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Right After He Repairs My Cable Box
Woman #1: Dammmnnn girl! This metro so damn crowded!
Woman #2: Shit yeah! Too many people here.
Woman #1: Don't worry, Obama gonna take care of that.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Gripes | Other sites | Politics | Public transportation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Need to Be More Specific.
40-something woman: Bump-its for everyone!
40-something woman's friend: Yes! Bump-its!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: No thanks...
Categories: Gifts | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2011-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Can't Be Worse Than That Burger, Right?
Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!
American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Emily
And a Machete
Lady at fruit stall: Well, it's her birthday... I'd better buy her a coconut!
Brisbane
Australia
Allison Took Silver at the Entitlement Olympics
Flight attendant to woman putting luggage in the only overhead compartment left: Ma'am, if you put your luggage there, but go way up front, when the plane lands, you'll have to wait to deplane until everyone else has because you can't go back here if you're up front when people are trying to exit the plane.
Woman: But this is my only option!
Flight attendant: You could sit in the back.
Woman: No!
Allegiant Airline
Ft. Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
If Only There Were Some Way to Prevent That...
Woman: We are having more kids, dammit!
Fort Worth, Texas
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Tree
Woman at Origins of the universe sequence at screening of The Tree of Life: We should have seen Bridesmaids.
Companion: Shut up!
Brisbane
Australia
Where Canadian Bacon Comes From?
60-something man, watching obese woman board bus, loudly: So fat!
30-something woman, quietly: Yeah, sometimes it might be genetics or something. Not just cured by exercise, you know?
60-something man, loudly: I try to avoid getting too close to people who are that fat. I'm scared they'll just explode and innards will get all over me!
30-something woman: (disgusted look)
London
Canadia
Overheard by: On the bus
The Itchy & Scratchy Episode That Was Too Raw for The Simpsons
Young woman to small boy, loudly: Get your hands outta your pants, dude! (moments later) I said, scratch it through them!
Bus Stop
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: across the street
You Women Sure Know How to Dick Around.
Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That's it! Straddle it, you'll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.
Target
North Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chris M
Categories: Advice | Character | South Carolina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Plus Side, If People Think You're 16, You Totally Have a Future in Barely-Legal Porn!
Young woman #1: And I was like, "No, dude who's two years older than me, I'm not 16. Nice mandals."
Young woman #2: You said that?
Young woman #1: Oh, no. I try really hard to think of other things when 25-year-olds are hitting on my mom.
Young woman #2: I'm really sorry.
Nail Salon
Napa, California
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Family ties | Gossip | Women | Posted 2011-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Though I Do Still Have PTSD from That House.
Hippie: Yeah, John saw things that nobody should see.
Chic woman: Dude! We all did! Your house was seriously gross!
Hippie: Uh, I meant when he was in the war in Iraq...
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Compliments | Geography | Hippies | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2011-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Follow Me!
Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.
London
Canadia
Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks
The Library? Nooooo!
Woman on cell: I'm at the library because I'm so fucking pissed off at you!
Library Parking Lot
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Why Wouldn't Pot Be Microwaveable?
Crazy old woman to teenagers: I just learned something today. The Native Americans had microwaveable pot!
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Categories: Education | History | Massachusetts | Technology | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Lassie "E! True Hollywood Story" Was Too Controversial for TV
40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let's look at Halloween candy.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much
Categories: Animals | Candy | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Suits | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Montana But Were Afraid to Ask
Woman to kids, after explaining the basic importance of voting: And remember... We always vote Republican because the Democrats are godless.
Voting Line
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Justin
...Okay, Love You Too. Bye, Mom.
Loud woman on phone: Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? (pause) You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid... (keeps repeating it)
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're So Competitive, Jason!
Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island... right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.
Harrisburg, Illinois
...I Want a Postcard!
Woman, dropping friend off at airport, then heading to doctor's office: Enjoy your two weeks in France.
Friend: Thanks, enjoy your colonoscopy.
Airport
Ithaca, New York
How Could Anything So Seedy Happen in a Place Like Beaverton?
Woman: Is this the train that goes to Portland?
Smelly guy with slur: Yeah. (pause) Do you want some company?
Woman: What?
Smelly guy with slur: Want some company?
Woman: No!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Bad Rabbit mAb
Categories: Offers and requests | Oregon | Public transportation | Questions | Women | Posted 2011-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"A" As in "Adolph," "F" As in "Final Solution"...
Indian lady on crowed bus on cell: Yes. 'h' as in 'Hitler.'
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Not Me
Categories: About celebrities | Kentucky | On the phone | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2011-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Were His Teeth In or Out?
Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Family ties | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pop Quiz: Who's She Talking To?
Woman: I'm glad all my friendships are online!
Melbourne
Australia
The Highly-Prized Utah Grunting Salad
Woman: My salad just made a guinea pig noise.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Categories: Animals | Food | Sensory experiences | Utah | Women | Posted 2011-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Somebody Has an Admirer
Woman on the street: In the past 24 hours someone a shoved a dead bird in the grill of my truck!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then the Wii Had to Come Along and Confuse Everything
Woman on phone: Yeah, well, as you get older, it's less manual labor and more electronics!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: am I taking this the wrong way?
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Technology | Women | Posted 2011-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Know Something About Louis Pasteur That I Don't
Middle-aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that's what you mean.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that might be just as effective
It May Sound Fishy, but She's Got All the Other Acts Schooled!
50-something woman to friend: She's got a phenomenal voice--when she sings, it's like she has gills instead of lungs.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Gossip | Other sites | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Kind Of Sorry-Ass Man Drinks at Applebees?
Loud drunk man at bar to attractive woman leaving restaurant: Can I take you out to McDonald's sometime?
Woman: No, I'm married. Thanks for the offer, though.
Drunk man: Married? Well, shoot! Where's your husband at then?
Woman: He's working.
Drunk man: Working? Well, hell! I work sometimes too!
Applebee's
Beaufort, South Carolina
Categories: Drunks | Etiquette | Food | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Relationships | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2011-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was All, "You, Sir, Are Morelly Suspect."
Pretentious woman with boyfriend to stranger: That's interesting, because he just had a guy try to sell him fake morels.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Ken
Her Favorite Country Is Switzerland.
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade...
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
...So I'm Incapable Of Having Linear Conversations Right Now.
Woman #1: How's your health?
Woman #2: Oh, starting to get better. I'm okay.
Woman #1: Our cat is sick. We had to bring her to the vet.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Animals | California | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Women | Posted 2011-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why I Stoped Watching Kirstie Alley's Reality Show
Woman on phone: Girl, I just ate a fat-ass quesadilla, and now I feel fat as fuck.
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Diet & weight | Feelings | Food | On the phone | Women | Posted 2011-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They'll Be All, "Whooee, One Of Them Fancy Women!"
Woman: I'll be at the bar tonight and I'll be all, "hey guys, I bought this shirt at Kohl's for five bucks! And I'm single! And you won't have to call me ever because I'm from Virginia!"
Raleigh, North Carolina
...If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons
Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
She Always Comes Up with the Best Gifts for an Old Fart.
Woman: My mom was in the hospital with brain cancer. Then my cousin showed up, and I asked her if she wanted to, you know, go to a craft store and get something for mom. Well, on the walk over, she... (makes farting noises). So you can imagine how upset I was.
YMCA
Beloit, Wisconsin
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Maladies | Offers and requests | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2011-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Leave Martin Short Alone.
Woman, exiting coffee shop: He's like ten years old, but he's aged really well...
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Minivet
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | California | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hate My Children
40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Jpov
...You're Always Lookin' Out for Me, Grandma!
Drunk 20-something, yelling in a crowd: Because I am a grad student and I don't do anything!
Older woman: You know there are some attractive young men over by the band.
Drunk 20-something: Well, I do do that.
Cincinnati, Ohio
That Rug Really Tied the Room Together.
Crazy woman on cell: Do you want that pretty rug that I found at your aunt's house? I found out why it smells like piss.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Categories: Crazies | Family ties | Questions | Sensory experiences | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2011-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Instance, She's Always Refusing to Change My Diaper!
Woman to friend: I don't know why she wants a baby. I mean, she doesn't even like poo.
Edmonton
Canadia
Finishing a Woman's Sentences Is Risky Business, Gentlemen
Woman wearing puffy coat: Wearing a puffy coat makes me feel like ...
Man also wearing a puffy coat: It makes me feel like dancing.
Woman: ...punching people.
Quebec City
Canadia
Raise Your Hand If You'd Watch Their Reality Show.
30-something woman: I will never find true love.
Barely legal guy: Well, you've got a husband, you've got me, and you've got the two other guys you're sleeping with, so it's not for lack of trying!
Clarksville, Indiana
Categories: Compliments | Feelings | Guys | Happiness | Indiana | Relationships | Women | Posted 2011-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After the Way It's Treated Me
Woman, discussing Star Trek: It's like, I don't give a crap about the stupid Falcon death trap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Categories: Canadia | Feelings | Philosophy | TV shows | Women | Posted 2011-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe "Pedophile" Is a Hot New Non-Alcoholic Cocktail?
Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don't think that means what she thinks it means... We can only hope.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
I Still Hate to Buy Her a Two-Year Planner, Though
Guy on one side of the store: So how's your friend who has cancer?
Woman in queue, thirty feet away: Oh, she's getting better!
Guy: Really?
Woman: Yeah, they put her on this herbal diet and now she's getting better.
Guy: Wow.
Woman: Yeah, it's amazing.
Guy: So what sort of cancer is it?
Woman: I'm not sure...
Guy: Is it terminus cancer?
Woman: Yeah, I think that's it.
Guy: Terminus cancer, yeah?
Woman: Yeah, yeah, but she's getting better.
London
England
Overheard by: Irongate
Thanksgiving's Not a Religious Holiday, but Whatever
Waitress: Are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving tonight?
Woman with thick Canadian accent: Oh, no, we're going to go home and worship Satan, if that's okay with you.
Cracker Barrel
Orlando, Florida
Your Editors Liked This Quote So Much, We Were All, "We Like This Quote So Much!"
Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, "there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!"
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Animals | Australia | On the phone | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But Congratulations!
Woman: I guess it depends on the kind of tumor. A baby's kind of like a tumor, drains your body of all nutrients. It's like having an alien parasite.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Akuaku
Categories: Body parts | Maladies | Offspring | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2011-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I've Seen This Episode Of Roseanne...
Woman entering stall to daughter: See you in an hour. (ten seconds later, from inside stall) You know... People are gross. (another 10 seconds later) Okay, I'm over the toilet!
Daughter: Shhh!
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: L-Dawg
Categories: Health & Hygiene | New York | Parenting | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?
30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8x10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5x7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.
Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Daniel
Calls Himself a "Demosexual"
Woman #1: The Democrats were bound to lose the House majority, though... Oh, did you hear about David?
Woman #2: What about him?
Woman #1: Well, he recently came out.
Woman #2: Oh my god! As a Democrat?
University of North Texas
Lesbian Girl Scouts Are Always Prepared
Woman, trying to hush crying baby: Shhhhh... It's okay.
College girl: Ma'am, I am prepared to set fire to your child.
Parkersburg, West Virginia
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Categories: Birds | Gripes | Massachusetts | Masturbation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Way to Start Off the Marriage with a Splash!
50-something Southern belle: We got married last year and he refused to leave for the honeymoon until he went gator hunting. We didn't consummate for three days!
South Carolina
Categories: Gripes | Relationships | Sexuality | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2010-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When a Man Gets a Brazilian Wax
Woman #1: Ouch! That must have hurt!
Woman #2: Not really... He was possessed.
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Maladies | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...According to This Barbie Doll.
Fashionable, ditzy young woman at cheese counter: A lot of girls cheat on their taxes because they just don't know how to do them.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: dismayed feminist
Categories: Gender issues | Minnesota | Stupidity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Else Should I Put on My Resume?
Very loud drunk woman: No, I don't shoot darts, but I'm good at stabbin' people!
Fairborn, Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
The Ultimate Hidden Valley
Woman #1: What do you think ranch dressing goes good on?
Woman #2: Ball sack.
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: So What?
Have You Tried Polygamy Barn?
30-something woman to employee: Hey, do you have those long jean skirts here? You know, the kind that polygamists' wives wear.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. lil
Categories: Clothing | Employees | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Never a Truce in the Trench Warfare Between the Sexes
Older lady to complete strangers: So the last guy I dated, all he wanted was sex! We were on the beach and we passed a trench, and he was like "I'll put you in that hole!"
Escondido, California
Categories: California | Old folks | Relationships | Sex | Strangers | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2010-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Has The Times Told Us Whether or Not We Like It?
Middle-aged woman: So, what's on tv tonight?
Middle-aged man: Chuck.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, do we watch that?
Middle-aged man: I don't know.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Categories: Guys | North Carolina | Questions | TV shows | Women | Posted 2010-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Getting a Piece Of Tail Is Always a Problem in Ohio
Woman to man: She fucked the lobster?
Cincinnati, Ohio
NASA's Committed to Mid-Century Chic
Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting...
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Caleb
Categories: Arizona | On the phone | Stupidity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Only One Game in Town and It's Rigged, Dude
Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
Divorce the Second Woman and Marry the First, Guys
Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.
Alabama State Fair
Overheard by: Wendy and Joe
Categories: Alabama | Animals | Poop | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2010-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Get All Our Leftover Weather, Anyway
Old lady: Are you able to check the weather in Toronto?
Young guy: No, the internet can't reach that far.
Old lady: Oh.
Windsor
Ontario
Canadia
Excellent Neck Rotation-- I Commend You
Middle-aged woman to group of friends: I was possessed once, too.
Group, murmuring: Really? When? What happened?
Middle-aged woman: Oh yeah, when I was in hospital. And I know because I went like this: wluuuhhhhh!
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Jane
Categories: Canadia | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Religion | Women | Posted 2010-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Proud Of Myself
Woman on cell in line for bathroom: You did all that for a jelly bean!?
Airport
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Emily
Acck, There's One in My Pants! Get It Out! Get It Out!
Screaming woman, surrounded by children: I haven't breast fed in months! Why won't they leave me alone?!
Philadelphia Zoo
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mammophile
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Parenting | Pennsylvania | Rack | Women | Posted 2010-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Or at Least Draw Naughty Pictures to Accompany the Poems?
Boy Scout dad, after walking through exhibit: So was he some sort of poet?
Woman: Uh, yeah... He was kind of a big deal.
Boy Scout dad: Did he write limericks?
Allen Ginsberg Exhibit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Afrocurl
Categories: Books | Dads | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Lord Hates a Lazy Hitman, Son
Man in large custom-painted SUV, rollin' up: Hey! Lil' Jojo in there? (gestures toward apartment building)
Woman on front steps: I don't know!
Man: Will you go in and see if he there?
Woman: The door open. Whassamatta, you ain't got no legs?
Man: Shit! I don't know what apartment he in!
Woman: Well, you might be comin' to kill him...
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Melissa
Don't Expect a Hungry Man to Make Sense
Man to woman: The name "Pizza Hut" is so perfect, because it has "pizza" in the name, and they sell pizza!
Busch Gardens
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Faye
A Lot Of Us Are Asking Ourselves This About Mel Gibson.
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Georgia | Insults | On the phone | Women | Posted 2010-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wouldn't That Require the Right to Bear Arms?
Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!
Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois
Overheard by: Ninjamedic
If Aesop Wrote Fables in Chicago
Woman: I wish I hadn't had hooters for breakfast!
Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Your Editors Are Happy to Help a Complete Stranger Have a Trauma
Young woman #1: So we just left her in there with the stallions for like four hours. She still doesn't know anything about it.
Young woman #2: Oh my gosh, you never told her? I'm going to tell her next time I see her.
Young woman #1: No, don't tell her! She doesn't drink, so she'd just be like, "waaahhh, what did you guys do to me?"
Young woman #2: Oh, right.
Upstate New York
Categories: Lies | New York | Sensory experiences | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns.
Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!
Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Flying Burrito
That's What Everyone Says. And Everyone Lies.
Woman: I'd rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MarthaQ
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Massachusetts | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Here's James Cameron to Explain
Cute young woman, watching tv while studying: Ew, they are kissing so deep! It's gross!
Seemingly gay guy, also studying in the table: Kay*, you don't even know what deep is.
Campinas
Brazil
And Test the Theory Of Post-Menopausal Invisibility
Woman to friend: I'd really like to take off my dress.
Shopping Area
Kansas City, Missouri
Didn't He Die?
Loud, livid woman barging through the crowd, completely serious: Move it! Get out of my way, I have to make pizza for Patrick Swayze!
Farmers Market
Culver City, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Categories: About celebrities | California | Food | Women | Posted 2010-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Hold On-- The Earth's Rotating Again!
Female stoner: We have to go to the Natural History Museum! Wait, where are we?
Friend, after pause: The Natural History Museum.
Washington, DC
Categories: Drugs | Stoners | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said You're Fine!
Woman to boy: Put a sweater on!
Boy's mother: No, he's fine.
Boy: I know I'm fat but I still get cold.
Sarajevo
Bosnia
Categories: Clothing | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Kids | Moms | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But With Slightly Less Dancing
Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: About celebrities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Maine | Parenting | Questions | Wishes | Women | Zombies | Posted 2010-07-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Haven't We All Been There?
Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: Food | Ohio | On the phone | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Downmanship Is Fun!
Woman #1: Sorry I'm late, I had bad anxiety.
Woman #2: I have bad allergies and a hangover.
Woman #1: Well, I'm pregnant.
Woman #3, looking up suddenly: What!?
Woman #1: Top that!
Barnes & Noble
Birmingham, Alabama
Then Maya Angelou Bitch-Slapped That Opinion Out Of Me
Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: "you know niggas can't read!"
Georgia
Ten Bucks Says He Still Tries to Sleep with Her
Serious gentleman: The historical figure from recent history that I most respect? I'd have to say... Gandhi.
Cute young woman: Gandhi? I think I've seen some of his work...
Dinner Party
London
England
Now Tom Cruise Has It
White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Categories: Louisiana | On the phone | Religion | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Anywhere, Really
Middle aged woman to waitress: How do you stay so thin?
Waitress, serving woman dessert: I don't eat here.
Restaurant
Saskatchewan
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Diet & weight | Employees | Food | Questions | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2010-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Australian Pornos Actually Have Plots
Lady in the cafe: I stole that woman's bra, that's why her boobs were exposed.
Opera
Melbourne
Australia
Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That's it, I'm not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Cum | Food | Foreigners | Washington | Women | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Stabbing a Stranger Is Okay: An Overheard Everywhere Short Story
Indecisive young woman to stranger: It's just so hard to chose which wallet I want!
Stranger: Er, yeah. I'm shopping for a gift for a friend.
Indecisive young woman, holding up two wallets: What do you think, the red or the black?
Stranger: Ummmmm... The black.
Indecisive young woman: Hmmmm. It's just that red is so classy, you know?
Stranger: Then take the red one.
Indecisive young woman: But red doesn't go with everything... Black goes with everything.
Stranger: Then take the black one.
Indecisive young woman: I don't know. I don't like the way it looks inside. I liked that brown one over there (points) but it's a color that would just get dirty so quickly, you know?
Stranger: Mmmm-hmmm.
indecisive young woman, holding up two other wallets: What do you think, what suits me best?
Stranger: Um, they're both nice. It's hard to say which is best.
Indecisive young woman: Oh, I know... Choosing a wallet is such a personal thing, you know?
Mall
Australia
Overheard by: which is why you ask a complete stranger for their opinion
...According to This Hallmark Card.
Woman #1: Look at that rainbow outside!! It's huge!
Woman #2: I know! It's like when you see a black dick for the first time.
Turlock, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Penis | Race | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind Of Guy Who Takes Women's Studies Classes to Meet Chicks
Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?
Your Editors Will Never Understand Southern Sexual Slang
Woman on cell: You know she's only talkin' to him cause he's got a tractor in the tractor pull.
Culpeper, Virginia
Categories: On the phone | Relationships | Virginia | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
British Cooking: Further Explained
30-something woman on phone: So I pulled it out of my vagina, and that was that. Shame.
Hull
England
Categories: On the phone | UK | Vagina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Won't That Hurt?
Middle aged woman to another: I swear, they're going to make us work till we're Protestant!
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Christianity | Ireland | Jobs & Careers | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?
Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Pips
Categories: Animals | Body parts | California | Feelings | Friends | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Pee | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Use Birth Control
Woman to friend: So I killed three of them already. I guess that means I should lose some weight.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: corey
Did I Not Put My Tit in Your Coffee This Very Morning?
Older man: Let's go to that bikini coffee shop!
Younger woman: What? What?
Older man: It's a coffee shop where women with self esteem issues wear bikinis and serve... coffee. What's not to get?
Younger woman: Fuck you.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Clothes | Food | Guys | Insults | Offers and requests | Washington | Women | Posted 2010-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You've Never Done Your Own Taxes Before, Have You?
Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Ambroziak
Categories: California | Guys | Shoes | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Woods Has Nothing to Fear From Me
Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
We're Too Aroused to Think Straight
Women studies professor, during discussion about nymphomaniacs: Ladies, are there any of you who are in a constant state of arousal?
Class: (uncomfortable silence)
Professor: Let me rephrase that. Are you constantly ready to engage in sex?
Student, alarmed: Professor, I don't think any of us are comfortable with answering this question.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Teachers | Women | Posted 2010-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet Australia's Only Posh Lady
Posh lady in loud voice: And then they ran out of mineral water! I was devastated... Devastated.
Tilley's Cafe
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Trish
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Feelings | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Marriage Gives a Man a Whole New Skillset
Woman: I am your woman!
Man: I'm my own woman!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: David Wayne Reed
Um, by Definition?
American woman to daughter, window shopping in front of Hermès: Luxury isn't for everyone.
Hermès
Paris
France
Categories: France | Philosophy | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Let's Go Look at It in One Of Those Funhouse Mirrors, Okay?
30-something lady to teen boy: It's so... small!
Teen boy: No one asked you to measure it.
Carson City, Nevada
Overheard by: Bailey W.
Categories: Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Nevada | Teens | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes It's a Good Time, Sometimes It's a Good Story
Woman #1, as bus passes bar: See that bar? There's another location closer to the lake. My dad and I went there for a beer right after I first moved here. I felt something brush my leg and I looked down and saw a rat! I swear, it was a foot and a half long!
Woman #2: Oh my god! What did you do?
Woman #1: Oh, it was crazy. The owner disappeared upstairs and came back with a baseball bat but by that time the rat was hiding between the bar and the wall. So he runs off again and comes back with a blowtorch! It's like, 'helloooo, this whole bar is made of wood!"
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: They took my address and that Monday I got a bouquet of flowers. For not freaking out, I guess. I dunno. I've never been back...
Chicago, Illinois
Says She Needs the Practice
Elderly woman to friends: Oh, she's lovely, she even offered to sleep in the coffin!
Cambridge
England
Categories: Death & dying | England | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cinderella's Spiteful Stepsister Would Soon Eat Her Words
Woman to friend: That would never happen. Not even in a fairytale you wrote your goddamn self would that happen.
Buffalo, New York
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | New York | Women | Posted 2010-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost Like We're Misinterpreting the Bible or Something
Coffee-drinking woman: Thank god they're Buddhists. Unlike Christians, where we'll just blow the shit out of each other. And not in the good way.
Marin, California
Categories: Buddhism | California | Christianity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have We Finally Reached the Historical Point at Which That's Become an Insult?
Emphatic woman: See? That's why this is your first marriage!
Sherman Oaks, California
Categories: California | Insults | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The World's Shortest Infant-Care Book
Tan, blonde, 40-something woman: Just stick 'em on your nipples, it'll be okay.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: perplexed chai drinker
Categories: Advice | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Housebroken, Right?
20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.
Iithaca, New York
Hmm...You Also Said the Muppet Babies Were Making You Clean Your Oven.
Woman: The Italian mafia are making me conduct the trains!
Subway Station
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
I'm Thinking About Adding a Wallet but I Fear That Might Be Too Frivolous
Lady #1: I usually keep the essentials in my purse.
Lady #2: Well... I keep a toothbrush, vibrator, and pepper spray in mine.
Pennsylvania
Categories: Gender issues | Pennsylvania | Toys | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Into Suffering, Are They?
Older lady, to friend: If your husband dies they'll find you a new one, the Jewish people.
Kansas
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Kansas | Religion | Women | Posted 2010-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Husband's Chickening Out
Woman to clerk: My turkeys are ruining my marriage!
California
Categories: Animals | California | Relationships | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can't Do the Mental Gymnastics Necessary for This One
Woman #1: If I were obsessive compulsive like Monk, I'd pick a cleaner city than San Francisco to live in.
Woman #2: That's why they film it in Canada.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eric
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Geography | TV shows | Women | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.
Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothes | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Texas | US Geography | Women | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Your Electricity Bill, Erica.
Woman on cell: So what should I do? Tap dance all over it?
Skipton
England
Overheard by: Fredwina
Categories: Dancing | England | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2010-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Like They Taught Us at Harvard Business School
Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Jobs & Careers | Money | On the phone | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated
Woman #1: I love TGI Friday's, but if I could pick any local place to go for dinner tonight, I would pick Olive Garden.
Woman #2: Oooh, good pick! What about Macaroni Grill?
Woman #1: I love Macaroni Grill! But isn't it a little fancy for tonight?
Woman #2: No, we can go change.
Woman #1: Are you sure you're okay with driving in this city?
Woman #2: Sure, it is okay.
Woman #1: Maybe we should pray before we leave... you know, just in case.
Woman #2: Great idea.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Fears | Religion | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So We Chased Her Out Of Town with Torches
Woman to another: She washes her pickles in a dishwasher.
Cub Foods
Minneapolis, Minneapolis
Be Careful Whose Army You Enlist In, Dear Reader
Very tall woman: I never hear you talk about your uncle. Is he dead?
Short man: No, he's still alive, but he's a Nazi.
Very tall woman: Ha ha.
Short man: No, really. He's a Nazi. He was in the SS and everything.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Guys | Vermont | Women | Posted 2010-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
San Francisco's Full Of Philosophical Idealists
Woman sitting in front of bank: Ya know, I don't believe in earthquakes...
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Philosophy | San Francisco | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"...From Outer Space"
Woman #1: Oh, did I tell you? I had a dream last night about Ray. He told me that he was okay where he was.
Woman #2: You know what that means, right? It means he's gone up to heaven.
Woman #3: Or... It could simply mean that you dreamed about Ray.
Woman #2: You have to have some faith in dreams. Remember that bible story: Jacob and the technicolor bathrobe.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if they took many baths back in those days to reqire bathrobes
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Christianity | Clothes | Death & dying | New York | Women | Posted 2010-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Dogs Have the Decency to Die at Fifteen
30-something at table with friends: I'm telling you! Children are like one of those STDs that you have to live with for the rest of your life. They're like herpes or HIV. They will never, ever, ever go away. They will ruin your life.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: So fucking teue
Women Have Biological Clocks; Men Have Pop-up Timers
Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things "pop up" unexpectedly.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Angelica Burns
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Maladies | Penis | Women | Posted 2010-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Right Now, Looks Like It's All in Your Hair.
Director to actress playing Johanna in Sweeney Todd: I just want to see a little spunk on your face.
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: CarvingMyNiche
Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Georgia | On the phone | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Kidneys Will Take That Under Advisement
Man: You don't need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I'm getting it.
Man: Just don't drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Categories: Advice | Drinking & drunks | Illinois | Women | Posted 2010-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean Unprepared to Fight Me
50-something grubby, scruffy-looking woman: Why are you dressed like that?
40-something very nicely dressed woman: What, you mean well?
KMart Parking Lot
Delaware County, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jayvee
I Feel the Same Way About Jello Wrestling
Woman: How is that anything like bathing in holy water?
Man: Well, you know... it was wet!
Toronto
Canadia
Preferably in the Drawing Room With a Candlestick
Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?
Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana
Categories: Family ties | Guys | Indiana | Questions | Restaurants | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's a Clitoris?
Woman #1: Have you ever looked at your hymen?
Woman #2: No, and neither have you, because you're no longer a virgin.
Woman #1: Yes, I have! It's that little flap of skin at the top.
Woman #2: That's your clitoris, and you're an idiot.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Elizabeth Bennet on Her Honeymoon
20-something woman to friend: So, that was how my morning started: waking up with a man I am not overly fond of.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: my morning started a little better
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dropping Off Her Kids Again?
Older woman on phone: June* is in jail right now, but she'll be into work a little later.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: o_o
Categories: Crimes | Jobs & Careers | Old folks | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Time Management | Women | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'll Ask That the Contract Be Written on Recycled Paper
Greenpeace canvasser: Hey! Want to save some trees?
Lady: I don't have time right now. I have to go get rid of a man by divorcing him.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Deana
Categories: Illinois | Questions | Relationships | Strangers | Time Management | Women | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
These New Refrigeration Bras Are Fabulous
Middle-age woman to friend: We're smuggling beer! We're smuggling beer!
Fisherman's Wharf
San Francisco, California
Categories: Crimes | Drinking & drunks | Friends | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, and I Finally Finished That Jigsaw Puzzle!
Woman on cell: Did I tell you the baby died? No?! When did we last talk?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Wil
Categories: Death & dying | Kids | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What'd You Think Was in a McFlurry?
Woman #1: You're going to suck meat through a straw?
Woman #2: Yeah!
Culver City, California
Overheard by: LaLa Land
Categories: California | Food | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No One Expects Me to Understand Technology
Old Midwestern lady #1: All these kids bringing their videos games everywhere!
Old Midwestern lady #2: It's depressing! My son-in-law brings his laptop everywhere. Always on the internet.
Old Midwestern lady #1: Is he using one of those blueberries? Or blackpods?
Old Midwestern lady #2: I don't know, I'm just glad I'm old.
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: thankfully on a different flight
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Gadgets | Games | Gripes | Internet | Kids | Laptops | New Jersey | Old folks | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
*Facepalm*
Middle aged drunk white lady, seriously: Dude, where's my car?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: unicorn lover
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So at the Very Least, She Hates Freedom.
Woman #1: No, I don't know for sure if she's a vegetarian or not.
Woman #2: Well, she wouldn't drink coffee this morning.
Woman #3, nodding head: True, true.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: anabanana
Categories: Colorado | Diet & weight | Food | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ten Bucks Says She Has a Daughter Who's Single
Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?
Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jigawhat
You're My Bitch
Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Bringing it back to you | Compare and contrast | Guys | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Stroke Was His Own Idea
Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Death & dying | Maladies | Maryland | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Hold Your Breath Waiting for Divine Fireworks, Ma'am
Girl: December 27th, plenty of time to fuck someone for New Year's.
Crazy lady: I didn't hear that! I'm a Pentacostal! That's blasphemy!
Gainesville, Florida
Best. Baby Shower. Ever.
Woman to group of girls: I would rather sword fight you than make baskets and decorate cakes.
St. Louis, Missouri
He's the High Bidder
Lady on cell: That Senator from Costa Rica or wherever said that our little Mandy* was the best strutter in the country!
Walt Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Deeds
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Florida | On the phone | Women | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Porno?
Woman on BlackBerry: So what's cream cheese again?
Australia
Categories: Australia | Food | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Hides It under All the Ruffles
Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Food | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Before Church.
Middle aged woman with grandchildren, at 11:30 am: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Les
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Food | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to This Algorithm.
Man: I'm too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You're too married.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: garage girl #1
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That a Little Advanced for Ninth Grade Biology?
Woman: So, now they're testing for incest.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Me
Categories: Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Science | Sex | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Disposed Of Her Along with the Tree
Woman to companion, while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. Otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: ...you're kind of a bitch
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Way Too Shallow to Date a Bald Guy.
Young woman on cell: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What's wrong with you?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes!
Categories: Family ties | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Where They Speak Guatlish
Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites... Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh...
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Family ties | Geography | Kids | Stupidity | Women | Words | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Sure Those Pointed Hoods Are Just for Style
Man handing out pamphlets to white women: You two don't look like you're racist!
Kenmore Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: anonymous
And Such Small Portions!
50-something woman: Fine by me! How much cocaine can you even buy for $180 bucks? Probably only, like, a gram. (long pause) Ya know, that's the problem with drugs these days. They are so expensive.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: her niece
Categories: Drugs | Money | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You're Swimming through Them Like Scrooge McDuck
Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.
Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Pat Trenner
So We Can Throw Stones, or What?
Slightly confused woman to tour guide of a greenhouse: So, why did they put all of these windows in here?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: um?
Categories: Employees | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, As Long As You've Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you're going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids "Messiah," and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
As Much As Any Six-Foot-Tall African American
Perky female voice: Do I look like Audrey Hepburn?
Reluctant male voice: Yes.
Perky female voice: Thanks!
Richmond, Virginia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Guys | Questions | Virginia | Women | Posted 2009-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Rappers Take SAT Prep Courses
Crazy lady to college kids making fun of her: You got finesse, use it! Don't you be so nonchalant.
Krystal
Birmingham, Alabama
Wasn't This a Steven Spielberg Movie?
Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: dominic
Categories: Age and ageing | Bus | Character | New Zealand | Politics | Pregnancy | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Sort Of Like Reparations...
Black woman, chuckling gleefully at bad financial news on tv: Oh, some white folks gon' kill themselves now!
Medical Office Waiting Room
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Ashleigh
Categories: Black people | Death & dying | Doctor's office | Race | TV shows | Virginia | Women | Posted 2009-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Love Good Old-Fashioned Southern Courtship
Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there--you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia
Which, Coincidentally, Is Also K-Mart's Primary Demographic
Woman loading mini van outside K-Mart: I hate mini vans, the only people that need mini vans are old people, white people, crackheads, and people who need 'em.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rebecca
Elena's the Most Creative Pimp in Canadia
Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: not so skinny
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Science
Woman: My legs are burning. But only because I'm putting more pressure on the gravity.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me