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Ireland All Categories > Places > Europe > Ireland
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Let's Just Say, I'll Never Try Shrooms Again.
Guy: Oh I've slept in a field before. One time I slept with a sheep. I was interrupted in the middle of the night by a fox, though. The fox was like "grr!" and I was like "woah!", but then I remembered that I had garlic bread in my bag.
An Cheathru Rua
Galway
Ireland
Overheard by: what happens in an cheathru rua...
Ireland: Encapsulated.
20-something boyfriend with arm around girlfriend: God, we've saved a fortune not buying condoms recently.
Girlfriend: Yeah, a few more years of this and a baby will have paid for itself!
Cork
Ireland
...According to Miss Manners.
Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Questions | Posted 2010-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Won't That Hurt?
Middle aged woman to another: I swear, they're going to make us work till we're Protestant!
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Christianity | Ireland | Jobs & Careers | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I See Rich People
Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money... (whispering) Ghost money!
Graveyard
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Death & dying | Ireland | Magic | Money | Should have used a condom | Posted 2010-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Didn't Expect the Irish to Be Such Pussies
Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
Categories: Coworkers | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Family ties | Foreigners | Ireland | Questions | Sex | Posted 2010-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Those Slip-and-Fall Accidents Are Smitings
Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.
Dublin
Ireland
...Even When He Shouted Out My Name As He Was Finishing.
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
And a Fun and Flirty One
Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn't like to ask, to be honest. Would've been a savage souvenir, though.
UCC Campus
Ireland
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Crimes | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Holidays | Ireland | Questions | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet...
New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?
Train
Dublin
Ireland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Couples | Feelings | Foreigners | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Money | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Train | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently the Grace Period for Blaming the Potato Famine Has Expired
Irishman to friend, huddling under bar's awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink...
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: l_tau
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Ireland | Questions | Posted 2009-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Today on All My Cookies
Teen to friend: I don't care how many time you watch Sesame Street, it is not a soap opera.
Wicklow
Ireland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Ireland | TV shows | Teens | Posted 2009-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Irish Imagination
Little boy, as plane starts its descent: Oh my god! What are going to do? We are going to get stuck in the clouds! Please! Somebody help us! Help!
Dublin
Ireland
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Guys | Ireland | Kids | Kids | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Questions | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight, on Frigid Jones's Diary...
Girl: Did you see American Pie last night?
Guy: American Pie? But that's a dirty movie, I thought you were frigid.
Girl: I am frigid but I still watch tv.
Kerry Foods
Ireland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Ireland | Movies | Sex | Technology | Posted 2009-01-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Three If He Bites You
Man holding nose picking child: Fiver to hug the child! Just a fiver, a fiver to cuddle the child!
Belfast
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: I'll give you £2!
Always Knew You Leprechauns Were an Intelligent People
Tiny girlfriend: I know way more Killers songs than I thought!
Tall boyfriend (patting her head): It's because you're clever.
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: Limeinside
But I'm Practicing for My Wedding Night!
Father shouting out of house: Jacinta! Get off that cow! You'll ruin your communion dress!
Limerick
Ireland
The Day James Stopped Doing Positive Affirmations
20-something guy: My testicles are perfect!
Friends: [Silence.]
50-something lady walking past: [Snicker.]
Cork
Ireland
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Balls | Compliments | Default | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Pride | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Those Little Heads Are Kind of Creepy
Mother to child: You seem to be on a mission today to decapitate my toes.
Crowded LUAS tram
Dublin
Ireland
Categories: Body parts | Ireland | Moms | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, I Know Exacly What I'm Going to Do with Myself
Old lady to friend: ... And the husband's given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don't know what I'm going to do with myself!
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: future old lady
Categories: Christianity | Gripes | Ireland | Old folks | Posted 2007-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Unnatural Childbirth Olympics
Shopkeeper: How's your wife? Did they take her in to have the baby yet?
Shopper: Yeah, they took her in this morning to be seduced.
Bangor
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: limeinside
