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Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story
Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed... are a pain in the ass.
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Character | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Happiness | Insults | New Zealand | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Produced Sitcom Pilots in the 80s
Blonde: I wish I was a dad. It would be so funny!
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sars
Categories: Compare and contrast | Family ties | Gender issues | Girls | New Zealand | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Seen a Cat Goose-Step?
Teen girl: I put my new bra on my cat's head and he looked like a German soldier.
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Categories: Animals | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Geography | Girls | History | New Zealand | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I'm a Bottom.
Fat guy: Sorry I'm late. Mr. Sphincter isn't being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Etiquette | Euphemisms | Fat people | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Zealand | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Shoes. Don't Forget Shoes
High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Clothes | Default | Feelings | New Zealand | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Students | Teens | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time
Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I'm only drinking beers tonight.
Pinehaven
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Guys | Idiots | New Zealand | Questions | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Toilet-Swirl Isn't the Only Thing That's Backwards in New Zealand
Dude: I wish all guys had boobs.
Girl: What?!
Dude: It's so much more appropriate to grope a guy than a girl!
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
She Didn't Die, but She Did Laugh Until She Wet Herself
Four-year-old boy to girl his age: Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom! I take it out of my pants and then you die!
Christchurch Airport
Christchurch, New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: New Zealand | Should have used a condom | Threats | Posted 2008-02-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only the Strong Survive a New Zealand Childhood
Toddler in stroller, after dad accidentally pushes him into a shelf: Uh-oh!
Dad: Yeah, uh-oh! Daddy's drunk, so he shouldn't be drinking and driving. [Toddler giggles.]
Mt. Eden
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Dads | Drinking & drunks | Kids | New Zealand | Posted 2008-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'd Only Be a Truckstop Ho for Mad Cash
Rich white chick: Fuck, yeah, I'd be a car ho for some sweet cash.
Christchurch, Canterbury
New Zealand
Categories: Bimbettes | Jobs & Careers | New Zealand | Whiteys | Posted 2008-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time I Advise You to Introduce Yourself First
Girl #1: Are you fucking me up the asshole without any K-Y?
Girl #2: Yes. Yes, I am.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Ouch!
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | New Zealand | Posted 2007-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shuttling. Duh.
Teen girl to receptionist: Where's your giant cock gone?!
Badminton hall
New Zealand
Categories: New Zealand | Questions | Teens | Posted 2007-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Asians Are Racists, Too?
Asian #1, watching Asian driver: Asian drivers suck!
Asian #2: Dude, you are one!
Asian #1: Oh, yeah.
Queen Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Asians | New Zealand | Race | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Going to Need More Information.
Dude #1: ... And so I woke up, and I was naked!
Dude #2: What? Why were you naked?
Dude #1: Well, 'cause I was stripping, duh.
New Zealand
Categories: Gossip | Guys | New Zealand | Posted 2007-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Didn't Have Such a Small Dick
Drunk girl #1: I'd totally fuck your dad.
Drunk girl #2: Gross! Don't say that about my dad.
Drunk girl #1: What? He's hot, he's fuckable...
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, I guess he is hot... I'd fuck him if he wasn't my dad.
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Drunks | Family ties | New Zealand | Posted 2007-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Made the Best of the Situation
Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.
Subway restaurant
New Zealand
Categories: Gossip | New Zealand | Teens | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Religious Right Goes Too Far
Teen #1: Did you know tumors can sometimes grow hair and teeth?
Teen #2, stunned: Um, those aren't tumors. Th-those are babies.
Wild Thyme Restaurant
Queenstown
New Zealand
Categories: Body parts | New Zealand | Teens | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Girl #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl #2: No! I'm not gay!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Louise
Categories: Chicks | New Zealand | Sexuality | Posted 2007-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Nature of the Therapeutic Relationship
Woman: Well, yes, of course I'm making it all up. But you know it's true.
Friend: Oh, yes!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Ross
Categories: Ladies who lunch | Lies | New Zealand | Posted 2007-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Knows a Lot Less Than They Told Us
Middle-aged lady to friends: Hey, do you remember Santa?
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Chicks | New Zealand | Questions | Posted 2007-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What with All of the Licensing Revenue
Teen chick: You know, as long as there wasn't an intergalactic war or anything, I think it would be really cool to be an Ewok.
High school
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: New Zealand | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hiding a Core of Transcendent Ignorance
Blonde: I'm only dumb on the outside!
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | New Zealand | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Father Is by Far the Obvious Choice
Five-year-old girl to sister: Who would you rather kill -- Mummy or Daddy?
Mother: I don't want to hear you talking like that.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: disturbed
Categories: Moms | New Zealand | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bureau of Rude Remarks Shall Hear of This!
Dude: You should know -- I'm into government intervention into every aspect of life.
Passerby: Such a fag.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Insults | Jerks | Names | New Zealand | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In a World Gone Mad, She Made Her Own Rules
Woman: If anyone ever hurts you tell them to stop that, because it's not nice.
Little girl: And then you kick them in the face!
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Advice | Glad the condom broke | New Zealand | Violence | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Absolutely My Favorite Doctor
Suit: ... And of course afterwards she ran up and down the hospital corridor naked, screaming at her husband.
Bakery
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Gossip | New Zealand | Suits | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
