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Howard Stern Had One Custom-Installed.
Server: We need a button on the computer for this...
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.
Midlothian, Virginia
Overheard by: bec-uhh
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Default | Employees | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Servers | Technology | Virginia | Posted 2009-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Danny DeVito Rehearses for the Next Batman Movie
Waiter in white shirt, black pants and black bow tie (singing): Doot doot doot, penguins walking downtown, doot doot doot, penguins smoking cigarettes...
Spokane, Washington
The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean "bitches" in the best possible way.
Server: When I say "bitches," I mean "hoes."
Plano, Texas
But I Hear There's a Starbucks There Now
Waiter: I think it would be cool to live on the moon...
Waitress: Yeah, I don't think I could do that. I'm afraid of heights.
Texas City, Texas
Overheard by: TurboCat
Well, I Suppose You're Worthy
Waitress: Can I get you something to drink?
Boyfriend: Uh yeah, a Sprite please.
Waitress: Is 7 Up okay?
Boyfriend: Uh...sure.
Waitress: And for you?
Girlfriend: Can I get a Sprite?
New Market
Canadia
Overheard by: meggler
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Default | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Servers | Stupidity | Posted 2008-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter's name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Comebacks | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Insults | Names | Questions | Servers | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Martha Stewart...
Frustrated waitress: There's not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard's
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Cleanliness | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Servers | Sexuality | Texas | Women | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hmmm.. Anything with Bacon?
Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Food | Pennsylvania | Servers | Posted 2007-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worth a Shot
Mom: I'll have a diet Coke.
Dad: I'll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I'll have a Bailey's coffee.
Waitress: Um... Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I'll just have coffee, then.
Cheesecake Factory
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: around the corner
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Glad the condom broke | Parents | Servers | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Had to Leave to Feed the Holy Spirit
Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: cherrynwhite
Categories: Jesus | Overheard in Philly | Servers | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Know What That Sensation Means
Waitress #1: At least you didn't pee your pants like you did yesterday.
Waitress #2: I know, right?
Steak-n-Shake
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: pee bee
Categories: Ohio | Pee | Restaurants | Servers | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
