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Towelie Encounters Problems in College
Guy #1: Hey dude, I was super stoned last night when I studied for this sociology test. I totally understood it and it all made sense.
Guy #2: Damn. I should try that.
Guy #1: No, dude, cause now I can't remember what I read.
University Of Minnesota
Duluth, Minnesota
Ad: Kathleen Turner Is... Bendy Vadge, P.I.!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy on train: Dude, I totally saw Melissa pee standing up before.
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: That is impossible! Seriously, that doesn't even make any sense! You'd get piss all over your leg!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: No way, I saw her just take one leg out of her pants and prop it up against a tree, and it just shot down! She didn't get any anywhere!
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: Do you even understand female anatomy?! It doesn't work the same way as you! We can't do that! Melissa didn't do that!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: Dude, if you can't pee standing up, then you've just got a bendy vag.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wizzbiff
Categories: Body parts | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Guys | Illinois | Pee | Stoners | Train | Vagina | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Hold On-- The Earth's Rotating Again!
Female stoner: We have to go to the Natural History Museum! Wait, where are we?
Friend, after pause: The Natural History Museum.
Washington, DC
Categories: Drugs | Stoners | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Casper the Friendly Ghost Has Difficulty Keeping a Girlfriend
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
Categories: Australia | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Fears | Relationships | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Selling Them on eBay!
Stoner #1: Hey, have you seen Jim* lately?
Stoner #2: No, man, I don't hang out with him no more.
Stoner #3: Why not?
Stoner #2: He kept stealing my Skittles!
Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
Unless It Was in Vegas, in Which Case It Stays There.
Defense lawyer, teaching trial advocacy: But remember that in real life, nobody charged with marijuana possession is actually going to go to trial.
Law student: Last summer when I was working at the legal clinic I had a client who was charged with possession go to trial!
Defense lawyer: What? In fifteen years of practice, I've never seen it go to trial.
Law student: Yeah, the prosecutor was being a dick about it too--he wanted jail time.
Defense lawyer: Who was the prosecutor? Tell me his name, I'll tell you if I ever got high with him.
Law School
Canadia
Overheard by: Law student
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Crimes | Drugs | Memory lane | Names | Stoners | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Processed Beef Is My Anti-Drug
Stoner #1: But what if he isn't there, or doesn't have any to sell to us?
Stoner #2: It's cool, dude, he's always there and he always has some.
Stoner #1: For sure?
Stoner #2: Yeah, man, and if we can't get any pot we will just get a hot dog instead. Stoner #1: Okay, that sounds good.
Fat Franks
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Had Pot, and hot dog!
Your Plot Summary Of The Grapes Of Wrath Leaves Something to Be Desired
Stoner guy: So he turned around and there were aliens in the back seat. Then he said, "Yay! Now we can have a hoe down!"
Western Kentucky University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Kentucky | Sensory experiences | Sex | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think We Pray For?
Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Christianity | Drinking & drunks | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Stoners | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In That He's Unavailable to Me
Stoned #20-something: If you could have sex with any fictional character, who would it be?
Drunk #20-something: Christopher Walken.
Stoned #20-something: He's not fictional.
(pause)
Drunk #20-something: He might as well be!
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Jessica
Explosive Phosphorous Diarrhea Really Lights Up Public Transport
Stoned frat boy: That's some illuminating shit!
Oakland-Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the girl in the front of the bus
Categories: Drugs | Frat boy types | Pennsylvania | Stoners | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Sense an Imbalance in The Force
Stoned girl #1: We should go to Tops Yogurt soon!
Stoner girl #2 to stoned guy: Yeah! You should come!
Stoned guy: Why Tops? Why not bottoms?
Stoned girls, in unison: Yeah! Why Tops? Why not bottoms?!
Sacramento, California
The Baby Doesn't Understand You, Derek.
Dude, with narrowed eyes: I know your kind. I bet you're sticky.
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Character | Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Sensory experiences | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Catholicism Works: Explained
Stoner: If I had a brother--and he and your sister got married-- I would go over to their house all the time, and eat their food.
Great Falls, Montana
Categories: Default | Family ties | Food | Montana | Relationships | Stoners | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Licking Me Will Get Us Both Off
Stoner lesbian: I bet if you like, took the time to scrape all the resin off my brain...and my lungs too. Yeah, all the resin from my brain and lungs and smoke it... You could get really really high.
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Sung to the Tune of "Camptown Races"
Stoner girl: My camel toe looks like an angry clam!
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Huh?
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Girls | Stoners | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Hand Me Your Checkbook and I'll Eliminate Your Debt
Stoner chick: I really wish I could bite something and for once, not have to worry about it disappearing.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: don't we all?
We Prefer 'Hoboes'-- but Thanks for the Weed!
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: "Thank you very much."
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don't care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Categories: California | Default | Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Panhandling | Stoners | Posted 2008-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless It's a Naughty Nurse
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists... or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Frat boy types | Health & Hygiene | New York | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Point Exactly
Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Categories: Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Massachusetts | Questions | Stoners | Time Management | Words | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Kansas, Recreational Eating Goes Extreme
Stoner #1: ... And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning...
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Drugs | Food | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Kansas | Sensory experiences | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Expected More from a Stoner at McDonald's?
Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald's
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Categories: Bragging | California | Compare and contrast | Friends | Guys | McDonald's | Stoners | Stupidity | Technology | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Still Not Sharing with You.
Girl: Don't worry, I won't be lonely tonight. I've got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: ... That's, like, the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Categories: California | Drugs | Girls | Stoners | Posted 2008-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Optimum Condition for Religious Instruction
Guy #1: Dude, you look tired today.
Guy #2: Nope, just stoned.
Guy #1: Oh, true.
Religion class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Like When It's Too Cold for Birkenstocks
Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don't want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.
Bakersfield, California
Categories: California | Gossip | Sexuality | Stoners | Posted 2007-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And She Wasn't a Chick
Stoner: Yo, that chick was kind of hot. She was starin' at me.
Hipster: She wasn't hot, and she was staring at you because you were in her way.
Stoner: I like it my way better.
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Categories: Hipsters | Pennsylvania | Stoners | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You Live in Your Parents' Basement Apartment
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It's amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Categories: California | Philosophy | Stoners | Posted 2007-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If All We're Gonna Do Is Fall Down Them
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don't know why we have them...
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
But You're Okay with the Second Half of That Sentence?
Stoned guy: Don't beat me up! I don't want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Family ties | Overheard at McGill | Stoners | Posted 2007-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Draw the Line at Branding, Though
Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he's just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.
Wendy's
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Jon
You Need a Day Planner!
Stressed friend: Hurry up!
Stoner: Wait, I just need to brush my teeth.
Stressed friend: Brush your teeth?! You're going to see your mom and then your dealer! You do not need to brush your teeth!
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: magnus
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Stoners | Sweden | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks
Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Stoners | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why All the Girls Wore Their Easy-Access Poodle Skirts
Teacher: What were people in the '50s basically concerned with?
Stoner kid: ... Scoring?
Lincoln-Way High School
Illinois
Overheard by: Sally
Categories: Illinois | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stoners | Teachers | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Suggest You Do Further Research
Stoner kid #1: I don't eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The RQ
Mmm, Sacrilicious
Stoner: That's like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
