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Do I Need to Draw Those Diagrams for You Again?

Preppy cutie, about steroided-up jock: Oh my god! He just winked at me!
Sarcastic friend: You sure it's not a twitch?
Preppie cutie: Your mom has a twitch! That's how she had you!
(friends stare)
Friend
: What?!


El Paso, Texas

Overheard by:


Categories: Body parts | Preppies | Questions | Sexuality | Texas | Words | Posted 2011-08-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

NewsFlash: Tim Burton Slated to Direct Next Bring It On! Movie

Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put "eat it" by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah... But you can eat cheerleaders.

High School
Kansas


Categories: Girls | Insults | Kansas | Preppies | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2010-11-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Best. Preschool Teacher. Ever.

Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.

Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: timmmm


Categories: Massachusetts | On the phone | Preppies | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2010-10-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Straight Guys Totally Understand Why Girls Like Girls

Short skinny emo girl: I'm half gay.
Preppy dude walking by: There is so much to say there, so much to say.

Natick, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Un-gay friend.


Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Preppies | Sexuality | Skinny people | Posted 2010-08-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...For Knowing What Guys Like

Preppy girl #1: So, Emily's a total slut.
Preppy girl #2: I know, right?
Preppy guy: Wait, what's she like?
Preppy girl #1: Umm, like, a d.
Preppy girl #2: No, no, no: double d.
Preppy guy: I was talking about her personality, but thanks...

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Gossip | Insults | New York | Preppies | Posted 2010-06-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Now That I Can Suck My Own Nipples.

Preppy tween girl #1: So you're grounded?
Preppy tween girl #2: Worse. My mom threw away my pacifiers.

Madison, Wisconsin


Categories: Parenting | Preppies | Tweens | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2010-04-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Would You Like to Go Out With Us This Friday?

Freshman boy trying to flirt with girl: I'm from Boston and he's from Boston and he's Chinese and he likes Bruce Lee, naked, naked, naked. (pokes Chinese friend)

University Library
Binghamton, New York


Overheard by: Brianna


Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | New York | Preppies | Sexuality | Posted 2010-03-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm Just Saying Never Aim Your Junk at a Cat

High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.

Santa Ana, California


Categories: Animals | California | Preppies | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wanna See My Needlpoint Thong?

High school freshman, examining friend's boot in hallway: These are like hooker boots, except crochet.

High School
Pennsylvania


Overheard by: One fine piece of needlework

That's Your Answer to Everything!

Preppy girl #1: You know you can't have sex for like, six moths after you have an abortion?
Preppy girl #2: That's stupid! Why wouldn't you just fall down some stairs?

Classroom
Ontario
Canadia


Categories: Abortion | Canadia | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sex | Stupidity | Posted 2010-02-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The "Hugs, Not Drugs" Campaign Has Had Mixed Results

Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Um, It's Not Messy-- It's Calligraphy.

Preppy white boy: You're both women, and you're Asian! How can you have messy handwriting??
Professor: Wait, did I really just hear that?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: The non-asian woman

Well, It Was Just Rain.

Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face...
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?

San Luis Obispo, California

Hey, Even Hoboes Have Bad Days

Preppy guy on cell: Really? He didn't spit on me when I fed him the other day.

Cal Poly Pomona
Pomona, California


Overheard by: sorry, my llama is unpredictable


Categories: California | Food | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Preppies | Posted 2009-09-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why I Could Never Teach Middle School

13-year-old preppy white girl: It be sneakah time, ya'll!

Deptford Mall
Deptford, New Jersey


Categories: Kids | Language barrier | Malls | New Jersey | Preppies | Stupidity | Teens | Whiteys | Posted 2009-08-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So We Didn't Do the Hanksta-Panksta

Preppy Hispanic girl: He thinks he's so gangsta-gangsta, but he's not. He's a wangsta-wangsta.

Nashville, Tennessee


Categories: Compare and contrast | Latinas | Preppies | Stupidity | Tennessee | Posted 2009-06-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

No Wonder King Cole Isn't a Merry Old Soul Anymore

Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: burrhead.

But at Least I'm Passing His Biology Class This Time

Preppy girl on cell: Yeah. He just got out of jail and he's hitting on me again.

Salem Community High School
Salem, Illinois


Overheard by: LiLlistna

...In Unrelated News

Preppy guy #1: "Pangaea," like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas


Overheard by: Rev Loon


Categories: Beauty | Default | Family ties | Geography | Guys | Preppies | Questions | Stores | Texas | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But I Can't Afford the Membership Fee

Preppy chick: I didn't see you in class today. Where were you?
Guy: I was having sex in the bathroom.
Preppy chick: Oh, I want to try that.

Florida


Categories: Default | Girls | Guys | Preppies | Questions | Sex | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ashley Olsen Dating Lance Armstrong Was the Final Nail in the Coffin

Preppy girl #1: So the Apocalypse is totally going to happen... It's scary.
Preppy girl #2: Yeah, I know, right?

High School Hall
Ontario
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Default | Fears | Girls | Preppies | Religion | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Threats | Posted 2008-09-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The EMTs Can Just Pull Him Out From Under It

Preppy Asian chick on cell: I don't care if he's dying. I'm not going to move my car from a parking spot.

University of Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica

His Hair Desperately Needed Product

Really preppy girl to preppy friends: Like, Jesus had problems too!

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Ananda


Categories: Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Jesus | New York | Preppies | Posted 2008-09-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She Just Goes There to Have Sex in the Steam Room.

Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, "Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it."

Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

And We're Almost Out of Birdseed

Preppy chick to friend: ...and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it's easy to make.

Ohio State University

Overheard by: GameBoy Kid


Categories: Animals | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Food | Preppies | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which Is Why My Boyfriend's Here at the Doctor's

Guy: Do you spit or swallow?
Preppy girl: I don't know. I just chew.

Florida


Categories: BJs | Default | Florida | Girls | Guys | Preppies | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2008-07-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Lacoste Was So 1998

Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don't mix your reds and your whites!

Boulder, Colorado


Categories: Advice | Bag ladies | Clothes | Colorado | Default | Kids | Preppies | Women | Posted 2008-06-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It Is Important to Air Things Out

Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]
Preppy girl
: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and --you just take off your bottoms and --no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms--.

[Friends erupt in laughter.]
Preppy girl
: I just mean --I just like not wearing pants...


High School
San Diego, California

Terry McAuliffe: Shhhhhh!

Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there's more than one?

JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia


Overheard by: baffled


Categories: Girls | Idiots | On the phone | Politics | Preppies | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Virginia | Posted 2008-05-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The National Association of Farmers Convention Can Get Rowdy

Preppie guy: ... And I said, "That's why I trade corn futures!" [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]

Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC


Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: Bragging | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Preppies | Restaurants | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-05-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Kendra Wilkinson's Major Life Accomplishment

Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I've had pubic hair is three days.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: kt

Doesn't Seem Like Much of a Stretch for Either of Us

Preppy guy: You're such a bitch, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Thanks?
Preppy guy: No, in a good way.
Alexandra: How can you be a bitch in a good way?
Preppy guy: You're the kind of bitch that makes me wish I was gay so we could sit at an outside cafe and make fun of people's outfits when they walk by.

Starbucks, Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: i want to, too!


Categories: Default | Girls | Guys | Insults | Massachusetts | Preppies | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-03-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Both Right!

Preppy girl #1: Wow, now we all have the same necklace! We should all wear them the next time we go out!
Preppy girl #2: Yeah! We'd be like the Power Rangers or something!
Preppy girl #3: Or we'd be like douchebags.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC


Overheard by: office peon does d.c.


Categories: Comebacks | Default | Fashion | Girls | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | Stores | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hypothetically. If I Had Done It. Which I Didn't.

Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, 'Did you hook up with a homeless guy?' and I was all like, 'No, of course not! Never say that again!'
Best friend, laughing hard: I can't believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It's not a big deal.

Haight Street
San Francisco, California


Categories: California | Chicks | Friends | Preppies | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-02-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... In Utah

Preppy girl: Oh my god, I have, like, two wives. I think I have a husband... I used to have a boyfriend and two wives.
Guy: That seems to happen to a lot of people...

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shiny


Categories: Massachusetts | Preppies | Relationships | Posted 2008-01-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That, and the Shrapnel

Preppy girl #1: Yeah, so he's going to be in Iraq until early December, and then he gets to be here until early January, and then he starts his second tour.
Preppy girl #2: That's awesome.
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, except that he's dating my best friend.

Judiciary Square Metro Station
Washington, DC


Overheard by: V


Categories: Gossip | Preppies | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-12-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's a Subtle Wine/Beer Distinction

Preppy girl: Wait, Irish people are from Ireland? I always thought they were from Italy!

Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire


Overheard by: Lily F.


Categories: New Hampshire | Preppies | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Pink Bow Might Be Pretty

Preppy teen girl #1: Well, do you like her?
Preppy teen girl #2: I mean, yeah, I like her... But she has got to do something about her mustache!

Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: Sam


Categories: Hair | Preppies | Virginia | Posted 2007-09-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Same Thing

Preppy guy on cell: So, you're pissed. I guess 'cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand -- 'cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, 'Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend' to her? ... Look, babe, I love you, but I'm 19 and I'm human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!

Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Drew


Categories: Drunks | Infidelity | Massachusetts | Preppies | Posted 2007-09-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hobo: Directions? That'll Be One Blow Job

Preppy girl: Can we have our cell phones on for the field trip?
Teacher: No.
Preppy girl: But what if we get separated from the group? How will we find our way back?
Female peer: Ask a friendly hobo.

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee


Categories: Advice | Preppies | Tennessee | Posted 2007-09-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Since It Squirted Me

Preppy girl: I want a t-shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina -- I totally deserve one!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?


Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Preppies | Vagina | Posted 2007-08-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Says She's Saving All That for Marriage

Preppy chick: I've never seen her pee in a bush or even fart or anything. It's like I only know her on one level, you know?

Harvard Station
Boston, Massachusetts


Categories: Massachusetts | Philosophy | Preppies | Posted 2007-07-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... And That's How I Landed My First Bellhop

Loud preppy undergrad: So I said to him, 'Either you sleep with me or you clean the sheets.'

Alexander's Restaurant
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Health & Hygiene | Preppies | Restaurants | Posted 2007-04-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Genetic Engineering Has a Long Way to Go

Preppy freshman chick leaving dining hall: So, life decision for today: I want to become a Gummi Bear!

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia


Overheard by: Anna Deaton


Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Philosophy | Preppies | Students | Virginia | Posted 2007-03-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook