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...With William Shakespeare?
Older sister: Did you know Louie Armstrong smoked a lot of pot?
Younger sister: While he was in space?
Auburn, Washington
The "Everything" Bagel Really Does Have Everything
Girl to sister: The cheese is so good! It tastes like chicken!
Parenra
Houston, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Girls | Sensory experiences | Siblings | Texas | Posted 2010-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So It's Likely He's Very Drunk.
Little girl: He's drunk, I swear!
Teenage sister: He's not drunk, he's a foreigner.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Colorado | Drinking & drunks | Kids | Kids | Language barrier | Siblings | Teens | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to See a Family Do Things Together
Little boy to younger brother: I'm 'bout to choke you!
Mother, to all children: I'm 'bout to choke all y'all!
Little boy: Together, mama?
Mother: Together.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Jessica
Did I Stutter?
Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?
Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Emily and Aaron
Fabio's Kids Are Quite the Handful
Mother to daughter: I think it's time to cut your hair again.
Daughter: No! I don't want it cut! You only cut it a few weeks ago! It's not fair! Why can't I have long hair? (pointing at passenger) She has long hair! (pointing at girl) She has long hair. Everyone has long hair except for me!
Son, smugly: Except for boys. (pause) But daddy has long hair...
Daughter: Even daddy has long hair! She has long hair, she has long hair--everyone has long hair except for me!
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Emily B.
Categories: Australia | Compare and contrast | Family | Family ties | Hair | Moms | Parenting | Siblings | Strangers | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Difference Between Bad Nazis and Good Nazis, Encapsulated
Teen girl: If I saw a really crazy sandcastle, I'd totally kick it down. Anyone would.
Teen sister: I would never, like, mess something up like that if someone was really good at something. Unless they were really good at something I hated. Like... being ugly.
Rumson, New Jersey
...But Only If They're the Horny Type.
Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.
Nature Park
Tampa, Florida
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Florida | Food | Kids | Kids | Questions | Relationships | Siblings | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guess Which One's the Good Cop?
Six-year-old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six-year-old girl's twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn't snow down here--you have to go up north for that.
Six-year-old girl: Then let's go up north!
Six-year-old girl's twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won't let us.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Judging from What I've Seen on YouTube
Teen daughter: Mom, what does an orgasm feel like?
Mom, looking at older daughter: Ask your sister, she'd probably know better than I would.
Portland, Oregon
By the Time It Was Over, I'd Broken All Ten Commandments
Blonde 20-something to sister: This morning I was rinsing my mouth with mouthwash and also peeing, and then I realized I had to sneeze and I was like, "uh oh...this can only end poorly" ...because I was kind of stuck.
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Cleanliness | Health & Hygiene | Mouth | Pee | Sensory experiences | Siblings | Washington | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Believe the Technical Term Is "Manure"
9-year-old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13-year-old brother, also biking: They be poppies an' calla-lilies an' peonies an' oleanders an' hydrangeas an' shit.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Phanatic
Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful
Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Why "Family Vacation" Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks
Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so...ahem...close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Dads | Default | Family ties | Siblings | Virginia | Words | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Leave Pippi Longstocking Alone.
Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she's getting more action than you or because she's corrupting our youth?
Denver, Colorado
When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience
(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!
Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey
Categories: Default | Fears | Girls | Kids | Kids | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Politics | Siblings | Posted 2008-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Amy Didn't Expect It to Be Beautiful
Five-year-old girl (pointing at penis on sculpture in museum): Daddy, what's that?
Daddy: What do you think it is?
Girl's little sister: It's a butt!
Five-year-old girl (pause, whispers in amazement): It's a penis.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves smart kids
Categories: Ass | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Kids | Massachusetts | Penis | Questions | Siblings | Posted 2008-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Strangely Less Inappropriate
Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!
Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon
Fuck Imitation, Rape Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
Brother: How come mom drives all the way to the mall to get you but I have to take the bus home?
Sister: I don't know, I guess she thinks it isn't safe.
Brother: Oh yeah, I forgot girls are helpless.
Sister: Uh, probably because I'm more likely to get raped and beaten!
Brother: Ooooh, look at miss popular.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Gender issues | Gripes | Parenting | Pennsylvania | Siblings | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Much Like Right Said Fred
Two-year-old boy: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy!
Eight-year-old brother: He doesn't know what it means, he just does it for attention.
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused Babysitter
You're Like Two-Legged Mace
Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I'm still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl's younger brother: No one wants to rape you.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Quazarfreez
Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties
Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don't kiss that!
Mall
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Dads | Default | Family | Girls | Kids | Malls | Offers and requests | Should have used a condom | Siblings | TV shows | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight
Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Still, It's a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences
20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.
Colorado
Categories: Age and ageing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Girls | Relationships | Siblings | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See --Look at Her Go to Town on That Man's Shoe
Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She'll kiss worse things in her life.
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Family ties | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Kids | Kids | Maine | Siblings | Stores | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mrs. Claus's Given Name Was Derek
Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.
County Fair
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: jake
Categories: California | Girls | Kids | Kids | Questions | Santa Claus | Siblings | Tourist attractions | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait-- What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha' doin' under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you're pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son's sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn't the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
Categories: Default | Family ties | Food | Girls | Guys | Kids | Kids | Lies | Michigan | Moms | Poop | Questions | Restaurants | Sensory experiences | Siblings | Posted 2008-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or When You Have Some Good Weed. Either One.
Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.
Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer
Actually, I'll Need a Spiked Paddle to Properly Demonstrate
Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don't even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don't!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It's prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this...
Clayton
Australia
Because We Need to Be Able to Fit This Stuff in the Trunk
Older sister, standing on shopping cart: Where is Mommy?
Little brother, pushing cart: [Shrugs.]
Older sister: You didn't kill her, did you?!
Target
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: No, I Did
Categories: Murder | Pennsylvania | Siblings | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Make a Little Kid Faint Dead Away
Eight-year-old: You should never say 'Oh my G-O-D.' That's bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can't say that! That's bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!
Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Siblings | Words | Posted 2007-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Toothpick in My Buttcrack" Zooms to the Top of the Billboard Hot 100
Sister: Daniel, stop!
Brother: What is he doing?
Sister: He shoved a toothpick in my buttcrack... I hope I don't get a splinter!
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hm
Categories: Kink | Overheard in Inchtown | Siblings | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Was Cleaning My Fist and It Went Off
12-year-old: It's my birthday! You said you would be nice to me today!
9-year-old sibling: No, I said I wouldn't hurt you today.
Washington, Illinois
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Illinois | Should have used a condom | Siblings | Violence | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
