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...Look What Happened to Me!
Pregnant mother to son: Stop throwing daddy's meat around!
Outback Steakhouse
Parsippany, New Jersey
Categories: Family | Food | New Jersey | Parenting | Penis | Preggers | Restaurants | Posted 2010-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Babies Love LSD Orgies, Right?
Guy to hugely pregnant woman: There's a party Saturday--you should come after you give birth.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: pie
Categories: Guys | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Preggers | Pregnancy | Posted 2010-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I Sniff It and I'm Like, "Ooo, Beer!"
Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, "yeah, right!"
Target
York, Pennsylvania
...With a Bastard Vampire Baby
Mom to daughter in Team Edward t-shirt: If you were taking your pill in the first place, you wouldn't be pregnant right now.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: let me kick her in the stomach
Categories: Moms | New Hampshire | Parenting | Preggers | Pregnancy | Posted 2010-02-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted to Lumps
Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I'm pregnant. Knowing that I'm growing this life...
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.
Starbucks
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The guy applauding her
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Happiness | Kids | Preggers | Pregnancy | Pride | Washington | Posted 2010-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Hoping for a Muppet Baby
Middle aged female client: You aren't going to find out the sex? How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose. People aren't going to be wondering if it's a girl or a boy, anyway; they're going to wonder if it's an animal or a baby.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: jenc17
...Whatever Your Name Is.
Very pregnant woman: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you've ever looked.
Hasting's
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: mikeface
Categories: Beauty | Birthing | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Guys | Preggers | Texas | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thank God Babies Come Housebroken.
20-something pregnant girl to baby daddy: I don't think we can handle a pet.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: babies are way easier.
I Hate to Ask Their Names, Though
Girl #1: Girl, I am pregnant.
Girl #2: Do you know who the daddy is?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Girl, my doctor told me that when I sleep with a man, to write it on the calendar, so if I get pregnant they can try to find the daddy!
Elevator, Columbus State Community College
Columbus, Ohio
The Training Begins in the Womb
Drunk guy: Excuse me assholes, pregnant woman coming through.
Drunk pregnant wife: I fell down the stairs yesterday, my baby is like one of the warriors from 300.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: MN
She Sent Me So I Could Learn to Drink
Pregnant teen waiting in lunch line: Yeah, I'm having the shower at my grandma's. My mom said she did not send me to that fancy Catholic school just so I could get knocked up.
Publis High School
Cincinnati, Ohio
Categories: Default | Education | Family ties | Ohio | Preggers | Religion | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Posted 2008-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's My Prerogative
Young pregnant mother, gratefully accepting seat on crowded tram: Come over here and sit with mummy, Adam.
Four-year-old: Noooooooooo.
Mother: C'mon, Adam, come sit with mummy.
Four-year-old: Noooooooo (but slinks over and sits down anyway)
Mother: Better?
Four-year-old: You've ruined my life, mom.
Mother: Yes, honey, I know.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Soap Oprah
Categories: Australia | Default | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Preggers | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2008-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
Roger Often Wonders If He Made the Right Choice Going Straight
Preggers snapping at hubby: He said they don't have it! That means they don't have it!
Husband, pushing cart with two-year-old in seat: Get over yourself, babe. We'll be in the car.
Two-year-old: Mama!
Husband, under his breath: Your mom better hurry up and have that kid, dude.
Fred Meyer
Issaquah, Washington
Overheard by: Bryan
Is That a Prerequisite Now?
Girl: Are you getting married?
Preggers: Don't know -- maybe... If we get along okay.
Bar
New York
Categories: New York | Preggers | Relationships | Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or an Abortion
Pregnant black lady on cell buying 24-pack of beer at self-checkout: Girl, next time I have me a baby daddy I'ma get me a credit report!
Southfield, Michigan
You're Not Still Pregnant?
Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you must be having a boy!
Very preggers: Uh, no... It's actually a girl.
Enthusiastic lady: Really? Because your face has changed!
Very preggers: What do you mean?
Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you know, it just looks bad. I was ugly, too, when I was pregnant with my son.
Clinic waiting room
San Francisco, California
Categories: Insults | Preggers | San Francisco | Strangers | Posted 2007-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Motorboating Purist
Preggers: My baby's gettin' the bottle. Ain't no baby suckin' on these titties -- that ain't what they're for...
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Um, that IS what they're for
Categories: New Jersey | Preggers | Rack | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Who's Due in June
Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, 'cause after that it's bad for the baby.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Preggers | Pregnancy | Smoking | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Can Hold It Over the Kid for Life
Pregnant, tattooed hipster: This is killing me. How can I go without ink for nine months?
Tattooed hipster friend: Oh, I know.
Nevada
