Celebritywit


Stoners All Categories > People > Stoners

Recent | Best Of

 

We Prefer 'Hoboes'-- but Thanks for the Weed!

Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: "Thank you very much."
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don't care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.

Chino, California


Categories: California | Default | Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Panhandling | Stoners | Posted 2008-06-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Unless It's a Naughty Nurse

Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists... or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.

SUNY Geneseo
New York


Overheard by: Jeni

My Point Exactly

Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?

Roslindale, Massachusetts


Categories: Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Massachusetts | Questions | Stoners | Time Management | Words | Posted 2008-05-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme

Stoner #1: ... And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.

Kansas State University, Manhattan

Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning...

You Expected More from a Stoner at McDonald's?

Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.

McDonald's
Escondido, California


Overheard by: DLo

I'm Still Not Sharing with You.

Girl: Don't worry, I won't be lonely tonight. I've got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: ... That's, like, the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: MeganMama


Categories: California | Drugs | Girls | Stoners | Posted 2008-02-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Optimum Condition for Religious Instruction

Guy #1: Dude, you look tired today.
Guy #2: Nope, just stoned.
Guy #1: Oh, true.

Religion class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: freshman whisperer


Categories: Canadia | Drugs | Stoners | Posted 2008-02-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Like When It's Too Cold for Birkenstocks

Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don't want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.

Bakersfield, California


Categories: California | Gossip | Sexuality | Stoners | Posted 2007-11-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And She Wasn't a Chick

Stoner: Yo, that chick was kind of hot. She was starin' at me.
Hipster: She wasn't hot, and she was staring at you because you were in her way.
Stoner: I like it my way better.

Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Steveo


Categories: Hipsters | Pennsylvania | Stoners | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When You Live in Your Parents' Basement Apartment

Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It's amazing how little you really need in life.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Orion QP


Categories: California | Philosophy | Stoners | Posted 2007-10-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If All We're Gonna Do Is Fall Down Them

Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don't know why we have them...

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York


Categories: New York | Stoners | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But You're Okay with the Second Half of That Sentence?

Stoned guy: Don't beat me up! I don't want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com


Categories: Family ties | Overheard at McGill | Stoners | Posted 2007-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Draw the Line at Branding, Though

Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he's just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.

Wendy's
Scottsdale, Arizona


Overheard by: Jon


Categories: Arizona | Ass | Stoners | Posted 2007-07-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Need a Day Planner!

Stressed friend: Hurry up!
Stoner: Wait, I just need to brush my teeth.
Stressed friend: Brush your teeth?! You're going to see your mom and then your dealer! You do not need to brush your teeth!

Stockholm
Sweden


Overheard by: magnus


Categories: Health & Hygiene | Stoners | Sweden | Posted 2007-07-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks

Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com


Categories: Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Stoners | Posted 2007-05-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why All the Girls Wore Their Easy-Access Poodle Skirts

Teacher: What were people in the '50s basically concerned with?
Stoner kid: ... Scoring?

Lincoln-Way High School
Illinois


Overheard by: Sally


Categories: Illinois | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stoners | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Suggest You Do Further Research

Stoner kid #1: I don't eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: The RQ


Categories: Food | Missouri | Stoners | Posted 2007-04-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mmm, Sacrilicious

Stoner: That's like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio


Categories: Food | Gandhi | Jesus | Ohio | Stoners | Posted 2007-04-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook