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Too Damn Many Rude Honkies in This World
White guy with dreadlocks: I don't even know how many penises and swastikas are drawn on him. It's ridiculous! (walks by a parked pickup truck, reaches in the window, and honks the horn) Horn works!
Owner of the truck: What the hell?
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Felicity
Said I Hated Black People Enough for Both Of Us
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me...
Norman, Oklahoma
Or More Accurately, Not Having Sex With White Girls
White student #1: Yeah, it's a good thing I'm not going to that preppy high school anymore.
White student #2: Yeah, I agree.
White student #3: You'd probably still be having sex with white girls.
Deerfield Beach High School
Florida
The "Hugs, Not Drugs" Campaign Has Had Mixed Results
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Tennessee | Thugs | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, It's Not Messy-- It's Calligraphy.
Preppy white boy: You're both women, and you're Asian! How can you have messy handwriting??
Professor: Wait, did I really just hear that?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: The non-asian woman
Categories: Asians | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Indiana | Preppies | Questions | Race | Stupidity | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And My Dad Says I Don't Pursue My Goals!
30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.
Frisco, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | TV shows | Texas | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
*Facepalm*
Middle aged drunk white lady, seriously: Dude, where's my car?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: unicorn lover
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, BTW, Would Be a Great Rapper Name
White guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it "Ty"?
Asian guy: No, it's "Tee," as in "teabagging."
White guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?
Asian guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said "sweet tea."
Atlanta, Georgia
I'm Sure Those Pointed Hoods Are Just for Style
Man handing out pamphlets to white women: You two don't look like you're racist!
Kenmore Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: anonymous
Who Ever Said Dating Teen Wolf Was Easy?
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie...
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis
Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!
High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Overheard by: The teacher
Categories: Animals | Black people | Compare and contrast | Fat people | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sadly Wayne Brady Would Never Attain His Mother's Dream
White mother to white toddler son: You're going to be black by the time we leave!
Grand Sierra Resort Pool
Reno, Nevada
Homie Also Has a Hard Time on Armed Forces Career Day
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler... and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Categories: Body parts | Death & dying | Education | Hawaii | Health & Hygiene | Students | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who's Black and White and Back from the Dead All Over?
Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!
Art Class, Middle School
Maryland
Categories: Black people | Education | Jesus | Maryland | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Draw the Line at Moving to Seattle
White cube farmer to another: Chicks don't like dudes with umbrellas. They like wild and crazy guys who aren't afraid of getting their hair wet.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Hair | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Whiteys | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'll Vote for Him, Too.
Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't "Wil" only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.
Denver, Colorado
Thanks, President Obama!
White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great... 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.
Massachussetts
With His Seductive Banjo Music?
Hispanic girlfriend: Why the hell do you get Cesar Chavez Day off of work? Do you even know who Cesar Chavez is?
White boyfriend: Didn't he drive the snakes out of Mexico?
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Hispanic girlfriend
You Bring the Earl Grey, I'll Bring the Bitches
Hispanic guy to large white guy: Maybe we can catch the rest of What Not to Wear, man!
Austin, Texas
Why I Could Never Teach Middle School
13-year-old preppy white girl: It be sneakah time, ya'll!
Deptford Mall
Deptford, New Jersey
Categories: Kids | Language barrier | Malls | New Jersey | Preppies | Stupidity | Teens | Whiteys | Posted 2009-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Your Shadow, Britney.
Translucently pale white girl staring at cop car, to equally pale friend: My god, we've turned into black people!
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
...So No Standards Apply to You
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Overheard at Yale | Race | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2009-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just a Bit Self-Conscious About His Baby-Carrot Penis
Blonde: So this guy was hitting on me and he was like, "so, do you have a boyfriend?" and I was like, "ummm, yeah." It was really creepy. I was like, "oh my god, I can not tell my boyfriend about this!" I mean, normally he wouldn't really care, but (looks around and lowers voice) this guy was black, so I think my boyfriend might flip. I mean, not that he's racist or anything.
Penn Tech
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Categories: Bimbettes | Pennsylvania | Race | Relationships | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2009-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Now and Then, My Inner Cracker Pops Up and Says Stupid Shit
Black girl in car: God, I wish I was black so I could say things like that.
White girl in car: But wait...you are black.
Black girl in car: I can't believe I just said that!
Detroit, Michigan
Nothing But The Chicken Dance for Me and My Posse
White geek girl: I swear, if it's the goddamn Macarena, I'm gonna cap a bitch!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Wishes He Had a Girl Who Looked Good He Would Call Her?
White girl to white guy: Oh, I get it. So a baller pops his collar.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emmitt
Excellent Reverse Psychology, Mom
White trash mother, hurrying five-year-old out of bathroom: C'mon, let's go!
Five-year-old: But I want to wash my hands!
White trash mother: (sighs) Fine, but make it quick.
Five-year-old: Yay!
Lamberts Cafe
Sikeston, Missouri
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Might Even Trump the Popularity of Pregnant or Fat?
Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain's getting, it's pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that's like "is this quaint, or just racist?" and if they fail they shouldn't be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
As Well As a Yumminess Thing
Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.
Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Race | Students | Whiteys | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Fun As Quiet Contemplation Of Our Lord's Bounty, But Close
Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she is? I wear heels and I'm 5′8". I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you're sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I'm up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger (after uncomfortable pause): That sounds fun.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yes it does
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Religion | Shoes | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Their Well-Tempered Claviers
White construction worker yelling into house under construction: Hey Miguel, what are you listening to in there?
Miguel, yelling back: Bach's Goldberg Variations.
White construction worker, muttering: Crazy Mexican drywallers.
Longmont, Colorado
Overheard by: Landscaper
As Friends
White guy: So, is it true that when you die you go to heaven and get forty virgins to do whatever with?
Muslim guy: No, that's wrong. It's heaven: you get as many virgins as you want.
Liberty High School
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Compare and contrast | Guys | Questions | Religion | Religious fanatics | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Whiteys | Posted 2008-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Spare Time I'll Either Collect Stamps or Become President
Rich college white guy: If this music thing doesn't work out for me, my backup is med school.
Malibu, California
Overheard by: Stephen Perlstein
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Frat boy types | Music | Whiteys | Posted 2008-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Took Music Class at Montessori School
Very white mom: "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round..." Sing with me, honey.
Very white four-year old daughter: "Rollin' down the street smokin'..."
Walt Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things...until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh...?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Categories: Clothes | Crazies | Customers | Default | Family ties | History | Insults | Mental illnesses | Old folks | Pennsylvania | Race | Stores | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Have a Little More Captain in Me Than Most People
30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!
BART Escalator
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv
Categories: Clothes | Default | Drinking & drunks | Euphemisms | San Francisco | Train | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When You Thought This Cultural Reference Was Dead...
White, middle aged music professor: I don't do sevenths. Homie don't play that.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
A Black Friend Wearing Fubu Might Even Get Me Free Drinks
White girl: I wish I had an Obama t-shirt to wear tonight. (pause) Although I'm sure if I brought a black friend it'd be just the same.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: lb
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
It's Like Having a Principle, Only Easier
Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.
Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee
His Life Is a Rich Tapestry of Loud Bullshit
50-ish white lady: He's a Christian rapper, but during the day he sells insurance.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Ashley
I Knew Those DJ Lessons Were a Poor Idea
White father: There's Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There's sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!
Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Carrie
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Food | Kids | Malls | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Whiteys | Posted 2008-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I'm Trying Not to Press My Luck
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
Categories: Christianity | Michigan | Offers and requests | Offspring | Pregnancy | Religious fanatics | Sexuality | Whiteys | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Isn't an All-Male Choir Kinda Gay?
Weird Asian guy: You've never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It's a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I've heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Guys | Orgasm | Singing | Washington | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Gonna Write Off This Ride As an Educational Expense
WASPy college student to cab driver: You're absolutely right, sir. A curse upon the Saudis.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Whatever You Say, Latonya
Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother's birthday is tomorrow. He's Aryan.
Wal-Mart
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | Family ties | On the phone | Pride | Race | Stores | Stupidity | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When Race Relations Were Improving in Boston
White tourist: I'm really sorry -- I don't have any change. If I did, I'd give you some, but I don't, so... sorry. Good luck with everything...
Black dude: Cracka, I'm ain't homeless!
Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Default | Feelings | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Tourists | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once a Month. Our People Love Dragons and Firecrackers
White girl to Asian guy: So... How often is Chinese New Year?
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Idiots | Maryland | Overheard in College Park | Questions | Students | Stupidity | Time Management | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus, You Get to Have Boobs
Asian girl: Well, I don't know what it's like being white.
White girl: You feel guilty all the time.
White guy: Yeah, for things you never did.
Asian girl: Awesome!
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
But I'd Only Be a Truckstop Ho for Mad Cash
Rich white chick: Fuck, yeah, I'd be a car ho for some sweet cash.
Christchurch, Canterbury
New Zealand
Categories: Bimbettes | Jobs & Careers | New Zealand | Whiteys | Posted 2008-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do White People Even Have "People"?
Group of white guys: We're visiting here from South Africa.
Loud drunk girl: Do you miss your people?
Arlington, Virginia
There Are Black People in Wisconsin?
Black party hostess: So, are there any black people in Nevada?
Drunk white hippie girl from Nevada: No! But we might as well be black, because we're so uneducated and everything, you know? [Room, full of black professionals, explodes with laughter.]
Black suit: I need a very dry martini right now.
Gregory Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Categories: Black people | Race | Whiteys | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, "Horticulture" Doesn't Mean What You Think
Angry white boy, motioning at plants: I just wanna pull all o' the fuckin' flowers outta the fuckin' pots!
8th and Walnut Street
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: passing by in a car
I'm Jealous of Their Melanin
White girl: I don't know why I don't like dark-skinned people...
White guy: Maybe because you're a racist?
White girl, annoyed: Nooo... I just don't like them.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Overheard at McGill | Race | Whiteys | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hint: You're on the Wrong Track
White boy: I'm just a freshman. I don't know how to get bitches yet.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Gripes | Overheard at Loyola | Students | Whiteys | Posted 2007-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Why Are You Putting on Your Running Shoes?
Nervous white guy to friend: Are we gonna be the only white people on the train?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: eastchestnut
Categories: Overheard in Philly | Questions | Race | Whiteys | Posted 2007-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Not Even Drunk!
Whitey thug: I can't listen to you anymore! You just ended a sentence with a motherfucking preposition!
Gas station
North Carolina
Overheard by: KommissarKrunch
Categories: North Carolina | Whiteys | Words | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay Fashion Designers?
Skinny white kid: Who doesn't love black chicks with fat asses?
Political Theory class, University of Southern California
Los Angeles, California
Lisa Gets Sold into Slavery on the Barbary Coast
White girl on cell: But we couldn't tell if he's a pirate...
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Overheard in Philly | Whiteys | Posted 2007-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Think a Swarovski Crystal Will Be Just the Thing to Brighten Her Day
Southern lady: I'm getting this for my daughter. She lost everything when the roaches took over the trailer.
Call on a home shopping channel
Categories: Gossip | Insects | Television & radio | Whiteys | Posted 2007-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Otherwise No One Will Believe Me
White basketball coach at end of middle school game: Wait... Wait! Don't let any black people leave. I need to take their picture!
Ohio
Overheard by: A rare sighting
