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Hey! I'm Not Dying Yet!

Drunk college student: What's up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla' at your boy.

Green Line
Chicago, Illinois


Overheard by: On my way to church


Categories: Advice | Drunks | Feelings | Frat boy types | God | Homeless | Offspring | Students | Posted 2008-05-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That, and When Oprah Appeared to Me in a Popsicle

Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I'll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]
Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: 3 Hipsters


Categories: Hipsters | Homeless | Pennsylvania | Threats | Posted 2008-01-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If All of the Raindrops / Were Lemon Drops and Crack Rocks / Oh, What a World This Would Be

Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will... rain crack.

Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Drugs | Georgia | Homeless | Posted 2007-08-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle

Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: dek


Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise

Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You're so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We're already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don't want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money...

Mumbai
India


Overheard by: Mirchi


Categories: Couples | Homeless | India | Panhandling | Posted 2007-06-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then How about a Few Bucks So I Can Buy It a Shoe?

Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis... reduction... It's too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until--
Man: --No.

Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com


Categories: Homeless | Lies | Penis | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Shhh, They're the Fuzz!

Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what's they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium...
Homeless man: But what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene...
Homeless man: Peaches, what's they job?

Farmer's market, Union Square
New York, New York


Overheard by: I don't know, either


Categories: Food | Homeless | Jobs & Careers | New York | Posted 2007-03-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook