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The Lassie "E! True Hollywood Story" Was Too Controversial for TV
40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let's look at Halloween candy.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much
Categories: Animals | Candy | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Suits | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, I Know You Don't Know Me, But I've Got It All Planned Out
Happy, 30-something Indian suit, on phone in check-out line: Yes. Yes! She will be my sugar momma and you will be my wife. (pause) My sugar momma!
Wegmans, Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Categories: Family ties | Relationships | Suits | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh, Suze Orman's Just a Little Quirky.
Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah... Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: mo
Categories: Family ties | Maladies | New York | On the phone | Questions | Suits | Posted 2011-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jose's My Drug Dealer
Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.
River North
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Illinois | Names | On the phone | Suits | Posted 2010-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Only One Game in Town and It's Rigged, Dude
Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
But at Least You're Cheating Well.
Busy-looking female suit on cell: Face it, Carol, you just didn't marry well.
Upstate New York
Categories: Advice | Family ties | New York | On the phone | Relationships | Suits | Posted 2010-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Smell the Plot Of a New Indiana Jones Movie!
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut...
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Girls | Names | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Mel Gibson Pegged.
Suit: I assume he's sitting in his backyard in a loincloth right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Massachusetts | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was All, "Take, Eat, This Is My Foreboding"
30-something suit: He was like... The Jesus of bad news.
Train Station
Fairfield, Connecticut
Categories: Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Jesus | Suits | Train | Posted 2010-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grasshoppers Always Think They're Cooler Than Ants
20-something suit: They act like they are advancing and getting ahead just because they are always on time. I said "whatever, I'm still cooler than you."
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: An overachiever
Categories: Compare and contrast | Illinois | Suits | Time Management | Posted 2010-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Winter Olympics: Explained
Man in expensive dark suit #1, with grave look on his face: It was toasted. I should never have got it toasted. Now it's all... Cold, and crunchy. (in tone of intense disgust) Toasted.
Man in expensive dark suit #2, looking even more serious than the first: Toasted... You should know better. Never get it toasted if you're saving it.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Sensory experiences | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Although You're Kind Of Taking the Choice Out Of My Hands Right Now.
40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try...
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about...
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.
Panera
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
And the Utter Decimation, but Whatever.
50-something suit at brunch: The South was a backwards place until air conditioning. That's what allowed them to advance as a people. Now, these hurricanes come and knock out their power. That's why they have so many problems during these storms.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: didn't know ac saved south
We Thought That Was Gin.
Suit to friend: Coffee is like beer for the morning.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Eavesdrop DC | Suits | Posted 2010-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being American, in a Nutshell.
Conductor: Everybody please be patient, we have an obstruction on the tracks. Police are working to clear it, we will continue as soon as they finish.
Young suit: We're in a 55-ton battering ram, why did we even stop?
MAX Rail
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Ram Das
Categories: Conductors | Oregon | Public Transportation | Questions | Suits | Train | Posted 2010-02-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Was That the Time I Was Temporarily Decapitated?
40-something suit #1: So you remember when I was dying of melanoma?
40-something suit #2: Is that when you couldn't go on the golf trip with the boss?
40-something suit #1: Yes, that was it!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: MilwaukeeBabe
Categories: Death & dying | Jobs & Careers | Leisure | Maladies | Suits | Wisconsin | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Would've Assumed You Could Read
Train conductor, to teenage girl with feet on chair: Can you read? (points to sign)
Teenage girl: What...? Oh, sorry. (takes her feet down, conductor walks away)
Suit: He would have never done that if you were a guy.
New Jersey Transit
Categories: Conductors | New Jersey | Public Transportation | Questions | Sexuality | Suits | Teens | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Great Motor Skills for a 1-Year-Old, Though.
Suit #1, referring to scar on suit #2's throat: What happened to you?
Suit #2: My daughter is batshit. What of it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Body parts | Colorado | Family ties | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Suits | Posted 2009-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Not Saying You're Killing Them, Mr. Luciano...
Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses... if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
Categories: Crimes | Death & dying | On the phone | Suits | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Many People Feel That Way About Courtney Love
40-something female suit to friends: I just wanted to cover her in Lysol!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Wondering what the rest of the conversation was...
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Friends | Suits | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
While I'm Sober, for Once.
Suit lady #1: So how was your weekend?
Suit lady #2: Oh, it was really good. I went to a jail.
Suit lady #1: Really? I've never been to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, neither had I... it was really good.
Suit lady #1: I've always wanted to go to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, you probably will... I thought "Seeing as I'm putting people in there, I should probably find out what it's like."
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Cassie Barlow
All I Mean Is, You Really Stand for Something.
Lady in suit to man in wheelchair: Well, you're quick on your feet, I'll give you that. You're quick on your feet... Oh.
Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Categories: Body parts | Disabled | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, That's a Water Bottle.
50-something female suit: That's a dog? I thought it was a kid in a weird hat!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: really?
Misrepresent!
Suit on cell: Where do you think I am? I'm at work.
Ticket taker: All tickets and passes!
Suit on cell: I'll call you back. I have a conference call.
R7 Regional Rail
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I'm at work too
Categories: Employees | Lies | Pennsylvania | Questions | Suits | Posted 2009-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Do They Need Math Tutoring?
Suit on cell: And then we'll use the leftover money for the Asians!
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Curious
Categories: Money | On the phone | Race | Suits | Washington | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Have You Ever Considered an Exciting Career in the Hobo Arts?
Hobo: Spare some change?
Lady suit: No.
Hobo: Fine. Well, at least it's sunny out today.
Lady suit: Yeah, it's so nice. But I only get to stare at it from inside the office. (looks sad)
Hobo: I feel for ya.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Caesara
Especially When You Start Punting the Elves
40-something suit to another: I should go see Santa, but I'm a couple decades too late. (pause) And if you go without a kid, they think you're weird or something.
LIRR Train Station
New York
Overheard by: BK
As Seen in Two Girls, One Cut
Male suit: Did you know that the most common cosmetic surgery these days is vaginal rejuvenation?
Female suit: "Vaginal rejuvenation," that's a mouthful.
Starbucks
New York
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
Sidesaddle, If She Liked
Young suit #1: I'd totally ride her.
Young suit #2: Her!?
Young suit #1: Yeah, what's up with her? She's very pleasant-looking.
Young suit #2: My point exactly. You don't "totally ride" (makes air quotes) someone who's pleasant-looking.
(pause)
Young suit #1: Fair enough. (pause) Okay then, I'd totally let her ride me.
Young suit #2: Yeah, me too.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Glasgow
Scotland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Public transportation | Questions | Scotland | Suits | Words | Posted 2009-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From George Washington: The E! True Hollywood Story
Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: "this girl is in serious need of some fanny," but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.
Bookstore
Liverpool
England
But Mostly Because I Want to Use the Words "Ass Scope"
Suit #1: Yeah, I went in for a colonoscopy last week.
Suit #2: Really? How was it? Painful?
Suit #1: No, actually, with all the Demerol they gave me I don't remember anything about it...love that Demerol...so much so that I think I'll schedule another ass scope for next week.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Ken Lane
Even the Gardeners Wear Suits in Connecticut
Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Feelings | Food | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Offers and requests | Stores | Suits | Posted 2009-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Pick Up My Tab, Right?
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Suits | Posted 2009-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thoughtful and Creepy, That's You
Suit: Well, no, I've never had an STD before...why, do you want to give me one?
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: wallflower
I Hate When My Electronics Have a Spiritual Crisis
Sad suit: I got my blackberry wet last night, and now it randomly calls rabbi Goldstein.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Default | Names | Suits | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Love It As a Band Name
Jock in business attire #1: Islamic golf carts.
Jock in business attire #2: Sick, dude. Sick.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: taylor
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Geography | Jocks | Religion | Suits | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Gays and Lesbians-- Sure You Want This?
Sexy businesswoman on cell: No, I'll be here at the office for at least four or five more hours, honey. Love you. Bye. (sits down at bar next to young man and rubs his crotch) Husband's taken care of.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Categories: Default | Indiana | Infidelity | Jobs & Careers | Lies | Malls | On the phone | Suits | Time Management | Women | Posted 2008-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Gospel According to Brad
40-something suit: Jesus Christ could not possibly make Seattle more depressing.
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Carefull listener
The Passengers Could Have Used a Bit More Oxygen
Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?
Airport
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: weary traveler
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | On the phone | San Francisco | Suits | US Geography | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Roseanne Barr: The Flight Attendant Years
Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Airports & flights | Bragging | Default | Flight attendants | Illinois | Offers and requests | Questions | Suits | Time Management | Posted 2008-11-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of Those Confused Girls Who Gets a "Moth" Tattoo
Young suit #1: So how was that new restaurant you went to?
Young suit #2: It was okay. (points at girl next to him) She had a salad, she liked it. But I don't eat salads.
Girl (pleased): It tasted like leaves.
Rosslyn, Virginia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Questions | Sensory experiences | Suits | Virginia | Posted 2008-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More
Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.
Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Default | Names | On the phone | Queers | Questions | Sexuality | Stores | Suits | Posted 2008-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like All Those Silly Little Hate Crimes
Suit on cell: That's why I love Alabama. It's really hard to get arrested for doing stupid stuff.
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas
Categories: Crimes | Default | On the phone | Suits | US Geography | Posted 2008-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Recommend Turning Your Monitor and Playing a Lot of FreeCell
Female suit to another: So...how do we do things that make it look like we're doing things?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: corporate America, we have a problem
Categories: Default | Office politics | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Women | Posted 2008-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Kind of a Vicious Cycle, Isn't It?
Female suit #1: She's just sad and lonely.
Female suit #2: That's no excuse for Mormonism.
Santa Barbara, California
Unless You Count Facebook Status Updates
Suit #1: So you live in the Watergate.
Suit #2: I do. The famous Watergate complex.
Suit #1: It's famous?
Suit #2: Yeah--the Nixon scandal and everything.
Suit #1: Oh--I don't really follow current events.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
I Wish They All Could Be California Girls
Girl suit (walking by a fancy art studio pointing at the concrete): Oh my god! That's totally where Ashley peed on Saturday night!
Friend: We didn't even walk down this street!
Girl suit: Yes we did! Because that's the trash can you were passed out over, this is the corner where I ditched you.
7th & J
San Diego, California
How Heidi Met Seal
Female suit: Do you know how scary it is to have a black man fall on you in the middle of the night?!
Mesa, Arizona
The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Dancing | Default | Gripes | On the phone | Suits | Utah | Posted 2008-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was Made Out of Gingerbread and Frosting
Suit to other: Then he kept trying to sell me this little boy for a dollar...
Taco Bell
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Brandon
Maintenance: "When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We'll Talk"
Worried suit: That's why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn't anyone put a stop to this?
Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Bus | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Questions | Suits | Washington | Posted 2008-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the "Bump N' Grind" Escort Service
Suit on cell: I don't know much about this party he's throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.
Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Amy
Categories: California | Default | Malls | On the phone | Pregnancy | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Working on a Novel About Them
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Plastics Were So 1967
Suit on cell: But yeah, concrete is the future.
Metairie Road
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: What happened to plastic?
Categories: Advice | Default | Louisiana | On the phone | Suits | Technology | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucy and Ethel Have a Serious Falling-out
Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That's the problem, I can't just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something... We'll have to find another way.
Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Crimes | Default | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Suits | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
I Feel Like One of the Extras in Carrie
Female suit: Wow, it smells really bad in here... like old period. Yeah! That's it, old period.
Bridie O'Reillys
Melbourne
Australia
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Suits | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"You're the Meanest Babysitter Ever!" She Screamed
Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there...
Bellevue, Washington
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Food | Hands | On the phone | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Suits | Washington | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Either Way I Won't Be Able to Get Off Now
Suit #1: I can't believe I've lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald's Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Just the Guy We've Been Looking For!
Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don't need one. My wife says I'm an asshole.
Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Categories: Canadia | Default | Hubbies | Insults | Offers and requests | Relationships | Religion | Religious fanatics | Suits | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The San Francisco Equivalent of a Nice Dinner and Jewelry
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Ass | California | Cleanliness | Health & Hygiene | Insults | On the phone | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, "It's better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now."
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
Categories: Advice | Bus | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Rhode Island | Suits | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wondered What You Had Against Charlie Chaplin
Suit #1: I meant 'tramp' like a homeless person.
Suit #2: Ohhh. Well, that changes everything.
Yonge and College
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Suits | Words | Posted 2008-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Knew a Menorah Could Even Be Used That Way?
Casual guy: It's amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They're like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.
Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Guys | Religion | Sex | Suits | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Escaped from the Closet and Alerted Red Riding Hood
Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!
Russell Square Station
London
England
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Fat people | Guys | Insults | Public transportation | Suits | UK | Words | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If It Leaves My Coffee Table All Wobbly Again, So Be It
Annoyed suit: Sir, don't make me break out the "Canterbury Tales!"
Washington, DC
They Are Currently in Place
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
Categories: California | Couples | Default | Etiquette | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Suits | Toys | Women | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Than of Ever Tanning without Burning
Suit: Yeah, right, I've got a better chance of shaking hands with the Lord... And I'm a Jew.
Keene, New Hampshire
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | New Hampshire | Religion | Suits | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'd Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse
Suit on cell: Wait, while I've got you on the phone, what's your animal spirit name? ... Ah, 'White Wolf' -- of course. All right, see you then.
Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Baffled Bear
In the Same Sense That Root Beer Is Beer
Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It's like a salad, except it's a cheese steak.
25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Food | New Jersey | Suits | Posted 2007-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Her Husband, I'm Gonna Have to Say No
Suit on cell: I just want to take her to North Carolina and pound the shit out of her. Is that okay?
18th Street and Belmont Road
Washington, DC
Overheard by: glad im not in NC
Categories: Gossip | Sex | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only a Few Orthodonists Do That
Suit walking with lady suit: Well, for that my friend went to this guy downtown and really liked him, but, um, just don't expect flowers after.
Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Your Phone Number in Blood on My Mirror? Genius!
Suit: You are so good at stalking.
20-ish chick: Thank you so much! [Shakes his hand.]
Suit: Keep up the good work.
Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Steve
Categories: Compliments | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And There's Been a Dead Body on Our Stoop...
Tired suit #1: I think my mail guy is dead.
Tired suit #2: Yeah?
Tired suit #1: Yeah. I remember he was kinda sick and he was always drunk. Then he just stopped showing up.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Death & dying | Gossip | Illinois | Suits | Posted 2007-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like a Drug-Free Acid Trip
Suit: I always enjoy going to Comic-Con because of the midgets in costumes.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Becka
Categories: Leisure | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once It Becomes a Functioning Member of Society, We'll Talk
Greenpeace volunteer handing out pamphlets: Sir, do you want to help save the environment?
Suit: Absolutely not.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's a San Francisco Men's Room without Lotion?
Suit #1: The ladies here really have it better than the guys.
Suit #2: Like how?
Suit #1: Like the women's restroom -- they've got nice stuff in there. They've got flowers and hand lotion and, like, free tampons! Why don't the guys get that?!
San Francisco, California
Categories: Gender issues | San Francisco | Suits | Posted 2007-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why the Germans Lost Two Wars
Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don't have pockets.
San Jose Airport
California
Overheard by: Keren
Categories: Airports & flights | California | Clothing | Suits | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want to Turn My Grapes into Raisins
Young suit #1: Oh, yeah, I start my steroids tomorrow.
Young suit #2: Oh, that's good. I need to do that.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose
Categories: Drugs | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Speaker Pelosi Has Finally Had It
Designer suit on cell: No, dude, I talked to her. She's definitely going to call the cops on us.
Kentucky
Take Me, Mandingo!
Lady suit on cell: Yeah, I wanna just have wild, heathen sex sometime... Well, he is black...
Panera Bread
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: kat
Just a Silent High Five
Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her -- same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I'm not looking for praise.
Theatre
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rosebyanothername
Might As Well Go Back to Sleep at That Point
Lady suit #1: I mean, can you imagine waking up one day to find out that you're six months pregnant?
Lady suit #2: Seven months.
Lady suit #1: Seven months?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: jfa
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Wearing Stilettos All Day and See How Fun You Are
Suit to another: She's no fun with her shoes on.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Gripes | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Daniel Radcliffe: It Was Lipstick, Actually
Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter's penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really -- it is. He got an erection on stage... and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: About celebrities | Hipsters | Overheard in the Valley | Penis | Suits | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About
Suit: I can't masturbate to a picture of myself!
Maine
Categories: Maine | Masturbation | Suits | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Absolutely My Favorite Doctor
Suit: ... And of course afterwards she ran up and down the hospital corridor naked, screaming at her husband.
Bakery
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Gossip | New Zealand | Suits | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Have to Do Is Stand in a Phone Booth and Take Off My Glasses
Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You're starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Categories: Advice | Bragging | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
