Daddy's imaginary friend or yours?
Flynn & O'Hara's
Rockville, Maryland
At Least Judging by Your Letters of Reference
White kid #1: Yo, you think he gay?
Black kid: No, I think you gay.
White kid #2: Yo, how did you know?
White kid #1: I blew him, you idiot.
White kid #2: Did he really?
Black kid: I guess you could call it head.
White kid #2: Where was I when that shit went down?
Black kid: I don't know, but you woulda done a better job.
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
For You Cat Lovers, It Was a Dog
Flight attendant over PA after bump during taxi: Don't worry guys, it was just a cat!
Southwest Airlines, BWI airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Airports & flights | Animals | Flight attendants | Maryland | Posted 2007-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Always Time For A Drum Circle
Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It's time for a drum circle.
House of Musical Traditions
Takoma Park, Maryland
Black Sabbath Concert
Teen twink: It was so hard to follow, and then he ate the ferret...
St. Michaels High School
Maryland
Overheard by: MarionC
Mi Gasa Es Su Gasa
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you -- we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That's fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we're even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
Categories: Burping & farting | Maryland | Strangers | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where She's Decreased Thumb-Sucking by 15 Percent
Employee: She was my supervisor at the one daycare... Then they fired her, so now she works for the government.
Target
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: absent
Categories: Employees | Jobs & Careers | Maryland | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude Rule #1: Caught in a Lie? Tell a Bigger One
Chick: Are you sure you're a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That's not my photography hand.
Taber's Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flying Pig
Categories: Compliments | Creepsters | Gossip | Hands | Maryland | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then You Get the Lifetime Channel
Quiet girl: Girls are like, 'Let's play house,' boys are like, 'Let's fight each other,' and you put them together and you get domestic abuse.
Language in Society class
Maryland
Categories: Maryland | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Self-Exam Footage Is Going to Save Lives
Chick: If someone as good-looking as my brother is talking about your vagina, you're doing something right.
Waffle House
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Stephanie
