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...With Binoculars
College student to friend: Scott* is so funny. Like, last night, he was looking at his penis...
University of Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Memory lane | Penis | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Firth Is a Creature of Habit
Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress...
Girl, nonplussed: Again?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: archie
Categories: Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Guys | Memory lane | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
MC Hammer Hasn't Gotten Laid in a Good Long Time
Professor: Clearly, if I am wearing these pants, no one is gonna want to get in them with me!
Economics Class
University of Delaware Newark, Delaware
Poof! Like an Astronaut Landing on Moondust.
Guy to pals: Did you ever put baby powder on your butt and then fart?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: how are these people my friends?
Categories: Burping & farting | Default | Delaware | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Not Converted a Man because You Have Silenced Him
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It's cute.
Guy: It's a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
So I Whacked His Weed
Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Delaware | Gripes | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like There Was Some Connection between Reading and Earning
Elementary education major, about first grader: ... And my kid was like, 'I really wanna be a good reader, so I'm gonna read books every day so I get better. Like, Christ, kid, you don't have to try so hard -- you're not getting paid.
University of Delaware
Delaware
A Candy-Ass?
Professor with Smarties taped to pants: Anyone wanna take a guess at what my costume is?
Girl in back: Firefighter!
University of Delaware
Delaware
She Was Happy Feet-Good
Man, about preteen: She was being such a good penguin that I wished that I had some extra fish to give her.
Delaware
If You Double-Clutch Me, I'll Bite It Off
Girl on cell: Yes, that's exactly how I want to die! You driving us drunk down the highway at a hundred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the other to shift gears!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Categories: BJs | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, This One's for Throwing
Girl: May I have a Long Island Iced Tea?
Bartender: Sure.
80-year-old lady sitting at bar: Giiirl, I hope you took yo' birf control today!
Klondike Kate's
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Cols
Categories: Advice | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Strangers | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Put His Crib in the Freezer
Possibly preggers teen: I'm going to name my baby 'Vodka.'
Skanky mom: Oh.
Liquor store
Delaware
Okay, So There's No Neurological Damage
Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: ... A car.
Delaware
Overheard by: Chey
That I Threw in the Water
Mom: We're going to have surf 'n' turf for dinner tonight.
Daughter: What's the surf?
Mom: Steak.
Delaware
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight -- I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don't you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | Delaware | Family ties | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I'm Winning
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn't understand, so I something you didn't understand right back... God, I'm cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest
Girl on cell: So I said, 'If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.'
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Bathing | Colleges & Universities | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
