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Gosh, I Miss Circuit Parties.
Nurse #1: Constipated and a lot of bloody stool.
Nurse #2: (laughs uproariously)
North Shore Hospital
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | New York | Nurses | Poop | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Not As Good As the Cucumber, or the Remote Control
Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!
ER
Newport Beach, California
Categories: Ass | California | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Doctor's office | Doctors | Hands | Nurses | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
74
Maternity nurse to nursing students: I mean, how many fingers do I want in my vagina in twelve hours?
Clinton Township, Michigan
Don't Get Saucy with Me, Mr. Clinton
Nurse: How are the bowel movements?
Patient: Define "bowel movements."
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Not a Dr
Categories: Body parts | Default | Health & Hygiene | Nurses | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Patients | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Patient Was a Little Upset with Me
Nurse: I didn't know it yet, but I was saying 'fuck'!
VA Medical Center
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Scut-monkey
Are You Sure You Need to See an Obstetrician?
Nurse: Mr. Oberman*?
Mr. Oberman: Yes?
Nurse: Are you still here?
Waiting room
Hampton, Virginia
Overheard by: stainedglassdoll
The Grasshoppers Were Reluctant to Part with Them
Nurse: Okay, so... Where, exactly, did you acquire these grasshopper heads?
Hospital waiting room
California
Overheard by: Niki
Categories: California | Nurses | Questions | Posted 2007-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Where Does Sleep Sex Fit In?
Nurse on phone: Are you sexually active? ... Okay, that's usually a 'yes' or a 'no.'
Tang Center Urgent Care
Berkeley, California
Categories: California | Nurses | Questions | Posted 2007-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Police Escort Was Another Hint
Nurse: I didn't even bother checking the urgency, but I guess if there are stab marks it's urgent.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: funvill
Categories: Nurses | Office politics | Overheard in Vancouver | Posted 2007-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can, but They're Kinda Like Taffy
Nurse: Okay, it's time to push the baby out. Take a deep breath, hold it, and push! One, two, three... That was an awesome push! I want you to do the same thing with the next contraction, okay?
Baby daddy: Why are you making her do this?
Nurse: Ummm, to get the baby out.
Baby daddy: Are you kidding me? How long do you expect her to do it?
Nurse: Until the baby comes out.
Baby daddy: This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Can't you just pull it out or something?
Labor and Delivery unit
Bakersfield, California
Categories: Birthing | California | Guys | Nurses | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
