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Kansas All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Kansas
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In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme
Stoner #1: ... And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning...
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Drugs | Food | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Kansas | Sensory experiences | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Has Been Selected As Our New State Motto
Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
A Globe Is Quite Another Matter
Professor: There's nothing sexual about this map... For me, at least.
Kansas State University
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Nicole
But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma
Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don't worry, girl, I am listening to yo' hideous self!
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: kerblammerz
His Parents Took Solace in Knowing He Would Be an "Aggressive" Gay
Kid #1, playing with blocks: This robot needs guns!
Kid #2: Pretend his hands are guns. [Pauses, then sings] Everybody dance now!
82nd and State
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: BookVixen
NewsFlash: Gender Confusion More of an Issue in Kansas Than Poor Grammar
Little girl, about sleeping baby sister: Him is sleeping? Him is sleeping?!
Mom, exasperated: No! Her is sleeping!
Kansas
How Intelligent Design Theorists Date
Girl to guy making out with her at bar: So, do you want my phone number?
Guy: If it was meant to be, I'll guess it.
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: The Scandinavian
Categories: Guys | Kansas | Philosophy | Posted 2008-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Our Safety, You'll Need to Stand by with Norton Antivirus
Student #1: Do you need this one?
Student #2: No, I have HIV -- I just need herpes. [Several people turn and stare.] Powerpoints! I need the herpes powerpoint!
Copy room, Library, KU-Med
Kansas
Overheard by: Laughed Assless
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Kansas | Students | Posted 2008-01-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Possibly Just Had Severe Intracranial Pressure
Five-year-old girl, singing nursery rhyme: ... Bumped his head, fell out of bed, couldn't get up in the morning... 'Cause he's dead.
Target
Shawnee, Kansas
Categories: Death & dying | Kansas | Kids | Posted 2008-01-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Once Money's Been Spunt, No One Else Will Touch It
Man: You spunt all our money!
Woman: Fuck you! You spunt the money -- that's who spunt the money!
Wal-Mart
Wichita, Kansas
Kenny Chesney: Cha-Ching!
Tween girl on side of parade route, to old man on John Deere in parade: I think your tractor's sexy.
Stilwell, Kansas
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Compliments | Kansas | Tweens | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Serves Her Right for Trying to Get Birth Control in Kansas
Girl: I just started a new birth control this week.
Dad: Which one were you on before?
Girl: Ummm... Levitra.
Overland Park, Kansas
What Does It Take to Get Kids to Eat Vegetables Nowadays?
Man on cell: Maybe if I painted it white and drew a filter on it, she'd let me put it in her mouth.
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Mark Smith
Categories: Kansas | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Don't Have to Pay for Everything
Mom to 10-year-old son: I can't wait until you're 21 so that you can buy us beers.
T-Bones baseball game
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Teri
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Kansas | Moms | Posted 2007-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Left Mammary in the Corner Pocket
Drunk watching a pool game: You're a retard!
Girl playing pool: I'm a retard? I'm not the one with chalk on my nipples!
Kansas
Exactly Why I Like Being Her Friend
Biotech #1: God, is she being all depressed again?
Biotech #2: Yeah, you know how she is. She just needs a guy to pay attention to her.
Biotech #1: She just needs to stop being friends with girls who are hotter than she is.
Lawrence, Kansas
Oh, Oh, Did I Say That Out Loud?
Eight-year-old boy to self while looking at China teapots: I just love the stuff in here. It's so breakable -- that's what's great about it. That, and it's shiny.
500 Shawnee Street
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Kansas | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
