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Some of Which Also Wound Up on Her Thigh
Frat boy #1: ... And it just came out on her thigh. He didn't even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.
University of Alabama, Alabama
Overheard by: CB
Categories: Alabama | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Food | Frat boy types | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want the Human Race to Pack This Planet Like a Sausage
English professor: Just think of all the eggs that are wasted every time a woman doesn't get pregnant... That's what I do.
Montevallo, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Cum | Default | Education | Euphemisms | Pregnancy | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or When Tyra Had the Realness of Her Breasts Verified
Girl #1: Tyra will never be as good as Oprah. The Tyra show just doesn't have the credibility that the Oprah show has.
Girl #2: Well, Tyra does serious shows sometimes; like when Hilary Duff is on.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Categories: About celebrities | Alabama | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Feelings | Girls | TV shows | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Bright, White Light, on the Other Hand...
Gamer dude: ... and the game comes with like, real guns.
Wannabe goth chick: They're actual guns?
Gamer dude: Well like, real models. And it comes with this mirror that lets you see yourself and like, shows what you look like if you get shot in the face.
Wannabe goth chick: That's nice. That's not something you would normally get to see if you got shot in the face.
UAB
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Kitty-Jack
Categories: Alabama | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Death & dying | Games | Goths | Guys | Violence | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Wouldn't "Tight Asshole" Be Kinder?
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he'd take it as a compliment...
Guy: I get it! It's because he's gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Assholes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Girls | Guys | Insults | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Make-a-Wish People Laughed at Me
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
And I Still Don't Think "Bloody Mary" Had Anything to Do with Aunt Flo
Guy: The professor talked about the uterus for 20 minutes. Who talks about the uterus in a history class?
Stone Center, Jacksonville State University
Jacksonville, Alabama
Remember What the Judge Said!
Six-year-old boy playing in shipping carton: You can't mail me! I'm your son!
Deatsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Don't Tempt Me
Categories: Alabama | Family ties | Kids | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You're Willing to Back It Up with a Spanking
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson... You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I'd prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
And I'd Stay Away from Nestle's, Too
Little girl reaches towards a sheep as it poops.
Little boy: Nooo! Stop! Don't touch those raisinets! You can't eat a sheep's raisinets!
Birmingham Zoo
Alabama
Sleepy's Always Been the Most Mysterious of the Dwarves
Girl #1: So... He's gay?
Girl #2: Well, I'm not sure if he's gay so much as he just, like, sleeps with anything that moves.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Also Known As "Wind"
Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn't!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar -- I have toupée-dar!
5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eric
You Know What to Do
40-year-old virgin #1: Did I tell you I beat Mortal Kombat?
40-year-old virgin #2: Uh-uh.
40-year-old virgin #1: Well, I did, and now my life has no meaning.
Birmingham, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Better to... Ah, Fuck It.
Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm... Your vagina's so juicy.
Leaning on a school bus
Alabama
Overheard by: Joe
That's Too Bad, He Was Such a Great Guy
Jock: Wait... Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that's over.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
After a Nasty Court Battle, She Got the Egg Back
Crazy English professor: Now, Herrick -- his poems are like eggs... I used to have an ostrich egg... I knew the ostrich, too... Not that it makes any difference.
Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: poetrywhat?
Categories: Alabama | Animals | Colleges & Universities | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Old Good Cock/Bad Cock Routine
Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That's great. I'm happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I'm having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I'm not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I'm just in a monogamous relationship with two men.
Birmingham, Alabama
Which in Turn Depends on Whether You Speak English or Not
Sororitard to business classmates: Well, I guess it depends whether you consider a dog a person or not...
Alabama
Overheard by: liz
Categories: Alabama | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
