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The Question Every Rock Of Love Contestant Must Eventually Face
College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I'm afraid he's going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?
Grocery Store, Kentucky
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Thanks, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome!
Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You're retarded.
Paducah, Kentucky
Categories: Kentucky | Mental illnesses | Moms | Offspring | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Worry --It Was Completely Consensual
Adult woman to girlfriend's six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know... Boys.
South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky
Categories: Body parts | Euphemisms | Gender issues | Girls | Kentucky | Kids | Kids | Questions | Violence | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anybody Seen Baryshnikov Lately?
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker...I have the feeling I'm about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Is That a Lip-Liner and EpiPen in One?
Hottie: Here ya go -- put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It's not a man-purse! It's a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: ... No.
Hottie: Yeah, right -- it's a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]
Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky
As I Told Your Father When I Proposed to Him
Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.
Wal-Mart
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: shannon
I'm Not Crazy
College guy: So, are you still a maybe-lesbian?
College girl, shrugging: I like penis much better. Chicks are crazy, but if one licks me, I'm not gonna complain if they're hot.
University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky
I Would Love to Have My Groin Knighted, but I Guess It Only Happens to Cows
Lady to husband: Hey, they have steaks here, too. They just call them 'sirloins.'
Applebee's
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Give Him a Break. It's Kentucky.
Man walking through automatic doors: Wow, it's the store of the future. The doors open by themselves!
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Idiots | Kentucky | Technology | Posted 2007-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Okay with This Apartheid?
Kid: I want Skittles.
Mom: We have M&Ms at home. We don't need any more candy.
Kid, after long pause: The Skittles telled me they're lonesome. They want to go home and see their friends, the M&Ms.
Mom: Nice try, but no... Skittles and M&Ms don't frequent the same social circles, anyway.
Kroger
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: He-Man Skittle-Haters Club
In Totally Unrelated News, We'll Never Have to Hear Ashlee Simpson Sing Again.
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh! They only eat dead flesh!
Browser #2: What are you talking about?
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh -- y'know, maggots -- and I found them in my garbage can and they only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh, y'know?
Flea market
Kentucky
Categories: Creepsters | Food | Kentucky | Posted 2007-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Speaker Pelosi Has Finally Had It
Designer suit on cell: No, dude, I talked to her. She's definitely going to call the cops on us.
Kentucky
And That Had Velcro Closures
Mom: Did you see how that girl was pulling that young man across the street? Maybe he was blind.
Daughter: I saw how she was dressed -- he wasn't blind. If he was blind she wouldn't be dressing so slutty. If I dated a blind guy I would wear clothes that were soft.
Louisville, Kentucky
Loser Ends Up in the Trunk
Girl on PA: Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers. We need Dan Smith* to return to automotive for a confrontation on your vehicle.
Wal-Mart
Kentucky
Nobody Expects the Chinese Inquisition
Bimbette #1: I think I did okay on the test, but I didn't get any of the locations.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, they were hard to study for.
Bimbette #1: Yeah, like, I put them all in Asia, and I thought maybe something was wrong. I mean... Madrid sounds Chinese, doesn't it?
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Education | Kentucky | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Can You Think That after All the Threesomes I've Done for You?
Mom to girls at bar: You two are so cute. [To daughter's friend] So, do you swing both ways?
Friend: Uhhh...
Daughter: Just ignore my mother. She's really drunk and thinks I need a date.
Mom: I'm just trying. Do you think I don't care about you?
Louisville, Kentucky
I Used to Wear the Wonderbra, but I Kept Needing to Get Abortions
Sorority girl #1: So, like, you still get your period when you're on the pill.
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, but not when you're pregnant.
Sorority girl #1: So what's the point of the pill, then?
Sorority girl #2: It totally makes your boobs bigger.
Airport
Lexington, Kentucky
Categories: Airports & flights | Gossip | Kentucky | Rack | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some of the Time You're My Favorite Fuck
Drunk girl: 'Fuck' is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: 'Fuck' is not your favorite word. 'Fuck' is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: 'Some of the time' is my favorite word! [Falls over.]
Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Kentucky | Words | Posted 2007-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wonder What She's Thinking Of
Teen girl #1: Do you know what epidermis is?
Teen girl #2: No, but I've heard of it before.
Teen girl #1: What do you think it is?
Teen girl #2: I think it's got something to do with ski lifts.
Breckenridge Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
