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Homie Also Has a Hard Time on Armed Forces Career Day
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler... and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Categories: Body parts | Death & dying | Education | Hawaii | Health & Hygiene | Students | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Just Like the Magician Did Yesterday
Three-year-old girl, emerging from woods near campsite: Mommy, there are sticks in my pee hole.
Mommy: That's okay honey, just pull them out.
Kalalau Valley
Kauai, Hawaii
I'm All A-Tingle in My Bad Places.
Young hipster guy to another: You're so pretty when you're pretty!
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Iwalei
There Was a Flier in There from a Jimmy Carter Rally
Woman, putting bag on table for security: Ugh, it's really messy, I really need to clean it...I'm sorry.
Security: Ma'am, we're not grading them. (finishes looking through bag) But if we were, I'd give it a c minus.
Hillary Clinton Rally
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Kendal
Categories: Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Feelings | Hawaii | Women | Posted 2009-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dad's a Committed Mythical Traditionalist
Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Hey, You Try to Negotiate the Aisles While Applying Eyeliner
Female flight attendant (managing to bump beverage cart into a seat): Whoops, sorry! Woman driver!
Flight over Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Flight attendants | Gender issues | Hawaii | Women | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Look--Just Watch the Video and Let Me Know What You Think
Man on cell (angrily): Your sister keeps jerking me off... Well, not me, but your mother.
University of Hawaii, Hilo
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Guys | Hawaii | Masturbation | On the phone | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Odds Are You Still Aren't Paying Attention
Flight attendant, concluding pre-flight safety spiel: For those of you who paid attention: Thank you. And for those of you who did not: Good luck.
International Airport
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Eric Dean
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Euphemisms | Hawaii | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or the Word "Dyke" Ever Again
Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm... Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so... Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America's dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn't use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
Baby Needs a New Pair of Clear Heels
Hooker: Hey baby, you looking for a good time?
Guy: Haha, hell no.
Hooker: Fine. All right then. Next!
Waikiki, Hawaii
I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course, I Still Don't Know If He's Really David Hasselhoff
Teen girl #1: I really feel like our relationship is progressing. There's a closeness that wasn't there before.
Teen girl #2: Awww, really?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he added me on MySpace.
Hawaii
Overheard by: Invisible
