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Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!
Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
Plus I Feel a Little Gay Riding a Log
Intimidating black man on log flume: This ain't no romantic cruise!
Busch Gardens, Florida
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Feelings | Florida | Thugs | Posted 2010-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then Only Because It Was on the Marriage Certificate
Thugette: I went out with him for like two weeks before I even found out his name.
East Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: marcosx
Categories: Canadia | Relationships | Thugs | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guess Somebody Wants to Go to College
Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
Categories: Education | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Threats | Thugs | Virginia | Posted 2010-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "Hugs, Not Drugs" Campaign Has Had Mixed Results
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Tennessee | Thugs | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are the Two Mutually Exclusive?
Fat effeminate thug: Bitch, are you a daddy's gurl o' you jus' anotha gorilla?
North Hollywood
California
Overheard by: busninja
Categories: Animals | California | Compare and contrast | Fat people | Insults | Questions | Thugs | Posted 2010-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Just a Little More Downtown
20-something trendy gangster: I'm just there for looks, you know? (pause) I'm like the sculpture of David, chiseled and beautiful.
University of Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Fashion | Thugs | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not The Lake House Good, But What Is?
15-year-old thug, to thug friends: Hmm... P.S. I Love You. That was actually a pretty good movie.
Promenade de Cathedral
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Reb
Last Time I Messed Up the Order and Ruined the Whole Thing.
Wannabe thug, carrying Celtics flag: First I'm gonna get blood on it, and then ash!
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Categories: New Hampshire | Threats | Thugs | Violence | Posted 2009-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, When the Penis Is Erect and the Vagina Is Lubricated...
Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn't know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Family ties | Illinois | Questions | Sex | Thugs | Women | Posted 2009-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Enough About the Livestock...
New Yorker: So how do you like it down here?
Local thug: If it weren't for the double d breasts and sexy feet, I would've gotten the hell out of here years ago.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Guys | North Carolina | Questions | Rack | Thugs | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Are on Irony Overload
Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.
University
San Francisco, California
Categories: Colleges & Universities | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Stupidity | Thugs | Toys | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Enemy Of My Imaginary Enemy Is My Imaginary Friend
Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.
Boston, Massachusetts
But I Don't Think Becoming a Baller Is a Reasonable Goal, Peewee.
Thug to friend: I ain't no dream killer!
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Friends | Murder | Thugs | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or He Was in This Porn I Once Saw.
Super gangster teen guy, looking at Victorian book: Yo, why there so many pictures from Greece and Rome?
Super gangster teen girl: Greek is in Rome!
Bedford
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Heather
Israelis Will Even Give You an Argument About That
Drunk black gangster guy, on Tel Aviv centennial celebration: I am Moses! I am Moses!
(traffic light changes, he throws arms up in air) Israelis, you may now walk!
Tel Aviv
Israel
Overheard by: E-lad
Categories: Black people | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Israel | Religion | Stupidity | Thugs | Posted 2009-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Sure You All Appreciated the Delay
Vaguely thuggish flight attendant: Aiiight, y'all, welcome aboard United Airlines...don't know the flight number, but we're going to Detroit, and that's all that matters.
Delayed Flight from Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Categories: Airports & flights | Flight attendants | Public Transportation | Thugs | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What We All Want, Jimbo.
Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's dick.
Government Center
Boston, Massachsetts
Overheard by: Jchill
Categories: BJs | Default | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Penis | Thugs | Words | Posted 2009-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Trevor Had Watched One Lifetime Movie Marathon Too Many
Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.
Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Dack
I Demolished That Problem Set, Yo.
Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I'll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It's on that Archimedes' principle shit.
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Kentucky | Questions | Thugs | Words | Posted 2009-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin
Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.
Mall
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: girl with the magical booty
"Barack Hussein Obama?" Please.
Woman to thug in fur coat: Now, I don't even know your real name or your birth certificate name.
Thug in fur coat, puzzled: Most black people don't know each other's real names!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: EmGusk
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Names | New Jersey | Race | Thugs | Women | Posted 2009-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Daytime TV Sucks, Man
Thug #1: So then we went down to that school, and Steve threw some rocks at the retarded kids.
Thug #2: Wait, didn't you do that last week?
Thug #1: Yeah, that's Steve's new thing.
Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JChill
Technically, It Was a Barbie Doll and a Handkerchief
Sidewalk hoodlum to another: He had this bangin' ass bitch all up in his tent--and he doesn't even have a tent!
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Fzzzzzzzt
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Sexuality | Thugs | Washington | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Or Stay Here and Piss My Initials? Make Up Your Mind
Thug to another: You want me to go home and take a shit?
Lake Grove, New York
Which Was the Thesis of My Last Biology Paper
Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl "Orangutan titties."
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.
MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.
Categories: Animals | Arizona | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Names | Nipples | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Thugs | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Cantaloupe Bong Isn't an "Invention", Per Se...
Thug: So I just need somewhere to test my invention...
Washington, DC
Overheard by: can't help but wonder...
Categories: Thugs | Washington, DC | Wishes | Posted 2008-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Vertical Bars Are So Slimming
20-something goth/thug girl: Remember the time I went to jail? I didn't want to leave!
Denny's
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: I didn't want to be at dennys
Categories: Crimes | Default | Girls | Goths | Memory lane | Restaurants | Texas | Thugs | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, You Suck at the Dozens
Young thug #1: Your momma is a rat.
Young thug #2: At least she isn't a hood rat like your momma.
Young thug #1: Well at least everyone who is with my momma has a good time. I should know, I hear it.
Galleria
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: annoying blonde girl
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Insults | New York | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So the Reverend Wrote That Down under "Burial Wishes"
Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: "Bitch, there'd better be flowers on my balls!"
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.
Mission Hill
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Henry
Categories: Balls | Friends | Massachusetts | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Appreciate Your Candor
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain't gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Categories: Bragging | California | Compliments | Etiquette | Offers and requests | Penis | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don't we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
I'm Not Sure Hocking Your VCR Quite Counts
Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I'm going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.
Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Slylock Fox's Puzzle: How Many Things Are Wrong with This Conversation?
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I'm facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can't even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
...Full Of Heroin?
Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?
CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana
Categories: Crimes | Default | Hubbies | Memory lane | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Thugs | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Had a Dream About It.
Thug on cell: Fuck off, man. Don't even try arguing with me. I'm a fucking expert on this shit. I wikipedia-ed it last night.
Carousel Mall
Syracuse, New York
I'm Probably Not Doing My Part
Thug #1: Man, it's so hard to be in a relationship these days.
Thug #2: Yeah, my relationships die faster than those goldfish you win at a carnival.
Columbus, Ohio
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Ohio | Relationships | Thugs | Posted 2008-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Has He Given You a Satisfactory Answer to That Question?
Thugette, into phone: How it gon' be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin' the next?
Asian guy: It's called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don't need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
... Until You Find Jesus
Thug: Yeah, right... The sign shouldn't read 'Welcome to Omaha' -- it should read 'Welcome to Omaha... You're gonna get fucking lost.'
Omaha, Nebraska
Just Like Newfoundland and East Berlin
Thug #1: New England is a state!
Thug #2: New England is a country!
Thug #1: Naw, it's a state. You know -- New York, New Jersey, New England!
Thug #3: You both crazy. New England is a city! It got an NFL team -- the New England Patriots!
Thug #1: Naw, man, they sometimes be namin' teams after states, like Minnesota Vikings and Seattle Seahawks...
Thug #3: Hmmm... You right. Oh! Maybe New England be both a city and a state, like New York, New York! New England, New England!
Thug #1: That gotta be it. I knows New England is a state...
Mall pizza place
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Snoopy
Eliot Spitzer's next big target
Thugette: Yo, I think Diet Coke got some nicotine in it, 'cause I can't stop drinking it!
Thug: Yeah, for real. They still must be puttin' some coke in that jank.
Passerby: It's called caffeine.
9th & M Streets
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erika
Categories: Drugs | Thugs | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and "Stop Peeing on My Foot."
Thug: Damn, mami -- look at them curves on you!
Ethnic chick: Sorry, boys, I have an arranged marriage. I'm kind of tied down to my fiancé [shows ring].
Thug: Come on, mami, let us sit down.
Blonde sorority girl #1: Sorry, gentlemen, we're just trying to eat our food here. God bless. [Thugs look at her awkwardly and walk away.]
Blonde sorority girl #2, very confused: Why did you just say 'God bless' to them?
Blonde sorority girl #1: What? It's what you say to homeless people.
Leo's Coney Island
Birmingham, Michigan
Overheard by: Jamie
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain't talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question -- about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
It's Win-Win!
Bus driver: I can't let you off here. You'll get killed.
Thug: It's cool, man. I got insurance!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Bus drivers | Overheard in Philly | Thugs | Posted 2007-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's a Lot of Smoke around Me, but No Fire
Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, 'Have you ever been convicted of a felony?' do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?
Wendy's
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: maybe he shouldn't use the plastic silverware...
I've Got a Creme Brulee in the Oven, Motherfucker
Thug to pit bull on leash: What time are you gonna shit? ... No, seriously, what time?
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jchill
Categories: Massachusetts | Poop | Questions | Thugs | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What about a Shapeshifter Disguised As Data?
Thug #1: Is it cheatin' if you do it on the holodeck?
Thug #2: Nah. Fucking data doesn't count either.
Target
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
The Rehabilitation Began with Starship Troopers
Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?
Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | History | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Should have used a condom | Thugs | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
