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Right Up There with the Taoist Classic "C Is For Cookie-- Is Good Enough for Me"
Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn't listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I've got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like "I don't see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies."
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This
Categories: Advice | Default | Food | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | Rhode Island | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless It's a Naughty Nurse
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists... or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | New York | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some of Which Also Wound Up on Her Thigh
Frat boy #1: ... And it just came out on her thigh. He didn't even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.
University of Alabama, Alabama
Overheard by: CB
Categories: Alabama | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Cum | Feelings | Food | Frat boy types | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Striptionary?
MIT frat boy #1: I'm just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um... Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Frat boy types | Friends | Games | Guys | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Sexuality | Students | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey! I'm Not Dying Yet!
Drunk college student: What's up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla' at your boy.
Green Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: On my way to church
"Take, Eat, This Is My Body" Would Actually Work As a Pick-Up Line
Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drunks | Frat boy types | Guys | Jesus | Minnesota | Students | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... With My Girlfriend
Guy: Dude, I'm totally getting sexiled by my pre-frosh tonight.
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Blue Devils
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Education | Frat boy types | Guys | North Carolina | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Students | Words | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Three's Company Cutting-Room Floor
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It's funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should've stayed at the library...
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Feelings | Frat boy types | Friends | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Poop | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Getting Sexiled Is Too Good for Her
Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like "Yeah, I'm really tired, I just want to go to sleep." But her roommate would not leave the room.
Dorm Room
UCSB, California
Categories: Bragging | California | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Frat boy types | Friends | Guys | Questions | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Nobody's All That Sold on the Idea Of Heaven
College guy: And then, there would be no more vagina!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Laiah and Caitlin
Or Just Paddle Each Other Like Usual
Guy: You know what we should do this weekend? Roofie each other to see what it feels like!
Colorado State University
Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Drugs | Frat boy types | Posted 2008-01-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pink Is Pretty Gay, Though -- Why Chance It?
Frat boy #1: What is pink eye, anyway?
Frat boy #2: I dunno.
Frat boy #1: Well, I don't see how it can be that contagious.
Palm Walk, Arizona State University
Arizona
Overheard by: oh, trust me...
Categories: Arizona | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | Posted 2008-01-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course
Frat boy: So, last night I had a dream, and I was eating pussy. Of course, it was a caramelized pussy...
Goshen, Connecticut
Overheard by: sweet and sour
Categories: Connecticut | Frat boy types | Gossip | Licking | Vagina | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Part Woodpecker
Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno... Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.
Iowa
Overheard by: confused and disgusted
Categories: Frat boy types | Iowa | Relationships | Sorority types | Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is There a Polite Response That Doesn't Sound Gay?
Frat monkey: Here's a naked pic of my girl [shows photo on cell]...
Drunk frat friend: Nice. [Pulls out his own cell.] Here's a picture of my dick.
Caves Bar
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Not impressed
Categories: Bragging | Frat boy types | Texas | Posted 2007-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They All Belong to Fraternities
Frat boy to sky: Where is the pussy in this world?!
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: Frat boy types | Ohio | Questions | Posted 2007-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Also Recalibrated the Gay Scale
College boy, laughing: You mean to tell me you think the Beatles changed music forever?
Mom: Yes, of course.
College boy, still laughing: Come on, Mom -- with those 45-percent-gay haircuts?
Art Institute of Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Categories: Frat boy types | Music | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should We Invite Her?
Dude #1: Dude, did you see Rachel in class today? Smokin'!
Dude #2: Yeah... I'm totally going to wack off to her spring break pics on Facebook tonight.
Dude #1: She put up spring break pics? Me too, then...
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: OdinUSMC
Categories: Frat boy types | Getting off | Virginia | Posted 2007-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table
Guy on cell: I'm drunk as fuck right now... Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance... She was bangin'. You wanna know the best part, dude? I'm doing homework, haha!... Yeah, it's due tomorrow.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zui
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Education | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'll Never Be Able to Run for Office As a Republican
Frat boy: Dude, the dumbest thing I ever did was graduate...
Wall Street
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Florida | Frat boy types | Gripes | Posted 2007-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not Funny-Haha...
Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Animals | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except That Living in Italy Could Be a Good Thing
Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it'd be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: impressed, she has a point
Categories: Bimbettes | Frat boy types | Gripes | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Observing the Employed in Their Natural Habitat
College guy to group, confused by crowd at ten a.m.: I always forget there's this whole subculture of people who get up before noon.
Connecticut Avenue and R Street
Washington, DC
Categories: Frat boy types | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, in That Case I'd Be a Cheetah
Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night -- I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you're high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don't like birds.
Guy #3: I'd be a pterodactyl, dude.
Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Categories: Birds | Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Questions | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Those Who Think It Tragic That White Birthrates Are Dropping
Old frat boy #1: Yeah, dude, I really need to get my stuff together. I've already graduated college and I still live like I'm in college.
Old frat boy #2: Yeah, don't mess around and end up like Mike* -- he's about to have a second kid. Both of them were mistakes.
Old frat boy #1: Yeah, I always make the girls I have sex with stand on their heads after. I'm so glad that urban legend is true.
Old frat boy #2: Haha, yeah, I always make the girls I hook up with do post-coital jumping jacks.
Metrobus
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Tyler
Categories: Frat boy types | Gossip | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said, "My Name's Chip. And That's an Egg McMuffin."
Frat boy: So, the prof walked into class and he looked right at me and he said, 'Drew*, your right testicle is hanging out.' That's how he started the class!
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Balls | Frat boy types | Gossip | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Dispense with Talking
Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you 'Baby'?
Frat boy #2: No... You've bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying -- we're experienced.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Backdoor | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can We Go Over the Air/Fat Correlation Again?
Frat boy #1: Dude, look at how much air there is in this room.
Frat boy #2: Dude, what if they charged money for, like, air?
Frat boy #1: Dude, I wouldn't care -- I'm not that fat... Dude, don't you ever just want to, like, throw a knife up in the air above a crowd of people and, like, see what happens?
Frat boy #2: Totally.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doppelganger
Categories: Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Really, Really Stupid, Too
Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It doesn't really mean stupid -- it really means 'deaf.'
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was really deaf.
Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: English Major
Categories: Colorado | Frat boy types | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spigot
Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I'm practically peeing holy water.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Pee | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]
Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Frat boy types | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Couldn't
Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men -- we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: maria
Categories: Fashion | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Medea Didn't Listen, Though, and the Gods Punished Her with a Rash
Dude: Tell your sister I won't sleep with her if she shaves her pubic hair. That shit is like the golden fleece, yo.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Angie
Categories: Frat boy types | Overheard in the Valley | Shaving | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'll Refer to This Pie Chart...
Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.
Starbucks, E Street
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Vagina | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Only a Hall-of-Famer If You Still Scored
Guy #1: Dude, I'm really embarrassed. Last night I peed in her roommate's closet.
Guy #2: Hall of fame! That's hall of fame material!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | Gossip | Overheard at Loyola | Pee | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?
Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Gripes | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Think of More Reasons Once I Start
Frat boy #1: I think I'm going to start doing cocaine instead of marijuana. I need to step it down a notch.
Frat boy #2: Uh, how is that stepping it down, exactly?
Frat boy #1: I dunno. I just think cocaine is more practical.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: Drugs | Frat boy types | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now... [He leaves the room.]
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Maxwell
Categories: Class | Frat boy types | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn't Intervened
Drunk frat boy: I don't care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid