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Bella Has Yet to Date Anyone Who Meets Her Father's Approval
Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter...
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Character | Guys | New Jersey | On the phone | Parenting | Relationships | Posted 2011-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Be Fair, Dina Lohan Created Lindsay.
Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back... I was busy having sex.
Melbourne
Australia
Categories: Australia | Character | Family ties | Girls | On the phone | Sex | Posted 2011-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bipolar Women Can Be Highly Entertaining Life Partners
Girl on phone: All right, bye. I love you sometimes.
Durham, North Carolina
Categories: Character | Compliments | Girls | North Carolina | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was Pointing to My Birthday Cake!
Crying girl on cell: He said "I would fuck," and I just don't know what that means in that context!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
...Okay, Love You Too. Bye, Mom.
Loud woman on phone: Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? (pause) You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid... (keeps repeating it)
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Google Exists.
Fashionable girl on cell: Do you think you can catch pink eye from getting poop in your eye?
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Illinois | On the phone | Poop | Questions | Posted 2011-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"A" As in "Adolph," "F" As in "Final Solution"...
Indian lady on crowed bus on cell: Yes. 'h' as in 'Hitler.'
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Not Me
Categories: About celebrities | Kentucky | On the phone | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2011-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Without Me.
Girl on phone: I was like, "you're already drunk. You're using the death of Osama Bin Laden to get drunk at 10 in the morning."
University of Denver, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Colorado | Death & dying | Drinking & drunks | Girls | On the phone | Posted 2011-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Were His Teeth In or Out?
Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Family ties | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh, Suze Orman's Just a Little Quirky.
Middle-aged suit on cell: Yeah... Well, I don't know. (pause) Doesn't she have Alzheimer's? (pause) I don't care if she's your mother. (pause) Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't be trading your stocks, then.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: mo
Categories: Family ties | Maladies | New York | On the phone | Questions | Suits | Posted 2011-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time, Do It in Your Coy, Playful Way!
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then the Wii Had to Come Along and Confuse Everything
Woman on phone: Yeah, well, as you get older, it's less manual labor and more electronics!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: am I taking this the wrong way?
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Technology | Women | Posted 2011-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even If You Do Look Adorable in Communist Colors
Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff...
University of Central Florida
Overheard by: Michelle
Why I Stoped Watching Kirstie Alley's Reality Show
Woman on phone: Girl, I just ate a fat-ass quesadilla, and now I feel fat as fuck.
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Diet & weight | Feelings | Food | On the phone | Women | Posted 2011-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay Cruising Slang Gets More Cryptic by the Minute.
Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Coral
I Hate My Children
40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Jpov
I'm All, "Cholesterol Be Damned!"
Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.
Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
And I'm Allergic to Flannel.
Anime-loving teenager on cell: So it's like I'm a lesbian in a man's body. Except I like boys.
CTrain
Calgary
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Gender issues | On the phone | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2011-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: 2 Fast 2 Delicious
Girl on cell: Not only did she steal my car, she ate the fucking cupcakes!
Southern Connecticut State University
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Posted 2011-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The FDA Says I Have To
20-something hot girl on cell: I was going to sleep with you, until you said "is this a good idea?"
New Jersey
Overheard by: kiera
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seems to Be a Common Theme
Guy on phone: So what are we doing after bible study? Beers? Ladies?
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Tiffany
Categories: Arizona | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | On the phone | Religion | Sex | Posted 2011-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From My Big Book Of Things to Say Before Bursting Into Tears
Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache...
Colorado State University
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Character | Colorado | Gender issues | On the phone | Posted 2011-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Advertised As Used Bicycles
Cab driver, ending phone call: That's why you never marry a chick that'll swallow for an extra $20. Can't believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | BJs | Massachusetts | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2011-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Gay Man Has Ever Seen RoboCop
Middle aged gay man on cell: Mother, stop making excuses. You chose to live in a government hellhole named Canada. You could have gone somewhere like Detroit, but nooooo...
Starbucks
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Family ties | Gays | Geography | On the phone | Pity | Posted 2011-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When One Partner Wants to Have "The Talk," It Just Fucking Happens
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing's wrong, I'm just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing's wrong. We don't need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Food | Illinois | On the phone | Public transportation | Relationships | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Liked This Quote So Much, We Were All, "We Like This Quote So Much!"
Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, "there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!"
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Animals | Australia | On the phone | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And We'll Write It Off As a Business Expense.
Loud 40-something suit on cell: Yeah, let's sit around smoking ganja on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and you can teach me Swahili.
Giant Eagle Grocery
Medina, Ohio
Categories: Druggies | Offers and requests | Ohio | On the phone | Smoking | Posted 2011-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Female Blacknerds Can Afford to Be Picky in Choosing a Mate
Hot, black female nerd on phone: No, I don't need you to explain to me why Batman can't be Asian. That's a conversation we only need to have once.
Connecticut
Overheard by: Bruce Lee Wayne
Categories: About celebrities | Black people | Connecticut | On the phone | Race | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do People Keep Marrying Danny Bonaduce?
Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tom
Categories: Animals | Guys | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Mean You're Bringing Potato Salad Instead?
African-American man on phone: Well, now, you just bring your hair... and you be on your way.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: serial forgetter of hair
Categories: Black people | Hair | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Quote Is Better Birth Control Than a Condom
Scruffy ponytail dude on cell: Is the dog oozing or pulsing? Tell your brother to stop squeezing the guinea pig, I can hear it squealing! (pause) Yes I can! Yes I can, Ruth*! (pause) Oh, sorry, I guess grandma sneezing does sound like the guinea pig... Just wrap the dog in a towel and I'll be home in an hour.
Tampa, Florida
Categories: Animals | Florida | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Blame Our Science Teacher for Your Potassium Fetish
Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Categories: Body parts | Food | Girls | On the phone | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Just Post Your Photo in the Breakroom and Throw Tomatoes at It.
Fundraiser on phone: So what made it a cult? (pause) No, we don't record this information.
Reed College
Portland, Oregon
Categories: On the phone | Oregon | Questions | Religion | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Nine Months from Now, When I Give Birth to a Child I'll Name "Brie"
Girl on cell: I was about to go home, so I told Bob* to get the cheese because I'd brought it over so George* coud make a cheesy bagel, right? So Bob* brings me the cheese but then he starts massaging my back, and I fall asleep with the cheese. I wake up like a half hour later and he's doing it to me, so I grab the cheese, say goodnight, and leave. And after that, whenever I saw someone eat a piece of that cheese I felt sooo weird. But now it's all eaten, the evidence is gone, and what that cheese witnessed will never be revealed.
Outside Westfield Mall
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Food | Girls | On the phone | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest PTA Meeting Ever.
Girl on cell in crowded elevator: Walking through the naked women was supposed to represent, like, going through the birth canal!
Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: painted_veil
Categories: Canadia | Cell phones | Fears | On the phone | Uterus | Posted 2010-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jose's My Drug Dealer
Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.
River North
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Illinois | Names | On the phone | Suits | Posted 2010-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Just Drew a Bunch Of Unicorns on the Test Paper and Handed It In
Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ginger
Categories: Education | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Stupidity | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Preschool Teacher. Ever.
Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Categories: Massachusetts | On the phone | Preppies | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Beaver + Ton = Beaverton
Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
Categories: Ass | Comebacks | Guys | On the phone | Oregon | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NASA's Committed to Mid-Century Chic
Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting...
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Caleb
Categories: Arizona | On the phone | Stupidity | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But at Least You're Cheating Well.
Busy-looking female suit on cell: Face it, Carol, you just didn't marry well.
Upstate New York
Categories: Advice | Family ties | New York | On the phone | Relationships | Suits | Posted 2010-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Plot Of Every Romantic Comedy, in a Nutshell.
Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins
Categories: Canadia | Hipsters | Offers and requests | On the phone | Relationships | Restaurants | Posted 2010-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Proud Of Myself
Woman on cell in line for bathroom: You did all that for a jelly bean!?
Airport
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Emily
The U.N. Delegates Have This Problem All the Time.
Smokin' hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn't talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it's really not.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The Sauce
Categories: New York | On the phone | Queers | Sex | Shopping | Posted 2010-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though, to Be Fair, the Bicycle Had No Bell.
Girl #1: My grandfather has won the Nobel Prize!
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, he has one of those trophies in his bookshelf!
Janitor, walking in: Are you sure it was the Nobel Prize?
Girl #1: Yes, I am! Don't you believe me? I'm gonna call him and ask! (proceeds to call, hangs up sounding disappointed)
Janitor: Well?
Girl #1: Oh, it was not the Nobel Prize. It was only from a bicycle race.
High School
Sweden
Overheard by: Malin
Categories: Bragging | Family ties | Old folks | On the phone | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Sweden | Teachers | Posted 2010-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of the Perils Of Being Raised on AIM
Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shifty
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | Names | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'll Happily Let You Ride Me in the Water
Man on cell in grocery store: As long as you don't call me "flipper," that's okay.
Gresham, Oregon
And My Analyst Will Hold You While I Do So
Man on cell: I've never shown hostility towards women, but if you ever call that transvestite my mother, I will beat you senseless.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Family ties | Gender issues | Georgia | Guys | On the phone | Parenting | Threats | Violence | Posted 2010-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why Ashley from Real Housewives Of New Jersey Has So Many Friends.
Prissy girl on phone: You have a stupid face. You have to be my friend.
Cardiff
Wales
Overheard by: Gordinho
Categories: Body parts | Comebacks | Girls | Insults | On the phone | Stupidity | UK | Posted 2010-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Lot Of Us Are Asking Ourselves This About Mel Gibson.
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Categories: Animals | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Georgia | Insults | On the phone | Women | Posted 2010-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Now I Need a Dust Bath
Paris Hilton lookalike waif on cell, wearing tight cargo Capris and giant white sunglasses: No, the steakhouse one... (pause) Yeah, when the vultures flew out of my pants!
Trailer Park behind PETCO
New Jersey
Overheard by: IDK if I want to understand this one
Categories: Birds | Clothing | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Chickenman?
Loud man on cell on bus: You know, I don't really care for turkey. Have it at Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas, and I am sick of that shit. Now me, I like chicken. That's my thing. I'm a chicken man.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Birds | Compare and contrast | Food | Guys | On the phone | Texas | Posted 2010-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With a Three-Valium Chaser?
Posh-sounding, punk-looking 20-year-old girl on cell: You want to kill yourself? Oh. Have you tried having a having cup of tea?
London
England
Overheard by: Richard
Have You Read The Protocols Of the Elders Of Annapolis?
Guy on phone: No I'll never join the navy. (pause) Because me joining the navy would be like Hitler joining the Jewish church!
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Kapti
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | History | Jobs & Careers | Michigan | On the phone | Religion | Posted 2010-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Haven't We All Been There?
Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: Food | Ohio | On the phone | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America: Encapsulated.
Slightly obese lady on cell: Of course I'm at the gym, honey! I promised to go to the gym today, so I'm at the gym! (hangs up, talks to friend) What an idiot. I want some ice cream.
Ice Cream Shop
Missouri
Overheard by: jeeves
Categories: Diet & weight | Fat people | Food | Friends | Insults | Lies | Missouri | On the phone | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2010-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Agree, at Least in Principle
20-something on cell: So I said to her, "I don't care if you are my stepsister: if you shaved it, I want to see it!"
San Francisco, California
Categories: Family ties | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | San Francisco | Shaving | Vagina | Posted 2010-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mrs. Clinton's a Superb Secretary Of State
Hobo in track suit, shouting into cell: Why? Because she has no goddamn boundaries!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Suggested I Test the Tracks by Sleeping on Them
Angry girl on cell: No, I seriously hate him. He wouldn't stop laughing at me the entire night, and I felt like an idiot. All I asked was whether real trains still run on train tracks. I mean, I just thought the tracks were antiques that got left behind or something... It's not a stupid question!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: kgirl42
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Tom Cruise Has It
White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Categories: Louisiana | On the phone | Religion | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Haven't You Seen America's Next Top Muslim?
Guy on cell: Or maybe Mohammad is just less photogenic than Jesus.
Hyde Park
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Anya
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Illinois | Jesus | On the phone | Religion | Posted 2010-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.
Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma
Categories: Bus | Guys | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | STDs | Undies | Washington | Posted 2010-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's Complicated About That?
Girl on cell: She feels Facebook ruined their relationship.
Bus
Malmö
Sweden
Categories: Bus | Girls | Internet | On the phone | Relationships | Sweden | Posted 2010-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Will Never Understand Southern Sexual Slang
Woman on cell: You know she's only talkin' to him cause he's got a tractor in the tractor pull.
Culpeper, Virginia
Categories: On the phone | Relationships | Virginia | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...How's Your Relationship with Your Grandma?
Girl on cell: So, like, I refused her. I told her I'm not friends with whores.
Salisbury, Maryland
Categories: Girls | Insults | Maryland | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
SpongeBob? Absolutely.
Ghetto girl on phone, angrily: Yeah, well, I bet he's just lollygagging somewhere with his grandma!
22 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Time Management | Posted 2010-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Always Give Your Pets Such Unique Names!
Teen girl on cell: Yes, well, there's excitement, plateau, orgasm... and I forget the last one.
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | On the phone | Orgasm | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teens | Posted 2010-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
British Cooking: Further Explained
30-something woman on phone: So I pulled it out of my vagina, and that was that. Shame.
Hull
England
Categories: On the phone | UK | Vagina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Don't Know Degradation 'til You Go Into Retail
Scruffy hipster dude on cell: I'm tired of selling sex. I just want to sell jeans... Or something along those lines.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Clothes | Hipsters | On the phone | Sex | Washington | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worst. Feel-Good Movie. Ever.
Teenage girl on cell, with happy look on face: And I kept at it until it was the artichoke it was always meant to be!
Del Mar Fairgrounds
San Diego County, California
Categories: California | Food | On the phone | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2010-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Best. Reality Competition. Ever.
19-year-old girl on phone in dorm: I have two weeks to have children. I only have one egg left!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | On the phone | Pregnancy | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2010-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Prevented You?
Girl on phone: I got two pairs of pants, a shirt, and I almost bought a beaver.
Boone, North Carolina
Categories: Animals | Clothes | Girls | North Carolina | On the phone | Shopping | Posted 2010-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...As Is Jewish Custom.
20-something girl on cell: She washed all the fruit before putting it into the bowl. (pause) We're gonna need a medium-sized male stripper to go along with it, also.
NJ Transit
New Jersey
Categories: Fruit | New Jersey | On the phone | Sexuality | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't You Just Tether It to Your Wheelchair?
Suave dude on cell: Shut up, grandma! Your fridge isn't that heavy!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: at least I'm nice to my grandma
Categories: Family ties | Jerks | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Taste-Testing Jawbreakers Is a Lot More Difficult Than My Old Job Of Sucking Cock
Man on cell: Well, yeah, I think it was worth it, considering how much money I made... (pause) Well, my mouth really hurts, and I think I need some antibiotics.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i swear this is not made up
Categories: California | Health & Hygiene | Jobs & Careers | Mouth | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Chillin' in Central Park
Man on cell: Did I say Boston? I'm sorry, I was just in Boston, that's why I said that. Atlanta, I'm in Atlanta right now.
Beacon Hill Starbucks
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Lies | Massachusetts | On the phone | Restaurants | US Geography | Posted 2010-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, I've Heard That Promise Before
Sobbing man with black eye, on cell: I love you so much, baby. I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you're gonna shit. (continues weeping)
Coloradp Springs, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Feelings | On the phone | Poop | Posted 2010-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.
Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.
Chico, California
Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx
Categories: California | Foreigners | On the phone | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2010-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That's not gay. (pause) It's not gay when "turning out the lights" means putting your hands over my eyes while we're test-driving a car that's worth more than your sister's gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Fears | Guys | Money | On the phone | Vagina | Virginia | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know I'm Flakey, But I Was Just Itching to Shop.
Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah... In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.
Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: OMG She had VD
Categories: Foreigners | Language barrier | On the phone | STDs | Stores | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Seen One That Could Crack a Walnut Before?
Guy on cell: Look, I'm just saying. If he wants to play hardball, I'm totally prepared to show him just how hard my balls are.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Balls | Guys | On the phone | Overheard at York | Threats | Words | Posted 2010-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, in That Moment, I Fell a Little Bit More in Love with Him
Big black lady on cell, while eating: No, girl, you don't even know! He actually said, "do you have a beer in your pocket? Cuz I'd really like to get in yo' pants!"
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: cherryindallas
Categories: Black people | Etiquette | Fat people | On the phone | Questions | Sex | Texas | Posted 2010-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Had This Roommate...
Scruffy 20-something guy on cell: I don't care what you do, just leave my fucking rats alone!
Eureka, California
Overheard by: Barry Evans
Categories: Animals | California | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Insults | On the phone | Posted 2010-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest Episode Of Sesame Street *Ever*
30-something black man on cell: I don't know if I'll finish in time, but I think I can still make it work.
20-something black guy walking past: It's "ain't". As in "I ain't gonna get this shit done, so fuck all y'all!" Damn! You talkin' like a fool, brotha. (shakes head)
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Education | Georgia | On the phone | Race | Words | Posted 2010-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.
Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothes | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Texas | US Geography | Women | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Your Electricity Bill, Erica.
Woman on cell: So what should I do? Tap dance all over it?
Skipton
England
Overheard by: Fredwina
Categories: Dancing | England | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2010-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Like They Taught Us at Harvard Business School
Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Jobs & Careers | Money | On the phone | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Casting Agents Get More Like Pimps Every Day
Girl on cell: Look, fine, then if you don't want Lucy Liu I'll hook you up with her sister. Then you can have two for one!
Film Class
Queen's University
Canadia
Overheard by: Umm can I get in on that?
Categories: About celebrities | Canadia | Class | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Offers and requests | On the phone | Posted 2010-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thank Goodness I Got the Rollover Slut Plan
College girl on cell: So, it's all good? Cause I'm just re-using the same guys over and over! My number doesn't go up!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just eating my pizza
Categories: Bimbettes | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Posted 2010-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Finally, a Version Of "You're Having My Baby" Your Editors Like
Nasty smoking girl on cell: So did your girlfriend cry when she found out that I'm having your baby? (pause) Haha, that is so funny, I so thought she would!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: hayley
Categories: Australia | Infidelity | On the phone | Pregnancy | Posted 2010-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With the Red Carpet
Teenage girl on cell: I'm not saying that I want to be famous, I know not everyone can be famous, I'm just saying that's the one thing I've always, like, aspired to, just a beautiful connection.
Huddersfield
England
Categories: England | On the phone | Stupidity | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2010-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: I'm Afraid You'd Kill Me
50-something guy on cell: Yeah, so honestly I don't think this will work out... I think your sexuality is a little... young for me.
Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: dates older guys
Categories: Age and ageing | Bars & Clubs | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Sexuality | Posted 2010-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Nerds Have Sex Dreams
Guy on cell: My rocket scientist shows up, she's drunk! But she's capable.
Cafe
Champaign, Illinois
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Illinois | On the phone | Posted 2010-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's 2:58 -- Give Him a Little Credit.
Girl on cell in empty hall: So how long do you want to have sex with your boyfriend? Until, like 3:00?
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Infidelity | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sex | Time Management | Posted 2010-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Old Is the New Dead
Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?
International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Age and ageing | Airports & flights | Death & dying | Guys | Kentucky | On the phone | Posted 2010-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja
Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Georgia | On the phone | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2010-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ad: He's Back, and This Time It's Very Personal
Girl on phone: When you get to the game room, don't sit next to Jesus, he's watching porn.
Georgetown, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate
Categories: Delaware | Girls | Jesus | On the phone | Porn | Posted 2010-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Your Parole Officer, Sir.
Man on cell: I'll see you then. You have a sexy voice... It's nice!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: ktjane
Categories: Compliments | Guys | On the phone | Oregon | Sexuality | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Did I Say When You Asked That About Carrots?
Girl on cell: Are avocados vegetarian?
Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
Canadia
I Just Want to Graduate, I Don't Want to Know Anything
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, "I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!"
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Tonight's Movie: Drunkventures in Babysitting
Young mother on phone: Well, tell him if he's going to stay home and get drunk by himself then he can babysit for me.
Wisconsin
Overheard by: smirkburglar
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | On the phone | Parenting | Wisconsin | Posted 2010-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Care If You Are My Grandma.
Man on cell: What? You calling me fat pussy? I will punch you in the face!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Body parts | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Threats | Posted 2010-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...If She Tries to Get Out Of Going to Preschool Again.
Guy on cell, very angrily: Fuck you! (then suddenly calm) Well, that's what I was thinking of saying to her...
Brighton
England
Categories: England | Grumpies | Guys | Insults | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2010-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dropping Off Her Kids Again?
Older woman on phone: June* is in jail right now, but she'll be into work a little later.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: o_o
Categories: Crimes | Jobs & Careers | Old folks | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Time Management | Women | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And My Dad Says I Don't Pursue My Goals!
30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.
Frisco, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | TV shows | Texas | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, and I Finally Finished That Jigsaw Puzzle!
Woman on cell: Did I tell you the baby died? No?! When did we last talk?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Wil
Categories: Death & dying | Kids | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once Upon a Lie in Mexico
Guy on phone: Hey. (pause) No, I can't make it. (pause) Yeah, I'm in Mexico.
Murrieta, California
Overheard by: we're not that far from mexico, but still.....
Categories: California | Guys | Lies | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Most Exciting Thing That's Happened in Tukwila, Washington in Years
Man on cell in line at bank, clearly agitated: After what happened last time, you expect me to do that? (pause) What? I can't work with that! (dead silence, then yelling) Look, you motherfucker... I know what the goddamn price of heroin is, and that's not it! (runs away from bank, gets on his 745 BMW)
Customer in line: Did he just say what I think he said?
Teller: I totally heard "heroin."
Tukwila, Washington
Categories: Customers | Drugs | Employees | Guys | Insults | Money | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2009-12-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's the High Bidder
Lady on cell: That Senator from Costa Rica or wherever said that our little Mandy* was the best strutter in the country!
Walt Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Deeds
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Florida | On the phone | Women | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...As Expressly Stated in the Terms Of My Employment.
Girl on phone: You can't just give me some Craisins and expect everything to be okay after you called me a Nazi!
University of Florida
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Florida | Food | Gifts | Girls | Insults | On the phone | Posted 2009-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seems Rather a Moat Point
Middle aged man on phone: Maraud my castle?
Bath
England
Overheard by: Clara Lee
Categories: England | Guys | On the phone | Questions | Violence | Posted 2009-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Perils Of Undercooked Turducken
Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin' up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.
Louisiana
Overheard by: 2 tables over
A Porno?
Woman on BlackBerry: So what's cream cheese again?
Australia
Categories: Australia | Food | On the phone | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even If You Just Need Someone to Take the Minutes
Man talking loudly on cell: Hey, I heard you have a threesome set up for Saturday! (pauses) Would it be alright if I joined?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I hope he is referring to golf
Categories: Guys | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sex | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Time I Promise Not to Cheat in Front Of You
Crazy woman on cell: Yeah, you know, I just... I really think we're meant to be together. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I feel bad I lost you... (brief pause) but I mean I saw this psychic and she said we're totally meant to be, so yeah... (pause again) Well, I mean if you don't care that I slept with so many guys while we were together, maybe we could try again?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: aiden
Categories: Crazies | Feelings | Infidelity | Magic | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Way Too Shallow to Date a Bald Guy.
Young woman on cell: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What's wrong with you?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes!
Categories: Family ties | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Spoken Like Someone Who's Never Seen Mr. Wrong
Teen girl on cell: Cuz you're not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They're funny.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: um...
Categories: Compare and contrast | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why McDonald's Employees Have Too Much Power in Their Personal Relationships
Chick on cell: There's withholding sex, and then there's withholding French fries.
Cleveland, Ohio
Categories: Chicks | Compare and contrast | Food | Ohio | On the phone | Sex | Posted 2009-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Malls | On the phone | Parenting | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Will Thailand Think Of Next?
Dude on phone: You have a post-coital gift shop?!
College Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Gifts | Guys | On the phone | Questions | Sex | Shopping | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When It's Time to Move to New York, I'll Be Ready, Baby!
Girl on cell: Well, I took your advice and I didn't smile at anyone today. I even scowled at a few!
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Advice | Canadia | Girls | On the phone | Stupidity | Posted 2009-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Bess Discovered Pinwheels, She Wanted to Tell the World
Loud guy on cell: A big colorful *what*?
UMaine
Orono, Maine
Overheard by: umm...
Categories: Guys | Maine | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least I'll Make Some Money Off the Video
Girl on phone: So I walked in on my flatmate using my electric toothbrush to... yeah, doing that. And here I am, still brushing my teeth with it. That is just disgusting. Disgusting!
Cape Town
South Africa
Categories: Africa | Body parts | Cleanliness | Girls | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Not Saying You're Killing Them, Mr. Luciano...
Man in black suit on cell: Why don't you get a statement from one of the other witnesses... if they are still alive.
Courthouse
Austin, Texas
Categories: Crimes | Death & dying | On the phone | Suits | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...As All the Tour Books Will Tell You.
Guy on cell: If you're serious about jumping, you go to the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're really not, go to the Bay Bridge.
San Mateo, California
Overheard by: Technetium
Categories: Advice | California | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Guys | On the phone | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Would Be a Great Name for a Stripper.
Guy on phone: It's not just all about marzipan!
London
England
Overheard by: K
Categories: England | Food | Guys | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least, He Said It Was Mayonnaise
Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Food | Girls | On the phone | South Carolina | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Pick Up a Harvard Guy
Guy with sunglasses on cell: So I went back to the apartment today and he was passed out again! (pause) Yeah, dude, I think he smoked a bowl on my bed and then seized a few times...
B Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Drugs | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | On the phone | Train | Posted 2009-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's in the Microwave
20-something chick on mobile: How many times do I have to tell you? There is no cocaine in my fridge!
University
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: how many times
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Government Job?
Woman on cell: Yeah, I'm on my way to work. I gotta stop for cigarettes and a cocktail.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Overheard in PDX | Smoking | Women | Posted 2009-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day
Girl on cell: So he was like, "I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there." and I was like, "Fuck Brian. I make better waffles."
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Food | Girls | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Blame the Dora the Explorer Movies
Guy on cell: I would be walking, and suddenly the word "vaginas" with a massive smiley face beside would pop into my head, as if my brain was trying to tell me it's fun... like a children's book.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Chad
Categories: Books | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Vagina | Words | Posted 2009-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can a Personal TV Be Too Small? Discuss.
Girl on cell inside convenience store: Why the hell did she get it under her titty? Ain't nobody gonna see it under her titty!
Bowling Green, Ohio
When Living Bras Die
Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off... it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know... Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
Categories: Arizona | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Rack | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's No Euphemism, Dear Reader
Girl on cell: I would've loved to have gone to that socks summit. It sounds amazing!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me, too?
Categories: Clothes | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only on Thursday Nights.
Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Gender issues | Old folks | On the phone | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When You Were Starting to Miss College...
Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random... (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?
UCSB Dorms
California
Overheard by: KLaugh
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Maladies | On the phone | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Do We.
20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum... kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: burrhead
Categories: About celebrities | Drinking & drunks | Girls | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Religion | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Are on Irony Overload
Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.
University
San Francisco, California
Categories: Colleges & Universities | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Stupidity | Thugs | Toys | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Airlines Don't Even Pretend to Care Anymore
Guy on cell: Well, there's a chance you'll get burns all over your body, but other than that you should be fine.
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Body parts | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Kentucky | On the phone | Posted 2009-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Trust Me-- The Cat Will Love It.
Professor on cell: Okay, okay, so get it nice and wet and then put it on.
Ventura College
Ventura, California
Overheard by: Katherine
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | On the phone | Sex | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whoo Hoo, I Just Used All My Words Of the Day!
Girl on cell: It's going to fucking rain in circa one hour.
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: grad student
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | Insults | On the phone | Pennsylvania | Weather | Words | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You, Dad.
Young college woman on cell: No! No, you may not wear my underwear!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: silver spring
Categories: Clothes | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | On the phone | Students | Undies | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Get Your Velma Over Here and Let's Party.
Man on cell, about his genitals: Yeah, it's shaped up like a 'fro on a Scooby Doo Chia Pet.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Hair | On the phone | TV shows | Toys | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Much Like My Soul!
Girl on cell: Yeah, so I'm going to tell my mom that he asked me to marry him, and then he died. (pause) Yeah, she'll probably ask if I need anything, and that's when I'll tell her about the car. (pause) Yeah, I'll be heartbroken, blah, blah, blah... at least I'll get a new car out of the deal! (pause) He's a made-up boyfriend! She's not going to find out he didn't really die, because he never really existed!
San Marcos, California
Categories: California | Death & dying | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Lies | On the phone | Parenting | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hold On-- Lemme Just Wipe It for Her
Annoyed lady on cell in bathroom stall: Mmm- hmmm... uh-huh, mmm-hmm, yep. Oh, before that, can you tell her to lick my ass, too?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I hope she?s not talking about me.
Categories: Ass | Licking | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Restroom | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Divorced Your Third Husband for Peeing in Your Shoes?
Woman on cell: I've been through many husbands, but the dog has been with me for 14 years! Men can be replaced but the dog stays!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: sara
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Feelings | On the phone | Relationships | Time Management | Washington | Women | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, or the Mescaline Is Finally Kicking In.
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Categories: Animals | Family ties | Guys | Hair | Illinois | On the phone | Parenting | Posted 2009-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The One in Your Office Is for You to Explain
Guy in hallway on cell, in Arabic: Next time, tell her it was my riding crop in your bedroom.
Halifax
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Guys | Kink | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, Even Hoboes Have Bad Days
Preppy guy on cell: Really? He didn't spit on me when I fed him the other day.
Cal Poly Pomona
Pomona, California
Overheard by: sorry, my llama is unpredictable
Categories: California | Food | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Preppies | Posted 2009-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, One Containing a Central Venous Line
Middle-aged rich bitch on cell: I'll pay up to $300 for a hat I can't live without, you know?
Washington, DC
Categories: Biotechs | Clothes | Clothing | Money | On the phone | Shopping | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If She Doesn't Want Them, Our Entire System Of Currency Is Shot to Shit
Woman on phone: Well, if she wants the fucking dishtowels, she better!
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Overheard by: Drew
Categories: Insults | On the phone | Tennessee | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Okay, Love You Too, Grandma. Bye.
iPod girl on cell: I'm eating lunch and listening to lesbian music. (pause) Yeah, The L Word soundtrack. I'm working on becoming a lesbian again. (laughs) I'm just kidding. I'm still gonna drive stick. (pause) That's what happens when you're a cock whore. You can't just give it up cold turkey.
Atlanta, Georgia
That's the Olive Garden's Call-Ahead Policy, Ma'am
Loud girl on cell: No embalming for me! I just wanna rot!
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Categories: Death & dying | Girls | On the phone | Washington, DC | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Categories: Balls | Bathing | Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like in Revenge Of the Dairy Fairy!
Woman on cell: Dude, you guys drink milk like cows!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Categories: Animals | California | Compare and contrast | Food | On the phone | Women | Posted 2009-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Finished with the Scavenger Hunt
Guy on cell: Now I just need to get jumped.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not the best place to shout that out
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Sex | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Tell If Someone's on Parole
Scruffy dude picking up cell with fart noises as ringtone: Hi, honey.
Family Video
Brockport, New York
Overheard by: swear it was the phone
Categories: Burping & farting | Cell phones | Guys | New York | On the phone | Relationships | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like on That Episode Of Sliders
Woman on cell: Everyone's a Jew, except for the Jews!
Livonia, Michigan
Categories: Michigan | On the phone | Race | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Raising Vampires Is a Thankless Job
Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?
Michigan State University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Michigan | Old folks | On the phone | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I Let You Dog-Sit.
20-something girl on phone: Okay, how much did she drink? Okay. (pause) Well, can you wake her up? No? (pause) Okay, see, but I don't think it would be a good idea to give her some cocaine.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: frink
Categories: California | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Girls | On the phone | Posted 2009-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seriously, What Makes People Think That?
Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!
Red Line Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Categories: Girls | Goths | On the phone | Orgasm | Penis | Train | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Terrible Twos.
Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.
Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Bus | Fears | Massachusetts | On the phone | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though Perhaps Stinky on Two Counts
Girl on cell: And we're going to watch Twilight and poop later... It's going to be a good night!
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Girls | Movies | On the phone | Poop | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think You Have Much Choice
Woman on phone: So you want me to call her anyway and tell her that I'm not coming to a party that I wasn't invited to?
Park Ave
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Christina Federici
That Would End the Fun and Games
Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Parenting | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2009-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet...
New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?
Train
Dublin
Ireland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Couples | Feelings | Foreigners | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Money | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Train | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is This the Best I'm Ever Gonna Look?
Sad-looking girl on cell: I'm trying my hardest to be pretty... I'm at the gym, like, every day!
Washington, DC
Categories: Beauty | Diet & weight | Girls | On the phone | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Be Afraid, Dear Reader. Be Very Afraid.
Man with thick accent on cell: The problem is that their religion is their life. They are diabolically opposed. (long pause) Yes. I think it is time for another crusades.
Salt Lake City, Utah
And a Tranquilizer Rifle
Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.
The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Needs Watering, If You Follow Me
Woman on phone: As long as she can wear it without showing her lady garden, then that's fine by me.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | New Zealand | On the phone | Vagina | Women | Posted 2009-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Know Whether To Laugh, Say "Awww....", Call DSS, Or Puke In My Mouth
Lady on cell: Just because she's wearing big-girl panties doesn't mean she's not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
Mr. Bradshaw Sometimes Needs Help with the Basics
Loud guy on cell: Terry! Terry! Listen to me! Use that shampoo! And the conditioner! Get your hair the same way it was last week! (pause) Okay, see you there. Bye.
Oxford Street
London
England
Categories: Advice | Bathing | Cleanliness | England | Guys | Hair | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Do They Need Math Tutoring?
Suit on cell: And then we'll use the leftover money for the Asians!
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Curious
Categories: Money | On the phone | Race | Suits | Washington | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some People's Dirty Talk Should Be Confined to the Bedroom
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Categories: Candy | Education | Girls | Illinois | On the phone | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Almost As Great As "O Hanukah" on Kazoo
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard "Dreidel, dreidel " played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Delaware | Guys | Music | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The First English Settlers Called It "Feculanta"
British guy on cell: Ugh! I just stuck my umbrella in something that resembles feces!
MARTA
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Guys | On the phone | Poop | Words | Posted 2009-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The New Oxyclean Commercials Aren't for Everyone
Young man on cell: So there's someone cleaning their floor with the blood of one of their relatives, and it's like...a bit much, you know?
Bus, Denmark Hill
London
England
Overheard by: trying not to turn around
Categories: Bus | Cleanliness | England | Family ties | Guys | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Specifically, "Sry 4 Rnin Yr Lf :("
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, "I'm sorry for ruining your life"?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Posted 2009-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link |