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There's Never Really a Good Time to Come Out of the Closet
College girl #1: (laughs hysterically)
College girl #2: Yeah, and while he was balls deep in me too, can you believe that?
Pennsylvania
Categories: Balls | Default | Friends | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | Sorority types | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What About "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"?
College girl, while listening to Hang Me Out To Dry: Dude, I just pictured my tampon singing this song!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. Lil
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Overheard in Minneapolis | Singing | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Were Different Times--There Was a War On
College girl #1: If I'm pregnant, the father is either him or his cousin.
College girl #2: Wait, you slept with David* and his cousin?
College girl #1: It wasn't a big deal, it was a threesome!
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jennifer
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | Family ties | Friends | North Carolina | Pregnancy | Sex | Sorority types | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Somewhere There's a Live, Cheerful Half of a Rat, and No One Knows How Heavy He Is
Girl #1: And I was like: "How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?"
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Diet & weight | Friends | Minnesota | Questions | Science | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Pope: Perhaps I Haven't Been Clear...
Cool college chick to friends: Ya know, birth control is the thing that makes sex okay.
Mexican Restaurant
Virginia
Overheard by: KMCV
Categories: Abortion | Default | Friends | Restaurants | Sex | Sorority types | Virginia | Posted 2008-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Hard to Be Sure, but I Think I Won
College girl: And then she got all high and mighty about it. She was like: "Remember when you passed out in my bathroom? I do!" And I was like: "Remember when you were born and looked like a man? I do!"
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Insults | Kids | New York | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Question Every Rock Of Love Contestant Must Eventually Face
College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I'm afraid he's going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?
Grocery Store, Kentucky
And Letting My Baby Steer
College girl to friend: He's a really scary driver. He'll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I'm really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Fears | Girls | Missouri | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Fear This Conversation May Reduce Ms. Bilson to Tears
College girl #1: So did I tell you I'm going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I've lost all respect for her. She's such a slut.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Categories: About celebrities | Australia | Default | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Sexuality | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Poopyheads Have Already Exhausted Their Five Minutes of Fame
College girl: There, I've belittled and insulted The View without using the word "bitch" or the c-word.
Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: ...and that itself is a feat
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Etiquette | Insults | New Jersey | Pride | Sorority types | TV shows | Words | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Eat It Before Those Orgies with the Football Team
College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.
Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia
Categories: Animals | Food | Friends | Pregnancy | Restaurants | Science | Sorority types | Posted 2008-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Jessie Got Us Arrested
[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]
Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We're all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you're 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you're 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
Categories: Age and ageing | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Cops | Crimes | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Friends | Relationships | Sexuality | Sorority types | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Am One With My Car
Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: ... Uhh... That would be health insurance.
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Charlee
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Offers and requests | Questions | Sorority types | Stupidity | Vermont | Women | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I'm all for feminism, but I don't like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Categories: Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Girls | Maryland | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Sorority types | Stores | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fool Me Twice, Shame on Morton's
Freshman girl: Never snort salt.
Other freshman girl: I know, right! It burns so bad!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Shelby
Categories: Advice | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Sensory experiences | Sorority types | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily So Many Other Things Taste Like Them
College girl: Just think about all the chickens that get killed every day, like just by McDonald's.
Friend: Yeah, but you know... I don't really care.
College girl: Oh no, I don't care about them either, I'm just scared they're gonna run out of chickens.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curlee
Categories: Animals | Fears | Feelings | Food | Friends | Massachusetts | Sorority types | Posted 2008-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Honey, a Sorority Girl Doesn't Need a Personality
Sorority girl #1: I should, like, just wear mini skirts all the time.
Sorority girl #2: Why?
Sorority girl #1: I have great legs, they're my best asset. [quiet pause] But I don't like my personality.
Dressing Room at Buffalo Exchange
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Yes! She just redeemed herself
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Sorority types | Texas | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Uncle Walter Won't Stop Poking Me
Distraught sorority girl: My mom won't accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.
Social Psychology Class
Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants
Categories: Class | Family ties | Feelings | Florida | Friends | Girls | Internet | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Me and My Cocaine Fork Will Be Just Fine
Girl: But I'm graduating soon, so I don't need spoons anymore!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Druggies | Drugs | Education | Girls | New Jersey | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Gerbil Was Menstruating!
Sorority girl: Well, yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that you have a tampon in your butt.
Dickinson College
Carlisle, Pennsylvania
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | Sorority types | Posted 2008-04-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Three's Company Cutting-Room Floor
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It's funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should've stayed at the library...
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Feelings | Frat boy types | Friends | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Poop | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When I'm Drunk
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We've been through so much together --four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I'm not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Bragging | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Friends | Idiots | Sorority types | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
And That's Not Even Including the Millions of Unborn Babies
Girl to friend: I swear to god, if there is semen on my shirt, I will kill everyone.
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Tom and Laura
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maryland | Murder | Sorority types | Threats | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Containing All That Evil?
Girl #1: Do you think anyone's like... Actually a good person?
[long pause]
Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.
Drew University
Madison, New Jersey
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Character | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Gripes | Maladies | New Jersey | Questions | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, I Miss College
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people's clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Assholes | Clothes | Crimes | Default | Friends | Girls | Mental illnesses | Money | New Jersey | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the New FBI Thriller Silence Of the Shams
Girl #1: You can't just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!
Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: isa
Categories: Body parts | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Minnesota | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated.
Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there's Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!
Ladies' locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: New Yorker
Categories: Christianity | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Sorority types | Tennessee | Posted 2008-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Don't Like the Way the Air Is Looking at Me
Sorority girl: I just hate water... It hates me back.
Dinkytown
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Karolyn
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Minnesota | Sorority types | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'll Stay with Him Until I'm Skinny Enough to Do Better
Skinny sorostitute: Every time I see him he just makes me want to throw up.
Arizona State University
Arizona
Overheard by: Lindsay
Categories: Arizona | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Skinny people | Sorority types | Posted 2008-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Boys Are So Frightened of Wolf Titties
Sorority girl: Yeah, he like, totally judges me for having fourteen nipples.
Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Nipples | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just about Thingamajiggies and Doodads
Sorostitute on cell: Like, I don't know, we hook up every now and then, and we talk... But, like, not about stuff.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Categories: Gossip | Maryland | Relationships | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Call It Comparison Shtupping
Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Sorostitute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You're a walking fucking disease.
Sorostitute: What? How am I supposed to know what I want unless I drunkenly sleep with a bunch of people I don't want?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Categories: Ohio | Questions | Sex | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And No Tequila As Underwear
University girl: So tonight -- no tequila, and we wear underwear.
Waterloo
Canadia
Overheard by: Regretting the bottle of tequila in my backpack
Categories: Advice | Canadia | Clothes | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Would Be Like the Government Lying
Sorostitute: But it was on his Facebook! Facebook doesn't lie!
Textbook return, University of South Florida
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: bunguin
Categories: Florida | Internet | Sorority types | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Skid or Stretch?
Sorostitute yelling at friend: I can see the marks on your butt from over here!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: yix
Categories: Ass | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Part Woodpecker
Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno... Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.
Iowa
Overheard by: confused and disgusted
Categories: Frat boy types | Iowa | Relationships | Sorority types | Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How People Get a Zero on Their SATs
Sororitard #1: Oh, genius, I spelled 'cheese' wrong.
Sororitard #2: That's nothing. Sometimes I spell my own name wrong!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: twombly
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |