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...As We Learned at Basic Training.
Marine: Don't waste good Fun Dip! That's like slapping Jesus in the face!
Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan
Overheard by: Justus
Categories: Advice | Food | Jesus | Middle East | Military | Posted 2011-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Mean, Like, Jersey Shore?
Marine with no game to clearly uninterested sales clerk: And we marines say "semper fi" to each other, do you know what that means?
Sales girl: Yeah, it...
Marine, interrupting: It means "always faithful." It's like Russian or some shit... No. Maybe Italian... Yeah, it's Italian.
Mall
Birmingham, Alabama
We Salute the Men and Women Who Fight for the Freedom to Be Ignorant
Soldier: So I guess I'm leaving around April-ish.
Girl: Why can't they send you to Paris? Or Greece?
Soldier: Um... Cause we aren't at war there?
Girl: Well, we should be!
Ft. Campbell, Kentucky
In My Defense, I Only Cheated on Her with Non-Humans.
Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Infidelity | Military | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Those Are Meat Loaf.
Chubby guy, pointing to cookies: Can I have one from this side where they're, like, actually cooked?
Chow Line
USS Nimitz Carrier
Overheard by: LikesThemBurnt
Categories: Food | Guys | Military | Offers and requests | Posted 2009-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then I'll Have to French-Kiss You, in a "Thank-You-for-Smacking-Me" Kind Of Way
Marine #1, on plane: Since you got the window seat, I might lean my head on your shoulder for part of this flight. Not in a gay way, more in a I'm-tired-and-want-to-lean-my-head-on-something kind of way.
Marine #2: Alright, but I might have to smack you. Not in an I-hate-you kind of way, more in a get-your-head-off-my-damn-shoulder kind of way.
Airplane
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Body parts | Georgia | Military | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Threats | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Just in Time to See the Internet Made Illegible
Soldier: What is that thing?
Passenger #1: An iPhone.
Passenger #2: Man, where the hell have you been?
Soldier: Iraq.
Flight from Minneapolis to Pittsburgh
Categories: Airports & flights | Cell phones | Default | Geography | Military | Questions | Strangers | USA | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Works in a 7-Eleven, So He's Used to It
Marine to friend: So, it's like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Categories: California | Crimes | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Friends | Military | Murder | Relationships | Women | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"You're the Worst Math Tutor Ever," I Said.
Marine #1: So, how was it?
Marine #2: Crazy. She wanted me to take a shit in her pussy. That's fucking weird, man.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Soundbite Lover
Categories: California | Kink | Military | Poop | Vagina | Posted 2007-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Rumsfeld Really Left Office
Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.
Twentynine Palms, California
Categories: BJs | California | Gossip | Military | Posted 2007-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
