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But If Your Only Other Choice Is Golf...
Roommate, through wall: Oh, Ellen*, not naked psychology again...
St Andrews
Scotland
Categories: Guys | Relationships | Scotland | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Surprise!
Shopper, examining fish: So, have you had any perverts coming in here yet?
Shop assistant: No... Not yet.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Lena
Because That's What My Therapist Said
20-something guy, browsing toys: So... Do I have a penis face?
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Lena
Categories: Body parts | Guys | Penis | Questions | Scotland | Posted 2010-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Another Soccer Hooligan Comes to a Bad End
Ned to another, in thick Scottish accent: My pal's not well. His brain doesn't float around. It's stuck to his head, like.
Bus
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Still wondering what it could be
Categories: Body parts | Bus | Health & Hygiene | Scotland | Thugs | Posted 2010-09-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet I Continue to Wear Pleated Khakis
Goth girl: So, basically, I broke the law in four countries...
Dundee
Scotland
Overheard by: goldfishgirl
...And 36C.
Girl selling coffee: Do you want sugar in this?
Guy buying coffee: How big are your cups?
Girl selling coffee, face turning red: That's a bit personal!
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
What Flavor? Soylent Green Tea? Rocky Rhoda?
Girl: Look, if I buy you an ice cream, will you stop talking about cannibalism?
Guy: Maybe.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Is It Too Late to Start Over?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about "the last of the Apaches."
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
When the Producers Of Cops Join the National Geographic Channel
Professor, talking about archaeological surveying: Even in the mountains, people will be hunting, farming, running from the police.
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah
The Chemical Element?
Drunk man to another: If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.
Bar
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Jesse Green
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Guys | Holidays | Scotland | Wishes | Posted 2009-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sidesaddle, If She Liked
Young suit #1: I'd totally ride her.
Young suit #2: Her!?
Young suit #1: Yeah, what's up with her? She's very pleasant-looking.
Young suit #2: My point exactly. You don't "totally ride" (makes air quotes) someone who's pleasant-looking.
(pause)
Young suit #1: Fair enough. (pause) Okay then, I'd totally let her ride me.
Young suit #2: Yeah, me too.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Glasgow
Scotland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Public transportation | Questions | Scotland | Suits | Words | Posted 2009-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Without a Rich Fantasy Life, Scots Would All Commit Suicide
Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters...you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don't you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.
Scotland
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Jen
Sadly, Not Even the Scots Understand Their Accent
Girl #1, playing boardgame: You steer a boat with this.
Girl #2: An udder?
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Ben seven
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Language barrier | Scotland | Words | Posted 2009-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Do Need to Pass His Class...
Exasperated girl in the middle of the street: I really don't feel like taking my shirt off for this guy!
St. Andrews
Fife
Scotland
Overheard by: Nina
On the Plus Side, We've Finally Found a Decent Place for Our Slip-n-Slide
Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: "We're at the wrong funeral!" So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!
Train
Aberdeen
Scotland
And Since Your Sister Got Crushed by That House, You're All I've Got!
Drunk guy outside window: I didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!
Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)
Yesterday You Said Genius Was 1% Inspiration and 99% Marbles
Little girl to mother: Revenge is made from marbles.
Aberdeen
Scotland
Overheard by: Fiona
Amazing the Americans Didn't Do It First
Guy #1: Neil, you okay? Are you drunk?
Guy #2: Nah, I'm fine. I've just taken all the effort out of walking.
Oban, Argyll
Scotland
Categories: Guys | Philosophy | Scotland | Posted 2008-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Contemplating a Few Craft Projects of My Own
Scottish hipster: So, we find him tied to this pole near the railway tracks, stripped and covered with tar.
English hipster: Tar? So, is that easy to get around here?
The Lot
Edinburgh
Scotland
That Confusing Time in a Man's Life When His Body Changes
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need socks?
Mom: Yes.
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need boxers?
Mom: Yes.
Five-year-old girl: Does Daddy need a bra?
Mom: No.
Five-year-old girl: But he has boobs.
Dundee
Scotland
Overheard by: boredlaura
Why You Shouldn't Teach Kids New Words
Four-year-old: Mommy, are you having a breakdown? [Bored mother ignores child.] Mommy, I'm having a breakdown!
National Gallery
Edinburgh
Scotland
Categories: Gripes | Scotland | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
