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It Can't Be Worse Than That Burger, Right?
Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!
American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Emily
Just Like the Tag Promises!
Older lady: This purse is perfect! It has two outside pockets! One for my phone and one for my teeth!
TJ Maxx
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Interesting Use for a Purse Pocket
Categories: Body parts | Georgia | Old folks | Shopping | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Were Also Squirt Guns!
Girl to another: It was a gay bicycle riders' party, complete with gayish celebration music and lots of champagne corks popping. And by the looks of the constant make-out and groping sessions, I'm pretty sure those bottles weren't the only cylindrical things spewing liquids last night.
Atlanta, Georgia
Who Wouldn't Miss the Creepy, Animatronic Way in Which He Solicited Your "Friendship"?
20-something guy to friends: Yeah, I had a Teddy Ruxpin and I loved it but it made me feel sorta weird having it in my room and stuff, so I sold it on eBay. I regretted it instantly.
Atlanta, Georgia
Well They're Part Silicon
Dude at bar: And they're real housewives? That's awesome!
The Highlander
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor
And Hopefully You'll Have Fewer Trackmarks.
Seven-year-old: Mommy, why is that man going under the train?
40-something woman: Because, sweetie, he works there.
Seven-year-old: He works under the train?
40-something woman: Yes, sweetie.
Seven-year-old: When I get older I wanna work under a train.
40-something woman: Nice, maybe you can pay for my funeral. Not like your older brother...
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Malina
Categories: Death & dying | Georgia | Jobs & Careers | Kids | Moms | Money | Questions | Posted 2011-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: She Won't Leave Her Husband for Me
Lesbian, about ex girlfriend: I mean, the only thing liberal about her is she's gay.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Lesbos | Politics | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus I Can't Color-coordinate a Window-Valence Worth a Darn!
60-year-old drunk in bar: The only reason I've never tried being gay is because I'm afraid I might like it.
Sandy Springs, Georgia
Overheard by: Me too...
Good Luck Filling My Cup, Sir
Male customer: Since you're new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn't so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I'll give you something hard... Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
Categories: Baristas | Customers | Etiquette | Euphemisms | Georgia | Offers and requests | Questions | Posted 2010-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone Wants Into My Oval Office
Girl to another: If I end up having gotten knocked up during the presidential debates, I'm going to be fucking pissed.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
I'd Hoped to Outgrow My Vanity, Too
80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true... I just didn't want to bring my cane.
Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped
Categories: Age and ageing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Georgia | Maladies | Old folks | Posted 2010-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...No Offense If Your Parents Are in Prison, Keisha.
Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)
Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia
Overheard by: MJH
But They Have Frosting!
Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they're... disgustingly poisonous!
Carrollton, Georgia
Overheard by: Kez
To Explain, Here's Elmo With the Aphabet Song
Teen girl to another, while browsing CDs: Like, alphabetical order is so confusing.
Music Store
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Justin
Georgia Lesbians Do Not Play
Teen girl in dept. store: I need to buy her a present, but it can't be jewelry. She doesn't like jewelry. She likes weapons.
Gainesville, Georgia
And My Analyst Will Hold You While I Do So
Man on cell: I've never shown hostility towards women, but if you ever call that transvestite my mother, I will beat you senseless.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Family ties | Gender issues | Georgia | Guys | On the phone | Parenting | Threats | Violence | Posted 2010-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Been Told Exactly Enough to Procreate, but No More
Girl looking at drawing in journal: Oh my god, is that a scrotum?
Guy: No! (concerned) Are you a virgin?
Atlanta, Georgia
A Lot Of Us Are Asking Ourselves This About Mel Gibson.
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Georgia | Insults | On the phone | Women | Posted 2010-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, We Will Be Running Around in Diapers Before We Know It.
Older woman: Want to go see the movie Babies tonight at 7:30?
Older man: Mmmmmmmmmmmm...
Older woman: It's too late for it to inspire us!
Coffee Shop
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Greg
Then Maya Angelou Bitch-Slapped That Opinion Out Of Me
Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: "you know niggas can't read!"
Georgia
Nobody Expects a Gay Guy to Carry a Speculum
Gay guy: Give me a sip of your drink!
Girl: No!
Gay guy: Give me a sip or I'll bite your cervix!
Military College
Georgia
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Drinking & drunks | Georgia | Girls | Offers and requests | Queers | Threats | Violence | Posted 2010-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Because Most Of You Got That Wrong on the Midterm.
US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!
Georgia State University
Overheard by: Kat
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Georgia | Masturbation | Teachers | Posted 2010-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is This Sexual Harassment? Discuss.
Male English teacher to female student: You know, for the last 30 minutes I've been thinking of... The holy city that is your face.
High School
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: ShouldThisBeReported?
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Education | Georgia | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You Talking About Elephants?
Guy #1: Put them in the back seat. I've got a bunch of junk in my trunk... Excuse the double meaning.
Guy #2: Double meaning?
Guy #1: I've got junk in my trunk.
Guy #2: I don't get it.
Guy #1: Never mind.
Kroger Parking Lot
Athens, Georgia
Some Men Wait Their Whole Lives to Hear That
Slightly tipsy girl at party: Hi, I'm Liz. (pause) Oh, I like your ears.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Georgia | Girls | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Usually I'm Able to Draw a Whole Unicorn Galaxy
Girl: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything. All I could do in my last class was draw a unicorn!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Christina
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Georgia | Girls | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest Episode Of Sesame Street *Ever*
30-something black man on cell: I don't know if I'll finish in time, but I think I can still make it work.
20-something black guy walking past: It's "ain't". As in "I ain't gonna get this shit done, so fuck all y'all!" Damn! You talkin' like a fool, brotha. (shakes head)
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Education | Georgia | On the phone | Race | Words | Posted 2010-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Georgia | On the phone | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It'll Go Great with Your Whine
Mother to toddler son, looking at cheese display: Look, charlie, Gruyere! Can you say "Gruyere"?
Whole Foods
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: GruyereLover
At the Time, I Considered a March on Washington.
Girl to friend: The Oscars don't really mean shit. I mean, personally, I feel it was a crime when they overlooked Eddie Vedder for best supporting actor in singles.
Atlanta, Georgia
Oh Honey, We Feel You.
Little boy, desperately: I need to get out of here!
Kohl's Fitting Rooms
Georgia
Overheard by: Iris
Which, BTW, Would Be a Great Rapper Name
White guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it "Ty"?
Asian guy: No, it's "Tee," as in "teabagging."
White guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?
Asian guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said "sweet tea."
Atlanta, Georgia
Kindly Accept This Sperm As a Token Of My Sincerity
Art school hipster girl, in the middle of different conversation: Oh my god! I got my goddamned hair cut yesterday!
Art school hipster guy: I was gonna say in the car!
(art school hipster girl smiles with crazy eyes and mouth agape)
Art school hipster guy: No, seriously... It is so fresh.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Compliments | Georgia | Hair | Hipsters | Students | Posted 2009-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Love Good Old-Fashioned Southern Courtship
Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there--you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia
When Rappers Teach Geography
Girl to friends: Fuck Europe! I got Tanzania all up on my ass!
Atlanta, Georgia
In the Sense That It's Propping Up My Coffee Table
DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!
Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
And Never Underestimate Their Surgical Dexterity
Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He's so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Flight attendants | Georgia | Health & Hygiene | Internet | Kids | Pilots | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does Licking Count?
Girl in grocery store: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: What?
Girl: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: Is that a trick question?
Athens, Georgia
For the Same Reason the Tampon Ads Spare Us the Gory Details
Older woman, watching Viagra tv commercial: Why don't they ever show the guy from the waist down with a big ol' boner?
Airport
Atlanta, Georgia
In My Defense, I Only Cheated on Her with Non-Humans.
Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Infidelity | Military | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Been Eating My Words a Lot Lately
Professor, discussing types of fat: Babies aren't fat like... (points at a fat girl) No, I don't want to say that... like my tummy.
University of Georgia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Georgia | Stomach | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Preparing Me for the Cattiness Of Academia
Statistics teacher: There is a correlation between cats and happiness. Cats make people happy. But not all cats. I still have nightmares about some cats. When I was a little girl, there was this cat, Greta, who lived outdoors. I wanted to pet her, but she scratched up my whole arm and got her claws into my protoplasm!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Georgia | Happiness | Kids | Memory lane | Teachers | Violence | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Okay, Love You Too, Grandma. Bye.
iPod girl on cell: I'm eating lunch and listening to lesbian music. (pause) Yeah, The L Word soundtrack. I'm working on becoming a lesbian again. (laughs) I'm just kidding. I'm still gonna drive stick. (pause) That's what happens when you're a cock whore. You can't just give it up cold turkey.
Atlanta, Georgia
And Then I'll Have to French-Kiss You, in a "Thank-You-for-Smacking-Me" Kind Of Way
Marine #1, on plane: Since you got the window seat, I might lean my head on your shoulder for part of this flight. Not in a gay way, more in a I'm-tired-and-want-to-lean-my-head-on-something kind of way.
Marine #2: Alright, but I might have to smack you. Not in an I-hate-you kind of way, more in a get-your-head-off-my-damn-shoulder kind of way.
Airplane
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Body parts | Georgia | Military | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Threats | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, It's Hot in Here
Professor: When I tell people I'm an English professor they always ask what my favorite word is. You know what I tell them? "Fuck" is my favorite word. Also, "lackadaisical." How about "lackadaisical fuck"? (laughs)
Gordon College
Barnesville, Georgia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Georgia | Insults | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Romeo and Ghouliet or A Midsummer Night's Scream
Girl to guy: Most Shakespeare works could have totally been done with zombies!
Kennesaw State University, Georgia
Overheard by: Dr. Hypokrit
Wow. Suddenly I Loathe Myself.
Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah...
Tattoo artist: It's just like that, except you're the girlfriend.
Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Clarissa St. Tacocrotch
The First English Settlers Called It "Feculanta"
British guy on cell: Ugh! I just stuck my umbrella in something that resembles feces!
MARTA
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Guys | On the phone | Poop | Words | Posted 2009-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Available in a Wide Variety Of Sizes and Colors
Girl #1: You're too horny for your own good. Why don't you just get a dildo?
Girl #2: Why would I want a dildo when I can just get the real thing whenever I want?
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Hank
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Georgia | Girls | Questions | Sex | Toys | Wishes | Posted 2009-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Former Kindergarten Teachers Make Quite Efficient Hobos
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
You Don't Have a Dog, Sir.
Old man: I'll have two scoops of chocolate raspberry truffle in a waffle cone, and a baby cone for my dog. He's the one who made us stop here.
Brusters Ice Cream
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Vegan to the End
College girl: Yeah, she had dried cranberries and lettuce in her coffin too.
Atlanta, Georgia
On the Way Home, She Drove Up on a Curb Going Two Miles an Hour.
Soccer mom who was just given champagne by lady doing her nails: This is my first drink in ten months! Oh my god, I'm buying some of this on my way home!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Georgia | Moms | Offers and requests | Women | Posted 2009-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't We Just, Like, Phone It In?
College boy #1: Like what does that mean? I don't go to class! Do you go to class?
College boys #2 and #3: No!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: On my way to class
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Georgia | Guys | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Musical Chairs?
Guy: It's all just an elaborate excuse to teabag someone!
Sandy Springs, Georgia
Wouldn't Steel Birkenstocks Be Uncomfortable?
Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!
Georgia Tech
Overheard by: YellowJacketGals
Categories: Default | Drunks | Georgia | Girls | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Technology | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin
Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.
Mall
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: girl with the magical booty
He's Really More Of a Northerner
Crazy man #1: Are you from Mexico or Switzerland?
Crazy man #2: I am from Georgia! From the mountains.
Crazy man #1: North Georgia?
Crazy man #2: No, the mountains.
Crazy man #1: Are you friends with Santa Claus?
Crazy man #2: No, me and Santa don't get along.
Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Crazies | Default | Geography | Georgia | Guys | Questions | Santa Claus | Train | US Geography | Posted 2009-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But, Oddly Enough, Nine Months Later Sean Preston Was Born
Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy.
Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Feelings | Food | Georgia | Pregnancy | Relationships | Smoking | Women | Posted 2009-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If One More Person Asks Me That Today...
Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
Molly Ringwald Was the Mandy Moore Of Her Day
Hipster girl to friend, looking at DVDs: Hey, you know my friend Stephanie, whose boyfriend I made out with, Corey? His favorite movie was A Walk to Remember. He admitted it and everything.
Hipster friend, touching hipster friend's head: You have a really soft scalp.
Hipster girl: That means I'll never lose my hair. Oh! The Breakfast Club!
Edgewood Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't make out with him
Categories: Body parts | Default | Friends | Georgia | Girls | Hair | Hipsters | Movies | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2009-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How The Wizard Of Oz Became a Navy Training Film: Explained
Midshipman: It's midgets, sir.
Skeptical lieutenant: Is it like albino midgets or something?
Midshipman: No, sir, regular midgets.
Skeptical lieutenant: Oh well...okay, then.
NROTC Classroom
Atlanta, Georgia
Only Lightly Misting on Shirtless, Muscley Ones
British lit professor, on gays: I have honestly never seen it rain on a gay person. Never. Not once in my life.
Georgia State Lit Class
Bears Are Pretty Much Recession-Proof
Random guy in bandanna to random guy with afro: So, would you rather go ahead and get your Bachelor's...or become a bear?
Student Center
Georgia Tech
Overheard by: Mollie
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Georgia | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2009-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And We Hope Our Passengers in First Class Enjoy the Foxy Boxing
Flight attendant: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1751 to Raleigh-Durham. My name is John and I am your head flight attendant today. I will be assisted by my lovely fiancee Sarah and my ex-wife Jill. It may be a little awkward but we hope you have a pleasant flight.
Runway
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Flight attendants | Georgia | Guys | Names | Plane | Public Transportation | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Now Regret Having Deforested It
Girl to friend: My pussy's like a rain forest--dark, moist and full of mystery.
The Earl
Atlanta, Georgia
I Have It on My Resume, Under "Hobbies"
Woman: I orgasmed here once.
Friend, cheerfully: Oh, I've done that several times!
James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Annissa
Categories: Compare and contrast | Cum | Default | Friends | Georgia | Memory lane | Women | Posted 2009-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Day's Another Annoying Gift
Bitchy student: So, are you still married?
Innocent victim: Yeah. Yeah I am!
Bitchy student: Uh huh. And just how long do you think that will last??
Kennesaw State University
Georgia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Georgia | Questions | Relationships | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Get Kidnapped, What Happens to the Child Support, Huh?
Woman to child: I'm not responsible for knowing where you are. It's not my job to watch you. You need to be responsible and know where I'm at.
Aquarium
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Really?
Categories: Advice | Default | Georgia | Jobs & Careers | Kids | Tourist attractions | Women | Posted 2009-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong--like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
It's Like a Headline Writer's Wet Dream
College guy: This must be a joke. We live in a city called "Cumming," we have a store called "BJ's," and a store called "Dick's," and a "Siemens" water tower.
Cumming, Georgia
I Always Expect It to Be More Fun Than It Actually Is
Girl to friends: I've got visions of blowjobs dancing in my head!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Holly
Along With "Old Too Soon" and "Smart Too Late"
Decked-out tarot card reader, eyes closed, acting all mystical: I'm getting the feeling of a friend, a female presence that seems to be around you quite often. I get this feeling, this strong feeling, that she tries to help you in certain ways but her help isn't the good kind. For some reason, a phrase keeps popping in my head. This one phrase.
Drunk seated hipster girl: What is it?
Tarot card reader: The words (dramatic pause) "party too hard."
Alcove Gallery
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Body parts | Counselors | Default | Drunks | Feelings | Georgia | Girls | Hipsters | Questions | Posted 2009-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Be Departing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off
Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.
American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Georgia | Music | Nipples | Offers and requests | Pilots | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Demonstrated in The Rise and Rise Of the Roman Empire
Mom with two kids getting on escalator: Tommy, do you know what this is called? This is an escalator.
Tommy: Escalator.
Mom: Do you know what the opposite of "escalate" is?
(Tommy remains silent)
Mom: Elevate!
Airport
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Guys | Kids | Kids | Moms | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hook Me Up?
Guy #1: Is your aunt gonna get a divorce?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Niiiice.
Walton High School
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: nezu!
Categories: Compliments | Default | Family ties | Georgia | Guys | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since They Haven't Yet Arrested You for Wearing That Silly Human Suit
High girl #1: I mean, they can't arrest me for walking around in a gorilla suit, can they?
High girl #2: No, dude, I don't think so.
Georgia College & State University
At the Family Therapist's, She'll Swear That Was a Term of Endearment
Hyperactive four-year-old: I want ice cream! I want ice cream!
Frumpy mother: Go away, my hair is going to fall all over you.
Hyperactive four-year-old: I don't care! I want ice cream! I'm taking your purse!
Frumpy mother: Ryan, if you touch my purse, I'm spanking you! Now go away, you're annoying me!
Hyperactive four-year-old: No, I'm not, are you kidding me?
Frumpy mother (mumbling): You little rodent.
Hyperactive four-year-old: I am not!
Hair Salon
Cumming, Georgira
Overheard by: Caylin
Categories: Default | Food | Georgia | Moms | Offers and requests | Should have used a condom | Threats | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But, in the End, He Let Us Both Graduate
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Girls | Hipsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is the Same Girl Who Checks Out the Basement in Horror Movies
Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.
Atlanta, Georgia
The Peril Of Having Access to Unlimited Loaves and Fishes
Irate woman, commenting on depiction of Jesus at the Sidewalk Art Festival: He was so fat I couldn't even focus on the fact he was supposed to be Jesus.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Georgia | Jesus | Women | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haven't We Established That It's 42?
Dopey girl: I once figured out the secret of life.
Friend: Really? What?
Dopey girl: You see, that's the problem.
Friend: What do you mean?
Dopey girl: I forgot it.
Friend: Well, that sucks.
Dopey girl: Yeah. I would've made a lot of money off of that too.
Friend: Well, if it comes back to you...
Dopey girl: Oh--don't worry. You'll be the first to know.
Running Track
Loganville, Georgia
The Training Begins in the Womb
Drunk guy: Excuse me assholes, pregnant woman coming through.
Drunk pregnant wife: I fell down the stairs yesterday, my baby is like one of the warriors from 300.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: MN
Gotta Give Senator McCain Points for Persistence, Though
Guy to friend: He had to make a PowerPoint presentation about making PowerPoint presentation. And I had to walk him through it.
Manuel's Tavern
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Friends | Georgia | Guys | Technology | Posted 2008-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Another Disturbing Episode Of The Nail Files
Little boy, stopping in front of a nail salon, horrified: Mommy, what are they doing to these people?!
Wal-Mart
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: nezuzu
Oh, the Hora! The Hora!
Queer #1: I remember you! Are you Jewish?
Queer #2: No! I'm from Charleston!
Gay Strip Club
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Oh, thank god!
All the Other Times I Didn't Need the Vodka
Hipster girl: I wasn't invited to the wedding but maybe I'll go anyway. I could be your date. Who knows, maybe you'll even score.
Guy: Shit, all I have to do is give you two vodka sodas and point you to a pool and I'll score. Easy.
Hipster girl: One time that happened. One time.
Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Georgia | Girls | Guys | Hipsters | Relationships | Sexuality | Train | Posted 2008-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Puberty Should Be Fun
Precocious five-year-old girl: Lipstick! Lipstick! I want lipstick!
Harried mother: Okay, fine, you can pick out one lip gloss. But your father will get really mad if he finds out, because he says...
Precocious five-year-old girl: I know, he says, "we shouldn't waste money, blah blah blah..."
Target Cosmetics Section
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, "I want my pigeons!" But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world's problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Birds | Default | Georgia | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Davis Found Himself in the Middle of a Drunken Samurai Movie
Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.
Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Holly
Categories: Clothes | Default | Drinking & drunks | Georgia | Guys | Questions | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Usually They Just Ask Us to Keep the Blood Splatter to a Minimum
Lady on cell pumping gas): Y'know, even when he picked up the knife, I just didn't expect the cops to get involved...
Shell Gas Station
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Just filling my tank, thanks
Mostly Because My Mouth Is Full of Flaccid Flesh
Guy to friend: What you should've said was, "Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!"
Decatur, Georgia
He's Like, "Could You Point That Shotgun Away from Me?"
Man on cell: So I told the guy, "Your current girlfriend is my wife."
Mall
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Default | Georgia | Guys | Infidelity | Malls | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2008-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Speak From Experience
Guy: I wonder why they don't make "ribbed for her pleasure" Magnums.
Girl: Because if your shit's that big to need a Magnum, it's already her pleasure.
CVS
Atlanta, Georgia
As the Priest Recommended for Penance
Blonde 20-something #1: I feel awful.
Blonde 20-something #2: Yeah, I'm drinking a beer and then going to church.
Bagel Shop
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Christianity | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Georgia | Girls | Posted 2008-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Obviously Not
Student #1: I have to go to class.
Student #2: Which one?
Student #1: Quantum physics.
Student #2: Is that where you go back in time to set right what once went wrong?
Georgia Southern University
Overheard by: Sydney
...Okay, Now You're Just Doing It on Purpose
Mother in bathroom stall with four-year-old son: No, no, you're peeing on mommy. Aim lower! Aim lower!
Chili's
Augusta, Georgia
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Georgia | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Pee | Posted 2008-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Ronald Reagan Was Our Greatest President!" Haha!
Professor: Will someone please close the door? I don't want anyone else to hear the stupid things I say. Oh, wait, I have tenure now--I don't care if they hear me saying stupid things!
Georgia State University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Georgia | Jobs & Careers | Offers and requests | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seriously, How Do You People Live There Without Giggling?
Soccer mom: I'm sorry, but if I were your neighbor, I would not share an opossum with you!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Jeffrey the Giraffe Went Chuck Norris on Us
Punk kid to friend arriving in mom's minivan: Dude, you missed it! We just got kicked out of Toys "R" Us! It was so awesome!
Outside Movie Theatre
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Crimes | Georgia | Memory lane | Punks | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Perhaps We'll Hear the Pitter Patter of Tiny Sheets
Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.
Wal-Mart
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Annissa
Categories: Default | Family ties | Georgia | Memory lane | Moms | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Tend to Appear at Random, Rather Like Elves.
Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.
Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Food | Georgia | Girls | Memory lane | Restaurants | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even If He Does Host The O'Reilly Factor
Girl to friends: I'm 31 years old, for Christ's sake. My mom doesn't get it. I'm too fucking old to get excited about some guy that pisses himself, calls me up and acts like it's a fucking achievement.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Family ties | Georgia | Girls | Gripes | Pee | Posted 2008-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not the First Time He's Had to Clarify That Today
Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car's loudspeaker): I'm not a motherfucker.
University of Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Anne
Which Just Means It's Ripe
Girl on cell: She said that she used her vibrator so much last week, she thought her vagina was going to swell up and fall off.
Walmart
Atlanta, Georgia
Or Do I Have to Play That Bobby McFerrin Song Again?
Mother to quietly weeping child: Can't you just... be happy?
Target Parking Lot
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Happiness | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can They Still Call It Martha Stewart Living?
Girl on cell: Wait... Wait! You're telling me she's not a zombie? You mean she's actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Default | Georgia | Girls | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since It Conflicted with Their Weekly Swingers' Parties
Soccer mom #1: Is Cindy* coming?
Soccer mom #2: No, she broke up with Steve* today.
Soccer mom #1: She broke up with Steve*? Why?
Soccer mom #2: She called him and told him she wanted to play mixed doubles tennis, and he just lost it.
LA Fitness Locker Room
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Categories: Georgia | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Freud: I'm Not Even Sure What She Wants
Girl #1: Yeah, that's not cool, but I understand. He sounds very immature.
Girl #2: He is. It's such a shame. I laid in bed last night reminiscing about the time I spent with him in bed. It's like I can still feel it. Too bad he's such an asshole, and too bad that good dick makes me so... not able to accept what a douchebag a guy really is.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Feelings | Georgia | Girls | Gripes | Insults | Penis | Relationships | Sex | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight
Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Specifically, a Fatty Boombalatty
Guy: I learned something... What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.
Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia
Categories: Dads | Diet & weight | Family ties | Georgia | Offspring | Questions | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Asked Was, "Does That Come with Fries?"
Light-skinned black woman: I'm just saying, I'd have been in the home and not in the fields.
Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Georgia | History | Jobs & Careers | Race | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God: Suddenly I'm Getting All the Attention I Deserve
Professor, whispering: What is god doing with female breasts?
Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
I'd Love to See That Resume
Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is "Salad tosser"?
Arby's Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Employees | Euphemisms | Food | Georgia | Guys | Licking | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, That Self-Actualization Seminar Was a Bust
Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
I'm Fairly Aquiver with Anticipation
BBW: You wouldn't want to see me in pretzel-formation.
Skinny man: How would you know?
BBW: I mean it. You really wouldn't want to see me in pretzel-formation. It's not very pretty to watch. It gets stuck easily that way.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Categories: Advice | Default | Fat people | Georgia | Gripes | Skinny people | Posted 2008-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
'Cause, Hey, They Earned It
Professor: Usually people ride donkeys to the top of the mountain because it's really steep. Afterwards, you can go down on the donkeys, too, if you'd like.
Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
All Those Childhood Years of Only Doing It Missionary...
Guy : So, I was fooling around with your sister that night at the bar, and she was like--
Friend: --Dude, be careful. She's probably out of control in bed. You know -- sheltered life...
Atlanta, Georgia
That's My Poodle's Ass.
Disembodied male voice: That is not my ass!
Borders
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
That Is Correct.
Teacher: Did you hear Germany got a new polar bear?
German exchange student: Shiza!
Guy: What's wrong with polar bears?
German exchange student: Ugh... You have no idea.
Grady High School
Atlanta, Georgia
I'm Sick of Looking for a Place to Keep My Purse When I Go Out
Girl #1: I fucked in the ass last night for the first time.
Girl #2: Did it hurt?
Girl #1: Nope! But this morning when I shit it did! I think my hole got bigger!
Girl #2: That is sick!
Girl #1: You're just jealous!
Girl #2: Maybe a little.
Augusta, Georgia
Boys Are So Frightened of Wolf Titties
Sorority girl: Yeah, he like, totally judges me for having fourteen nipples.
Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Nipples | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, Just Look at Those Raggedy-Ass Sneakers
Black kindergartener to white teacher: You know, before you were my teacher, I didn't know white people could be poor.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Georgia | Kids | Money | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But All You Have Are Seven Cats and a Yarn Collection!
Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can't give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can't just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I'm keeping you out of the will!
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Georgia | Gripes | Kids | Kids | Money | Old folks | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Brand Recognition Is So Important
Girl: In case they forget our names, they're right here on our vaginas.
1280 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Just Taking a Vacation from the Metric System
Guy, seeing a techno dance party: Hey! Are you guys in the circus?
Hippie kid with dreads #1: Fuck no!
Hippie kid with dreads #2: No, we're Canadian.
Atlanta, Georgia
If the Civic's A-Rockin', Don't Bother Knockin' -- Come On In!
Normal student: So, it looks like the five of us will go in the Honda Civic. The back seat will be a bit tight.
Skinny student: I'll sit back there. I'm used to being packed in the back.
College dining hall
Georgia
Overheard by: Still remember
So There Are Only a Few Girls He Can Physically Have Sex With
20-ish girl on cell: No, he's not gay! He's just really, really tall...
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: Sidlee
Categories: Georgia | Gossip | On the phone | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And It's Scalding -- That Can't Be a Good Sign
Big black lady spilling drink on herself: Oops, I done baptized myself.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Cleanliness | Georgia | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just because He Likes His Pork Pulled?
Hipster girl: He eats pork, but he won't eat pussy. He's a really bad Jew.
Ponce de Leon Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I'm a vegetarian
I Hope to Be the Best Piece of Ash She's Ever Had
Old hillbilly: I love my old lady so much, I told her that when I die, I want her to cremate me, put me in a douche bag and give me one more go 'round...
Athens, Georgia
I Wet the Bed One Too Many Times
Woman: My sister and I slept together in the same bed until we were three. That was when she tried to light the house on fire.
Dalai Lama public speech, Olympic Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Alice
Categories: Chicks | Family ties | Georgia | Gossip | Posted 2007-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind with Compassion Supplements in Every Bite?
Fireman: Yeah, so we were all standing around waiting for this suicidal guy to do whatever, and then we got hungry.
Girlfriend: So what did you all do?
Fireman: We went back to the station and made hot dogs.
Girlfriend: What about the guy?
Fireman: I mean, the cops were still there, and we got back before anything happened. Or, well, before anything eventful happened.
Girlfriend: What kind of hot dogs were they?
Target line
Atlanta, Georgia
Grandma Brought Me the Wrong Bag Lunch
Chick: I got, like, suspended three times in five days.
Coworker: I only got suspended once, but that was just 'cause I cut this bitch with a razor.
Chick, to customer: Thank you, sir.
McDonald's
Dunwoody, Georgia
Overheard by: blur
And They're Useless Against Alligators
Two-year-old boy, admiring his hands instead of the alligators: Look, Dad -- look at my nails!
Grimacing father: Yes, yes... Your mother is to blame for that.
Atlanta Zoo
Georgia
Categories: Dads | Georgia | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Posted 2007-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Tittyfucking Thing, Mom
Teen girl to mom: ... And that's why I have a big boyfriend -- because I have big tits.
Walmart
Georgia
Are You Going to Tell Me This Story or Not?
Man #1: I seen Jimmy the other day cuttin' grass at my brother's.
Man #2: Which brother?
Man #1: How many brothers I got?
Man #2: Two.
Man #1: Well, which one of 'em gets their grass cut by Jimmy?
McDonough, Georgia
Overheard by: lesley arango
Have You Been Watching FOX Again?
Eight-year-old girl: Asians are ruining everything.
Mother: What?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, the Japanese, the Chinese -- they ruin everything.
Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Moms | Race | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If All of the Raindrops / Were Lemon Drops and Crack Rocks / Oh, What a World This Would Be
Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will... rain crack.
Atlanta, Georgia
When the Line Is Really Long
Little girl pointing to handicapped sink: Mommy, do you know what that's for?
Mom: It's a sink for people in wheelchairs, honey.
Little girl: No! It's where boys pee!
Bathroom, JCPenney's
Forest Park, Georgia
Overheard by: Kelly
Unlike Nose Sex, Where It's Just Everywhere
Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it's warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!
High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend
Categories: Backdoor | Creepsters | Georgia | Gossip | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Couldn't I Do That without Getting Married?
Chick to friend: You should marry a fish! Then you can have sex and have mermaid babies!
High school
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: me
Although I Have Enough Beaded Necklaces to Last Me the Rest of My Life
Angry girl to man: No! It was when you pulled down the top of my dress and exposed my breasts to everyone that it became a problem!
North Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Lisa
Too Drunk to Hit On? Or Just Drunk Enough?
Woman: I don't keep any money in my billfold. You know, in case I lose it. So, what's your favorite Bible verse?
Macaroni Grill
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: onethingleadstoanother
Miss Jenkins, I See You've Cited "Big Jim Slade" As a Primary Source
Female classics major: My advisers are all men, and the youngest is, like, 45. And my thesis is on desire. It's like, I don't know what a male orgasm feels like. I don't even know what a female orgasm feels like!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
I Was Just Holding That Wall for a Friend
Lady hobo: Man, you is the biggest crackhead I ever met.
Giant hobo, muttering incoherently: No, man, I ain't no crackhead. I ain't no crackhead.
Lady hobo: Nigga, you smoke drywall!
Atlanta, Georgia
One of Sisyphus's Lesser-Known Tasks in Hell
Woman on cell: I got a million panty liners. You can line your panties until the end of time!
Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Gossip | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
