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Did You Really Just Say That?
Guy #1: I've been talking to this chick lately. It's kinda awkward, her last boyfriend killed himself, she found him dangling on the noose. What do I say to that?
Guy #2: Tell her you're well-hung.
Delaware
Overheard by: Dave
Categories: Death & dying | Delaware | Guys | Relationships | Words | Posted 2011-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Only One Game in Town and It's Rigged, Dude
Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
Ad: He's Back, and This Time It's Very Personal
Girl on phone: When you get to the game room, don't sit next to Jesus, he's watching porn.
Georgetown, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate
Categories: Delaware | Girls | Jesus | On the phone | Porn | Posted 2010-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About Menstruation!
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, "electromagnetic waves"! That's a fancy way of saying "magic."
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
These Are the Moments They'll Cherish Forever
Mom to six-year-old daughter: Naiya, you better not be swimming in that toilet, or I will punch you in the neck!
Restaurant Bathroom
Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Neighbor
Categories: Body parts | Delaware | Family ties | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Restaurants | Restroom | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost As Great As "O Hanukah" on Kazoo
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard "Dreidel, dreidel " played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Delaware | Guys | Music | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, I'm Twelve.
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Guys | On the phone | Pity | Posted 2009-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...When Everyone Knows the Point Of Sex Is to Tone One's Abs.
Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Terrance Williams
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Delaware | Masturbation | Orgasm | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2009-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...What's Your Thesis Advisor Like?
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Sex | Posted 2009-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Like That Girl Over There, in the Second Row
Sociology professor: The world is fundamentally the same as 100 years or so. Fathers back then were worried about their daughters listening to the radio. Now, they worry about them "sexting" on their BlackBerrys!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Who is sexting?
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Delaware | Family ties | Gadgets | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Do You Stand on Blinking V. Gatorade?
College student: I think I hate sleep more than I hate Snapple.
University of Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Students | Posted 2009-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Juggled Them While Drinking a Glass Of Water
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Euphemisms | Girls | Sex | Students | Posted 2009-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise
Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I forgot to ask him if he's gay!
Girl #2: But you don't even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I've lost my chance...I'll wonder for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I'm old and gray, I'll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I'll try to ask him...and he'll be already on the bus, and I'll never know.
Girl #2: You're kind of a freak.
University of Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Girls | Public Transportation | Questions | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Told My Boyfriend He'd Done It and Kicked Him Out
Girl #1: I was sooo drunk. I woke up and there was shit all over the rug.
Girl #2: That's not good.
Girl #1: Yeah, I'm like disgusted with myself.
University of Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Poop | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think It Was the Makeup Sex
Grad student: How did you crack your rib? That's awful.
Administrative assistant: My husband.
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Employees | Questions | Relationships | Students | Posted 2009-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably Mr. Marcus Doesn't, Either
Girl, pulling up in her SUV: Hey, Marcus.
Guy #1: Hey.
Girl: How ya doin'?
Guy #1: Good, good.
(girl drives away)
Guy #2: Why'd she call you Marcus?
Guy #1: I don't know that bitch.
Newark, Delaware
...While Describing It to Me in Slow, Sultry Terms.
Older woman on phone: There are two dogs having relations on my front yard.
Chief of police: Well, hose them down.
Felton, Delaware
Overheard by: oh dear.
Andie McDowell's Character in Four Weddings and a Funeral Was Kind Of a Bitch
Girl #1: After he proposed, I thought to myself, "why couldn't he have done this a few days before, so I could show off my ring at the funeral?"
Girl #2: I know, that's such a shame!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: It wasn't even THAT pretty of a ring!
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Delaware | Girls | Movies | Questions | Posted 2009-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are There No Orphanages?
Mother with baby to other son: You are being such a nuisance. Your brother is sitting with poopy pants because you refuse to leave.
Wilmington, Delaware
Just Don't Let Me Come Home Without Them This Time
Hot girl #1: Have you decided what you're wearing tonight?
Hot girl #2: Pants.
Concord Pike
Wilminton, Delaware
...With Binoculars
College student to friend: Scott* is so funny. Like, last night, he was looking at his penis...
University of Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Memory lane | Penis | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Firth Is a Creature of Habit
Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress...
Girl, nonplussed: Again?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: archie
Categories: Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Guys | Memory lane | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
MC Hammer Hasn't Gotten Laid in a Good Long Time
Professor: Clearly, if I am wearing these pants, no one is gonna want to get in them with me!
Economics Class
University of Delaware Newark, Delaware
Poof! Like an Astronaut Landing on Moondust.
Guy to pals: Did you ever put baby powder on your butt and then fart?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: how are these people my friends?
Categories: Burping & farting | Default | Delaware | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Not Converted a Man because You Have Silenced Him
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It's cute.
Guy: It's a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
So I Whacked His Weed
Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Delaware | Gripes | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like There Was Some Connection between Reading and Earning
Elementary education major, about first grader: ... And my kid was like, 'I really wanna be a good reader, so I'm gonna read books every day so I get better. Like, Christ, kid, you don't have to try so hard -- you're not getting paid.
University of Delaware
Delaware
A Candy-Ass?
Professor with Smarties taped to pants: Anyone wanna take a guess at what my costume is?
Girl in back: Firefighter!
University of Delaware
Delaware
She Was Happy Feet-Good
Man, about preteen: She was being such a good penguin that I wished that I had some extra fish to give her.
Delaware
If You Double-Clutch Me, I'll Bite It Off
Girl on cell: Yes, that's exactly how I want to die! You driving us drunk down the highway at a hundred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the other to shift gears!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Categories: BJs | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, This One's for Throwing
Girl: May I have a Long Island Iced Tea?
Bartender: Sure.
80-year-old lady sitting at bar: Giiirl, I hope you took yo' birf control today!
Klondike Kate's
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Cols
Categories: Advice | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Strangers | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Put His Crib in the Freezer
Possibly preggers teen: I'm going to name my baby 'Vodka.'
Skanky mom: Oh.
Liquor store
Delaware
Okay, So There's No Neurological Damage
Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: ... A car.
Delaware
Overheard by: Chey
That I Threw in the Water
Mom: We're going to have surf 'n' turf for dinner tonight.
Daughter: What's the surf?
Mom: Steak.
Delaware
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight -- I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don't you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | Delaware | Family ties | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I'm Winning
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn't understand, so I something you didn't understand right back... God, I'm cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest
Girl on cell: So I said, 'If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.'
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Bathing | Colleges & Universities | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
