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...With a Three-Valium Chaser?

Posh-sounding, punk-looking 20-year-old girl on cell: You want to kill yourself? Oh. Have you tried having a having cup of tea?

London
England


Overheard by: Richard


Categories: Advice | England | Food | On the phone | Punks | Violence | Wishes | Posted 2010-07-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

As the Title Of My Autobiography Clearly States

14-year-old boy to punk friends: Jesus loves me, and I don't give a damn.

Portland, Oregon


Categories: Feelings | Friends | Gripes | Jesus | Punks | Teens | Posted 2009-10-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...So Quit Being Such a Pussy.

Greaser guy holding kitten: Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty!
Punk girl: I think he knows he's a kitty.

Bakersfield, California


Categories: Animals | California | Girls | Guys | Punks | Stupidity | Posted 2009-10-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You'll Never Graduate Cum Laude at This Rate

High school punk #1: "Fluids" sounds better.
High school punk #2: I don't like fluids.
High school punk #1: And that's why you're flunking band!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: SaraG(as in gee, I wonder what THAT means...)


Categories: Compare and contrast | Cum | Gripes | Illinois | Punks | Students | Words | Posted 2009-09-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Our Mental Instability Is the Glue That Binds Our Friendship, Sadie.

Purple-haired girl on swing: I love the swings. When I was a kid I used to just sit on them for hours, having panic attacks.
Punk girl on swing: Holy fuck, you too!?

Bakersfield, California


Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | Kids | Memory lane | Punks | Posted 2009-06-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Think You Need to Be Only in Your Panties to Fully Appreciate This Quote

Punk girl: For some reason, everything you do makes sense when you're in only your panties.
Purple-haired girl: I know, right? It makes sense to me too!
Tall greaser guy: In fact, it wouldn't make sense if you weren't only in your panties.

Bakersfield, California


Categories: California | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Punks | Questions | Posted 2009-06-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Have to Get Away from It As Quickly As Possible

Fast-walking emo kid: There is no slowing down when it comes to me and High School Musical.

Wal-Mart
Roanoke, Virginia


Overheard by: snarky writer


Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Kids | Kids | Movies | Punks | Stores | Virginia | Posted 2009-06-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Lightbulb-Shaped Buttplugs Exist.

Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Didn't that like...burn the colon?
Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god...what happened with that?
Punk guy: I don't know--all I know is that it involved the hospital.

California


Categories: Ass | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Punks | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Who Will Punch Me in the Ovaries Regardless.

Drunk punk girl #1: Oh my god! Is that a raccoon? I think it's staring at me!
Drunk punk girl #2: That's a fuckin shirt, you retard.
Drunk punk girl #1: Well, if it bites me, I'm punching you in the ovaries!
Drunk punk girl #2, muttering: I need new friends.

Outside Bar
Niagara Falls, New York

And What About "Punk"?

Punk guy: Man, I hate all these suburban punks.
Dumb girl: "Suburban"? Is that even a word??

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Audrey


Categories: Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Ohio | Punks | Questions | Words | Posted 2009-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which Is the First Rule Of Lesbian Fight Club

Artsy emo: It was like lesbian Fight Club! First Leema liked Holly, then she liked Tracy, who liked Nicola, who also liked Holly. So Nicola and Leema got in a fist fight and in the end, Tracy and Holly had sex in the woodshop classroom!

Toronto
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Default | Feelings | Goths | Punks | Sex | Sexuality | Teens | Violence | Posted 2009-04-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

By That Point, We Were Married with Three Kids.

Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!

University Campus
Austin, Texas

My Favorite Guy to Get Pregnant By Is Also Named Ricky

Skinny punk teen girl: Oh, I love lime rickeys. But my favorite drink--when I'm not pregnant--is a rum rickey.

Franklin Fountain
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: office peon


Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Punks | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I've Got the List Whittled Down to Me, You, and Anderson Cooper

Punk dude: I have the ability to decide who deserves a soul.

Manitou Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Nathan Brauner


Categories: Colorado | Default | Euphemisms | Gifts | Guys | Punks | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ummm... No

Chubby goth girl (gasping): Oh, shit! (spills her coffee)
Skinny punk chick: Did you burn yourself?
Chubby goth girl: No, but I bet my snatch smells like chocolate now.
Skinny punk chick: That's sexy.

Starbucks
Lakeport, California

To Re-Apply My Black Lipstick, Silly!

Goth/punk chick smoking a cigarette: Oh shit, you know what I forgot?
Goth/punk guy: That you're killing your unborn baby?

Huron & First
Ann Arbor, Michigan


Overheard by: Melanie


Categories: Death & dying | Default | Girls | Goths | Guys | Maladies | Michigan | Pregnancy | Punks | Questions | Smokers | Smoking | Posted 2008-12-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Pepperoni Phantom Soon Surpassed the Tooth Fairy in Popularity

Punk teen girl to friend: So I was like, "Woah, dude! Who are you? You're awesome!" Because none of us knew him, he just came over and set a pizza down in front of us!

Calgary, Alberta
Canadia


Overheard by: um...are you sure he wasn't the waiter?


Categories: Canadia | Compliments | Food | Friends | Girls | Punks | Questions | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jeffrey the Giraffe Went Chuck Norris on Us

Punk kid to friend arriving in mom's minivan: Dude, you missed it! We just got kicked out of Toys "R" Us! It was so awesome!

Outside Movie Theatre
Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Crimes | Georgia | Memory lane | Punks | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-08-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Well, Why Didn't You Say So In The First Place

Girl on cell in busy hallway: Will you assholes shut up?! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend here!
Punk: When you get done breaking up with him, can I fuck you?
Girl on cell: No!
Punk: Not even anal?

Macomb Community College
Warren, Michigan


Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Michigan | Punks | Questions | Posted 2008-02-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Most Fun I've Ever Had

Punk rocker: I was in the paper for being a hero, but I wasn't really. I just shoved some kid's intestines back inside him and covered it with duct tape and drove him at a hundred and forty-five miles per hour to the hospital.

Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/


Categories: Bragging | Overheard at Cornell | Punks | Posted 2007-12-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From the Trailer for Revenge of the Dairy Fairy

Punk walking down dairy aisle: Dude, don't say that here...
Friend: What? Am I gonna offend the cheese?

Safeway
Winnipeg
Canadia


Overheard by: Roosebeck


Categories: Canadia | Food | Punks | Posted 2007-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

For the Last Time, That Was a Playground.

Blue-haired guy: Man, those guys over at the methadone clinic are a bunch of snitches!

Seattle, Washington


Categories: Gripes | Punks | Washington | Posted 2007-10-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sex, Death...

Punk chick #1: Well, it's just... I'm confused...
Punk chick #2: It's okay, it's summer! There are a lot of confusing things in the air, like love... and pollen.

Maryland


Categories: Maryland | Punks | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or "Why Didn't You Abandon Us Years Ago?"

Punk: Why don't they have a Father's Day card that says, 'Dad, you suck. Happy Father's Day'?

Greensboro, North Carolina


Categories: Holidays | North Carolina | Punks | Posted 2007-09-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Also, Same Question for "Penis"

Skater punk: Wait -- uterus like the planet, or in your body?

San Francisco, California


Categories: Punks | San Francisco | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2007-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ask Your Doctor about Cialis

13-year-old punk girl: I've seen you somewhere before.
Punk guy: Probably. I sell drugs.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania


Categories: Drugs | Pennsylvania | Punks | Posted 2007-04-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook