Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | People | Yeahhh, college!

Ever Heard Of Grand Theft Autoerotica, Sally?

Nerdy frat boy #1: You know what we should do? Just go buy a video game, sit down, and fucking beat it.
Nerdy frat boy #2: Yeah!
Sorority girl, guffawing: Why would you buy a video game to jack off?!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Charlie G.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Also Why Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton Dueled

Bro #1: So, how did the fight start?
Bro #2: Who knows, something about some guy's girlfriend getting pissed on.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: looks like R. Kelly is making his rounds.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Jason's Pick-Up Strategy Is Full Of Holes

Drunk frat boy, yelling to group: Is it someone's birthday?
Cute girl: Yeah! Mine!
Drunk frat boy: How old are you? 19?
Girl: 22.
Drunk frat boy: Oh, I was confused. I was wondering how you could have gotten so drunk if you were 19.
Girl: We're not drunk.
Drunk frat boy: Oh. Well, we are!

Mini Golf Course
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

"...Use Your Afterlife Rollover Minutes"

Sorostitute, about bender: So what time does it start?
Frat boy: I've set my alarm for 9 am. We'll start then. We've got two kegs in and two cases of tequila.
Sorostitute: I'm such a lightweight. I'll probably be passed out by 11. My roommate said "please don't die. If you die, call me."

Penn State University

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

That's How Studying Is Done, Right?

Frat dude to another: I'm going to the library and I'm going to study my little nipples off.

University of Colorado

Overheard by: OMH

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...Is the Gist Of My Anthropology Paper.

Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.

Illinois State University

Overheard by: Eddy

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Of Condoms?

College guy, shouting out window: She makes me jealous. She's so hot!
Friend, mumbling: 48-pack!

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

All the Other Races Do It!

College girl to college guy: So you won't marry me but you'll procreate with me?

Glendale, Wisconsin

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Despite What Every Porno Has Taught You.

Frat boy to another: Dude... Just because you can get with one of them doesn't mean you can automatically have a twin threesome.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Ian

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...For Being So Gay.

Oversexed frat boy at house party: Yeah! We're gonna shoot 'em with our sperm cannons!

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Katie M

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Some Of Your Editors Are Doing Stupid Things Right Now

College boy #1: Hey, man, thanks for getting me out of that skiing trip.
College boy #2: No problem. Pretty girls have made me do stupid things before. In fact, I bet pretty girls make me do stupid things in the future, too. Probably tonight, or tomorrow...

University of Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: not a college student yet

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But My Counselor Doubts I Can Make a Career Out Of It

Frat boy: They called me "the virgin detector."

Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Ham.

Frathole: The thing about being Jewish is that you don't have to believe in god.

UMass
Massachusetts

Overheard by: So proud of my degree

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

For Some Reason, It Rarely Happens the Other Way Around

College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.

Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Where This Sweater Vest Came from

College student: So far, I'm three for three on not knowing who I left with, or how I got there.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Why Else Go to College?

Frat guy, after taking a hit from a blunt and smoking a cigarette: I feel like I spend the majority of my day inhaling something.

University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

If Your Editors Had a ShamWow, We Would Use It Every Day

Frat boy #1: Oh, dude, a ShamWow! (to friend at counter) Hey, should we get a ShamWow?
Frat boy #2, without looking at him: No.
Frat boy #1: But it's a ShamWow!
Frat boy #2: You're an idiot. (long pause) Fine, get the fucking ShamWow.
Frat boy #1: (excitedly runs ShamWow over to counter)
Frat boy #2: Fuck.

Pet's Mart, Montana

Overheard by: Sadie

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Wondered Why She Was So Hairy.

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

At Least They Own the Stereotype

Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.

Virginia Tech

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Explosive Phosphorous Diarrhea Really Lights Up Public Transport

Stoned frat boy: That's some illuminating shit!

Oakland-Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: the girl in the front of the bus

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come..." Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

For Some Weird Reason I Can't Keep Them, Though.

High school kid to another, on bus: I'm all sensitive and shit, that's why I get all the bitches.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Bus Boy

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party

Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.

Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Jeff Goldblum Was Never the Most Popular Student

Frat guy to group of freshmen girls: I swear, you're like the ninth person who's said I look creepy tonight.

University of Puget Sound
Tacoma, Washington

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

On the Plus Side, Now I Get to Take Part in This Cool Study in Tuskegee

Frat guy #1: Dude, what is wrong with you tonight? You were all fidgety in there!
Frat guy #2: Yeah... You remember that blonde chick? She gave me syphilis, man. It's itchy as fuck!

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Just pretend like you didn't hear that...

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Which Was Just Long Enough to Ride the Ferris Wheel

Frat boy: You know we measured his dick and it was like seven inches flaccid.

University of Virginia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

That's When the Real Fun Begins

Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: red

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Mom Still Isn't Speaking to Me

Frat guy to others: I can't believe I puked all over her tits last night. I was so fucking drunk.

University District
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Yujin

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Leave It to the Ivy Leaguers to Really Get to the Crux of an Issue

Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?

Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

You Have My Chalice in Your Purse!

College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!

Burlington, Vermont

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

This Physics Project Is Gonna Get Us an "A" for Sure!

College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: a lil.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Don't Have to Protect the Fantasy of Your Desirability

Short-haired college girl to guy friend: So, is it okay if I fart in front of you?
Guy friend (pause): Well, you're gay, right? Then I guess it's okay.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: a. Lil.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Plus, It Totally Clashed with My Pumps

Frat boy to another: It was the ugliest lipstick I've ever seen!

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Anna

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Michigan State AA Chapter Didn't Quite Get the Point

Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, "Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!" I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!

Michigan State University

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Like a Good-Karma Chameleon?

College guy #1: I can't believe I wasn't invited to the wedding.
College guy #2: Maybe if you'd eat another lizard.

Clancy's Irish Pub
Keyser, West Virginia

Overheard by: Millicent Bystander

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And Serve Beef

Frat boy: Indian food can't be any good! I mean, if it was, they'd have chain restaurants!

Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Long to Feel the Pleasant Tingle of Arthritis

(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old!

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Speed Bumps

Bar-hopping frat boy: She was begging me for a cab, not to put it in her poop chute.

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: clinton

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

In My Spare Time I'll Either Collect Stamps or Become President

Rich college white guy: If this music thing doesn't work out for me, my backup is med school.

Malibu, California

Overheard by: Stephen Perlstein

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

That's the Last Time We Party with the Dean

Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, "I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here." He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.

Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jim

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...Shaking Hands with Martin Luther King

College student #1: Look, look, it's Martin Luther King!
College student #2: ...that's Eddie Murphy.

Madame Tussaud's
Las Vegas, Nevada

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Knowing She's Got the Biggest Package in Town

Frat boy #1: Wait... so they didn't rape her?
Frat boy #2: No dude, turns out she had a penis. Now every time I see the girl I throw up a little in my mouth.

Laramie, Wyoming

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Only If You Go to School in Kansas

Frat boy reading section titles: "Self-help, cooking, fiction." ...is fiction science?

Barnes & Noble
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: almost threw a book at him

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And P.S.- You Might Want to Wash Your Face

Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren't having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn't sound very hypothetical.

University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Right Up There with the Taoist Classic "C Is For Cookie-- Is Good Enough for Me"

Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn't listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I've got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like "I don't see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies."

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Unless It's a Naughty Nurse

Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists... or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.

SUNY Geneseo
New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Some of Which Also Wound Up on Her Thigh

Frat boy #1: ... And it just came out on her thigh. He didn't even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.

University of Alabama, Alabama

Overheard by: CB

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Striptionary?

MIT frat boy #1: I'm just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um... Sure.

Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Brian

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Hey! I'm Not Dying Yet!

Drunk college student: What's up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla' at your boy.

Green Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: On my way to church

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

"Take, Eat, This Is My Body" Would Actually Work As a Pick-Up Line

Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!

Duluth, Minnesota

Overheard by: Nic

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

... With My Girlfriend

Guy: Dude, I'm totally getting sexiled by my pre-frosh tonight.

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Blue Devils

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

From the Three's Company Cutting-Room Floor

Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It's funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: should've stayed at the library...

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Getting Sexiled Is Too Good for Her

Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like "Yeah, I'm really tired, I just want to go to sleep." But her roommate would not leave the room.

Dorm Room
UCSB, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Why Nobody's All That Sold on the Idea Of Heaven

College guy: And then, there would be no more vagina!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Laiah and Caitlin

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Just Paddle Each Other Like Usual

Guy: You know what we should do this weekend? Roofie each other to see what it feels like!

Colorado State University
Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Pink Is Pretty Gay, Though -- Why Chance It?

Frat boy #1: What is pink eye, anyway?
Frat boy #2: I dunno.
Frat boy #1: Well, I don't see how it can be that contagious.

Palm Walk, Arizona State University
Arizona

Overheard by: oh, trust me...

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Of Course

Frat boy: So, last night I had a dream, and I was eating pussy. Of course, it was a caramelized pussy...

Goshen, Connecticut

Overheard by: sweet and sour

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

He's Part Woodpecker

Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno... Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.

Iowa

Overheard by: confused and disgusted

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Is There a Polite Response That Doesn't Sound Gay?

Frat monkey: Here's a naked pic of my girl [shows photo on cell]...
Drunk frat friend: Nice. [Pulls out his own cell.] Here's a picture of my dick.

Caves Bar
Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: Not impressed

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

They All Belong to Fraternities

Frat boy to sky: Where is the pussy in this world?!

Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Lisa

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

They Also Recalibrated the Gay Scale

College boy, laughing: You mean to tell me you think the Beatles changed music forever?
Mom: Yes, of course.
College boy, still laughing: Come on, Mom -- with those 45-percent-gay haircuts?

Art Institute of Philadelphia
Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Should We Invite Her?

Dude #1: Dude, did you see Rachel in class today? Smokin'!
Dude #2: Yeah... I'm totally going to wack off to her spring break pics on Facebook tonight.
Dude #1: She put up spring break pics? Me too, then...

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: OdinUSMC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table

Guy on cell: I'm drunk as fuck right now... Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance... She was bangin'. You wanna know the best part, dude? I'm doing homework, haha!... Yeah, it's due tomorrow.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: zui

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Now I'll Never Be Able to Run for Office As a Republican

Frat boy: Dude, the dumbest thing I ever did was graduate...

Wall Street
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: alexis

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Not Funny-Haha...

Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Except That Living in Italy Could Be a Good Thing

Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it'd be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: impressed, she has a point

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Observing the Employed in Their Natural Habitat

College guy to group, confused by crowd at ten a.m.: I always forget there's this whole subculture of people who get up before noon.

Connecticut Avenue and R Street
Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Oh, in That Case I'd Be a Cheetah

Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night -- I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you're high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don't like birds.
Guy #3: I'd be a pterodactyl, dude.

Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

For Those Who Think It Tragic That White Birthrates Are Dropping

Old frat boy #1: Yeah, dude, I really need to get my stuff together. I've already graduated college and I still live like I'm in college.
Old frat boy #2: Yeah, don't mess around and end up like Mike* -- he's about to have a second kid. Both of them were mistakes.
Old frat boy #1: Yeah, I always make the girls I have sex with stand on their heads after. I'm so glad that urban legend is true.
Old frat boy #2: Haha, yeah, I always make the girls I hook up with do post-coital jumping jacks.

Metrobus
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Tyler

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Seem to Be Retaining Coors

Guy: Dude, that is your belly.

Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock

Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.

Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Said, "My Name's Chip. And That's an Egg McMuffin."

Frat boy: So, the prof walked into class and he looked right at me and he said, 'Drew*, your right testicle is hanging out.' That's how he started the class!

Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you 'Baby'?
Frat boy #2: No... You've bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying -- we're experienced.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: the ear

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Can We Go Over the Air/Fat Correlation Again?

Frat boy #1: Dude, look at how much air there is in this room.
Frat boy #2: Dude, what if they charged money for, like, air?
Frat boy #1: Dude, I wouldn't care -- I'm not that fat... Dude, don't you ever just want to, like, throw a knife up in the air above a crowd of people and, like, see what happens?
Frat boy #2: Totally.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: doppelganger

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And Really, Really Stupid, Too

Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It doesn't really mean stupid -- it really means 'deaf.'
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was really deaf.

Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: English Major

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spigot

Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I'm practically peeing holy water.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?

Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]
Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

They Couldn't

Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men -- we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: maria

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Medea Didn't Listen, Though, and the Gods Punished Her with a Rash

Dude: Tell your sister I won't sleep with her if she shaves her pubic hair. That shit is like the golden fleece, yo.

Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Angie

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

If You'll Refer to This Pie Chart...

Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.

Starbucks, E Street
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Only a Hall-of-Famer If You Still Scored

Guy #1: Dude, I'm really embarrassed. Last night I peed in her roommate's closet.
Guy #2: Hall of fame! That's hall of fame material!

Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?

Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'll Think of More Reasons Once I Start

Frat boy #1: I think I'm going to start doing cocaine instead of marijuana. I need to step it down a notch.
Frat boy #2: Uh, how is that stepping it down, exactly?
Frat boy #1: I dunno. I just think cocaine is more practical.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by: amy

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow

Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now... [He leaves the room.]

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Maxwell

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'd Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn't Intervened

Drunk frat boy: I don't care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: hearing aid

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Dude, I Remember When You Were Cool

Frat boy: Nah, I'm not going out tonight. I'd rather wake up tomorrow and have a problem set done instead of a fat girl.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: doug

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Monkeys and Vanilla Jews Are Fair Game

Bubblehead: Well, it's inhumane. I don't think they should keep them in cages... The, you know, what-do-they-call-em... kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dumbass, they're kinkajous. It's a small, monkey-like animal, not a person.
Bubblehead: Oh. That's different, then.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: crankyprof

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?