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The Duck and I Were Reenacting the Dunkirk Evacuation!
Chav, showing off in front of group of underage girls: Yes bruv, you don't even know, there was this duck, yeah, and I snapped its neck, innit! It was swimmin' around with its head loose making stupid noises!
Slightly older chav friend: Breds, you're talking shit, man. Number one, if you snapped a duck's neck it wouldn't still be swimming. B, I was there, remember, that fucking duck bit you on the hand, bruv and you screamed like a woman and ran away.
Cambridgeshire
England
Overheard by: Tim C
...No Disrespect to Your Profession, Ma'am
Hobo bundled up on hot day to passers-by: If you were me, homeless, and you had a thousand dollars in your pocket--a thousand dollars and you're homeless--would you spend it on hookers?
Man walking with woman: (laughs)
Hobo, pointing at him: See, you're with me! I knew it!
Vancouver
Canadia
Pop Quiz: Which Of These Things Are True About Sarah Palin?
Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!
Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: C
Categories: Assholes | California | Hobos | Masturbation | Offers and requests | Politics | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2011-01-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
I'm Afraid Beer Had Me
Hobo, surrounded by EMTs and police: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Sir, have you been drinking?
Hobo: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Have you had anything yummy, like beer?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: nathans
...So I'll Steal Your Wallet Respectfully.
Hobo: Can I ask for a favor?
Man: Not today, mate (walks away)
Hobo, muttering: Well, at least you're honest.
Outside Mall
West Australia
Mrs. Clinton's a Superb Secretary Of State
Hobo in track suit, shouting into cell: Why? Because she has no goddamn boundaries!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Massachusetts | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Never Find Love With Food in Your Teeth
Hobo: Do you know what the world needs more of?
Coffee employee: Love?
Hobo: Nope, toothpicks... but love was a good guess.
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Employees | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Hobos | Questions | Posted 2010-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Flirt With the Homeless, Dude
Gay guy to hobo: Good morning. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mutters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have given you a dollar or something! (starts walking down street) Why do people have to be so ignorant on such a sunny day?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Meater Maid
Categories: Assholes | Bragging | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Pennsylvania | Queers | Posted 2010-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Proceeded to Link Arms and Skip Off Into the Sunset
Obnoxious panhandler: Spare change if you give a shit! Spare change if you give a shit!
Sassy gay man walking by: I don't.
Obnoxious panhandler: Me neither!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: RP
Categories: California | Comebacks | Hobos | Panhandling | Queers | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kim Jong-il Actually Pulls Off "Hobo" Flawlessly
Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot... Maybe some nuclear weapons...
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Food | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Strangers | Violence | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About the Guy Who Was Blowing You Yesterday
Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.
Urbana, Illinois
Categories: Cops | Family ties | Hobos | Illinois | Jesus | Money | Panhandling | Questions | Race | Posted 2009-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Gonna Love Detroit, Sir
Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.
Hospital
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: yooo
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Employees | Evil | Hair | Hobos | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
David Byrne, Is That You?
Disgruntled hobo outside dollar store: All anyone ever thinks about is "Do I still love him?" and "What happened to your teeth?" That don't make no sense!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Feelings | Hobos | Posted 2009-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You've Got Game If You Can Pick Up Girls at the Reading Room
Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um... hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)
Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Christianity | Hobos | Names | Offers and requests | Old folks | Teens | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Prelude to This Season's Greatest Love Story
Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Hobos | Money | Offers and requests | Panhandling | Students | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Worked Really Hard to Steal Them.
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Girls | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Posted 2009-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Love Your Ass
Hobo to another: Guys like us were never taught the value of words. And that's why I always come out on top. Because I understand the meaning of the word "itinerant." And you, sir, are an itinerant and a philanderer!
New York City, New York
That Works More Often Than You'd Think
Crazy hobo: I like your hair.
Girl: Thanks.
Crazy hobo: Can I have it?
Girl: No, it's mine.
Crazy hobo: Oh, okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Compliments | Crazies | Girls | Hair | Hobos | Illinois | Offers and requests | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Better Than Our Current Strategy in the Middle East
Crazy hobo, walking in office: Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Give every male one shot of ecstasy a day from the time they are seven to seventy, and that will end all the violence!
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: follylolly
...Unlike Your Tasseled Loafers.
Hobo: You ever model?
Cute Asian guy: Uh, no.
Hobo: You should think about it. You have nice cheekbones. But definitely go with an agency.
Cute Asian guy: Okay. (awkward pause)
Hobo: By the way, this is man-to-man. This isn't no gay shit!
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Compliments | Guys | Hobos | Illinois | Jobs & Careers | Sexuality | Posted 2009-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Former Kindergarten Teachers Make Quite Efficient Hobos
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
Alice Had Yet to Learn to Scream "Back the Fuck Off Me!"
Terrifyingly cheerful woman, handing out christian pamphlets at bus stop: Hello! Would you like something to read on the bus?
Girl, already reading large book: I'm, uh...I'm already...
Crazy looking hobo, scoffing and muttering to girl: People can be insane.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Books | California | Crazies | Default | Girls | Hobos | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Today, Though-- I've Got Leg Cramps
Hobo: Hey baby, you ever had the back a yo' knee fucked?
Girl in line at the show: Once...it was okay, I guess.
Hobo: Shitdamn girl, you're a freak!
Ybor
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Gotta try that
It Defines Me.
Hobo to hipster: Is a BlackBerry a cell phone?
Hipster: Yeah, but I don't have one.
Hobo: I like blackberry pie!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Fruit | Hipsters | Hobos | Questions | Posted 2009-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Have You Ever Considered an Exciting Career in the Hobo Arts?
Hobo: Spare some change?
Lady suit: No.
Hobo: Fine. Well, at least it's sunny out today.
Lady suit: Yeah, it's so nice. But I only get to stare at it from inside the office. (looks sad)
Hobo: I feel for ya.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Caesara
You're Not Butch Enough for Us, Pal
Hobo to girls: Oh, ladies, I like the way your skirts move. (girls look disgusted) Sorry, I can't help it if I'm a lesbian.
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Sticking with pants
I Gotta Get Home for Shabbas
Hobo, picking through recycling for cans and bottles: Thank god it's Friday!
Central Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | God | Happiness | Hobos | Massachusetts | Posted 2009-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Meantime, Would You Like to Take My Card?
Wildly bearded hobo riding rusty bicycle and wearing only one shoe and parachute pants: Why, hello miss. Would you be interested in entering into a mutually beneficial body massage arrangement?
Surprised, redheaded woman: Uhhhhh, not today, thank you.
Hobo: I'll try back later.
Queen West
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Default | Hobos | Offers and requests | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Native Americans: Hey!
Random hobo: Curse your pagan gods.
Portland, Oregon
And I Am Not Jerry Springer, My Friend
Cop (in creole): Move along.
Hobo: You don't know me!
Port Louis
Mauritius
Overheard by: Kallay
And They're Less Of a Drag
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don't need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Guys | Hobos | Smoking | Stores | Posted 2009-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Even Got Extra Time on My SATs for It.
Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!
Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Cops | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Guys | Hobos | Stores | Utah | Posted 2009-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Can I Have That Back Now?
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat--no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm...
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Fat people | Food | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Hobos | Money | Offers and requests | Panhandling | Sensory experiences | Wisconsin | Words | Posted 2008-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're the Only Living Species of the Family Struthionidae. True Story
Hobo: Excuse me, miss. Can you tell me something about ostriches?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jonesy
Categories: Birds | Default | Hobos | Offers and requests | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, or the Patriot Act
Dirty hobo (screaming): Does anyone have any popcorn on this fucking train? (glares because no one answers) That's what's fucked up with his country, no one will give you any fucking popcorn!
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Categories: Crazies | Default | Food | Hobos | Mental illnesses | Offers and requests | Politics | Questions | San Francisco | Train | Posted 2008-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But If I Collect Enough Quarters, Perhaps I Can Buy Him Out
Aboriginal hobo: There is a nice cave outside of Kings Park. Only problem is there's some old guy livin' in it, he's been livin' there for at least 20 years... I'm just waiting for him to die already so I can move in.
Train
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Dylann
e e cummings Would Go on to Fame and Fortune
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need...
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Birds | Crazies | Default | Gripes | Guys | Hobos | Mental illnesses | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Judging from the Testes Hanging Out of It
Hobo to tranny prostitute: You rockin' that dress girl! You the man!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: claire
Categories: Clothes | Compliments | Default | Hobos | San Francisco | Posted 2008-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Tiara Helps But Not Much
Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Hobos | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Posted 2008-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Keeps Trying to Stage a Comeback, Though
Hobo #1: No matter how you look at it, a swastika is still a swastika.
Hobo #2: (nods in agreement)
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Adam
Orange Really Is the Prettiest Color
Hobo to another: Well, I think I have a very nice smile.
Burlington, Vermont
Yeah, So Anyway, I'm in This Hobo's Bed, So I've Gotta Go
(girl sits down on curb to talk on her phone)
Hobo: Excuse me, but that's where I sleep.
Couple walking by: It is, he was there first.
London
England
Categories: Couples | Default | England | Hobos | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Scientologists Say It, It Must Be True
Hobo woman: So if you stand with one foot on Venus, and one on Mars, it is possible to move earth with a hockey stick.
Eriberto's
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Drew
Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Coworkers | Crazies | Customers | Death & dying | Etiquette | Food | Hobos | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Questions | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Ever Work on Black People?
Leathery hobo to passing students: One of you white-ass, livin'-inside motherfuckers owes me a dollar!
Austin, Texas
If I Don't Keep at It, I'll Never Graduate to Snarling
Hobo #1, after growling at passenger: I had to growl at someone.
Hobo #2: Yup.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Default | Feelings | Hobos | Violence | Washington | Posted 2008-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have a Jungian Query for the Hand-Dryer
Hobo: 'Scuse me, yo, can you tell me where the psychological bathroom is?
Bookstore
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: bookseller
As It Is, I'm Just Going to Nibble on You Instead of Robbing You
Hobo to freshman running by: You're lucky I'm high, kid.
State Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Sweetie, All Men Are Transparent
Hobo: Damn, shorty, you lookin' good!
Black girl, groping white boy passerby: I don't like the dark chocolate -- I need a boy I can see my reflection in!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: D.B.
Categories: Black people | Hobos | Race | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Legacy of Enron
Belligerent hobo: Hey, you! Get back here! Open up that bathroom door! Get back here, or I'll pull out my 401(k) on you!
418 East 34th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
And the Make-a-Wish Foundation Rejected My Request
Hobo to three women crossing street: I wanna bite y'alls' butts! I wanna bite a butt!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tron
Categories: Ass | Hobos | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Drive-By Insults on the Rise in Canadia
Crazy hobo: You have pretty hair, unlike mine. My hair is ugly. You're ugly, too. [Chick stares.] I gotta go steal some DVDs now. Bye, ladies!
Downtown Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: At least he was honest
Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Insults | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2007-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Hallucinations Need Veterinary Care
Hobo holding up stuffed glove: ... And now the mitten is having babies... And the liquid is starting to come out...
Ashland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karrie
Special Radiation Makes the Homeless Invisible to the Rest of Us
Hobo to passerby wearing sunglasses: That's right, 'cause I'm radioactive!
Detroit, Michigan
When the Student Is Ready, the Master Will Insult Him
Hobo: Fuck you, ya dirty fuckhole!
Male passerby: Wait -- 'fuckhole'? Is that, like, a cooch or an ass?
Hobo: Depends on if you're gay or not. For you, it's an ass.
Denny Way
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Washington | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The First Time in a Spotless Twenty Years of Alcohol Abuse
Loud hobo with wet pant leg: I pissed my pants! I got to get home to my wife to show her I pissed my pants! I got to teach my kids how not to piss their pants! I can't believe I pissed my pants!
Washington, DC
Categories: Hobos | Pee | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Amherst College Graduates Are Often Lacking in Tact
Hobo: Hello, little girl.
Four-year-old girl: I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
Hobo: Well, your vagina smells like vomit! [Mother gasps.]
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Kids | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which One Would You Want to Be True?
Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I'm going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]
Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Hobos | Lies | Pop culture | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Make-Up Sex Is Phenomenal
Hobo to cardboard box that fell out of his cart: I hate you with a passion! A very strong passion! And a very strong hate...
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Man, What Isn't?
Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, "Jesus loves you."] ... It's in the Bible!
Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Peggy
Categories: Hobos | Panhandling | San Francisco | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens to Unemployed Meteorologists
Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!
Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Cum | God | Hobos | Posted 2007-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Being Straight with the IRS Gets You
Hobo to suits who ignore his panhandling: Yeah?! Well, at least I never lied on my income taxes!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Hobos | Lies | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Curse You, Starbucks!
Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I'd offer you some, but it's not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers... This tastes like crap!
In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kier
You Don't Seem to Grasp the Spirit of Marketing
Crazy hobo passing out flyers: The animals eat the vegetables, and we are the minerals...
Girl, rejecting flyer: No, thanks. I've got one already.
Crazy hobo: You're a communist transvestite on Mars!
Isla Vista, California
Categories: California | Hobos | Insults | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Blonde's Dream
Hobo: Wow, you look just like Billy Idol!
Blonde: Um, thanks.
Hobo: No, really. You look good, girl. Wanna share some of my wine?
Blonde: Um, no thanks. I'm good.
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Compliments | Hobos | Posted 2007-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can I Get a Swig?
Hobo: Girl, I know you're a freak! All redheads are freaks!
Brunette hipster pumping gas: Step off. What I do is none of your business.
Hobo: Lady, I'm just talking shit 'cause I'm drunk.
Brunette hipster: Me, too.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: cuspy
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Hipsters | Hobos | Missouri | Posted 2007-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But at That Point I've Got Nothing to Lose!
Hobo to another: If that bitch is late, you gotta pull the dick out.
Wacker Drive and Lake Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: pulled out
Whatever Works
Girls' sports team jogging by: Happy Wacky Wednesday!
Hobo: I thought it was Whip 'em Out Wednesday!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hobos | Names | Overheard at BU | Posted 2007-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, I've Had to Tell Tommy Hilfiger's People No
Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I've been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that's what they're called... You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
Categories: Advice | Hobos | San Francisco | Words | Posted 2007-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?
Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it -- you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam -- you're shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Hobos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just after the Army Haircut
Crazy hobo: You lookin' good, girl! You look like Elvis!
Davis Street
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: the queen of rock 'n' roll
Categories: Compliments | Hobos | Michigan | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think of It As an Experimental Fiction Grant
Hobo: I tried skateboarding once, but I fell down and had a baby... Can I have some money?
Granville SkyTrain station
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: chad
Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Panhandling | Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's in the Fridge with the Pizza
Chick: Hey, want some pizza?
Hobo: Sure!
Chick: It's cold, but it's still pizza.
Hobo: What?! Cold pizza? Who eats cold pizza? I ain't never heard anything like that in my life. No, I don't want any of your crack-ass pizza.
Chick: Hey, you're homeless! You're not supposed to be picky.
Hobo: I bet you have a tight pussy.
W 9th Street and LaSalle Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: izz-ay
I Was Just Holding That Wall for a Friend
Lady hobo: Man, you is the biggest crackhead I ever met.
Giant hobo, muttering incoherently: No, man, I ain't no crackhead. I ain't no crackhead.
Lady hobo: Nigga, you smoke drywall!
Atlanta, Georgia
Which Is the Gold Standard for Nastiness
Screaming hobo: Your mouth is nasty! Your mouth is nasty, man! Your mouth is nastier than my asshole!
Shattuck Avenue and Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Categories: California | Hobos | Insults | Mouth | Posted 2007-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Rare Spotting of the Tufted Gay Hobo
Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Hobos | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
