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Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: "Thank you very much."
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don't care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists... or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Stoner #1: ... And it burned the whole way down! Seriously, I think my throat hemorrhaged.
Stoner #2: Well at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.
Kansas State University, Manhattan
Overheard by: I wish I heard the beginning...
Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald's
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Girl: Don't worry, I won't be lonely tonight. I've got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: ... That's, like, the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Guy #1: Dude, you look tired today.
Guy #2: Nope, just stoned.
Guy #1: Oh, true.
Religion class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don't want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.
Bakersfield, California
Stoner: Yo, that chick was kind of hot. She was starin' at me.
Hipster: She wasn't hot, and she was staring at you because you were in her way.
Stoner: I like it my way better.
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It's amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don't know why we have them...
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Stoned guy: Don't beat me up! I don't want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he's just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.
Wendy's
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Jon
Stressed friend: Hurry up!
Stoner: Wait, I just need to brush my teeth.
Stressed friend: Brush your teeth?! You're going to see your mom and then your dealer! You do not need to brush your teeth!
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: magnus
Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Teacher: What were people in the '50s basically concerned with?
Stoner kid: ... Scoring?
Lincoln-Way High School
Illinois
Overheard by: Sally
Stoner kid #1: I don't eat anything that used to be alive. Well, except eggs. And hamburger, you know, because of the cows.
Stoner kid #2: And cake!
Stoner kid #1: Yeah, cake.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The RQ
Stoner: That's like saying Jesus and Gandhi are the same. A Gandhi would be the cinnamon bun and Jesus would be the cinnabon.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio