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He Was Made Out of Gingerbread and Frosting
Suit to other: Then he kept trying to sell me this little boy for a dollar...
Taco Bell
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Brandon
Maintenance: "When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We'll Talk"
Worried suit: That's why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn't anyone put a stop to this?
Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Bus | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Questions | Suits | Washington | Posted 2008-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the "Bump N' Grind" Escort Service
Suit on cell: I don't know much about this party he's throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.
Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Amy
Categories: California | Default | Malls | On the phone | Pregnancy | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Working on a Novel About Them
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Plastics Were So 1967
Suit on cell: But yeah, concrete is the future.
Metairie Road
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: What happened to plastic?
Categories: Advice | Default | Louisiana | On the phone | Suits | Technology | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucy and Ethel Have a Serious Falling-out
Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That's the problem, I can't just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something... We'll have to find another way.
Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Crimes | Default | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Suits | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
I Feel Like One of the Extras in Carrie
Female suit: Wow, it smells really bad in here... like old period. Yeah! That's it, old period.
Bridie O'Reillys
Melbourne
Australia
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Health & Hygiene | Sensory experiences | Suits | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"You're the Meanest Babysitter Ever!" She Screamed
Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there...
Bellevue, Washington
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Food | Hands | On the phone | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Suits | Washington | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Either Way I Won't Be Able to Get Off Now
Suit #1: I can't believe I've lost them again!
Suit #2: Are we talking about dildos still or the midgets?
McDonald's Parking Lot
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: I wish I heard the first part of this conversation
Just the Guy We've Been Looking For!
Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don't need one. My wife says I'm an asshole.
Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Categories: Canadia | Default | Hubbies | Insults | Offers and requests | Relationships | Religion | Religious fanatics | Suits | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The San Francisco Equivalent of a Nice Dinner and Jewelry
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Ass | California | Cleanliness | Health & Hygiene | Insults | On the phone | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, "It's better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now."
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
Categories: Advice | Bus | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Rhode Island | Suits | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wondered What You Had Against Charlie Chaplin
Suit #1: I meant 'tramp' like a homeless person.
Suit #2: Ohhh. Well, that changes everything.
Yonge and College
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Suits | Words | Posted 2008-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Knew a Menorah Could Even Be Used That Way?
Casual guy: It's amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They're like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.
Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Guys | Religion | Sex | Suits | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Escaped from the Closet and Alerted Red Riding Hood
Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!
Russell Square Station
London
England
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Fat people | Guys | Insults | Public transportation | Suits | UK | Words | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If It Leaves My Coffee Table All Wobbly Again, So Be It
Annoyed suit: Sir, don't make me break out the "Canterbury Tales!"
Washington, DC
They Are Currently in Place
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
Categories: California | Couples | Default | Etiquette | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Relationships | Suits | Toys | Women | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Than of Ever Tanning without Burning
Suit: Yeah, right, I've got a better chance of shaking hands with the Lord... And I'm a Jew.
Keene, New Hampshire
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | New Hampshire | Religion | Suits | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'd Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse
Suit on cell: Wait, while I've got you on the phone, what's your animal spirit name? ... Ah, 'White Wolf' -- of course. All right, see you then.
Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Baffled Bear
In the Same Sense That Root Beer Is Beer
Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It's like a salad, except it's a cheese steak.
25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Food | New Jersey | Suits | Posted 2007-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Her Husband, I'm Gonna Have to Say No
Suit on cell: I just want to take her to North Carolina and pound the shit out of her. Is that okay?
18th Street and Belmont Road
Washington, DC
Overheard by: glad im not in NC
Categories: Gossip | Sex | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only a Few Orthodonists Do That
Suit walking with lady suit: Well, for that my friend went to this guy downtown and really liked him, but, um, just don't expect flowers after.
Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Your Phone Number in Blood on My Mirror? Genius!
Suit: You are so good at stalking.
20-ish chick: Thank you so much! [Shakes his hand.]
Suit: Keep up the good work.
Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Steve
Categories: Compliments | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And There's Been a Dead Body on Our Stoop...
Tired suit #1: I think my mail guy is dead.
Tired suit #2: Yeah?
Tired suit #1: Yeah. I remember he was kinda sick and he was always drunk. Then he just stopped showing up.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Death & dying | Gossip | Illinois | Suits | Posted 2007-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like a Drug-Free Acid Trip
Suit: I always enjoy going to Comic-Con because of the midgets in costumes.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Becka
Categories: Leisure | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once It Becomes a Functioning Member of Society, We'll Talk
Greenpeace volunteer handing out pamphlets: Sir, do you want to help save the environment?
Suit: Absolutely not.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's a San Francisco Men's Room without Lotion?
Suit #1: The ladies here really have it better than the guys.
Suit #2: Like how?
Suit #1: Like the women's restroom -- they've got nice stuff in there. They've got flowers and hand lotion and, like, free tampons! Why don't the guys get that?!
San Francisco, California
Categories: Gender issues | San Francisco | Suits | Posted 2007-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why the Germans Lost Two Wars
Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don't have pockets.
San Jose Airport
California
Overheard by: Keren
Categories: Airports & flights | California | Clothing | Suits | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want to Turn My Grapes into Raisins
Young suit #1: Oh, yeah, I start my steroids tomorrow.
Young suit #2: Oh, that's good. I need to do that.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose
Categories: Drugs | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Speaker Pelosi Has Finally Had It
Designer suit on cell: No, dude, I talked to her. She's definitely going to call the cops on us.
Kentucky
Take Me, Mandingo!
Lady suit on cell: Yeah, I wanna just have wild, heathen sex sometime... Well, he is black...
Panera Bread
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: kat
Just a Silent High Five
Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her -- same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I'm not looking for praise.
Theatre
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rosebyanothername
Might As Well Go Back to Sleep at That Point
Lady suit #1: I mean, can you imagine waking up one day to find out that you're six months pregnant?
Lady suit #2: Seven months.
Lady suit #1: Seven months?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: jfa
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Wearing Stilettos All Day and See How Fun You Are
Suit to another: She's no fun with her shoes on.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Gripes | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Daniel Radcliffe: It Was Lipstick, Actually
Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter's penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really -- it is. He got an erection on stage... and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: About celebrities | Hipsters | Overheard in the Valley | Penis | Suits | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About
Suit: I can't masturbate to a picture of myself!
Maine
Categories: Maine | Masturbation | Suits | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Absolutely My Favorite Doctor
Suit: ... And of course afterwards she ran up and down the hospital corridor naked, screaming at her husband.
Bakery
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Gossip | New Zealand | Suits | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Have to Do Is Stand in a Phone Booth and Take Off My Glasses
Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You're starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.
Steakhouse
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Poor Bastard
Categories: Advice | Bragging | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
