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Your Oversized T-Shirts and Puffy Bangs No Longer Have Any Hold Over Me!
Bum, to nobody in particular: I hate you, DJ Tanner!
Sacramento, California
Categories: About celebrities | California | Feelings | Homeless | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Strawberry Shortcake and the Purple Pieman Never Quite Saw Eye-to-eye
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: I don't have change, but I do have this muffin.
Hobo: Can't buy no weed with a muffin!
Boston, Massachusetts
Meet Berkeley's Best Improvisational Lear
Furious hobo in tie-dye to frightened college student: You know why girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink! God bless you.
Berkeley, California
Categories: Advice | California | Health & Hygiene | Homeless | Questions | Students | Posted 2010-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Agent's Grooming Me for Beverly Hills Begging
Beggar #1: Spare change?
Beggar #2: Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.
Beggar #1: I just got back from California.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Holidays | Homeless | Massachusetts | Money | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And a Paper Cup Full Of Tap Water!
Female gallery worker: There is some concern about how much food you've eaten.
Homeless bum: One cupcake!?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Jon
The Heidegger Hobo Also Plays Fundraisers and Private Parties
Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni
And I'm Like, "What Are You, Crazy?"
Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Brooke
Categories: California | Crazies | Default | Homeless | Jobs & Careers | Memory lane | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey! I'm Not Dying Yet!
Drunk college student: What's up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla' at your boy.
Green Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: On my way to church
That, and When Oprah Appeared to Me in a Popsicle
Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I'll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]
Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3 Hipsters
Categories: Hipsters | Homeless | Pennsylvania | Threats | Posted 2008-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If All of the Raindrops / Were Lemon Drops and Crack Rocks / Oh, What a World This Would Be
Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will... rain crack.
Atlanta, Georgia
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise
Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You're so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We're already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don't want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money...
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: Mirchi
Categories: Couples | Homeless | India | Panhandling | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then How about a Few Bucks So I Can Buy It a Shoe?
Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis... reduction... It's too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until--
Man: --No.
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Homeless | Lies | Penis | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shhh, They're the Fuzz!
Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what's they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium...
Homeless man: But what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene...
Homeless man: Peaches, what's they job?
Farmer's market, Union Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: I don't know, either
Categories: Food | Homeless | Jobs & Careers | New York | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
