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Maine All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Maine
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I'm Not Pregnant!
Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than... wait, what?!
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Next Time Put the Message in a Bottle
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there's people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
See --Look at Her Go to Town on That Man's Shoe
Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She'll kiss worse things in her life.
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Family ties | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Kids | Maine | Siblings | Stores | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
2008: Microsoft Pilots MS Office Assistant, "Buzzy the Dildo"
Guy: You know when you do a "Find File" in Windows? Yeah. I want to kill the little animated dog... It bothers me.
Girl: Hahaha... Yeah. It's better than the paperclip.
Guy: Meh... Only because he doesn't pop up unexpectedly. Clippy was kind of cool if he weren't in the way.
Girl: Thats what he wants you to think! He makes you feel bad for hating him!
Guy: Why this makes me want to have an animated kitten running around my desktop, I don't know. I used to have such a program.
Girl: I had a stripper on my laptop. She danced and stripped whenever music came on.
Guy: You're such a closet nympho.
Girl: Yeah. For my dreams class, we have to write all our dreams down and share them with the class. Last night I dreamt I was trekking through a jungle in gold prada heels to find my doctor to get an HIV test. I'm not sure I want the class psychoanalyzing that one.
Portland, Maine
The Technical Term Is "Cellmates"
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn't it be great if you were fucking someone's ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
Categories: Creepsters | Cum | Maine | Sex | Violence | Posted 2008-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Just Very Much in Love. With Crack.
Girl #1, about friend arrested for crack-whoring: She said she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Girl #2: Yeah, right! You don't weigh 85 pounds and have chlamydia because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time!
Hallowell, Maine
Overheard by: smiling widely
Dude, at Denny's That Gets You Free Coffee
Dude: Oh, great. Now I can be the asshole with a unibrow.
Denny's
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: aimc
That Doesn't Work on Mom, and It Sure Doesn't Work on Me!
Five-year-old boy: I don't like that... It doesn't taste good.
Father, picking up frozen dinner: Oh, I'll make it taste good!
Topsham, Maine
Overheard by: Morgan
I Blame the Emergence of the Trapper Keeper
Seven-year-old girl: Yeah, 'cause, like, no one was cool in the '80s.
Super Wal-Mart
Augusta, Maine
Must Be One of Those Quaint Maine Colloquialisms We've Been Hearing About
Nurse: Wow! That's quite some rash you have there.
Patient: Yeah, I feel like a used condom.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: devulgari
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Maine | Nurses | Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Not Having Them
Teacher explaining colonization: It all started with rubbers!
Maine
Overheard by: vampire hunter
Sooner Or Later the Reflexes Start to Go
Hot chick: Trust me, I would know. I'm a retired slut.
Maine
Overheard by: oh really?
Categories: Hoochies | Jobs & Careers | Maine | Posted 2007-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Neatly Packaged in Shrinkwrap
Butcher in bloodstained apron: My soul is pure and untainted.
Supermarket
Portland, Maine
But I Did Get a Call-Back for Cirque du Soleil
Dude #1: I pulled a muscle.
Dude #2, after short pause: How?
Dude #1: Have you ever tried to fuck yourself? It's really hard! I did and pulled a muscle.
Hampden Academy
Maine
Overheard by: Last final
Categories: Getting off | Idiots | Maine | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hope for the Best and Pack a Vibrator
Chick #1: About 20 minutes is good enough.
Chick #2: But what about the pleasure part?
Colby College, Maine
Overheard by: they stopped talking when they saw me listening
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Maine | Questions | Posted 2007-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About
Suit: I can't masturbate to a picture of myself!
Maine
Categories: Maine | Masturbation | Suits | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
