Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Colorado All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Colorado
Recent | Best Of
Later, They'd Vomit Up Quarters
Drunk girl #1: I'm Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I'm Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
And Stalk All My Classmates Before September
Mother: You got into college!
Teenage daughter: I can finally join Facebook!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
And Lacoste Was So 1998
Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don't mix your reds and your whites!
Boulder, Colorado
Care Bears: Oopsy Does It! Is Exactly Like That
Really hot girl: Dude, it's like the Care Bears came and puked on my face!
Denver, Colorado
The Professor Appreciated the Eight-Sided Paper
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Education | Friends | Games | Philosophy | Pride | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life
Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn't look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.
16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado
Why You Gotta Ax So Many Questions?
Jackie O. lookalike: If I can't sneak cigarettes into my house, what makes you think I can get an ax?
Starfest Sci-fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
Anybody Have Any Bread?
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it's April 1st) Haha... His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
Categories: Class | Colorado | Default | Food | Health & Hygiene | Holidays | Maladies | Offers and requests | Questions | Sensory experiences | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wasn't I Right About 2000-- and 2001?
Goth chick: Don't talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.
University Plaza
Colorado State
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Fears | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Threats | Posted 2008-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only with Two More X's
Little girl: Mom, what's a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!
Denver, Colorado
Joey Tribbiani As a Kid
Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?
Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Default | Euphemisms | Food | Guys | Philosophy | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Baby's First Words Were "Betta Recognize"
Dad pushing stroller: [Singing.] Got a stroller so tight, you don't have to walk, got a stroller so tight, it'll fuck you up.
Denver, Colorado
Planned Parenthood Would Have Advised Mary to Say No
Planned parenthood speaker: I'm here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Birthing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Education | Happiness | Holidays | Pregnancy | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because He Was a Lame Duck
Chick: So, they haven't actually had a mayor since the last one had to be euthanized...
Honors Lounge, Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Christianity's All About the Special Effects
Girl to mother: You know, that's why I'm so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.
Aurora, Colorado
I'll Let You Use It for Special Effects in the School Play
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Abortion | Colorado | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Leisure | Offers and requests | On the phone | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hardly Touched Myself at All
Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn't mean I'm creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Guys | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
Still, It's a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences
20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.
Colorado
Categories: Age and ageing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Girls | Relationships | Siblings | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Just a Toxic Spill Waiting to Happen
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can't be given to goodwill!
Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Advice | Clothes | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Fat people | Friends | Girls | Goths | Gripes | Money | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
True That
Dude: "I am Legend"? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Books | Colorado | Education | Guys | Movies | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hello? You're Going to Accessorize an Accessory?
Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!
Aurora, Colorado
Is That Why You Keep Flinging Rocks at My Forehead?
Little boy: I don't have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie...
Little boy: No! I don't have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do...
Little boy: No, you're a giant!
Grocery Store
Colorado
Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma
Categories: Colorado | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Family | Family ties | Fears | Guys | Kids | Kids | Old folks | Sensory experiences | Stores | Women | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]
Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn't know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I'm just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
I Was Going to Say, "Masturbate to Climax"
History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue...I'm sure he couldn't even...
[Class snickers.]
History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!
Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado
Yes, the Naked Guy in the Back --Question?
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that's your own business, but you're not going to do that at work when you're in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Education | Etiquette | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Soon As We Get On, I'm Grabbing a Pole and Ripping Them Off
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn't let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Clothes | Colorado | Family ties | Gender issues | Gripes | Public Transportation | Teens | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of the Perks of Dating Helen Keller
Smug TA: While I was with her I was doing crack. She had no idea.
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Druggies | Drugs | Guys | Lies | Pride | Relationships | Students | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Heimliched Me from Behind and Just Kept Going
Girl in car, while on cell phone: I was coughing because I was eating a cookie while trying to have sex!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Squid
Mom's Been Forcing Her to Watch Seventh Heaven, to No Avail
Goth girl: I'm so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you're turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
It's No Country for Old Women, Either
Middle aged woman to another: It's not the hot flashes that are so bad... It's the depression.
BeauJo's
Ft. Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: always listening
Categories: Age and ageing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Happiness | Ladies who lunch | Mental illnesses | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff
Geeky girl: You know, I've still got my ex-boyfriend's mom's library card.
Goth friend: ...We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Animals | Books | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Porn | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then Put It Back, Unused
Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell's a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for 'light.' You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast -- lemur.
Teen girl #1: You're so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.
Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Mary Lou Gets Another Merit Badge
Chick #1: No sex, just rimming.
Chick #2: Great!
Denver, Colorado
First-Year Teachers Are So Cute
Planned parenthood speaker: Who wants some condoms?
Class, in unison: Your mom.
High school assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Comebacks | Counselors | Default | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jesus Is My Squirtle
Chick: I'm like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!
Denver, Colorado
To Fight Convention?
Tall goth girl to rotund, geeky friend: She's a fat black goth! Kinda like if you, me, and Bill Cosby joined forces.
Denver, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Goths | Gripes | Race | Stupidity | Posted 2008-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fair Enough, Mr. President
Man to friends: Dude, I believe in Jesus the same way I believe in Batman -- the awesome way!
Park Tavern
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lauren
Categories: