Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Hobos All Categories > People > Homeless > Hobos
Recent | Best Of
Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Coworkers | Crazies | Customers | Death & dying | Etiquette | Food | Hobos | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Questions | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Ever Work on Black People?
Leathery hobo to passing students: One of you white-ass, livin'-inside motherfuckers owes me a dollar!
Austin, Texas
If I Don't Keep at It, I'll Never Graduate to Snarling
Hobo #1, after growling at passenger: I had to growl at someone.
Hobo #2: Yup.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Default | Feelings | Hobos | Violence | Washington | Posted 2008-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have a Jungian Query for the Hand-Dryer
Hobo: 'Scuse me, yo, can you tell me where the psychological bathroom is?
Bookstore
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: bookseller
As It Is, I'm Just Going to Nibble on You Instead of Robbing You
Hobo to freshman running by: You're lucky I'm high, kid.
State Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Sweetie, All Men Are Transparent
Hobo: Damn, shorty, you lookin' good!
Black girl, groping white boy passerby: I don't like the dark chocolate -- I need a boy I can see my reflection in!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: D.B.
Categories: Black people | Hobos | Race | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Legacy of Enron
Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I'll pull out my 401(k) on you!
418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
And the Make-a-Wish Foundation Rejected My Request
Hobo to three women crossing street: I wanna bite y'alls' butts! I wanna bite a butt!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tron
Categories: Ass | Hobos | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Drive-By Insults on the Rise in Canadia
Crazy hobo: You have pretty hair, unlike mine. My hair is ugly. You're ugly, too. [Chick stares.] I gotta go steal some DVDs now. Bye, ladies!
Downtown Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: At least he was honest
Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Insults | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2007-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Hallucinations Need Veterinary Care
Hobo holding up stuffed glove: ... And now the mitten is having babies... And the liquid is starting to come out...
Ashland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karrie
Special Radiation Makes the Homeless Invisible to the Rest of Us
Hobo to passerby wearing sunglasses: That's right, 'cause I'm radioactive!
Detroit, Michigan
When the Student Is Ready, the Master Will Insult Him
Hobo: Fuck you, ya dirty fuckhole!
Male passerby: Wait -- 'fuckhole'? Is that, like, a cooch or an ass?
Hobo: Depends on if you're gay or not. For you, it's an ass.
Denny Way
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Washington | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The First Time in a Spotless Twenty Years of Alcohol Abuse
Loud hobo with wet pant leg: I pissed my pants! I got to get home to my wife to show her I pissed my pants! I got to teach my kids how not to piss their pants! I can't believe I pissed my pants!
Washington, DC
Categories: Hobos | Pee | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Amherst College Graduates Are Often Lacking in Tact
Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Kids | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which One Would You Want to Be True?
Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I'm going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]
Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Hobos | Lies | Pop culture | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Make-Up Sex Is Phenomenal
Hobo to cardboard box that fell out of his cart: I hate you with a passion! A very strong passion! And a very strong hate...
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Man, What Isn't?
Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, "Jesus loves you."] ... It's in the Bible!
Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Peggy
Categories: Hobos | Panhandling | San Francisco | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens to Unemployed Meteorologists
Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!
Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Cum | God | Hobos | Posted 2007-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Being Straight with the IRS Gets You
Hobo to suits who ignore his panhandling: Yeah?! Well, at least I never lied on my income taxes!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Hobos | Lies | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Curse You, Starbucks!
Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I'd offer you some, but it's not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers... This tastes like crap!
In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kier
You Don't Seem to Grasp the Spirit of Marketing
Crazy hobo passing out flyers: The animals eat the vegetables, and we are the minerals...
Girl, rejecting flyer: No, thanks. I've got one already.
Crazy hobo: You're a communist transvestite on Mars!
Isla Vista, California
Categories: California | Hobos | Insults | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Blonde's Dream
Hobo: Wow, you look just like Billy Idol!
Blonde: Um, thanks.
Hobo: No, really. You look good, girl. Wanna share some of my wine?
Blonde: Um, no thanks. I'm good.
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Compliments | Hobos | Posted 2007-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can I Get a Swig?
Hobo: Girl, I know you're a freak! All redheads are freaks!
Brunette hipster pumping gas: Step off. What I do is none of your business.
Hobo: Lady, I'm just talking shit 'cause I'm drunk.
Brunette hipster: Me, too.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: cuspy
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Hipsters | Hobos | Missouri | Posted 2007-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But at That Point I've Got Nothing to Lose!
Hobo to another: If that bitch is late, you gotta pull the dick out.
Wacker Drive and Lake Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: pulled out
Whatever Works
Girls' sports team jogging by: Happy Wacky Wednesday!
Hobo: I thought it was Whip 'em Out Wednesday!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hobos | Names | Overheard at BU | Posted 2007-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, I've Had to Tell Tommy Hilfiger's People No
Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I've been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that's what they're called... You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
Categories: Advice | Hobos | San Francisco | Words | Posted 2007-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?
Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it -- you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam -- you're shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Hobos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just after the Army Haircut
Crazy hobo: You lookin' good, girl! You look like Elvis!
Davis Street
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: the queen of rock 'n' roll
Categories: Compliments | Hobos | Michigan | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think of It As an Experimental Fiction Grant
Hobo: I tried skateboarding once, but I fell down and had a baby... Can I have some money?
Granville SkyTrain station
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: chad
Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Panhandling | Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's in the Fridge with the Pizza
Chick: Hey, want some pizza?
Hobo: Sure!
Chick: It's cold, but it's still pizza.
Hobo: What?! Cold pizza? Who eats cold pizza? I ain't never heard anything like that in my life. No, I don't want any of your crack-ass pizza.
Chick: Hey, you're homeless! You're not supposed to be picky.
Hobo: I bet you have a tight pussy.
W 9th Street and LaSalle Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: izz-ay
I Was Just Holding That Wall for a Friend
Lady hobo: Man, you is the biggest crackhead I ever met.
Giant hobo, muttering incoherently: No, man, I ain't no crackhead. I ain't no crackhead.
Lady hobo: Nigga, you smoke drywall!
Atlanta, Georgia
Which Is the Gold Standard for Nastiness
Screaming hobo: Your mouth is nasty! Your mouth is nasty, man! Your mouth is nastier than my asshole!
Shattuck Avenue and Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Categories: California | Hobos | Insults | Mouth | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Rare Spotting of the Tufted Gay Hobo
Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Hobos | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
