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Where You Will Be Directed to a Photo of Me Flipping the Bird

Pilot: And if you have any comments or questions, go ahead and look me up on Facebook.

Vancouver
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Default | Internet | Offers and requests | Pilots | Posted 2008-07-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible

Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?

It's Not Technically a Violation of the Restraining Order If She Boards the Plane

Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of '68? [silence] I always ask. I'm hoping at some point I'll find my old girlfriend.

JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Ladle

And Stop Masturbating in the Shower -- You're Clogging the Drain.

Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I'm going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.

Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California

It's Funny 'til Somebody Loses an Aircraft

Pilot to passengers: If you kids don't calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and I will take you back to Mexico!

1999 flight from Cancun to San Francisco, California

Overheard by: the end of senior trip


Categories: California | Default | Geography | Pilots | Threats | Posted 2008-03-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now Everyone Fasten Their Duct Tape -- We're about to Take Off

Pilot: There is no smoking on this aircraft. The penalty for smoking is two thousand dollars. If you had that kind of money, you'd probably be flying United.

Southwest Airlines flight

Overheard by: broke


Categories: Airports & flights | Pilots | Threats | Posted 2008-01-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Forgive Us If We Find Your Relief Unnerving

Pilot over intercom, as plane touches down: ... And the crowd goes wild! Woo-hoo!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: errica


Categories: Bragging | Nevada | Pilots | Posted 2007-12-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mommy, Why Is the Plane Rearing Up Like That?

Pilot over loudspeaker, while landing plane: Whoa there, big fella!

Delta Airlines flight


Categories: Airports & flights | Pilots | Words | Posted 2007-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wait, Wait -- I'm Taking Notes!

Pilot: Sorry for the delay -- we are waiting for the cleaning team. Someone had a problem in the washrooms.
Flight attendant: I'd like to remind everyone that you should poop in the toilet -- not outside of the hole but in the hole. Thank you for your collaboration.

Flight near takeoff
Miami, Florida


Overheard by: Julien


Categories: Advice | Flight attendants | Florida | Pilots | Poop | Posted 2007-10-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Be Ready to Fly the Plane in a Pinch

Pilot: Sit back and relax! We'll be in Indy in about an hour and 55 minutes. [Mic clicks off, then back on.] Uh... We'll be in Boston. You know where you're going.

US Airways flight
Indianapolis to Boston


Overheard by: Anna Mousey


Categories: Pilots | Plane | Stupidity | Posted 2007-07-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which They'll Provide in Both the Front and the Tail

Pilot: We'll be flying with our team of flight attendants today, and of course we'll be looking forward to the great service they provide... [Awkward laugh] The great service they provide to you, of course.

American Airlines flight

Overheard by: not that kind of service


Categories: Airports & flights | Jobs & Careers | Pilots | Posted 2007-06-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

To Confuse Any Terrorists Who May Be Flying with Us Today

Captain: Welcome to JetBlue! I am your captain, Greg, and sitting next to me is your co-captain... also Greg.

Flight to Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Chelsea


Categories: Names | Pilots | Plane | Posted 2007-05-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook