Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Places

Are They Telling You the Future?

Male professor: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Female professor: Yes!
Male professor: That is neat.

Oaxaca
Mexico

Overheard by: entiendo

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In Spanish This Is Rich With Meaning

Guy at party: You know, if I tell you it's 'cause I tell you, if not...why would I tell you?

Leon
Mexico

Overheard by: Oscar

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Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off

Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn't work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay...so, so far, so good!

Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico

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Relax-- That Just Means It Likes You

(strange loud sound comes from the plane)
Calm but confused flight attendant: That's weird, I've never heard that before.
Freaked out passenger: Um, excuse me? What?!

Flight to Cancun, Mexico

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Isn't That Cute?

Man, pointing out the window, to his wife: Look, honey, they even have cars!

Shout-out: zipster.wordpress.com

Overheard by: The Zipster

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One of Life's Opportunists

Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there's another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!

Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California

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Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

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Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung

Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.

Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas

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Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.

Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com

Overheard by: autumn

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God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk

Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?

United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Rose Fox

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Although It's a Part of My Life I Don't Like Talking About

Hipster on cell: I've been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I've been to Queens.

Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York

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I Leave the Details to My Subordinates

Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

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Pain Is Bad -- Let's Agree on That

Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!

Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com

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The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers

Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.

Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee

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No. And Stop Snorting That Flour

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Safeway
Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

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But You Could Do That Now!

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

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I Seem to Be Retaining Coors

Guy: Dude, that is your belly.

Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com

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Whatever. You Had That Cushy Yellow Raft

Mexican boy: We have to get up at 4 in the morning to go to school every day.
Mexican grandma: Yeah, well, I had to swim the Rio Grande to get to this country. So what?

Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Amused third generation Mexican

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And You're Too Young for Croquet

Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

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Wish I Could Say the Same for You

Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee

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She's a Creature of Habit

Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step...
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: JP

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Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle

Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: dek

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Hell, There Will Probably Be More!

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Mike

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Will the Lights Be Off, and the Chairs Well Separated?

Teacher before movie: There is one part with a naked woman in it. Are you guys ok with that?
Guy: Is it an ugly woman?
Teacher: No.
Guy: Then we should be fine.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

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How Hemingway Really Died

Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!

The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: innocent bystander

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You Never Forget Your First Loser

Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

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The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

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I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are

Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Brian

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Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used "Ain't"?

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk -- I'm mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

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Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement

Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Philip

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Grandparents Get to Say "Yes"

Grandmother to small child: Now, you can't tell your father about this, but we're going to build an arsenal with lots of weapons...

Target
Rochester, New York

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I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks

Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.

Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood

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It's Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup

Chick on cell: I don't know -- sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss's head.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Jason Carr

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