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Especially When You Use Phrases Like "Nicely Framing Your Package"
Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don't appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just trying to get to class...
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm an Enabler--I Admit It
Teenager #1: My parents would never let me wear that out of the house.
Teenager #2: My dad's a freak. He likes to see me half-naked.
Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois
And Stalk All My Classmates Before September
Mother: You got into college!
Teenage daughter: I can finally join Facebook!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
This Concludes My Essay on "Who I Admire Most"
High school student: She's a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: emily
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Overheard Lines | Students | Teens | Words | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did We Suddenly Become That Poor?
Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I'm 5'6"! That's gay!
Baldwin Park, Florida
Overheard by: hmm... point taken.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Florida | Guys | Moms | Offers and requests | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? Now All I Have to Do Is Master Shot Callin' and I Can Die Happy!
Teen cashier at checkout: Are you listening to music on an iPod?
Geriatric customer: It's an iPhone.
Teen cashier: Dude, you're ballin'.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Hoosier
Categories: Age and ageing | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Customers | Default | Employees | Gadgets | Indiana | Old folks | Questions | Teens | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...When Sinking Your Opponent's Battleship
Teenage to friends: My dad says it's only gay if you make eye contact.
Lacomb, Oregon
Overheard by: lalenalynn
Categories: Body parts | Default | Friends | Oregon | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess If You Want to Be Anal About It...
Teen girl with group of friends: But I don't get it... Why would you wipe it *that* way particularly?
(long silence, group of friends look at each other)
Friend, incredulously: Uhh... So you don't get shit in your vag?
Federation Square
Melbourne
Australia
That's the Last Time I'll Babysit Those Brats
Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.
New Paltz, New York
Your Soul Is Irredeemably Banal
Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.
St. Andrew's College
Aurora
Canadia
Dude, You Suck at the Dozens
Young thug #1: Your momma is a rat.
Young thug #2: At least she isn't a hood rat like your momma.
Young thug #1: Well at least everyone who is with my momma has a good time. I should know, I hear it.
Galleria
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: annoying blonde girl
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Insults | New York | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So "Oreo Cook" Isn't a Racial Slur?
Girl: I'll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm... Yeah, the "car" actually stands for "caramel".
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
I Told You When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window
Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that's something.
Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia
If Chris Rock Had a Nickel for Every Time He's Heard That...
Teen boy to other teen boy: You'd be racist if you weren't so funny.
Leeds, England
Overheard by: Ashleigh
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Race | Teens | UK | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Was an Olsen Twin
Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!
Chattanooga, Tennessee
...to Quote Walter Cronkite
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That's why titties and Tater Tots don't mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
I Blame the Lasciviousness of Contemporary Mores
Middle school student: It's not my fault he got hit with the G-string...
Toms River
New Jersey
Overheard by: the sub
Categories: Balls | Clothes | Gender issues | New Jersey | Students | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Feel the Magma Flowing Beneath Their Placid Surface
Mother to daughter, regarding t-shirts: We need to get you a big one 'cause your boobs are growing way too fast.
Flat-chested daughter: Yeah, I know.
Hollywood Tower of Terror Shop
Disneyland, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Gender issues | Girls | Moms | Teens | Tourist attractions | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Whom I'd Started Dating in Geometry
Boy #1, talking to friend in between classes: Hey what did you do in English?
Boy #2: Oh... I broke up with Jessica*.
Berryhill High School
Oklahoma
Overheard by: BlakeMas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Guys | Oklahoma | Questions | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Posted 2008-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kinda Misleading That His Name's Mario, Though
Teen girl #1: Your dad could be a plumber because of his moustache.
Teen girl #2: My dad doesn't have a moustache.
Teen girl #1: Well I wish he did.
Teen girl #2: Too bad, bitch!
North Bay
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Girls | Insults | Jobs & Careers | Shaving | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since His Parole Officer Told Him to Keep His Ass Clean
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There's like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don't know about you
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Florida | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Poop | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Appreciate Your Candor
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain't gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Categories: Bragging | California | Compliments | Etiquette | Offers and requests | Penis | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hello? You're Going to Accessorize an Accessory?
Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!
Aurora, Colorado
I'm Not Sure Hocking Your VCR Quite Counts
Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I'm going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.
Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
The Hamburglar Deserves Everything He Gets
Teenage girl to another: So you can do it! You are going to go there, have sex with him, and I am going to tickle it out of you!
McDonald's
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Girls | Gossip | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Sex | Teens | Tennessee | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
Dude, I Have Totally Seen This Porno!
Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Offers and requests | Questions | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Only in the Fucking Men Kind of Way
Teen girl #1: So the guy you're dating is gay?
Teen girl #2: No he's not. He isn't gay! ... Well he is a little gay.
Restaurant Patio
California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Girls | Questions | Relationships | Restaurants | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]
Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn't know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I'm just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
I Was Going to Say, "Masturbate to Climax"
History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue...I'm sure he couldn't even...
[Class snickers.]
History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!
Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado
Looked Like He Might Be Manorexic
Teen girl on cell: I saw this guy with a man tramp stamp... A mamp stamp.
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sadie
Categories: Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Tattoos | Teens | Train | Words | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Soon As We Get On, I'm Grabbing a Pole and Ripping Them Off
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn't let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Clothes | Colorado | Family ties | Gender issues | Gripes | Public Transportation | Teens | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They've Got Frequent-Flyer Miles Up the Ass
Loud teenage girl: Oh my god, condoms are flying everywhere!
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: i don't see any condoms
You Can Feel Their Effects for Thousands of Years
Freshman: Are Arby's sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby's sandwiches are Jesus Christ!
Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona
Categories: Advice | Arizona | Compare and contrast | Food | Jesus | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teens | Posted 2008-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eventually We Worked Out a Timeshare Situation
Girl: So this girl was like: "I want half your pants!"
Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Overheard by: Melissa
She Still Has Traces of a Soul
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her...
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Friends | Girls | Offers and requests | Relationships | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Disco?
Student at table: Yeah, so, I finally found out what was dead in my basement.
School Caffeteria
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Annie
Categories: Canadia | Death & dying | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don't Look Good Naked Are Put to Death
Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy's myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn't.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I'd look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that's just a fact. It doesn't mean he likes you.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Beauty | Bragging | California | Comebacks | Compliments | Friends | Girls | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ironically, the Skirt Has a Silver Lining
Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like "My daughter needs bottoms."
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I'm wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Myr