Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | People

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don't kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

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At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

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Still, It's a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences

20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.

Colorado

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See --Look at Her Go to Town on That Man's Shoe

Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She'll kiss worse things in her life.

Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

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Mrs. Claus's Given Name Was Derek

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

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Wait-- What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha' doin' under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you're pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son's sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn't the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

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Or When You Have Some Good Weed. Either One.

Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.

Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland

Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer

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Actually, I'll Need a Spiked Paddle to Properly Demonstrate

Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don't even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don't!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It's prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it's not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this...

Clayton
Australia

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Because We Need to Be Able to Fit This Stuff in the Trunk

Older sister, standing on shopping cart: Where is Mommy?
Little brother, pushing cart: [Shrugs.]
Older sister: You didn't kill her, did you?!

Target
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: No, I Did

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How to Make a Little Kid Faint Dead Away

Eight-year-old: You should never say 'Oh my G-O-D.' That's bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can't say that! That's bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!

Connecticut

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"Toothpick in My Buttcrack" Zooms to the Top of the Billboard Hot 100

Sister: Daniel, stop!
Brother: What is he doing?
Sister: He shoved a toothpick in my buttcrack... I hope I don't get a splinter!

Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com

Overheard by: hm

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But I Was Cleaning My Fist and It Went Off

12-year-old: It's my birthday! You said you would be nice to me today!
9-year-old sibling: No, I said I wouldn't hurt you today.

Washington, Illinois

Overheard by: Laura

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