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Glad the condom broke All Categories > People > Kids > Glad the condom broke
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Why Kids Shouldn't Watch Cinemax After Dark
Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That's nice.
Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: this is why I don't shop at the gap
Categories: California | Family ties | Girls | Glad the condom broke | Kids | Malls | Moms | Offspring | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: My Kids Are Greedy Little Assholes
Little girl with mother: My birthday's coming up soon, so I don't want to get anything for me.
Woman in opposite aisle: There is no way that child is human.
CVS
Houston, Texas
Categories: Etiquette | Glad the condom broke | Gossip | Strangers | Texas | Posted 2008-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Want to Stay Down -- Like George Michael
Small boy, dancing and singing: Wake me up before you go-go, I don't ever wanna be a yo-yo!
Hallmark store
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Minnesota | Music | Posted 2007-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Remember the Safe Word This Time, I Swear!
Little boy: No! But Daddy, I want you to spank me!
Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Glad the condom broke | Gripes | Posted 2007-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Gonna Be a Heartbreaker
Mom: No, Joshua, put it down.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Put it down this instant, or you are going to be in big trouble, mister.
Five-year-old boy: No!
Mom: Drop it!
Five-year-old boy: Dammit, Kathy, I'm tired of your crap!
Target
Walnut Creek, California
Categories: California | Glad the condom broke | Gripes | Moms | Posted 2007-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Charming Belief Has a One-Week Half-Life
Mom: But, honey, it's important that you look nice when you go to school and that everything matches.
Six-year-old girl: Mom, it's not how I look that's important -- it's about my education.
Wethersfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: too cute!
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Glad the condom broke | Moms | Posted 2007-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worth a Shot
Mom: I'll have a diet Coke.
Dad: I'll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I'll have a Bailey's coffee.
Waitress: Um... Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I'll just have coffee, then.
Cheesecake Factory
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: around the corner
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Glad the condom broke | Parents | Servers | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shit, No, It's Jafar!
Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy -- it's Aladdin.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Movies | Virginia | Posted 2007-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Can Smell Cop on You a Mile Away
Eight-year-old: I believe the fanny dance is in order here.
Amused passerby: Awww, what is the fanny dance?
Eight-year-old: Wouldn't you like to know.
Dallas, Texas
Categories: Dancing | Glad the condom broke | Texas | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Work on Your Ironic Appreciation of Popular Culture
Toddler: Do you want a piece of me? Do you want a piece of me?
Father: Are you talking to me?
Toddler: Do you want a piece of me?
Father: No, that's okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Dads | Glad the condom broke | Illinois | Threats | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They Painted John Adams Purple
Little girl to mother, pointing at a picture of Ronald McDonald: Look, Mommy -- they put lipstick on George Washington!
McDonald's
Jackson, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lydia
Categories: Glad the condom broke | History | New Jersey | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Find That a Relaxed No-Mindedness Is Much More Effective
Mother: Don't talk now, honey. Concentrate.
Little girl: Concentrate on the poo! Concentrate on the poo!
Bathroom, Newark Int'l Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Moms | New Jersey | Poop | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Ice Cream for Anybody
Mom: We can't have ice cream. You just had candy at the movie.
Little girl: Mom, you are such a gutter-skank.
Mom, flabbergasted: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Little girl: Dad.
Capitol Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Total Gutterskank
Categories: California | Glad the condom broke | Insults | Moms | Parenting | Words | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's the Only Possible Explanation
Little girl: Why did she get remarried? Did she forget?
Alaska
Categories: Alaska | Glad the condom broke | Questions | Posted 2007-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not before I'm Old Enough to Spend It on Hookers and Blow
Little kid in leather jacket to random man lighting cigarette: Nooo! Stop! Poison! I am too rich to die!
North Carolina
Categories: Glad the condom broke | North Carolina | Smoking | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Comment, I'd Really Need a Larger Sample
Four-year-old girl looking at Michelangelo's David: Do you see the penis?
Nanny: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: I like the penis! Do you like the penis?
Nanny, turning around and walking away: There's no good way to answer this.
Florence
Italy
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Italy | Penis | Questions | Posted 2007-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In a World Gone Mad, She Made Her Own Rules
Woman: If anyone ever hurts you tell them to stop that, because it's not nice.
Little girl: And then you kick them in the face!
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Advice | Glad the condom broke | New Zealand | Violence | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Could Stand to Cut Back on the Drinking As Well
Seven-year-old girl: Mama, did you know that hip-hop is good to do if you need to lose weight?
Mother: I'm sure it is... But sweetie, you don't need to lose weight!
Seven-year-old girl: No, but you do!
Massachusetts
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Insults | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Keep Watering It, Sweetie
Little girl: Mom, why don't I have a hairy butt like you?
Bathroom, AA flight 329
Categories: Airports & flights | Ass | Glad the condom broke | Hair | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And What Are We? Posers!
Mom: That's Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po-sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po-sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!
Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sar
Categories: Fashion | Glad the condom broke | Insults | Moms | New Jersey | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Not Be Upstaged by a Rabbit
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she's been to the theater before
Categories: Advice | Glad the condom broke | Pennsylvania | Toys | Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
