Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Places

Isn't That Cute?

Man, pointing out the window, to his wife: Look, honey, they even have cars!

Shout-out: zipster.wordpress.com

Overheard by: The Zipster

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One of Life's Opportunists

Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there's another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!

Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California

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Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

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Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung

Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.

Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas

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Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.

Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com

Overheard by: autumn

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God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk

Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?

United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Rose Fox

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Although It's a Part of My Life I Don't Like Talking About

Hipster on cell: I've been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I've been to Queens.

Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York

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I Leave the Details to My Subordinates

Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

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Pain Is Bad -- Let's Agree on That

Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!

Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com

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The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers

Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.

Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee

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No. And Stop Snorting That Flour

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Safeway
Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

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But You Could Do That Now!

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

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I Seem to Be Retaining Coors

Guy: Dude, that is your belly.

Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com

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Whatever. You Had That Cushy Yellow Raft

Mexican boy: We have to get up at 4 in the morning to go to school every day.
Mexican grandma: Yeah, well, I had to swim the Rio Grande to get to this country. So what?

Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Amused third generation Mexican

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And You're Too Young for Croquet

Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

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Wish I Could Say the Same for You

Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee

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She's a Creature of Habit

Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step...
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: JP

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Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle

Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: dek

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Hell, There Will Probably Be More!

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Mike

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Will the Lights Be Off, and the Chairs Well Separated?

Teacher before movie: There is one part with a naked woman in it. Are you guys ok with that?
Guy: Is it an ugly woman?
Teacher: No.
Guy: Then we should be fine.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

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How Hemingway Really Died

Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!

The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: innocent bystander

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You Never Forget Your First Loser

Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

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The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

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I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are

Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Brian

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Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used "Ain't"?

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk -- I'm mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

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Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement

Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Philip

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Grandparents Get to Say "Yes"

Grandmother to small child: Now, you can't tell your father about this, but we're going to build an arsenal with lots of weapons...

Target
Rochester, New York

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I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks

Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.

Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood

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It's Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup

Chick on cell: I don't know -- sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss's head.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Jason Carr

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