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You're Just in Time to See the Internet Made Illegible
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Categories: Airports & flights | Cell phones | Default | Geography | Military | Questions | Strangers | USA | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of Life's Opportunists
Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there's another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!
Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California
Categories: California | Food | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: California | Infidelity | North America | Relationships | Sex | Tourist attractions | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung
Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Biotechs | Maladies | North America | On the phone | Stores | Texas | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?
Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.
Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com
Overheard by: autumn
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | North America | Overheard At The Mecca | USA | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Airports & flights | Dads | Illinois | Maladies | North America | Parenting | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Although It's a Part of My Life I Don't Like Talking About
Hipster on cell: I've been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I've been to Queens.
Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York
Categories: Hipsters | New York | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Leave the Details to My Subordinates
Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!
1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: really?
Categories: North America | On the phone | Oregon | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pain Is Bad -- Let's Agree on That
Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | North America | Overheard at Stanford | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Drinking & drunks | North America | Penis | Sex | Tennessee | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No. And Stop Snorting That Flour
Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!
Safeway
Lakeport, California
Overheard by: Corinna
Categories: California | Drinking & drunks | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | Stores | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Could Do That Now!
Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | USA | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whatever. You Had That Cushy Yellow Raft
Mexican boy: We have to get up at 4 in the morning to go to school every day.
Mexican grandma: Yeah, well, I had to swim the Rio Grande to get to this country. So what?
Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused third generation Mexican
Categories: California | Mexicans | North America | Old folks | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Too Young for Croquet
Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Mansfield, Texas
Wish I Could Say the Same for You
Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee
Categories: Animals | Couples | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's a Creature of Habit
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step...
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
Categories: Couples | Drinking & drunks | Louisiana | North America | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hell, There Will Probably Be More!
Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Mike
Categories: Maladies | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will the Lights Be Off, and the Chairs Well Separated?
Teacher before movie: There is one part with a naked woman in it. Are you guys ok with that?
Guy: Is it an ugly woman?
Teacher: No.
Guy: Then we should be fine.
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Categories: California | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sex | Students | Teachers | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hemingway Really Died
Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!
The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Categories: Bars & Clubs | North America | South Carolina | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Never Forget Your First Loser
Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Memory lane | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Dads | Family ties | Fashion | Movies | North America | Parenting | Parents | Pop culture | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are
Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | New York | North America | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Virginity | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used "Ain't"?
Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk -- I'm mixing my metaphors!
Bucknell University
Categories: Drinking & drunks | North America | Pennsylvania | Students | USA | Words | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement
Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Philip
Categories: Jews | Michigan | Moms | North America | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grandparents Get to Say "Yes"
Grandmother to small child: Now, you can't tell your father about this, but we're going to build an arsenal with lots of weapons...
Target
Rochester, New York
Categories: New York | North America | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood
Categories: California | Clothing | Fashion | Kids | Moms | North America | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup
Chick on cell: I don't know -- sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss's head.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Categories: Indiana | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
