Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Women All Categories > People > Women
Recent | Best Of
...Or at Least Draw Naughty Pictures to Accompany the Poems?
Boy Scout dad, after walking through exhibit: So was he some sort of poet?
Woman: Uh, yeah... He was kind of a big deal.
Boy Scout dad: Did he write limericks?
Allen Ginsberg Exhibit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Afrocurl
Categories: Books | Dads | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Lord Hates a Lazy Hitman, Son
Man in large custom-painted SUV, rollin' up: Hey! Lil' Jojo in there? (gestures toward apartment building)
Woman on front steps: I don't know!
Man: Will you go in and see if he there?
Woman: The door open. Whassamatta, you ain't got no legs?
Man: Shit! I don't know what apartment he in!
Woman: Well, you might be comin' to kill him...
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Melissa
Don't Expect a Hungry Man to Make Sense
Man to woman: The name "Pizza Hut" is so perfect, because it has "pizza" in the name, and they sell pizza!
Busch Gardens
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Faye
A Lot Of Us Are Asking Ourselves This About Mel Gibson.
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Georgia | Insults | On the phone | Women | Posted 2010-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wouldn't That Require the Right to Bear Arms?
Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!
Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois
Overheard by: Ninjamedic
If Aesop Wrote Fables in Chicago
Woman: I wish I hadn't had hooters for breakfast!
Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Your Editors Are Happy to Help a Complete Stranger Have a Trauma
Young woman #1: So we just left her in there with the stallions for like four hours. She still doesn't know anything about it.
Young woman #2: Oh my gosh, you never told her? I'm going to tell her next time I see her.
Young woman #1: No, don't tell her! She doesn't drink, so she'd just be like, "waaahhh, what did you guys do to me?"
Young woman #2: Oh, right.
Upstate New York
Categories: Lies | New York | Sensory experiences | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, Girls Just Wanna Have Funyuns.
Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!
Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Flying Burrito
That's What Everyone Says. And Everyone Lies.
Woman: I'd rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MarthaQ
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Massachusetts | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Here's James Cameron to Explain
Cute young woman, watching tv while studying: Ew, they are kissing so deep! It's gross!
Seemingly gay guy, also studying in the table: Kay*, you don't even know what deep is.
Campinas
Brazil
And Test the Theory Of Post-Menopausal Invisibility
Woman to friend: I'd really like to take off my dress.
Shopping Area
Kansas City, Missouri
Didn't He Die?
Loud, livid woman barging through the crowd, completely serious: Move it! Get out of my way, I have to make pizza for Patrick Swayze!
Farmers Market
Culver City, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Categories: About celebrities | California | Food | Women | Posted 2010-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Hold On-- The Earth's Rotating Again!
Female stoner: We have to go to the Natural History Museum! Wait, where are we?
Friend, after pause: The Natural History Museum.
Washington, DC
Categories: Drugs | Stoners | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said You're Fine!
Woman to boy: Put a sweater on!
Boy's mother: No, he's fine.
Boy: I know I'm fat but I still get cold.
Sarajevo
Bosnia
Categories: Clothing | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Kids | Moms | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But With Slightly Less Dancing
Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: About celebrities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Maine | Parenting | Questions | Wishes | Women | Zombies | Posted 2010-07-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Haven't We All Been There?
Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: Food | Ohio | On the phone | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Downmanship Is Fun!
Woman #1: Sorry I'm late, I had bad anxiety.
Woman #2: I have bad allergies and a hangover.
Woman #1: Well, I'm pregnant.
Woman #3, looking up suddenly: What!?
Woman #1: Top that!
Barnes & Noble
Birmingham, Alabama
Then Maya Angelou Bitch-Slapped That Opinion Out Of Me
Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: "you know niggas can't read!"
Georgia
Ten Bucks Says He Still Tries to Sleep with Her
Serious gentleman: The historical figure from recent history that I most respect? I'd have to say... Gandhi.
Cute young woman: Gandhi? I think I've seen some of his work...
Dinner Party
London
England
Now Tom Cruise Has It
White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Categories: Louisiana | On the phone | Religion | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Anywhere, Really
Middle aged woman to waitress: How do you stay so thin?
Waitress, serving woman dessert: I don't eat here.
Restaurant
Saskatchewan
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Diet & weight | Employees | Food | Questions | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2010-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Australian Pornos Actually Have Plots
Lady in the cafe: I stole that woman's bra, that's why her boobs were exposed.
Opera
Melbourne
Australia
Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That's it, I'm not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Cum | Food | Foreigners | Washington | Women | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Stabbing a Stranger Is Okay: An Overheard Everywhere Short Story
Indecisive young woman to stranger: It's just so hard to chose which wallet I want!
Stranger: Er, yeah. I'm shopping for a gift for a friend.
Indecisive young woman, holding up two wallets: What do you think, the red or the black?
Stranger: Ummmmm... The black.
Indecisive young woman: Hmmmm. It's just that red is so classy, you know?
Stranger: Then take the red one.
Indecisive young woman: But red doesn't go with everything... Black goes with everything.
Stranger: Then take the black one.
Indecisive young woman: I don't know. I don't like the way it looks inside. I liked that brown one over there (points) but it's a color that would just get dirty so quickly, you know?
Stranger: Mmmm-hmmm.
indecisive young woman, holding up two other wallets: What do you think, what suits me best?
Stranger: Um, they're both nice. It's hard to say which is best.
Indecisive young woman: Oh, I know... Choosing a wallet is such a personal thing, you know?
Mall
Australia
Overheard by: which is why you ask a complete stranger for their opinion
...According to This Hallmark Card.
Woman #1: Look at that rainbow outside!! It's huge!
Woman #2: I know! It's like when you see a black dick for the first time.
Turlock, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Penis | Race | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind Of Guy Who Takes Women's Studies Classes to Meet Chicks
Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?
Your Editors Will Never Understand Southern Sexual Slang
Woman on cell: You know she's only talkin' to him cause he's got a tractor in the tractor pull.
Culpeper, Virginia
Categories: On the phone | Relationships | Virginia | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
British Cooking: Further Explained
30-something woman on phone: So I pulled it out of my vagina, and that was that. Shame.
Hull
England
Categories: On the phone | UK | Vagina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Won't That Hurt?
Middle aged woman to another: I swear, they're going to make us work till we're Protestant!
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Christianity | Ireland | Jobs & Careers | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?
Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Pips
Categories: Animals | Body parts | California | Feelings | Friends | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Pee | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Use Birth Control
Woman to friend: So I killed three of them already. I guess that means I should lose some weight.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: corey
Did I Not Put My Tit in Your Coffee This Very Morning?
Older man: Let's go to that bikini coffee shop!
Younger woman: What? What?
Older man: It's a coffee shop where women with self esteem issues wear bikinis and serve... coffee. What's not to get?
Younger woman: Fuck you.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Clothes | Food | Guys | Insults | Offers and requests | Washington | Women | Posted 2010-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You've Never Done Your Own Taxes Before, Have You?
Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Ambroziak
Categories: California | Guys | Shoes | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Woods Has Nothing to Fear From Me
Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!
Merrifield, Virginia
Overheard by: Ihatewhores
We're Too Aroused to Think Straight
Women studies professor, during discussion about nymphomaniacs: Ladies, are there any of you who are in a constant state of arousal?
Class: (uncomfortable silence)
Professor: Let me rephrase that. Are you constantly ready to engage in sex?
Student, alarmed: Professor, I don't think any of us are comfortable with answering this question.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Teachers | Women | Posted 2010-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet Australia's Only Posh Lady
Posh lady in loud voice: And then they ran out of mineral water! I was devastated... Devastated.
Tilley's Cafe
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Trish
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Feelings | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Marriage Gives a Man a Whole New Skillset
Woman: I am your woman!
Man: I'm my own woman!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: David Wayne Reed
Um, by Definition?
American woman to daughter, window shopping in front of Hermès: Luxury isn't for everyone.
Hermès
Paris
France
Categories: France | Philosophy | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Let's Go Look at It in One Of Those Funhouse Mirrors, Okay?
30-something lady to teen boy: It's so... small!
Teen boy: No one asked you to measure it.
Carson City, Nevada
Overheard by: Bailey W.
Categories: Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Nevada | Teens | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes It's a Good Time, Sometimes It's a Good Story
Woman #1, as bus passes bar: See that bar? There's another location closer to the lake. My dad and I went there for a beer right after I first moved here. I felt something brush my leg and I looked down and saw a rat! I swear, it was a foot and a half long!
Woman #2: Oh my god! What did you do?
Woman #1: Oh, it was crazy. The owner disappeared upstairs and came back with a baseball bat but by that time the rat was hiding between the bar and the wall. So he runs off again and comes back with a blowtorch! It's like, 'helloooo, this whole bar is made of wood!"
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: They took my address and that Monday I got a bouquet of flowers. For not freaking out, I guess. I dunno. I've never been back...
Chicago, Illinois
Says She Needs the Practice
Elderly woman to friends: Oh, she's lovely, she even offered to sleep in the coffin!
Cambridge
England
Categories: Death & dying | England | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cinderella's Spiteful Stepsister Would Soon Eat Her Words
Woman to friend: That would never happen. Not even in a fairytale you wrote your goddamn self would that happen.
Buffalo, New York
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | New York | Women | Posted 2010-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost Like We're Misinterpreting the Bible or Something
Coffee-drinking woman: Thank god they're Buddhists. Unlike Christians, where we'll just blow the shit out of each other. And not in the good way.
Marin, California
Categories: Buddhism | California | Christianity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have We Finally Reached the Historical Point at Which That's Become an Insult?
Emphatic woman: See? That's why this is your first marriage!
Sherman Oaks, California
Categories: California | Insults | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The World's Shortest Infant-Care Book
Tan, blonde, 40-something woman: Just stick 'em on your nipples, it'll be okay.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: perplexed chai drinker
Categories: Advice | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Housebroken, Right?
20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.
Iithaca, New York
Hmm...You Also Said the Muppet Babies Were Making You Clean Your Oven.
Woman: The Italian mafia are making me conduct the trains!
Subway Station
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
I'm Thinking About Adding a Wallet but I Fear That Might Be Too Frivolous
Lady #1: I usually keep the essentials in my purse.
Lady #2: Well... I keep a toothbrush, vibrator, and pepper spray in mine.
Pennsylvania
Categories: Gender issues | Pennsylvania | Toys | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Into Suffering, Are They?
Older lady, to friend: If your husband dies they'll find you a new one, the Jewish people.
Kansas
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Kansas | Religion | Women | Posted 2010-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Husband's Chickening Out
Woman to clerk: My turkeys are ruining my marriage!
California
Categories: Animals | California | Relationships | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can't Do the Mental Gymnastics Necessary for This One
Woman #1: If I were obsessive compulsive like Monk, I'd pick a cleaner city than San Francisco to live in.
Woman #2: That's why they film it in Canada.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eric
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Geography | TV shows | Women | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.
Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothes | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Texas | US Geography | Women | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Your Electricity Bill, Erica.
Woman on cell: So what should I do? Tap dance all over it?
Skipton
England
Overheard by: Fredwina
Categories: Dancing | England | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2010-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Like They Taught Us at Harvard Business School
Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Jobs & Careers | Money | On the phone | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated
Woman #1: I love TGI Friday's, but if I could pick any local place to go for dinner tonight, I would pick Olive Garden.
Woman #2: Oooh, good pick! What about Macaroni Grill?
Woman #1: I love Macaroni Grill! But isn't it a little fancy for tonight?
Woman #2: No, we can go change.
Woman #1: Are you sure you're okay with driving in this city?
Woman #2: Sure, it is okay.
Woman #1: Maybe we should pray before we leave... you know, just in case.
Woman #2: Great idea.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Fears | Religion | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So We Chased Her Out Of Town with Torches
Woman to another: She washes her pickles in a dishwasher.
Cub Foods
Minneapolis, Minneapolis
Be Careful Whose Army You Enlist In, Dear Reader
Very tall woman: I never hear you talk about your uncle. Is he dead?
Short man: No, he's still alive, but he's a Nazi.
Very tall woman: Ha ha.
Short man: No, really. He's a Nazi. He was in the SS and everything.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Guys | Vermont | Women | Posted 2010-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
San Francisco's Full Of Philosophical Idealists
Woman sitting in front of bank: Ya know, I don't believe in earthquakes...
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Philosophy | San Francisco | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"...From Outer Space"
Woman #1: Oh, did I tell you? I had a dream last night about Ray. He told me that he was okay where he was.
Woman #2: You know what that means, right? It means he's gone up to heaven.
Woman #3: Or... It could simply mean that you dreamed about Ray.
Woman #2: You have to have some faith in dreams. Remember that bible story: Jacob and the technicolor bathrobe.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if they took many baths back in those days to reqire bathrobes
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Christianity | Clothes | Death & dying | New York | Women | Posted 2010-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Dogs Have the Decency to Die at Fifteen
30-something at table with friends: I'm telling you! Children are like one of those STDs that you have to live with for the rest of your life. They're like herpes or HIV. They will never, ever, ever go away. They will ruin your life.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: So fucking teue
Women Have Biological Clocks; Men Have Pop-up Timers
Woman #1: In all seriousness, given the choice, I don't know whether I'd prefer to be male or female.
Woman #2: It'd be really nice not to have cramps.
Woman #1: Yeah, and bleeding in public can be embarrassing, but perhaps less embarrassing than having things "pop up" unexpectedly.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Angelica Burns
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Maladies | Penis | Women | Posted 2010-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Right Now, Looks Like It's All in Your Hair.
Director to actress playing Johanna in Sweeney Todd: I just want to see a little spunk on your face.
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: CarvingMyNiche
Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Georgia | On the phone | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Kidneys Will Take That Under Advisement
Man: You don't need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I'm getting it.
Man: Just don't drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Categories: Advice | Drinking & drunks | Illinois | Women | Posted 2010-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean Unprepared to Fight Me
50-something grubby, scruffy-looking woman: Why are you dressed like that?
40-something very nicely dressed woman: What, you mean well?
KMart Parking Lot
Delaware County, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jayvee
I Feel the Same Way About Jello Wrestling
Woman: How is that anything like bathing in holy water?
Man: Well, you know... it was wet!
Toronto
Canadia
Preferably in the Drawing Room With a Candlestick
Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?
Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana
Categories: Family ties | Guys | Indiana | Questions | Restaurants | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's a Clitoris?
Woman #1: Have you ever looked at your hymen?
Woman #2: No, and neither have you, because you're no longer a virgin.
Woman #1: Yes, I have! It's that little flap of skin at the top.
Woman #2: That's your clitoris, and you're an idiot.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Elizabeth Bennet on Her Honeymoon
20-something woman to friend: So, that was how my morning started: waking up with a man I am not overly fond of.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: my morning started a little better
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dropping Off Her Kids Again?
Older woman on phone: June* is in jail right now, but she'll be into work a little later.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: o_o
Categories: Crimes | Jobs & Careers | Old folks | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Time Management | Women | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'll Ask That the Contract Be Written on Recycled Paper
Greenpeace canvasser: Hey! Want to save some trees?
Lady: I don't have time right now. I have to go get rid of a man by divorcing him.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Deana
Categories: Illinois | Questions | Relationships | Strangers | Time Management | Women | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
These New Refrigeration Bras Are Fabulous
Middle-age woman to friend: We're smuggling beer! We're smuggling beer!
Fisherman's Wharf
San Francisco, California
Categories: Crimes | Drinking & drunks | Friends | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, and I Finally Finished That Jigsaw Puzzle!
Woman on cell: Did I tell you the baby died? No?! When did we last talk?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Wil
Categories: Death & dying | Kids | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What'd You Think Was in a McFlurry?
Woman #1: You're going to suck meat through a straw?
Woman #2: Yeah!
Culver City, California
Overheard by: LaLa Land
Categories: California | Food | Questions | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No One Expects Me to Understand Technology
Old Midwestern lady #1: All these kids bringing their videos games everywhere!
Old Midwestern lady #2: It's depressing! My son-in-law brings his laptop everywhere. Always on the internet.
Old Midwestern lady #1: Is he using one of those blueberries? Or blackpods?
Old Midwestern lady #2: I don't know, I'm just glad I'm old.
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: thankfully on a different flight
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Gadgets | Games | Gripes | Internet | Kids | Laptops | New Jersey | Old folks | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
*Facepalm*
Middle aged drunk white lady, seriously: Dude, where's my car?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: unicorn lover
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So at the Very Least, She Hates Freedom.
Woman #1: No, I don't know for sure if she's a vegetarian or not.
Woman #2: Well, she wouldn't drink coffee this morning.
Woman #3, nodding head: True, true.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: anabanana
Categories: Colorado | Diet & weight | Food | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ten Bucks Says She Has a Daughter Who's Single
Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?
Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jigawhat
You're My Bitch
Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Bringing it back to you | Compare and contrast | Guys | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Stroke Was His Own Idea
Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Death & dying | Maladies | Maryland | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Hold Your Breath Waiting for Divine Fireworks, Ma'am
Girl: December 27th, plenty of time to fuck someone for New Year's.
Crazy lady: I didn't hear that! I'm a Pentacostal! That's blasphemy!
Gainesville, Florida
Best. Baby Shower. Ever.
Woman to group of girls: I would rather sword fight you than make baskets and decorate cakes.
St. Louis, Missouri
He's the High Bidder
Lady on cell: That Senator from Costa Rica or wherever said that our little Mandy* was the best strutter in the country!
Walt Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Deeds
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Florida | On the phone | Women | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Porno?
Woman on BlackBerry: So what's cream cheese again?
Australia
Categories: Australia | Food | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Hides It under All the Ruffles
Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Food | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Before Church.
Middle aged woman with grandchildren, at 11:30 am: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Les
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Food | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to This Algorithm.
Man: I'm too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You're too married.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: garage girl #1
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That a Little Advanced for Ninth Grade Biology?
Woman: So, now they're testing for incest.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Me
Categories: Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Science | Sex | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Disposed Of Her Along with the Tree
Woman to companion, while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. Otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: ...you're kind of a bitch
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Way Too Shallow to Date a Bald Guy.
Young woman on cell: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What's wrong with you?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes!
Categories: Family ties | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Where They Speak Guatlish
Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites... Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh...
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Family ties | Geography | Kids | Stupidity | Women | Words | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Sure Those Pointed Hoods Are Just for Style
Man handing out pamphlets to white women: You two don't look like you're racist!
Kenmore Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: anonymous
And Such Small Portions!
50-something woman: Fine by me! How much cocaine can you even buy for $180 bucks? Probably only, like, a gram. (long pause) Ya know, that's the problem with drugs these days. They are so expensive.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: her niece
Categories: Drugs | Money | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You're Swimming through Them Like Scrooge McDuck
Woman to another, shopping in frozen food aisle: You know, I think sometimes you really can have too many Tater Tots in the house.
Shoppers Food Warehouse
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Pat Trenner
So We Can Throw Stones, or What?
Slightly confused woman to tour guide of a greenhouse: So, why did they put all of these windows in here?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: um?
Categories: Employees | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, As Long As You've Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you're going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids "Messiah," and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
As Much As Any Six-Foot-Tall African American
Perky female voice: Do I look like Audrey Hepburn?
Reluctant male voice: Yes.
Perky female voice: Thanks!
Richmond, Virginia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Guys | Questions | Virginia | Women | Posted 2009-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Rappers Take SAT Prep Courses
Crazy lady to college kids making fun of her: You got finesse, use it! Don't you be so nonchalant.
Krystal
Birmingham, Alabama
Wasn't This a Steven Spielberg Movie?
Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: dominic
Categories: Age and ageing | Bus | Character | New Zealand | Politics | Pregnancy | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Sort Of Like Reparations...
Black woman, chuckling gleefully at bad financial news on tv: Oh, some white folks gon' kill themselves now!
Medical Office Waiting Room
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Ashleigh
Categories: Black people | Death & dying | Doctor's office | Race | TV shows | Virginia | Women | Posted 2009-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Love Good Old-Fashioned Southern Courtship
Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there--you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia
Which, Coincidentally, Is Also K-Mart's Primary Demographic
Woman loading mini van outside K-Mart: I hate mini vans, the only people that need mini vans are old people, white people, crackheads, and people who need 'em.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rebecca
Elena's the Most Creative Pimp in Canadia
Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: not so skinny
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Science
Woman: My legs are burning. But only because I'm putting more pressure on the gravity.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Science | Sensory experiences | Washington | Women | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Far Will This Bus Token Get Me?
Old lady to female bus driver: I need to get laid.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: exactly
Categories: Bus | Bus drivers | Old folks | Oregon | Public Transportation | Sex | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-11-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone Deserves at Least One Brush with Greatness
Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!
Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Animals | Education | Girls | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Poop | Stores | Women | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, When the Penis Is Erect and the Vagina Is Lubricated...
Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn't know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Family ties | Illinois | Questions | Sex | Thugs | Women | Posted 2009-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Audrina from The Hills: Explained.
Woman #1, washing hands: What happened to your chin?
Woman #2: Oh! Uh, Justin head-butted me.
Woman #1: He what?
Woman #2: Oh, well, not like on purpose or anything, just, like, while we were messing around, or whatever.
Woman #1: Mmmmm...
Woman #2: Yeah, I was in like a bad accident when I was a kid so my face doesn't take blunt force trauma very well since then.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Body parts | New York | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Government Job?
Woman on cell: Yeah, I'm on my way to work. I gotta stop for cigarettes and a cocktail.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Overheard in PDX | Smoking | Women | Posted 2009-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Should Schedule a Stroll Around the Grounds
Very elegantly dressed man: I'm trying to remember if I've ever mowed a lawn... No, I don't think I have.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Hang on, do we even have a lawn?
Very elegantly dressed man: Of course we do.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Oh, I remember now. We have a lot of lawn.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Categories: California | Guys | Memory lane | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Delight to Hear, but Generally Incomprehensible
Woman: Ireland was amazing!
Man: Do they have accents there?
Woman: Yes.
Man: Like British accents?
Woman: Like Irish accents.
Man: They have those?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
That Faux-Posh Accent Never Fooled Me
Old lady #1: I've never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she's a shit now.
West Midlands
England
In Alabama It's Kind Of Hard to Tell
Older woman #1: I really need to get my flu shot this week.
Older woman #2: I got mine last week.
Older woman #3: Ya'll better watch out getting those flu shots, haven't you heard that vaccines cause autism?
Birmingham, Alabama
Categories: Advice | Alabama | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Mental illnesses | Old folks | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Bad First Date Olympics
Woman eating Chinese food to man sitting across: Why don't you try some? It's good.
Man in creepy English accent: No, I get equal or more pleasure watching you eat.
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Food | Guys | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Same Reason the Tampon Ads Spare Us the Gory Details
Older woman, watching Viagra tv commercial: Why don't they ever show the guy from the waist down with a big ol' boner?
Airport
Atlanta, Georgia
Why You Often See Sneakers Thrown Over Telephone Wires
Woman to man: I ask you for sneakers, and you give me skanky, nasty sneakers? I will never ask you for sneakers again. I would rather go footless.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: but wouldn't you still need sneakers?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Massachusetts | Shoes | Women | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is There an Appropriate One?
Crazy lady yelling at bus stop sign: I wish someone would rape me in an inappropriate way!
Chicago, Illinois
The Next Stupid State Referendum
Loudspeaker in airport: Please don't leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn't allowed in the airport?
Airport
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Kristina
Categories: Airports & flights | California | Crazies | Public Transportation | Sexuality | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2009-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How the Farmers' Market Got Rated NC-17
Lady to friend: I don't care that it's a squash, it's still inappropriate... legs spread everywhere.
Farmers' Market
Oregon
Overheard by: Shea
Why Pornographic Snowmen Never Work
Woman to friend: Well, yeah, but then it got wet, so it fell off...
Vallejo, California
Overheard by: Jerod T.
Categories: California | Friends | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No! Haven't You Been Listening?
Lady 1: So they're getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it's his brother's. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn't have normal children. It turns out she's the one who can't have children.
Lady 2: Oh... so they're getting married?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused listener
Categories: Birthing | Family ties | Kids | Questions | Relationships | Stupidity | Utah | Women | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Need to Be More Specific.
Woman: Oh, man, I wish I had nuts.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Amused Friend
Categories: Balls | Gender issues | Washington | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sorry, we don't do special orders, that's Burger King
Woman who's too old to work at McDonald's: So, you want cheese on your sausage, egg and cheese?
Customer: Umm... okay, sure, yeah.
Centereach, New York
Crappy Cramps, Cheetos Vamps
Women #1: Oh, I know why I feel crappy--cramps.
Woman #2: Ew! Me too. Very PMS-y. Craving Cheetos.
Woman #1: That's serious.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Categories: Food | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Women | Posted 2009-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Has Made Her Extremely Popular
Middle aged woman, casually to friend: And she hasn't worn pants to school since 7th grade.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: The employee washing the window behind them
We're Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there's us and then there's them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me... Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the "Toilet Paper Bride" Game Goes a Little Too Far
Older woman: So I said "Wrap her up. Wrap her up tight!"
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Declan
Adam Sandler's Comedy Hasn't Evolved Much
Lady talking to friend: My little boy just loves balls. All I hear is balls,balls, balls...
Wal-Mart
Anniston, Alabama
Overheard by: Tyler
After They Moved Him, I Found Five Dollars Under the Cushion!
Woman #1, at party: Oh, hi, Lisa, how are you?
Woman #2, shrugging: Okay, I guess.
Woman #1: Where's your husband? Did you bring John with you?
Woman #2: Oh, you didn't hear? John died two weeks ago. He died sitting in his chair.
Kentucky
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Kentucky | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or, Put More Eloquently, "What What (In the Butt)?"
Woman on toilet: What the fuck is going on with my ass?
Medford, Massachusetts
Categories: Ass | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Restroom | Women | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Men Are Easily Distracted
Man: You know the black guy from Transformers? You know who I'm talking about?
Woman: Megan Fox?
Man: Yeah.
Holland, Michigan
We Could Spend Hours Complaining to Them About the High Price Of Orange Juice, If We Wanted!
Lady, looking out the window at Mini Cooper: But it's no good for me--it doesn't have any backdoors for the grandkids!
Son-in-law: But that's great! Then they can't get out!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Cassie Barlow
Any Questions?
Woman, showing friend around: And this skyline is where I had my first pregnancy test. It was negative.
Ludlow
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alison
Categories: Friends | Memory lane | Ohio | Pregnancy | Women | Posted 2009-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Raise Your Hand If You're Married to Her
Woman, looking at exhibit containing jellyfish: But where are their brains? Where do you think their brains are? Where would they keep their brains? Where are the brains? Where are their brains? The brains? Where do you think they keep the brains? Huh... I wonder where their brains are?
Aquarium
North Carolina
Overheard by: Kellllyyyyy
Categories: Animals | Body parts | North Carolina | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Anything With Diane Keaton
Woman #1, coming out of movie theater: I want to see Zombieland when it comes out.
Woman #2: That's way too scary for you.
Woman #1: No, it's not!
Woman #2: You couldn't handle Coraline.
Woman #1: Because that movie is terrifying! (shudders)
Denver, Colorado
Or the Redistribution Of Wealth
Woman: I'm all for a reign of terror, but nothing that involves Winnie the Pooh.
Portland, Maine
Hold On-- Lemme Just Wipe It for Her
Annoyed lady on cell in bathroom stall: Mmm- hmmm... uh-huh, mmm-hmm, yep. Oh, before that, can you tell her to lick my ass, too?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I hope she?s not talking about me.
Categories: Ass | Licking | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Restroom | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Was It Again?
Woman in next dressing room: Oh my god, I always forget about my tattoo!
The Gap
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Categories: Fashion | New Jersey | Tattoos | Women | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Divorced Your Third Husband for Peeing in Your Shoes?
Woman on cell: I've been through many husbands, but the dog has been with me for 14 years! Men can be replaced but the dog stays!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: sara
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Feelings | On the phone | Relationships | Time Management | Washington | Women | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well I Love the Way You Answer the Phone!
Woman on porch to man on porch: I really like the way you tell Jack to get off the couch!
Pacifica, California
Categories: California | Compliments | Guys | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Do They Procreate?
Girl: The squid's like an octopus, don't you think?
Older woman: There's no pussy about it.
Birmingham
England
Overheard by: Helz
If She Doesn't Want Them, Our Entire System Of Currency Is Shot to Shit
Woman on phone: Well, if she wants the fucking dishtowels, she better!
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Drew
Categories: Insults | On the phone | Tennessee | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smells Fishy to Me
Lady #1: Yeah, she's going out tonight with some giiiirrrl.
Lady #2: Like... a friend girl... or like... for a date?
Lady #1: Oh, I can't ever tell with kids these days. Probably a date. They were going to the aquarium.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
Categories: Colorado | Kids | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Besides, Greed Stains.
Woman #1 in central Taipei: When she went to the us, she took along several boxes of detergent, because she doesn't like the smell of American detergent.
Woman #2: Yeah, I wouldn't want to smell like an American either.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Categories: Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Health & Hygiene | Other sites | Sensory experiences | Taiwan | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like in Revenge Of the Dairy Fairy!
Woman on cell: Dude, you guys drink milk like cows!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Categories: Animals | California | Compare and contrast | Food | On the phone | Women | Posted 2009-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like on That Episode Of Sliders
Woman on cell: Everyone's a Jew, except for the Jews!
Livonia, Michigan
Categories: Michigan | On the phone | Race | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What If It's an Acquired Taste?
Woman #1: Hey, check this out.
Woman #2: What? Gross! Is that bacon? Is there really bacon in there?
Woman #1: Looks like it.
Cashier: I haven't personally tried it, but everyone who has says it's really good.
Woman #1: I bet it is!
Woman #2: No way. I mean... that's just too weird. Bacon? In chocolate? That's almost like bisexuality: I want to try it, but, I don't.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Compare and contrast | Employees | Food | San Francisco | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Plus, I Prefer Anal. Anal!!
Chronically oversharing blonde woman: If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was a baby up in there, but there are three reasons I know that's impossible. For one thing, I'm on birth control, which is why I've gained twenty-five pounds. Twenty-five pounds! Also, I haven't had sex since (whispers) October, (resumes normal voice) so I'd be overdue. And I got my period today.
Chilango's Mexican Restaurant
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Categories: Diet & weight | Health & Hygiene | New York | Pregnancy | Restaurants | Sex | Women | Posted 2009-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then There Are the Things I Pretend to Forget
Older lady to friend over lunch: When I remember things, I remember them. But when I forget them, I forget them.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Having breakfast nearby
Categories: Age and ageing | Canadia | Friends | Memory lane | Old folks | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's How the Doctor Knows You're Done
Lady: And as soon as the doctor said "stick out your tongue," she knew her goose was cooked!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Theresa
Categories: Body parts | Food | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Terrible Twos.
Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.
Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Bus | Fears | Massachusetts | On the phone | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Knew That Would Ever Turn Out to Be a Bad Idea?
Woman #1: Do you want to become a judge?
Woman #2: No way!
Woman #1: Why not?
Woman #2: I have too many naked photos on the internet out there of me!
Coffee Shop
Salt Lake City
Overheard by: Snazzy
My Train Is Like the Hotel California, Beeyotch.
Black woman #1: I hate when people wait to the last minute to try and get off at a stop.
Black woman #2: Mmm-hmm.
Black woman #1: I don't let them past if they try to do that shit.
Black woman #2: What you do?
Black woman #1: I'll push their mothafuckin' ass back on the train!
Subway
New York City
Categories: Ass | Black people | Gripes | Insults | New York | Public Transportation | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I Mean, That Would've Been My Default Assumption...
Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, "it's okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me."
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn't know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?
Hot Springs, Idaho
I'd Totally Do That If It'd Make Me Young Again
Middle-aged woman, about teenager: She's so beautiful. She could be a model. (pause) I want to run her over with my car.
Bellingham, Washington
Sadly, The Best Laid Plans.....
Woman #1 in bathroom stall: You should have an orgy!
Woman #2 in next bathroom stall: I know, that's what I said!
Bathroom, Bar
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: H
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Restroom | Sex | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except No One's Posing As Gay
Woman, waiting for Two Gentlemen of Verona to begin: This is one of Shakespeare's comedies, right?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Someone will cross-dress, there will be mistaken identity, and love triangles, and everything will turn out well. All Shakespeare comedies have the same plot.
Friend: Yeah, pretty much.
Woman: They're all just episodes of Three's Company.
Boulder, Colorado
Categories: Books | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Questions | Relationships | TV shows | Women | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, I Guess It Depends What He'd Eaten That Day
Female diner #1: I mean, he was awesome. He had a lifeguard body. If he shit, I would eat it.
Female diner #2: (pushes food away)
O'Callaghan's
Chicago, Illinois
How Some Centerpieces Get Eaten
Middle-aged woman #1: I'm putting stuff on my plate and I don't even know what it is!
Middle-aged woman #2: Me too!
Texas de Brazil
Aruba
Overheard by: Why Are They So Stupid?
I Said It Smells Like Tacos, Not Shit
Gray-haired lady: It smells like tacos in here.
Older blue-haired lady, gesturing toward Latino family several feet away: I think it's those people over there.
Metropolitan Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Food | Michigan | Old folks | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Martha Stewart: "It's a Good Thing."
Dominatrix: The best s&m tool of all time is the Williams Sonoma Spoontula.
Good Vibrations
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Compare and contrast | Kink | San Francisco | Shopping | Women | Posted 2009-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think You Have Much Choice
Woman on phone: So you want me to call her anyway and tell her that I'm not coming to a party that I wasn't invited to?
Park Ave
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Christina Federici
As a Reward for Having Completed That Etiquette Course
Older woman with no inside voice, inside a bus on rush hour: I want a diamond about as big as a horse turd.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: bleep
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Old folks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Poop | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Another BBC2 Documentary Fails to Thrill
Respectable, middle-aged woman: I have considered becoming an alcoholic.
Devon
England
Overheard by: Jess
Categories: Drinking & drunks | England | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Require a Cute, Brightly-Colored Ark.
Little old lady, yelling to friend across the store: The world is flooded with Beanie Babies!
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Embarassed at how loud my friend laughed before walking away
Why Doesn't He Just Get That Swastika-Shaped Mole Removed?
Woman: Everyone's been asking me why I didn't bring my boyfriend!
Man: Why didn't you bring him? Too many Jews?
Woodstock, New York
Overheard by: Becca
A Tale, Told by an Idiom.
Finnish lady: They waited years to diagnose him so now of course he's got a lot of luggage.
American lady: Wait, don't you mean baggage?
Finnish lady: Luggage?
American lady: Baggage.
Finnish lady: Baggage, luggage.
Brazilian man, totally bewildered: Suitcases?
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Sprightly
Categories: California | Foreigners | Health & Hygiene | Language barrier | Maladies | Women | Words | Posted 2009-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Smell the Plot Of a Lesbian Road-Trip Movie
Woman to another: But don't worry... I won't give up the boobie, and you can drive.
Bus
Chester, Pennsylvania
Categories: Bus | Pennsylvania | Rack | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Don't Want to Go on a Flight Without Warm Nuts
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since...
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothes | Clothing | Guys | North Carolina | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Trendy Nightclubs Are Like, in Bizarro World
Crazy blonde lady on park bench: Because they're all about gluttony. Plus, it's harder for them to get in if you're thin, because they're usually fat, you know? (two heavy ladies next to her nod)
Judiciary Square
Washington, DC
Categories: Compare and contrast | Crazies | Diet & weight | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Getting Lonely All by Myself in This Little Office
Woman on intercom: Would Joe Smithson please report to the guidance office? (pause) Please? Seriously, please, please, please, just come... please.
High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Miss Fabulous
Categories: New Jersey | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wish I Was a Dog So I Could Pick the Butts Of Others
Woman to group of friends: I wish I was a little kid, so I could pick my butt whenever I wanted.
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
She Has Sex In Very Unusual Places
Crazy drunk lady, whispering: I think I got asbestos on my hands. (in louder voice) Or maybe it's sperm! Heeheeheeheeheehee!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: EdgingAwayFromHer
That's What You Took Away from That Lifetime Movie?
Young woman: I mean, bulimia is easy! But anorexia? That takes willpower!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Mandy
Categories: Compare and contrast | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Michigan | Women | Posted 2009-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook