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Eh, You'd Say Just About Anything for a Slice.
Bogan girlfriend: You don't loves me! You don't loves me!
Bogan boyfriend: What do you mean I don't loves you? I fucks you and buys you a pie!
Armidale
Australia
Being Catholic, We Already Hate Ourselves
Boyfriend to girlfriend: If anyone ever walked in on us having sex, they'd swear we hate each other.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Hubbies | New Jersey | Sex | Violence | Posted 2010-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability
Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Nashville, Tennessee
Note to Self: Don't Punch Natalie in the Nose
Boyfriend, pressing girlfriend's nose with thumb: Hmmm. I don't think I'd date you if you looked like this.
New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Hubbies | New Jersey | Posted 2010-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe You Shouldn't Blow Him Whenever He Asks for It
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Aww... I love you.
Boyfriend: Thanks, buddy!
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: I kinda like you too!
Girlfriend: I can't believe you. (to another girl) Can you believe that?
Kent, Ohio
Categories: Feelings | Hubbies | Ohio | Relationships | Posted 2010-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Wisconsin, That's a 1-900 Number
Tween boy with arm around girlfriend: So, he actually tried to use my phone to call Hitler...
Wisconsin
And Snooki Doesn't Care Who Knows It
Guy: You have a hole in your pants.
Girl: I know.
Guy, after pause: Nice underwear.
Girl's boyfriend: Yeah, she always has nice underwear...
New Jersey
Categories: Bragging | Hubbies | New Jersey | Undies | Posted 2010-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Abby-- My Friend Has an "Awkward" Husband...
Woman #1: Oh my god, Jason Statham is so hot! I want to funk him so bad!
Woman #2: I know! When you're done, I'm next!
Hubby of woman #1: And when they're done, I want to smell his cock.
Islip, New York
Overheard by: Who is Jason Statham?
Couple More Explosions Would've Done It for Me
Woman in her fifties, walking out of Brideshead Revisited: It was okay.
Husband: Yeah.
Woman: It's no Wall-E, but it was okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Evy
You've Taught Him Respect
Hubby: Absolute power corrupts absolutely, dear.
Wifey: It's not absolute.
Hubby: It isn't?
Wifey: No. You're not bowing.
Cashier: Ooh, I like you.
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the girl with the hat
Categories: Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Couples | Customers | Default | Employees | Hubbies | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just the Guy We've Been Looking For!
Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don't need one. My wife says I'm an asshole.
Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Categories: Canadia | Default | Hubbies | Insults | Offers and requests | Relationships | Religion | Religious fanatics | Suits | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Full Of Heroin?
Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?
CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana
Categories: Crimes | Default | Hubbies | Memory lane | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Thugs | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That Cute?
Man, pointing out the window, to his wife: Look, honey, they even have cars!
Shout-out: zipster.wordpress.com
Overheard by: The Zipster
Categories: Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Holidays | Hubbies | Idiots | North America | Stupidity | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good Thing You Weren't in the Supply Closet an Hour Ago
Teacher: Oh wow, I just noticed that I'm not wearing my wedding ring. I feel half naked... You guys are lucky that I'm not.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Clothes | Default | Guys | Hubbies | Relationships | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hope to Be the Best Piece of Ash She's Ever Had
Old hillbilly: I love my old lady so much, I told her that when I die, I want her to cremate me, put me in a douche bag and give me one more go 'round...
Athens, Georgia
Yeah, You Don't Need Magnums, Either
Man buying condoms, to wife: I don't need any lubricant with you, honey!
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Everything I Chose to Do to You Is Your Fault
Wife: This is the last chance. I'm really going to file for divorce unless you're willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won't cheat on.
Omaha, Nebraska
Yeah? Depends.
Hubby to wifey: No power on earth will make me wear a diaper.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Overheard by: Jessie
Categories: Hubbies | Overheard in Utah | Pride | Posted 2007-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like What a Tonsillectomy Does to Your Singing Voice
Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hair | Hubbies | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
