Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Parents All Categories > People > Parents
Recent | Best Of
Ad: This Message Brought to You by the Society for the Prevention Of Children
Father, dragging boy for being naughty: I have had enough of this! You're a horrible child!
Son: But I won't do it again, I promise! (cries hysterically)
Father: Yes, you said that 13 times ago, but you still do it! You're a horrible boy, so we're going to disown you.
Son: Nooooo!
Father: Shut up.
Telford
England
Overheard by: nicmunn
A Corvette?
Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
And What Language Are They Speaking?
Seven-year-old boy, stepping off train, to parents: We're in the middle of nowhere!
Train Platform
Maplewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: KBN
Who Is He to Say I Can't Be a Lesbian?
Three-year-old to parents: Jesus is mean.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps
Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!
Fira
Santorini
Greece
Gay Babies May Fail to Grasp the Point
Mom with eight-month-old to other parents with small child: Yeah, I've already told his dad he's going to have to give him some sort of remedial breast lessons when he's older...he's bad with the boobies.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Raina
Show the Driver Your Sippy Cup, Boy
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Categories: Bus drivers | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Education | Guys | Kids | Parenting | Parents | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Did We Meet? Funny Story, Actually...
Guy on cell: My mom's husband is my dad's wife's ex-husband. Now you know why I live in Seattle--as far away as I can get on the continental US.
Bank of America
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Thinking holidays must be rough
Categories: Default | Family ties | Geography | Guys | On the phone | Parents | Relationships | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Great Solution to All This Would Be to Have One or Two More Kids
Dad, screaming at four kids: Get back here, you little bastards! If you don't behave, I'll make you sleep in the hotel bathroom when we get there! [10-year-old drops his ticket, and it starts blowing away.] Jimmy! What the hell?! How could you do something so fucking stupid?! Well, what are you standing there for? Run and get it!
Mom, screaming at dad: Why don't you relax?! He dropped his ticket -- so what, you son of a bitch?! We'll make it there and then you will relax! Your stress issues are really driving me crazy!
Lady behind them in line, to her own husband: I love you, honey.
Airport
Virginia
But Isn't It a Little Soon to Start Competing with Her?
Overtired mom, after seeing infant fail to grasp something: See? Their reflexes suck. That's why babies don't drive cars.
Stunned husband: Uh, that and they can't see over the steering wheel.
Wellsboro, Pennsylvania
Categories: Gripes | Parents | Pennsylvania | Stupidity | Posted 2007-11-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Too Embarrassed to Lick It
Mother: It's so hot out! My ice cream is splooging.
Father: Yeah, my ice cream just splooged all over my hand.
Teen daughter: Hahahaha.
Mother: Why are you laugh-- Oh.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: melissa
We Believe That's "Poofed"
Little girl looking at display of puffed wheat snacks: What's the difference between puffed and fried?
Mom: Puffed is better for you, so you can eat more of them.
Little girl: But I don't like puffed.
Dad: Puffed is gay.
Crossroads Market
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Worth a Shot
Mom: I'll have a diet Coke.
Dad: I'll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I'll have a Bailey's coffee.
Waitress: Um... Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I'll just have coffee, then.
Cheesecake Factory
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: around the corner
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Glad the condom broke | Parents | Servers | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think That's a Generous Word for It
Child runs out into busy parking lot.
Mom: Careful! There are old people driving!
Overheard by: Eric Smith
God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Airports & flights | Dads | Illinois | Maladies | North America | Parenting | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Too Young for Croquet
Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Mansfield, Texas
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Dads | Family ties | Fashion | Movies | North America | Parenting | Parents | Pop culture | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did You Buy the Catastrophic Event Warranty?
Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn't work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Cell phones | Gadgets | Moms | Parents | Technology | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement
Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Philip
Categories: Jews | Michigan | Moms | North America | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood
Categories: California | Clothing | Fashion | Kids | Moms | North America | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
