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Translation: Top That, Motherfucker!
Amherst girl to Dartmouth guy, discussing Hillel dinners at Harvard: I turned down a position at Massachusetts General Hospital because they don't have squash courts.
Commuter Rail Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Doctors | Health & Hygiene | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Either Believe That, or Commit Suicide
Physiotherapist: I have a small wife, so a small penis is okay.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Doctors | Penis | Stupidity | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Slow It Is, Sir
Surgeon: Hey, I need to change the big, sticky plastic dressing on your arm. Wanna go slow or do it in one fell swoop?
Patient, looking at dressing covering length of arm: Nahhh, that ain't gon' be no wonton soup...
Jamaica Hospital
Overheard by: MS3
Categories: Body parts | Doctors | Food | Health & Hygiene | New York | Patients | Posted 2010-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Imagine Steve Martin in This Role
Dentist instructing dental students: And if it's your first time doing a certain procedure, don't tell the patient. Just do it without them knowing it's your first time. Don't ask them, 'cause they'll probably say no. It's just easier for everyone. (awkward pause) Am I the only one that does that?
Queensland
Australia
But Not As Good As the Cucumber, or the Remote Control
Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!
ER
Newport Beach, California
Categories: Ass | California | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Doctor's office | Doctors | Hands | Nurses | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2010-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If I Eat That I Get a Rash
Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Patient: Yes, nuts!
Doctor: What happens when you ingest nuts?
Patient: They come out whole in my poop!
Waterloo, Iowa
Like What Happened to the Knights Templar?
Attending physician to resident: You'd be surprised what you can learn from someone's anus.
Tampa General Emergency Room
Tampa, Florida
What Can I Say? It Was a Moment of Passion
Doctor to patient: It's simply impossible to fall on it! Your ass would not stretch that far for it to go in!
Sparrow Hospital ER
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: laughing intern
