Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Connecticut All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Connecticut
Recent | Best Of
I Recycled Your Sister Without Batting an Eye
Little girl: You don't like me!
Mother: If I didn't like you, I'd throw you in the dumpster.
North Branford, Connecticut
But I'll Be Playing Magic the Gathering in Here
Girl, entering bathroom stall: Please don't judge me!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Feelings | Girls | Offers and requests | Restroom | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Chyna's a Great Role Model for Girls
Seven-year-old girl: Mom, when I grow up I wanna be big and beautiful.
Mom: What?
Seven-year-old girl: You heard me, big and beautiful!
Target, Connecticut
...Is the Thesis of My American Lit Dissertation
Saxophone-playing dude: [About Huck Finn] You really think some ten-year-old white boy is gonna be running around with a crazy black man like "Woo hoo! Everything's cool!"? No way, man, they woulda ate him!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Default | Guys | Kids | Race | Violence | Posted 2008-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Delta Burke Saw His Point
Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don't have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!
Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Bag ladies | Character | Connecticut | Grumpies | Insults | Money | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Women | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember How I Said I Couldn't Come to Class Yesterday Morning Because I Was "Tied Up"?
Professor: Never spend the night with a Croatian! Those guys are fucked up.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Oscar Meyer Was Never a Straight A Student
Instructor to student, during class debate: You look like you're deep in thought there. Anything you want to share with us?
Student: Dude, I was just thinking about hot dogs.
College class
Farmington, Connecticut
Overheard by: Student
Material Boy Though I Am
Male professor: I'm sorry, I just can't sing "Some boys kiss me". I know that's desperately heteronormative, but I can't help it!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Gender issues | Guys | Music | Sexuality | Singing | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'd Like to Know How Sound Carries, Consult the School Nurse
Biology teacher: [badly draws a woman singing into a microphone, which looks suspiciously like a woman about to give head] If you take this, for example...
[class laughs]
Biology teacher: [steps away from board and sees what class is laughing about] Uh...[erases drawing]... We're just not going to draw today.
Connecticut
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Education | Science | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If the Tagline Isn't "Gotta Fuck Them All" Then Someon Made a Mistake
Girl: The first Pokemon movie was really sad.
Guy #1: Oh, yeah! It made me cry.
Girl: I couldn't believe when Pikachu almost died...
Guy #2: Have you guys seen Pokemon porn?
Girl: Okay, let's just stop right there.
Guy #2: No, it's crazy. You know Misty? She'll do like anything!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Death & dying | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Guys | Movies | Offers and requests | Porn | Questions | TV shows | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Called 867-5309 and Asked
Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone's bisexual... except for Jenny.
Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut
Categories: Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Girls | Restaurants | Sexuality | Tweens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Through Binoculars.
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I'm just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Ass | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Creepsters | Default | Education | Etiquette | Girls | Names | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to This Good Housekeeping Checklist
Dejected neighbor: Yeah, I know. I'm more suited to kill werewolves than produce orgasms.
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: j
Categories: Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Default | Guys | Orgasm | Stupidity | Violence | Posted 2008-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dooming You to Come on Time for All Eternity
Professor: When you're late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he'll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we'll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Internet | Porn | Students | Teachers | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whoever Threw It Knew What He Was Doing
Girl to friend: That's the last time I catch a falling baby.
Farmington Valley, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Girls | Gripes | Kids | Posted 2008-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know You Watch Too Much Porn
Acting professor: Give me an action that would be the motivation for a police officer to ask somebody for their license and registration.
Student: ... He wants her number?
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ha-Ha, Made You Panic!
Professor: Now, in life there are rules. The school has rules, this class has rules... But some rules are meant to be broken. One of this school's rules is that teachers are not supposed to show their undergarments to their students...
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Snow White Has Strong Feelings about Little People
Guy #1: If I make a lot of money, I'm gonna hire a dwarf to stand on a stool and help me wash in the shower.
Guy #2: Why couldn't you get a full-sized woman to do that?
Nearby chick: I hope neither of you ever make any money.
Stanford, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Idiots | Jobs & Careers | Stupidity | Posted 2008-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... And/Or If You Live in Connecticut
Professor: ... But then he said that maybe drag isn't a great idea before you're tenured.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Jobs & Careers | Kink | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now, Honey, You Know I Prefer Brushes with Metal Studs
Little girl holding up toilet brush: Hey, Mom, I could scrub your butt with this when we get home if we buy it!
Target
Enfield, Connecticut
Categories: Ass | Connecticut | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Shopping | Posted 2008-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Do You Tap Dance in One?
Frustrated neighbor: It's only gay if we do it outside a vagina!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Categories: Connecticut | Idiots | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2008-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course
Frat boy: So, last night I had a dream, and I was eating pussy. Of course, it was a caramelized pussy...
Goshen, Connecticut
Overheard by: sweet and sour
Categories: Connecticut | Frat boy types | Gossip | Licking | Vagina | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If the Dads Are Paying Tuition, That's Already Happened
Student #1: I gotta take Psychology next semester.
Student #2: Fuck no -- too much reading.
Student #1: Sucks, man.
Student #2: Yeah, who cares if we all want to fuck our dads?
Student #1: Not me.
Student #2: Me either.
Men's room, College
Farmington, Connecticut
Overheard by: hoppersitter
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Students | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In That I Like Football Players
Chick: So basically I slept with this really hot Australian rugby player that I knew for less than 24 hours, and my dead friend watched.
Dude: We are so different.
Derby, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Friends | Gossip | Posted 2007-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What the Hell's Going on in Hartford?
Professor: I went to college in Montreal, and one day I woke up on, like, the 16th floor of some high rise building with this beautiful Arabian girl next to me, and I didn't know where I was or what was happening. It was great.
Student: And then you woke up again from your dream.
Professor: Well, then she ruined the next six months of my life. I don't know why I told you this story.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Memory lane | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Totally Unrelated News, Party at My House Tonight
Professor: It's like giving kids gateway drugs, but for the greater good.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which May Be Why He's Sleeping with Me
Chick: Okay, so here's the story -- I don't know what to do about my crackhead boyfriend. He's, like, seriously on crack...
Friend: I really think you're over-thinking everything...
Green line bus, University of Connecticut
Storrs, Connecticut
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Connecticut | Gripes | Posted 2007-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Republican National Convention Is This Month
Woman to small child: Oh, yes, Satan is very busy. He's, uh... He's... Yeah, he's veeery busy.
Target
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Evil | Lies | Moms | Posted 2007-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But in a Nice Way
Nun: I just keep hoping that our governor gets assassinated.
Bradley International Airport
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Nuns | Violence | Posted 2007-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Crying Is My Cardio
Girl #1, in lunch line: What's wrong with him?
Girl #2: I mean, he seems like a really nice guy... And I'm not into nice guys.
Yale University
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Chicks | Connecticut | Relationships | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ancient Order of Hibernians: Doh!
Chick: You see that banner? Okay, well, you see at the bottom where it says, 'Friendship, Unity, Christian charity'? Now, I can spell, but I still think that they should reconsider their title when the acronym turns out to be F-U-C-C... Oh, come on, I can't be the only one who finds that funny.
Connecticut
Overheard by: L. M.
Categories: Chicks | Connecticut | Words | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Just Go Ahead and Freak Ou t-- Might Be Fun
Girl #1: If I see one more blonde girl, I am going to freak out.
Girl #2: You know what you should do? Move to Africa.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Connecticut | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Someone Who's Waking Up with a Donkey Tomorrow Morning
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don't remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Categories: Connecticut | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Pig Anus Story Haunts My Dreams
Bookstore worker to friend: Will you stop saying things I'll remember the rest of my life?
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Friends | Questions | Posted 2007-10-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Time They Say "Nietzsche" We'll Do a Tequila Shot
Professor: Let's liven things up with a documentary about Nietzsche!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boob!
College girl: My bra -- it's, like, magical! It mysteriously unclips itself throughout the day!
Fairfield University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: GladMyBraIsntMagical..
Categories: Bimbettes | Clothing | Connecticut | Magic | Posted 2007-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In What Sense Have I "Got" Brad Pitt?
Professor: So, say that you've got Brad Pitt... And Angelina got eaten by a giant cobra. And it's maybe a year later and Brad's kind of eyeing Jen, and she's eyeing Vince, and maybe he has an affair with Claire Danes. And now Brad asks you to write an elegy for Angelina. What problems might you run into?
Medieval Literature class
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Will This Be on the Final?
Professor: Oh, yeah, I went down to Virginia and hooked up with this girl... Y'know, her dad was dead and she was kind of freaky... I shot her dog!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Gossip | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Make a Little Kid Faint Dead Away
Eight-year-old: You should never say 'Oh my G-O-D.' That's bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can't say that! That's bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!
Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Siblings | Words | Posted 2007-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wouldn't Order That Here, Honey
Six-year-old girl: Ask me what my favorite thing in the world is!
Mom: Okay, what's your favorite thing in the world?
Six-year-old girl: Escargot!
Sherwood Diner
Westport, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Food | Kids | Moms | Posted 2007-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Hung Jury
Guy: Well, I'm not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Categories: Connecticut | Friends | Gossip | Posted 2007-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Drag Queens
Mom to two kids: Now, you can both get one paperback each, but remember, they have to be normal paperbacks. Nothing about dragons.
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Books | Connecticut | Moms | Posted 2007-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook