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Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force
Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By "wasn't" I mean "was", by "taking a shower" I mean "taking a dump", and by "glass" I mean "bottle". (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!
University of Northern Norway
Norway
Was College Ever About Learning?
Lecturer, about exam questions: I mislead you on purpose. I have to get some sense of perverse pleasure out of designing these questions. I sit at home going "aahahahahahaa!" (rubs hands gleefully)
Irish Culture Lecture
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Note to Self: Proofread Bucket List
Hopeful tourist to hotel employee: We came to see kangaroos in their natural habitat, which way is the outback?
Hotel Front Desk
Vienna
Austria
Overheard by: flamingriver
Je...zeus?
20-something American girl, loudly and excitedly, pointing at statue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There's a statue of Jesus! They've got a statue of Jesus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unimpressed 20-something Greek girl: That's a statue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fucking retard.
National Archaeological Museum
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: Bleep
Oooh, Could He Be the Swedish Chef?
Girl to guy: Okay, okay. You can play the waitress, and I'll play the creepy chef who's always trying to rape the waitresses.
Oslo
Norway
Categories: Europe | Girls | Offers and requests | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Wokker, Texas Ranger
Student to friend: Of course meat and veggies on a plate aren't supposed to touch each other! If they were then they'd be called... Uh... Uh... Starsky and Hutch!
Hillerød
Denmark
Overheard by: ?
Another Conflict in Which the Swiss Happily Remain Neutral
Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger... I think this size is a li'l too small...
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more...
Lucerne
Switzerland
Overheard by: marisawin
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Strangers | Tourists | Posted 2010-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said You're Fine!
Woman to boy: Put a sweater on!
Boy's mother: No, he's fine.
Boy: I know I'm fat but I still get cold.
Sarajevo
Bosnia
Categories: Clothing | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Kids | Moms | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Never Drink With Master Debaters, Dear Reader
Guy among friends: This conversation is too logical for me.
Bar
Norway
And I Enjoy Mocking Your Working-Class Accents
Student, after teacher announced students would take turns to read: Erm, excuse me... Why can't we read quietly for ourselves?
Teacher, with mock shock: Because... We're here together! This is a room full of communion and harmony!
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephie
Which, As We Both Know, Is More Than We Can Say for Dad.
Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!
Public Restroom
Iceland
Bambi Was a Boy!
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Honey, don't you think I've got Bambi eyes?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend: A lot of people think so.
Boyfriend: You don't have Bambi eyes.
Denmark
Categories: Body parts | Couples | Europe | Movies | Questions | Posted 2009-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind Of Scandinavian Thinking That Produced Ikea
Girlfriend to boyfriend: I did the most useless thing today. I stuck something into another thing and pretended it had feet.
Trondheim
Norway
Overheard by: Knowbuddy
Categories: Body parts | Couples | Europe | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Self-conscious Enough About Her Stigmata
Girl: Stop talking about my sister's holes!
Denmark
Categories: Europe | Family ties | Girls | Vagina | Posted 2009-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes. Yes I Have.
Girl #1: What are those dots underneath the sign?
Girl #2: You're so dumb, haven't you heard of language for the deaf?
Bus Station
Tønsberg
Norway
Overheard by: Håkon
...Without Being Swarmed by Seminarians
Australian tourist: God, it's so hot in here. I can't wait to get out of here and take these pants off.
Church security guard, overhearing: Yes... that is very difficult to do in a church.
Vatican City
Overheard by: LeBron
How Genocide Begins
Girl to another: I've never been to Malta, but you know who I think must be really weird? People from Malta.
Prague
Czech Republic
Propelled by Airbrush, Like a Playboy Bunny
American tourist to girlfriend: No, it's a special species of blue rabbit that can survive in space.
Girlfriend: Wow!
Kaaba Cafe
Prague
Czech Republic
No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps
Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!
Fira
Santorini
Greece
Also, I'm Having Company Tonight, So You'll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep
Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.
Subway
Vienna
Austria
Just Sign Here and Initial Here
Kindergarten teacher: Hey, what are you doing?
Little girl: Nothing, but I can repair it if you want me to!
Kindergarten
Norway
Kept Gagging Into My Wide-open Mouth
Guy: So Jeff's cousin came out.
Girl: I knew he was gay! He's like, the only guy I didn't make out with on New Year's.
Guy: You totally made out with him!
Girl: Yeah, but he wasn't into it.
Ramat Aviv
Israel
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Europe | Family ties | Girls | Guys | Holidays | Sexuality | Posted 2009-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Henceforth You Shall Be Dubbed "Boring Betty"
Professor, to newbie class: So...let's start with everyone telling me a secret about themselves so I can try and remember your names. You (pointing to student) start.
Student, tentatively: Ummm...I eat cold spaghetti in the morning?
Professor: Ewww! Fantastic.
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephanie
Why Norway Isn't Known for Its Music
Teacher: Let's all play a c.
(music class plays a horrible, off-key c)
Teacher: Without the instruments, then.
High School
Oslo
Norway
Overheard by: Jorunn
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Europe | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or the Pope's Been Using That "Sugar N' Spice" Bodywash Again
Tour guide: Now go up the stairs and take a left at the top. (pause) Wait, do I smell cookies? I smell cookies!
Vatican Museum
Vatican City
Overheard by: Face
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Europe | Food | Questions | Tourist attractions | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Way I Do When I Think Of Our Faculty Meetings
Political science professor to class, explaining the term "political actors": Political actors can be political parties, politicians, organizations of different kinds...and by organizations I do not think of a group of pedophile carpenters gathering in a living room.
NTNU University
Norway
Overheard by: Amused student
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Europe | Politics | Teachers | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ivan the Terrible Eventually Did a Barbara Walters Interview, to Clear Things Up
Girl #1: He's massive?
Girl #2: Yeah, I heard he impaled someone!
Girl #1: I just meant he's tall.
Vienna
Austria
Freud's Children Were His Primary Inspiration
Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Austria
I've Now Been Hired As a Paper Shredder
Drunk bride: One time, I broke my dildo into two pieces. With my...you know. (other girls look at her in disbelief) What? I was horny!
Bridal Shower
Norway
Overheard by: Hege
Gotta Love Those Progressive Europeans
Teacher: So, women are in fact always...what?
Student: Wrong?
Classroom
Denmark
Overheard by: Allan Loff Jakobsen
A Mortal Insult in Albanian
Girl rambles on in Albanian for two minutes, then suddenly in English: So you can just eat my toe!
Durres
Albania
Categories: Body parts | Default | Europe | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Between a Comfy Bed and a Public Bathroom
20-something foreigner: The Democrats and Republicans... It's like the difference between safe sex and unsafe sex.
Taverna
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Europe | Foreigners | Politics | Sex | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to Our Bible --the Josie and the Pussycats Movie
Tween girl #1: Oh my god... You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It's a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Europe | Friends | Girls | Insults | Sensory experiences | Tweens | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want... to Be You
Guy #1: Oh my god! You look good! You've never looked so good!
Girl: Um... I don't know how to take that.
Guy #1: I just mean that you look so much better than I've ever seen.
Girl: You're making this worse.
Guy #1: Don't worry. I'm not hitting on you.
Guy #2: Stop talking, dude.
Beromünster
Switzerland
With a Boyfriend, I'll Go Through Less Peanutbutter
Vet student #1: I need to see about some place that allows animals next year. I really miss my cats.
Vet student #2: Yeah, I thought about that. I guess it all just depends. I mean, if I can get a boyfriend, I might not even need a dog.
overheardinathens.com
Categories: Animals | Europe | Overheard in Athens | Relationships | Students | Posted 2008-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
