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Suck His Toes and You'll Be High for Days
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I'm tellin' you, I don't know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don't want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil' socks, you know... Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Categories: Airports & flights | Black people | Body parts | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Hoochies | Maladies | Michigan | On the phone | Threats | Women | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can't believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you're supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn't! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Categories: Bus | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Couples | Crimes | Euphemisms | Fat people | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Hoochies | Iowa | Leisure | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just the Decorative Scarring, Then?
Hoochie: I would never get my clit pierced there.
O'Bannon's Bar
College Station, Texas
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Hoochies | Texas | Vagina | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Never Get to Use Them
Hoochie: I do have good morals, I'm just really drunk all the time.
Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Hoochies | Sex | Virginia | Posted 2008-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might As Well Embrace It -- You're Stuck with It
Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn't it awesome?!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Default | Health & Hygiene | Hoochies | Illinois | On the phone | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Centers for Disease Control Have a Whole Josh Wing
Hoochie: Yeah, I don't know, but Josh and I totally hooked up for a while last year.
Friend: What? Why?!
Hoochie: What do you mean, 'Why'? Josh is hot.
Friend: Dude, hooking up with Josh is like hanging a sign on your vagina that says, 'Come on in, chlamydia.' If I was looking for a communicable disease, Josh is the first place I'd go.
Hoochie: Oh...
California State University-Chico
Chico, California
Overheard by: Kimberly
Categories: California | Gossip | Hoochies | STDs | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Man, I Love Youth Group Retreats
Chick deciding between two skanky tops: Well, what's the difference? I'm just going to get drunk and take it off anyway.
H&M, Briarwood Mall
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Melanie
Categories: Clothes | Drinking & drunks | Hoochies | Michigan | Posted 2008-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then What's That Waving at Me?
Hootchie at pool table: Believe me, there is nothing coming out of my vagina!
Jake's Saloon
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: MoNkEyPoX
All You Gaywads Must Be Jealous
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
What Did You Expect Your Dentist to Do?
Hoochie: I strategically wore a skirt and he didn't even try anything!
West Campus
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Molly
One Step at a Time
30-year-old: I will be somebody's cum bucket, but I won't be anybody's cum dumpster!
Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com
Categories: Hoochies | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Los Angeles | Posted 2007-09-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With a Descriptive Epithet Like That, I'm Not Surprised
Ghetto hoochie stoner: I can't remember nothin' 'bout nothin'. My long-term memory is 'bout to get shot.
Outside of City Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Categories: Gripes | Hoochies | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Put His Crib in the Freezer
Possibly preggers teen: I'm going to name my baby 'Vodka.'
Skanky mom: Oh.
Liquor store
Delaware
And Was It Simultaneous?
Guy: I've heard rumors...
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it's not a rumor -- it's the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: overheardinmillersville
Categories: Gossip | Hoochies | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, If There's Time
Hoochie on pink cell: I always change my sheets in between boyfriends. It's like how guys change condoms in between girls.
13th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Categories: Florida | Health & Hygiene | Hoochies | Posted 2007-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Tuck? I Tuck.
Confused girl to another: You're a man-whore? I'm a man-whore, too!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Hoochies | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quite The Contrary
Hoochie to another: Just because you're a slut doesn't mean you have dibbs!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Hoochies | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm an Equal-Opportunity Whore
Hoochie #1: I'm just an attention-whore, not a sex-whore.
Hoochie #2: I think I'm both.
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Meesh
Categories: Hoochies | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sooner Or Later the Reflexes Start to Go
Hot chick: Trust me, I would know. I'm a retired slut.
Maine
Overheard by: oh really?
Categories: Hoochies | Jobs & Careers | Maine | Posted 2007-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ask for $100, Settle for $5
Hoochie: If I could get a hundred bucks just for showing my titties on Jerry Springer, I'd so do it.
Chicago, Illinois
Which Has Changed Nothing Except the Smell
Hoochie: That's why I made my New Year's resolution not to vomit so much when I'm drunk. Now I do it when I'm sober.
University of Central Florida
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Petty
Shoes Last Longer, Unless We're Talking Sting or Payless
Hoochie: I understand that you're worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Hoochies | New York | Shoes | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That Kind of Gilding the Lily?
Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.
Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Categories: Canadia | Hoochies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Shoes | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, "Make All Deliveries in Rear"
Guy: You're such a slut.
Chick: That's what my tattoo says!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Hoochies | Insults | Overheard Lines | Tattoos | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Irresistible; That Makes It His Fault
Chick #1: Oh my god, I was so drunk last night! Do you think Lisa will get mad that I made out with her boyfriend?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: Well, it wasn't really my fault.
Chick #2: Yes, it was. You basically went up to him, batted your eyelashes, and started making out.
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: California | Hoochies | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Scientists Are Investigating
Girl to friend: It's really weird -- every time I hang out with a guy, we end up having sex!
Angelo State University
San Angelo, Texas
Overheard by: adriana
Which I Do to Make Getting Pregnant Fun
Girl: That's totally the last time I'm getting pregnant. It takes all the fun out of drinking!
RFK Stadium Metro Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Hoochies | Philosophy | Pregnancy | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Old Good Cock/Bad Cock Routine
Chatty lady: So, did I tell you I was getting married?
Man: That's great. I'm happy for you.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I'm having a hard time giving up my old boyfriend, though. He really understands the way I like to be dominated in bed. The sex is just sooo good, I'm not sure I can stop seeing him.
Man: Uhhh, yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Chatty lady: Yeah, I guess I'm just in a monogamous relationship with two men.
Birmingham, Alabama
